This same week last year, we were at Disney World. I haven't shared the photos yet, so I thought I would include some in this post along with some other favorite trips this past year... it is also reminding me that I still need to make our disney photo book. A perfect segway...
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Weekends & Weekly Intentional Planning
Last week, I had coffee with a friend and we talked about what we're trying to do different in the new year. During our conversation, I think I used "flailing" 35 times.
"I feel like I'm flailing at work, then I fly to pick up Emma at school, and we're flailing at the grocery store, rushing through errands and throwing together dinner."
My goal is to do less flailing. Too often I feel like I am short on work time, so I am rushing through my day responding to emails, ordering product, writing posts, jumping on calls, forgetting things, "multitasking" to the max and generally flailing about. I'm sure many of you can relate.
The funny thing is, is that I love my work day. I love sitting down to the buzz of an active business (I use that term loosely!) - I find it exhilarating. So much so, that my brain seems to work extra fast and I put my blinders on for 5 hours and work at an intense clip... and then my afternoon alarm goes off. I stumble out to my car in sort of a haze as I re-enter the real world again. It is a good sign - it means I love what I do. But, it also exhausts (!!!) me. Majorly.
As I drive to pick up Emma, I take that 5 whole minutes to decompress and re-center. It is always my goal to be in complete Mom-mode by the time I get there (a lot to ask in a short 5 minutes) - and then I'm on to thinking about dinner, running errands, playdates, house work, etc.
The problem with this scenario, is that I don't have much creative energy left at the end of the day/week. I always envisioned my after school time with Emma spent baking chocolate chip cookies, or creating forts and playing. Yes, it does happen, but just not as often as I'd like. A majority of the time we crash on the sofa for an hour to decompress (honesty!).
Instead of weekends filled with cooking, organizing (which I consider fun...), working on projects or exploring, we just lounge. Lounging is totally fine and healing, but after a bit I would rather be doing something fun, than nothing at all... just the way I'm wired.
While I love my job and consider it a privilege to spend my days working creatively, sometimes I feel like (honesty here!) our family life and home life doesn't get the same amount of thoughtful, creative energy. I just don't want to give my family what's left over at the end of the day/week, I want to make sure I'm conserving enough brain space to give them my best self after school and on the weekends.
At this point, you all might be thinking, "Um, Jenny, we see a lot of photos of quality family time on this blog." And yes, we do have quite a bit, just not as much as I'd like. And maybe more than that, I'd like to have more energy to be 100% present in those moments. That is something that I think I'm not as good at managing.
So... I'm making an effort to plan time for the down time and make it creative time and relaxed, pressure-free time with activities that I love to do (with and without family help!) - things that fuel my creativity and get me excited. In order for that to happen, not only do I need to plan for managing a realistic workload during the week (so I don't get too burned out), but also scheduling time that is just for fun and errands, so fun doesn't take a back seat.
Here are some ways I've been thinking about prioritizing.
I need to plan for a work week that I can realistically manage in the time I have allotted for work... which means, getting someone to help and staying organized!
I need to plan for fun free time with Emma. This means planning to have time for crafting, building, impromptu picnics, playdates, ice cream stops, exploring, etc.
I need to plan for more fun and creative projects for myself - gardening, workouts, art, antiquing, decorating, cooking. Me Time to clear my head and lighten my load is a priority.
I need to use my weekend free time more wisely to lessen the flailing that happens during the week, including meal planning, grocery shopping, etc.
I need to allow myself to time to decompress without feeling guilty.
I need to walk every morning to clear my head - it makes my entire day better.
Here is the time table I made that gives me a visual of how my time is spent.
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
6am - 8am
Walk & Coffee
Yoga
Walk & Coffee
Tennis
Walk & Coffee
Walk & Coffee
Walk & Coffee
8am - Noon
Work
Work
Work
Work
Emma Ballet & Lunch with Girls
Emma & Me Time = Mike Golf
Church & Brunch
Noon - 2pm
Work
Work
Work
Lunch Date with Emma
Emma & Me Time
Emma & Mike Time
Errands
2pm - 6pm
Emma & Me Time
Emma & Me Time
Emma & Me Time
Emma & Me Fun Time
Emma & Me Time
Fun Project Time
House Keeping, Laundry
6pm - 8pm
Dinner at Home
Dinner at Home
My Free Night
Mike’s Free Night
Dinner Out - Date Night
Easy Dinner at Home
Dinner at Home
8pm - 10pm
Jenny & Mike Time
Jenny & Mike Time
Dinner & Drinks with Girls
Jenny & Mike Time
Jenny & Mike Time
Jenny & Mike Time
Jenny & Mike Time
Feel Good Time
Emma & Me Time
Emma & Mike Time = My Free Time
Work Time
Family Time at Home
Family Out & About
Jenny & Mike Time
By the way, I already missed my yoga class this morning... so, don't think I'm a pro at this, at all.
Putting this together really help my visualize how I spend my time. It helped me "see" times that were available for being more productive and recovery/down time. It also allowed me to officially schedule "My Free Night" which had happened more like every two weeks, or once a month. Now that I'm scheduling it weekly, I can more proactively look forward to planning it - a manicure, dinner with friends, a j.crew stop, or working at Starbucks (sometimes a little more time to work is the only thing I need... especially when I'm doing fun things like looking for new products!). Putting it on the calendar makes it more likely to happen.
Also scheduling "Emma and Me" time helps me to visualize that time and plan for some activities, instead of just down time. Of course, we all need down time and I make a big effort not to over schedule Emma - at all. Most of our time together is spent at home piddling and playing - which is great and has helped her become an independent player. Now, I'm making an effort to do some of the fun things with her (like build a lemonade stand, or market checkout...) that I've always thought, "we'll do that when we have more time."
**Update : A couple of you noticed that I didn't have Mike & Jenny Time scheduled - so, I updated the Friday night from Dinner Out to "Date Night." We try to do date nights once a week. The evenings are ours, too. We are actually going away together this weekend - which, we don't do often enough!
In the past 5 years since Mike and I were married, my life has multiplied threefold... becoming a parent, busier job, bigger house to manage, but I haven't taken any real steps to help organize it and manage it. I just always thought "if I had a little more time..." Now, I'm actively making more time to make it all work better. Of course, I'm hoping the result of all of this thinking and planning will help us to feel like we have more quality time together. That's all we really want, right? Less exhaustion and more time and energy for enjoying each other.
I'm also going to give myself some permission to not get it all done. However, I'm hoping that I'll be better at prioritizing what doesn't get done without sacrificing special family time... or my sanity. If something doesn't get done, I hope it is the house being spotless or the laundry being folded that gets the shaft : )
Are any of you feeling the same way? I have to tell you - just giving myself time to think about it has helped tremendously. How are you all making it all work?