2014-10-13

With half of the United States now being officially single, it is no surprise that there are quite a few people out there with negative opinions about relationships. Whether they think they will be held back, anchored down, suddenly overrun with drama, or any other less-than-ideal misconception, I think they all have one thing in common.

They’ve got the wrong idea.

Relationships are in no way supposed to bring negativity to your life. Of course we all face challenges and have disagreements, but the overall tone and nature of the relationship should be a positive one that provides you with more joy than it does misery. If the pendulum swings in the other direction, then what is the point of being with them in the first place?



In hopes of shedding a different light on the idea of committing yourself to someone, here are some benefits we enjoy as the result of being in the right kind of relationship.

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You have a partner to share your experiences with.

Regardless of how much some people enjoy the freedom of being single, my personal belief is that any accomplishment we have, goal we reach, or great story we want to tell is always enhanced by having someone by our side to share it with. When we are in a relationship we always have a cheerleader to share in our happiness and excitement about the great things that happen in life (as well as a support system when things are not so great).

You have someone who keeps you motivated.

Yes, motivation and ambition come from within and we should want to be happy and successful (whatever your personal definition of that is) whether we are single or in a relationship. But often times having a significant other in our life gives us a deeper meaning, someone who we want to make proud. An accountability partner. A person, most of all, we never want to let down.

Being in a relationship means having someone there who we want to be our best for.

You have a built-in date for all events.

Family holiday party? Awkward work event? Great charity fundraiser? All of these things are more fun with somebody by your side. Especially someone you love and care about.

You are shielded from all of the awkward creeps your friends complain about.

If I had a dollar for every time I was sent a screenshot of an incredibly awkward text exchange, unsolicited naked photos, or someone lashing out because of being rejected, I would be retired by now. Having a significant other in your life means that you’ve already found what people fishing through the dating world are looking for.



Trust.

You should never have to worry about whether or not you can trust the person you’ve committed yourself to. This is not something that can be said for the random person you are going on a date with tonight that you’re still not sure about yet. There is a security in this kind of stability that only being in a relationship can bring.

They help increase your confidence.

True confidence comes from within, but that doesn’t mean it is not enhanced by someone who consistently reminds us how attractive or smart or funny or amazing they think we are. Having the adoration of the person you love only helps to stoke the fire of self-worth.

You understand you don’t have to choose between your passions or your loved one.

Too many people think they are going to have to stop doing the things that make them happy if they get into a relationship. Maybe they will lose focus on their career, not be able to travel as much, or have to cancel that white-water rafting trip.

On the contrary – being with the right person will only mean that you have somebody to share all of those great experiences with. Or if it is something you are going to do alone, being with the right person means you will have somebody waiting for you with open arms upon your return.

The right relationship should never hold you back in life, but encourage you to do everything that you love, because they want to see you happy.

Even boring things become fun.

Suddenly, that trip to Bed Bath & Beyond just became an adventure because the person you have the most fun with is by your side.



You always get honest feedback.

While the person you love should never say anything hurtful or discouraging to you, they are also a person you should be able to count on for their honesty. This means sometimes telling you things that you need to hear rather than only what you want to hear – but only because they love you and want the best for you.

Better sex.

Sure, one night stands can be fun if that’s what you’re into, but many people stay single and dive head first into the hookup culture because they want to keep their options open and do whatever they want whenever they want.

What these people do not yet realize is that they are chasing things they will never find with that strategy. The basis of a real physical connection is a real emotional connection. The most fulfilling intimacy comes when you are with someone who you have built a bond with and have taken the time to learn about. Something that cannot happen in just one night together.

Less risk.

Let’s be honest – the hookup culture mentioned above is a breeding ground for some less-than-ideal risks that come along with it. Monogamy drastically lowers the risk of STD’s or any other unsavory consequences.

You get to experience love.

Love is one of those rare, powerful, exciting emotions that we can only experience when we open ourselves up to another person. It makes us smile in the middle of the day for no reason. It gives us something and someone to look forward to every day. It makes you laugh louder and adds deeper layers into your life. It opens your heart to new emotions that make the very experience of living more vivid.

To truly love someone is to link your emotions to theirs. To share in their happiness and to lend them your strength to heal their pain. It is not the obligation, but the willingness to do whatever it takes to make them happy while they do the same for you.

It is something that bonds us to another person, that makes two “I’s” become a “we.”

Love is a reward, and it is only available to those who take the risk of opening themselves up emotionally. The right relationship should never complicate your life, but enhance it – in many more ways than those listed here.

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