2016-12-26

I just spent a few days days in Patong beach (Phuket) and I am currently writing a detailed nightlife guide about the city (to be published soon).

This smaller article is a ranking of the 9 best nightclubs in Patong. All of them are located along Bangla street (also referred to as Walking Street), which makes club-hopping very easy and fun. If you start early and finish late, you can do all of them in one night easily (and you'll still have time for a few gogo bars and live music pubs).

At the end of the review, I give more general advice about clubbing in Patong: Prices, dress code, safety, where to meet girls, the best hotels near the nightlife, etc...

Top Nightclubs in Patong

Illuzion

Illuzion is without any doubts the best nightclub in Phuket at the moment. It beats the other ones in every category: Music, ambiance, design, events and crowd.

It was ranked 93 on DJ Mag's Top 100 Nightclubs in the World 2016 (the only Thai nightclub on the list).

Music and shows: 8 resident DJs, including 4 international ones, playing commercial EDM, Rn'B and Old School. The playlists are not very original unless there is a guest DJ. Their "secret VIP room" in the back has more underground/tech house music.

To complement the DJs, Russian sexy dancers and acrobats perform every night from the elevated stage. You also have foreign singers (hip-hop performer on Fridays for instance).

Design and Facilities: 5,000m2, Ibiza-style mega-club with 10 bars and countless VIP and VVIP areas. Fantastic lighting and special effects (pyro, lasers, a 100m2 HD LCD display, etc).

Ambiance and Crowd: Mostly foreigners (expats and tourists) with much less prostitutes than elsewhere. The club is the busiest in Patong, every night of the week. Even though clubbers are segregated between "normal", VIP, VVIP and VVVIP, it is so packed that you'll still manage to mix with (almost) everyone.

Events:
Illuzion has a weekly schedule that includes:
Tuesday: Master D (Hip Hop - R'nB)
Wednesday: DJ Kraiz (EDM)
Friday: Live Hip Hop and Swag Party

They may welcome a more famous DJ on Saturdays (once every month) such as Sven Vath, Danny Avila, Tom Swoon, Kura or Nakadia.

Prices:
Free entrance
800THB for free flow alcohol from 10PM until 1AM (avoid it - it is better to go to Illuzion after 2AM)
Table/bottle service available with minimum purchase of 5,000THB

Contact Them:
Instagram: Illuzion Patong

Facebook: Illuzion Phuket

☝ Insiders Tip:
Illuzion closes at 4am, but the party continues for 2 more hours in a smaller club behind the stage. The door policy is stricter so you only have a VIP crowd, including many expats and some of the most beautiful girls I've seen in Patong (not sure if they were freelancers or normal girls). The music is also nicer, more underground. I paid 310THB for a Rum Coke there.

Seduction

The best nightclub in Patong before Illuzion opened, Seduction is a huge complex with at least 5 separate areas. They are always crowded and happening, having recently welcomed DJs like Skrillex, Calvin Harris and (soon) Diplo. It reminds me of SkyGarden in Bali (though not as fun).

Ground Floor
Outside the main building, on the left, the Seduction Beer Garden can be avoided as there isn't anything special about it.

Second Floor:
The main club is on the 2nd floor with a free entrance all night long. It is a large rectangle room with a VIP zone behind the DJ and tables occupying most of the dance floor. The DJs play your usual commercial songs (Hip Hop, EDM, Top 40). It is full every night of the week with a younger and lower-end crowd compared to Illuzion. Many Europeans, Americans, Russians, Arabs and Indians. There is also a fair share of prostitutes (let's say 60%), including Russians (I presume as I saw a hot blond girl mingling with an old Chinese guy). Like elsewhere, beers costs 200-250THB and there is a 800-THB free flow promo from 10pm until 1am. You can get a table as long as you purchase one bottle of spirits (minimum 3,500THB). A bottle of Black Label costs 3,900THB.

You cannot smoke inside but it is allowed on their balcony (with a view on Walking Street). It's the best place to meet girls actually.

Third Floor:

On the 3rd floor, there is a VIP club called Blow. It is a relatively small space with a low ceiling and a window overlooking the main disco. You normally have a dress code to enter but I saw several guys wearing only shorts. I didn't pay anything to get in, which is surprising for a VIP club.

It was not very crowded but I liked the music (deep house) and the ambiance. It seems to be popular with expats and residents of Phuket. Recent events include performances by DJs Sebastien Leger, Chocolate Puma, Dillon Francis, A-Trak or James Zabiela. You can check their upcoming schedule of events on their Facebook page: Blow VIP.

Fourth Floor

On the 4th floor is VIBZ by Seduction. It is a bottle club with hip-hop and Rn'B music. You don't really have a dance floor but instead around 20 white sofas with low tables. I only had a peek for a few minutes then left as it wasn't really crowded. More information: VIBZ by Seduction.

Fifth Floor
Finally, there is also a rooftop restaurant called Higher that I did not visit.

☝ Insiders Tip:
I met two girls inside who were drinking for free after they were given a bracelet by the manager downstairs. Obviously it only works if you are really hot.

Contact them:

Facebook: Seduction Disco
Instagram: Seduction Nightclub Bangla Patong

Tiger Night Club

This is also a mega complex, built on three floors. It is the most peculiar building on Bangla Street and the easiest to recognize with its 3 massive tigers statues in a fake jungle backdrop. It is a good alternative to Seduction and Illuzion if you are looking for a more "Thai" nightlife experience.

On the first floor, there are around 40 small beer bars that are each owned by different individuals (sometimes by foreigners). Each of them has its own name (the most famous are Pussy's Penitentiary and Pink Paradise). They start to get crowded early in the afternoon until close. They look similar to those you can find elsewhere in Patong: A circular bar, a few stools, TV screens, a 1,000THB bell (to give free drinks to every one) and a handful of bargirls entertaining customers. 1 or 2 girls will do sexy dancing or pole dancing. It is quite noisy and messy, but it is certainly fun. The prices are low: 100-120THB for a local beer.

On the second floor, you have the actual Tiger Disco. There are signs saying it is the "biggest nightclub in the world". It's probably not true, but it is still a huge and for sure the biggest in Phuket.

Most of the space is occupied by tables and high chairs, with a large podium in the middle, some private VIP areas on the side, and a VVIP zone behind the DJ. You also have two more quiet rooms where you can play pool.

The crowd is mixed and quite representative of Patong:
- Arabs and Russians are renting most VIP rooms and stay by themselves (with hookers) on the edges.
- Europeans, Australians and Americans are wild on the podium.
- All around, in darker corners, Thai bar girls are actively making eye contacts with anyone possessing a heartbeat.

While prostitutes make up at least 80% of the girl's population in Tiger, there are still plenty of opportunities with foreign girls. They seem less stuck up than in Illuzion and Seduction.

The music is commercial EDM and hip hop with some Arab songs from time to time. When I visited, they had two pairs of Russian sexy dancers next to the DJ. I found that staring at the Tiger statue with laser eyes just behind them was even more captivating though!

Free entrance. The prices on the second floor are on par with other nightclubs (200THB for a beer).

Contact them:
Facebook: Tiger Club Patong

Stars (After Hour Nightclub in Patong)

As I was walking aimlessly on Bangla street at 5AM, I noticed there were many people entering this nightclub on the basement of Illuzion. I went to have a look and discovered it is the current go-to after-hour spot in Patong.

From late afternoon until 4AM, Stars is a cabaret show featuring Russian strippers. After that, it becomes a late-night hip hop club. It is small but it looks quite fancy with velvet sofas and tapestries.

It is actually part of a pool lounge that also stays open late (called Tazmania). It was surprisingly very busy and there were plenty of pretty girls (many of whom where accompanying foreigners). A Russian girl was pole dancing frenetically but I imagine she was an employee.

You can only fit 20 people on the dance floor and I didn't see a bar so it's best to book a table. If not, you can still order from the pool bar and it's rather affordable (250THB for a Whisky Coke, 100THB for a beer).

Contact them:

Facebook: Stars Phuket

White Room

This club has a similar setup to the second floor of Seduction: A big rectangle room with 600-pax capacity, lots of tables and a VIP area in the back. It is the only club in Patong where I paid an entrance fee (200THB). Before 1AM, they also have a free flow for 800THB. It was crowded with tourists and only around 20% of Thai prostitutes. The music was a mix of hip-hop/EDM/Top 40.

Contact them:
Facebook: White Room

Cocoon Club

Located next to Seduction, Cocoon is a small bar-lounge built on two floors. It was opened just a few months ago and it is already one of the popular venues among young expats and long-term residents of Phuket. A reason for that is their focus on alternative electronic music (Deep House, Deep Tech, Lounge).

The main action is on the open-air second floor. It features a large central bar and sofas on the side. You can go there around 11pm for some pre-clubbing drinks. They have dancers and acrobats to keep you entertained.

Contact them:

Facebook: Cocoon Club Phuket

Tai Pan Disco

One of Patong nightlife's oldest venues, Tai Pan is more suitable for guys who are looking for prostitutes. There is one main room packed with young gogo dancers, strippers and freelancers. In contrast, most customers are old Western guys. That might explain why they are so cheerful and laid-back.

The music, mostly top 40 remixes, is much louder than elsewhere (to the point that my ears were hurting). A beer costs 180THB with a free shooter if you come early enough (the security guard will give you a coupon). Open bar until 1AM for 800THB. The club closes at 4.30AM.

Contact them:

Facebook: TaiPan

Ecstasy

Ecstasy is a brand new boutique nightclub that does not have a large crowd yet. The only people inside looked desperate as if they had been smuggled by force from the street.

It is relatively small, with a 300-pax capacity and only 2 VIP corners. There is also a mezzanine but it was closed (probably because empty). It has a modern look, mainly due to its large LCD display behind the DJ. The dance floor area is well lit and slightly elevated, but the rest of the club is darker with a low ceiling.

To attract more people, they are having a really interesting open-bar promo at 599THB until 3AM. If you are both poor and an alcoholic, that's a deal you can't beat.

The DJs in Ecstasy play EDM/Rn'B, like almost everywhere else in Patong. You can buy a bottle of Red Label for 3,500THB, a bottle of Black Label for 4,000THB, a beer for 180THB and a standard glass of alcohol for 240THB.

Contact them:

Facebook: Ecstasy Patong

Hollywood

This club was called Hollywood a few years ago, then it changed its name to VIP room, and it's called Hollywood again since December 2016. You can access it by walking up some stairs covered in red carpet and bordered by two giant Oscar's statues.

They have live music from 9pm to 11pm, then a DJ until 3am and, finally, a Thai band until close. In between, foreign gogo dancers (female and male) will perform various shows. Monday is a hip-hop night.

It wasn't very crowded when I went there, especially compared to any of the venues above. A few tourists, some Thai groups and girls who seemed to be freelancers. The design and the setup of the club is decent though, especially the LED rain effect on the ceiling.

The prices are reasonable, around 100THB for a beer and 280THB for a cocktail.

Contact them:

Facebook: Hollywood Phuket

Meeting Girls in Patong Nightclubs

To summarize, I would say that there are four types of girls you might meet in a Patong club:

→ Thai working girls: Depending on the clubs, they make up from 95% to 20% of the women crowd in Patong. They are straight-forward: They are looking for a guy who will pay to have sex with them. You'll generally see them sitting down or standing in a corner with short skirts and high heels, trying to make high contact with guys who pass by. Some are bargirls trying to earn extra cash while other are 100% freelance prostitutes.

→ Thai party girls & professional girlfriends: These girls, usually more pretty than average, live a good life having multiple boyfriends and sugar daddies. They have charming and fun personalities, ideal for spending a good night out. They often sleep around, sometimes asking money, sometimes not. For sure, they are your best bet for a free one night stand. They often sit at a table with a bottle of alcohol (courtesy of the boyfriend who thought he was paying for school) and you'll notice they call the waiters by their names.

→ The Thai tourist: Usually from Bangkok, she is on holiday with her friends. If there are guys in her group, she will be quite hard to approach. If she is with girls, it won't be difficult. She might be reluctant to go home with you because she does not want to leave her friends alone or to look bad in front of them. Get at least her number. This is the best type of girls if you are looking for a more serious relationship. Most often, they can be seen on Walking street stopping every 2 minutes to take selfies. Inside the clubs, they stay in quiet areas when they are sober, then after 2 drinks they loose control and hit the podium.

→ Western tourist girls: Most are within a group of guys or with their boyfriends. Some are alone but they will be chased by 50 other guys (if they are pretty). Russian and eastern European girls are a special sub-category: Cold as ice, the most pretty are either prostitutes or impossible to talk to. I did manage to meet several though after befriending a Russian guy.

Using Dating Sites to Meet Girls

Chatting with girls on dating sites and inviting them for a drink is an excellent strategy for scoring with non-prostitutes.

You should start chatting before you arrive in Patong by connecting to either one of the two most popular Thai dating websites: Thai Friendly or Thai Cupid. Thai Friendly has more girls in Thailand but it does not have an international database (especially Vietnamese and Filipino girls). Either way, you can sign up on both for free, see if there are girls you like, then upgrade to a 25$ paid membership to improve your success rate. You can cancel it after you leave Thailand.

Tinder and Badoo (which I normally recommend because they are free) do not work well at all in Phuket. There are just too many guys and not enough girls.

Girl-Friendly Hotels Near Patong Nightclubs

I slept in the 4-star Swisshotel Resort which is 300 meters from Bangla street and rated 8.1/10 on Agoda. I paid 75$ per night (you might find a cheaper price here) for their most basic room which I found a bit expensive. The upside is that it shares the same building with Hard Rock Café and Hooters. There is also a street full of cheap beer bars just in front of the hotel (most of them are owned by foreigners). It is a girl-friendly hotel, but you have many families and children.

If you plan on partying hard and getting naughty, I advise you to stay in other hotels with a more open-minded customer base (note that you may be asked to pay a joiner fee of about 300THB if a girl comes with you at night). I didn't stay in the following hotels but they are the most recommended in specialized forums:

Budget Guest-Friendly Hotel in Patong:

Summer Breeze (1 minute walk from the first clubs), rated 8.3/10 and 35$ per night (or find a cheaper rate here)

If you want to spend less than 10$ for a cheap place to stay, there are dormitories just above the nightclub Illuzion. The name of the guesthouse is Kool Backpacker (but beware, they are not girl-friendly).

Best 3-Star Girl-Friendly Hotel

Yorkshire (2 minutes from the nightclubs), rated 8.2/10 and 50$ per night on Agoda (a few dollars less on HotelsCombined).

Best 4-Star Girl-Friendly Hotel

Sleep with Me (4 minutes walk from the clubs, 2 minutes from Jungceylon Mall), rated 8.5 with prices starting at 80$ per night (compare rates here).

Best 5-Star Girl-Friendly Hotel

Millenium Resort is a great choice for high-end clubbers (though popular with families as well). It is within Jungceylon Mall and next to Walking street. Rated 8.3/10 with prices starting at 80$ on Agoda (or try to find cheaper prices here).

Choosing a hotel near the nightlife also allows you to avoid the tuk-tuk mafia (200THB minimum to go anywhere).

General Advice about Nightclubs in Patong

Dress Code

You can enter any nightclub in Patong wearing just sandals, short pants and a T-shirt. That said, it is not a bad idea to try to look better than other guys, especially if you want to meet non-prostitutes. Wearing a buttoned shirt can help you with that.

Prices

Every nightclub I've been to was free (except White Room = 200THB). I was surprised as I read on other websites about people being charged up to 300THB in most clubs. I was in Patong early December and maybe it wasn't high season yet. Please leave a comment if you had to pay.

The drinks usually cost around 200THB for a local beer, 250THB for spirits, 300THB for cocktails. A cheap bottle of Smirnoff, Absolut or Red Label cost around 3,500THB (100$).

If you are on a budget, you can get drunk outside the clubs for twice less. Margarita bar in front of Illuzion is one of the cheapest bars I've seen and the owner is friendly (though probably poisoning me with fake booze).

Many touts on the streets (sometimes foreigners) sell open-bar promotions. The new Ecstasy club has the cheapest and most interesting one (THB599 until 3AM). In other venues, it costs THB800 and runs from 10pm to 1AM.

Safety

According to the weird (but fascinating) website farang-deaths.com, at least 274 foreigners died in Thailand in 2016. Among them, 111 died in Phuket. I let you imagine how many additional non-lethal accidents there were.

Party-related deaths are unfortunately too common, from the drunk-driving accident to the fight with security guards.

To reduce the risks, you should follow these rules:

- Do not drink and drive (choose a hotel close from the nightclubs I suggested earlier).

- Do not ride a motorbike at night.

- Do not use drugs (it's much safer to do it in Europe, Australia or the US).

- Do not provoke Thais or get into fights with Thai people, especially those working for nightclubs (they are recruited among the local mafia).

- If you bring a girl back to your hotel, remember to keep all your valuables locked in your safe.

- Make sure you have a travel insurance that covers medical evacuation (WorldNomads for instance which is recommended by both Lonely Planet and Rough Guides).

- Once you leave Bangla Street, try not to behave as a drunkards and please keep your clothes on.

If I forgot a nightclub or if there is a new opening, please leave a message in the comment section below!

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