The Green Team Teen Trillionaires #5
Meteor or Bust
Writers: Art Baltazar, Franco
Artists: Ig Guara, J. P. Mayer
Colorist: Wil Quintana
Letterer: Carlos M. Mangual
20 pages, $2.99
Under the rule of the wicked DC Lords, a new era began two years ago: The infamous Didio-Lee Age. With it, the death of dozens of comic books each year has become an established habit. The least I can say is: That’s good news for perverts like me attracted to canned books. Oh, the scrumptious delight of being a comic-necrophiliac! My hunger for desperate, helpless and– most of all– shitty cancelled comics is continually satisfied! All thanks to DC’s bad publishing decisions!
The news of The Green Team’s cancellation surprised no one. One could debate for hours whether publishing this book was a good or a bad idea. After all, young rich kids trying their best to become heroes– it doesn’t sound so shabby, does it? We sure have seen worst concepts finding their way to the market! The real problem rather lies in DC’s predictable unwillingness to properly support it. Before this fifth issue, I had only read The Green Team #1, and it was god-awful. Truly, no editor or executive ever looked at the finished product, or else this bloody mess would never have been released.
A few months ago, my fellow reviewer Locusmortis explained perfectly why this comic sucks so hard. Sadly, Teen Trillionaires is still as shit-ridden as he made it out to be… With everything Locus noted still holding true. (The Commodore has definitely earned his nickname of “Captain Exposition” by now.) The dialogue continues to sound horrendously fake– Art Baltazar and Franco try way too hard to sound cool and edgy, and fail even harder. The overall plot of the story is, finally, just stupid… As in stupidity ensues from every single word and event.
One of the most dreadful moments in this down-and-out book is when the spacecraft of the teenagers doesn’t crash when violently impacting a huge meteor at full speed. The spacecraft landing without a scratch (even when it was falling down toward the meteor) is supposedly explained by the shuttle “being in Zero G.” Well, I call bullshit. You don’t need to be a scientist to know everything has a mass, and that encountering a planet-sized meteor means entering its massive gravitational field– and therefore, is no longer in a Zero Gravity environment anymore. The craft should have crashed horribly. Big scientific mistakes like this one are unforgivable. It sure doesn’t help that the Commodore acts like a colossal jerk who scolds everyone for being stupid and “forgetting about science.” Well no, bro… Actually, you are the one who’s wrong! I felt like I was being talked down by someone pretending 2+2=5, which ain’t a pleasant feeling.
A tremendous amount of absurdities, a forgettable villain, omnipresent assholery and the absence of purpose for the characters’ quest (I still don’t get why they’re going after that damn meteor to begin with)– makes my Comic Bullshit Sense™ tingle way over 9000!
There is one slight joy in The Green Team #5: Seeing these teen jackasses die– or at least suffer! Apparently a girl already lost her arm during a previous issue, and that did make me giggle. By the end if this comic, all of the shitheads were having their asses handed to them– and that made me downright gleeful. I will vigorously applaud Baltazar and Franco if they have the guts to kill all of them for their eighth– and final– issue. In some way, that would be a pleasant and redeeming gesture to close their awful Green Team run.
According to Locusmortis, “… the only suitable place to put this comic is into a wood chipper.” Worry no more, mate, worry no more. DC finally decided to follow your advice. And I would be lying if I pretended I’m not enjoying the meteoric downfall of this outrageous crap. - Simon J. O’Connor
Pretty Deadly #1
Writer: Kelly Sue DeConnick
Artist: Emma Rios
Colorist: Jordie Bellaire
Letterer: Clayton Cowles
24 pages, $3.50
You may have heard of this comic– it’s become slightly notorious over the last few days because a comic shop owner dared to criticise the book and ripped up a copy (which of course he’d paid for)… After which Image Comic head honcho Eric Stephenson threw his toys out of the pram and made a big deal out of it. So after all that hoo-haa, I figured I should at least find out what the fuss was about and see if it was as pretentious as the comic shop owner claimed it to be.
This is the second comic written by Kelly Sue DeConnick that I’ve reviewed. The first being Avengers: The Enemy Within #1– where I noted that, “my dog could write a better comic– and it died a couple of years ago” and “this waste of paper and atoms goes beyond bad and reaches into whole new dimensions of horrible.” Now Pretty Deadly #1 isn’t THAT bad… You’d have to be really trying hard to write a four-color fiasco as bad as that comic twice in one year. I get the feeling that Pretty Deadly is something DeConnick has put a lot of effort into and honed it to be the best work that she’s put out to date but… And you sensed there was a but coming didn’t you?… It’s in equal measure ponderous and pretentious– and it’s only saving grace is the art by Emma Rios.
The story is set in the Wild West– in what I’d guess is the latter part of the 19th century… As a pair of huckster storytellers (in the form of a blind old man and a little native Indian girl) are hunted by a mysterious female gunwoman who looks kind of like Captain Harlock mixed with Vampire Hunter D in drag. We’re not told why this hunt is going on… We’re not really even told much about the characters at all or their motivations. Instead we’re given cryptic epithets from an unspecified narrator (probably the mysterious gunwoman) about a bunny talking to a butterfly. DeConnick lays the symbolism on pretty thick at the start of the book (which makes for a rather turgid beginning) and the book struggles to pick up the pace from there.
The art by Emma Rios is very good and she really deserves a better script to work on. Her art has the scratchy, hazy quality of Guido Crepax but the linework is slightly thicker and more definitive than the late Italian master. There are some problems with the layouts during the early pages of Pretty Deadly #1– especially when the blind man and Indian girl are telling their parable to an audience in a town square. At times it can be rather hard to figure out what’s going on and what they’re trying to describe. Later on, when the narrative starts to get a bit more conventional the layouts improve considerably. The colors by Jordie Bellaire fit the art like a glove. She’s one of Marvel’s top colorists and this is right up there with her best work.
This one gets 2 stars for the art and colors– but the story did absolutely nothing for me. If you really want to read a Western comic, then Magic Wind from Epicenter Comics is well worth a perusal… Or you could track down some of the old Blueberry collections from Epic Comics. - Locusmortis
Infinity Heist #2
Writer: Frank Tieri
Artist: Al Barrionuevo
Colorists: Pantazis, Mossa, Loughridge, Fabela
Letterer: VC’s Joe Carmagna
20 pages, $3.99
Infinity Heist, huh? I like heists, and this one is anti-IronMan, so I thought I would check this story out. So far, so good.
The issue begins with a mildly difficult-to-read gray-on-white all caps synopsis of issue one on the title page. If you can crunch your eyeballs through that, you’ve got an idea of what you’ve missed in the intro issue. As I read along, though, I realized the synopsis wasn’t necessary– the writing in this issue was sufficient to bring me up to speed.
And the writing wasn’t bad. The dialogue was believable and the few moments that verged on info dumping were well-handled. I liked the characters even though they’re criminals—an essential ingredient to any successful heist story.
This is no Ocean’s Eleven of the Marvel Universe, though. Infinity Heist is heading more in the direction of the tragic hero– gotta be bad to be good. The trope of “one last job” is in force, but is equally countered by the superhero stand-by of “this is my one chance to make a difference.” That dynamic sets the stage for what I’m sure will be future conflicts among the crew. Add some organized crime hostility, and we’re in business.
There wasn’t much mention of why the Avengers were away, but the reason the cats were at play was convincingly explained. It sucks being a few rungs down from “super”-anything status, whether hero or villain, doesn’t it? To be honest, I love Tony Stark, but I’m rooting for the “good” bad guys in this one. It’ll be fun to see how it all plays out.
The art was okay. Didn’t wow me, but it was about what I expected from a mainstream Marvel book. There was one arty shot looking up from ground level to reveal a sky filled with flying cars, or civilian shuttles of some kind… Not sure what was going on there– but for a moment it evoked an emotional reaction in a cinematic sense. I’d like to see more of that from the artist in the future issues.
- Red Tash
Great Pacific #11
Nation Building Part 5
Writer: Joe Harris
Artist: Martin Morazzo
Colorist: Tiza Studio
Letterer: Michael David Thomas
22 pages, $2.99
I chose to read this series before Ian had posted his Who’s Getting What This Week? picks, but when I read his short, but glowing review of the first trade, I got really excited. Everyone has different tastes, and there have been a few titles I haven’t enjoyed as much as Ian has (and probably vice versa), but generally, if he says something is good– it almost always is. And true to form, Great Pacific #11 is awesome.
I couldn’t believe how quickly I gravitated toward main character Chas Worthington… An even more odd reaction since he doesn’t say a single thing in the first several panels of the story. It’s unclear if Chas’ actions are for the betterment of humanity– as there are “terrorists” attempting to thwart Worthington. As a new reader, it is hard for me to determine which “side” is actually in the right… But all the uncertainty and ambiguity actually intrigued me.
Every single character in Great Pacific is captivating. I could go on and on about each of them. There are so many facets to explore with just the characters alone… And I believe great characters = great stories.
I feel like a broken record when I critique the art on most Independent comics– as the work always seems so much more enjoyable than the gritty crap published by the “Big Two” comic book publishers. Why? Because the creators get to make the comic they want to at Image… And by the looks of it, most creators don’t want their work completely shrouded in grime. My only small complaint: The character designs by artist Martin Morazzo are a little too similar in some cases (but it’s still relatively easy to distinguish who is who in most scenes). Other than that, his pencils/inks are great and usually finely detailed. I won’t quickly forget the awesome bright colours from Tiza Studio either– they really liven up an already energetic comic. (That’s saying a lot too– since the majority of the scenes are mostly just characters talking… On a huge floating trash pile!)
I’m tremendously glad to have Indie/Creator-Owned comics in my world. Without them, the comic industry would have few truly worthwhile comic books. As Ian has correctly mentioned on IMJ multiple times, there are many terrible Indie titles too… But luckily for me, Great Pacific #11 is one of the more fantastic new series currently published by Image. – Nick Furi
Velvet #1
Before the Living End
Writer: Ed Brubaker
Artist: Steve Epting
Colorist: Elizabeth Breitweiser
Letterer: Chris Eliopoulos
25 pages, $3.50
It’s about time Ed Brubaker and Steve Epting got back together to give us more comic book goodness! Their run on Captain America is my all-time favorite. But don’t take my word for it… Here’s how amazing others found their partnership: The new Captain America Winter Soldier film is based on their first 12 Cap comics. Decades of Captain America stories, and the filmmakers chose this duo’s first story arc. With a creative team of this magnitude, I just had to read Velvet #1.
Velvet introduces us to Velvet Templeton. The entire tale exudes a James Bond feel– if Bond was a woman. Brubaker, among many other positives, is well-known for creating strong female characters. This comic is no exception. In just 25 pages, he and Epting give us a great foundation for the stories to come.
As a big fan, I am very familiar with how Brubaker writes. His independent comic book work always possesses a distinct storytelling hook– with the main character narrating their thoughts via dialogue boxes. Brubaker has mastered this art… His use of “thought boxes” allows for significant story progression– while also giving readers a deep look into his characters’ minds. Brubaker has used this technique in such excellent series as Sleeper and Criminal… So seeing it again in Velvet is like connecting with an old friend you haven’t seen in a while.
Sadly, some overly aggressive publisher solicitations for future issues have spoiled much of the story for me. But I refuse to spoil it for you. All I will say: Velvet’s world is about to get extremely intense, very fast. And here’s a testament to great storymakers: Even though I feel I know a lot about what’s going to happen– I’m still very curious to see what happens next. My only complaint about Issue #1? I wish the story had livened up a little more before the end… But I really can’t complain, since I got a solid introduction to Velvet’s character in its place. I think a few extra pages of story and art would’ve done the trick for me, but since some companies charge $4 for only 20 pages of story and art, I’ve got no problems with 25 pages for $3.50 USD.
The comic also contains some of Steve Epting’s better art in recent years. It evokes the Secret Agent/Spy story in no-nonsense terms, perfectly complimenting Brubaker’s writing style… And Elizabeth Breitweiser’s color work strongly enhances the art as well. If any of the above remotely interests you, do yourself a favor and buy this comic. - Aaron Evans
Superior Carnage #4
Writer: Kevin Shinick
Artists: Stephen Segovia,
Dennis Chrisostomo, Dan Mexia
Colorists: Jay David Ramos,
Vero Gandini, Rachelle Rosenberg
Letterer: VC’s Joe Caramagna
20 pages, $3.99
You know, I used to think Superior Spider-Man was bad, but Superior Carnage #4 brings a whole new meaning to category of “Terrible Web Head Stories.“
I was actually fairly lucky with Spidey for a while– reviewing half-decent stories I couldn’t totally rip on or completely hate. But that streak ends here. Sadly, Superior Carnage #4 had everything I dislike about comics all in one book. I can’t remember the last time I felt this way about a pamphlet, but saying Superior Carnage #4 stinks and reads like a steaming pile of shit is, well… Defaming shitpiles.
Otto Octavius clearly isn’t the Spider-Man we all know and love, but I thought he was giving an effort to act a bit more normal. I must have misread that character development somewhere, because this Otto can’t stop boasting about how awesome, smart and “superior” he is. Not only does he say this out loud, he thinks it as well… Which made me think, “Wow… What a pompous dick!” To put this repetitive insanity into perspective, Spidey-Ock mentions how smart he is a minimum of six times in 20 pages… Yet keeps forgetting the symbiote doesn’t set off his spider-sense. Yeah… Tell me how smart you are again, Otto.
There are innumerable problems with this story– like non-stop exposition explaining what I’m already looking at on the page, characters who announce their plans before they launch into them, and continuous plot contrivances combined with lame, unnatural coincidences. (I would explain all this idiocy in detail, but I know Ian would probably edit all the examples out!)
SIX artists contributed to the interior of Superior Carnage #4. This usually results in terrible art but the end result wasn’t as bad or distracting as it could have been. Here’s a rundown of a few of the sloppy moments: Noticeable variances in a few pages and panels, some smaller panels that were clearly penciled as last-minute layouts– with most of the work done by the inkers. The structure of Spidey’s head changed a bit from the beginning to the end… And I also think the two variations of Carnage were done by different artists too. (At least that last difference kind of makes sense.)
It’s extremely funny how the Wall-Crawler books with the prefix “Superior” have been the worst Spider-Man comics I’ve read of late. Lackluster stories full of plot holes, terrible to mediocre art… All for the ridiculous price tag of $3.99. If Marvel were forced to tell the truth in their comic book titles, every one of these books would be retitled Inferior Spider-Man– with the subtitle, “Stories Not Worth Your Hard Earned Money.” Sadly, I fear the Zombies would keep buying.
Please do yourself a huge favor and skip this book. – Nick Furi
Larfleeze #4
Revolt of the Orange Lanterns
Writers: Keith Giffen, J. M. DeMatteis
Artist: Scott Kolins
Colorist: Mike Atiyeh
Letterer: Dave Sharpe
20 pages, $2.99
First things first: Am I the only one who thinks the title for this tale is not enticing at all? “Revolt of the Orange Lanterns!” Um, really? Haven’t we had enough War of the Green Lanterns, Revolt of the Alpha Lanterns, Revenge of the Green Lantern and other Rage of the Red Lanterns already? These repetitive story arcs speak volumes for the lack of imagination currently scourging through the various Green Lantern sectors of the DCU.
It has to be said that Larfleeze #4 is funny– but not in a good way. You don’t laugh with this book– you laugh at it. There’s barely a story, and the pages are filled with trite, easy gags. It’s as if Giffen and DeMatteis were stalling their readership for two or three more issues before moving the plot forward– in a vain attempt to increase sales with cheap jokes. The truth might even be sadder, really… As I find it hard to believe this title sells marginally at all. The miserable truth might just be that Giffen and DeMatteis don’t have a clue what to do with this book. Hence the lack of any direction, and the constant stupid quips.
This comic’s humor is the equivalent of a dumb wink on The Big Bang Theory. If you’re hoping for clever Seinfeld sketches or smart Community-like jests, you’re setting yourself up for a big disappointment. Each scene feels forced, and there’s not a single word of organic dialogue. Speeches and words are only included when they help prepare an upcoming poorly drawn joke. This utilitary approach ends up providing a mechanical, cold, empty husk of a narrative. Nothing is real here. The world of Larfleeze exists in a universe where things happen with an express purpose: Attempting (then failing) to make you laugh. In life, personalities and events force humor and hilarities to happen. In Larfleeze, the humor forces events. This is entirely the wrong philosophy.
The art by Scott Kolins is a definite shame. It’s messy, sloppy and lazy. There are some nice layouts and drawings on three pages only– where the action is set on the recently conquered planet of Dyrge. I will never purchase another comic drawn by this man– and you shouldn’t either.
As I noted in my Green Team review, I am (and always will be) a comic-necrophiliac– crawling on the rotting carcasses of cancelled shitty titles… Eating their corrupted flesh. With Larfleeze so bereft of any redeeming qualities, I am already drooling at the sight of my latest dinner! - Simon J. O’Connor
Superior Spider-Man #19
Writer: Dan Slott
Artists: Ryan Stegman, Livesay
Colorist: Edgar Delgado
Letterer: Chris Eliopoulos
20 pages, $3.99
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. This is my second Superior Spider-Man read in a row and I don’t highly dislike it (so far). Have I been, somehow, desensitized to bullshit? Did writer Dan Slott curse me with some ancient voodoo– making me even more handsome but also giving me the IQ equivalent of an IGN reviewer? I fear for my soul, brethren.
Back when Amazing Spider-Man #700 was published, I was outraged– both by Slott’s demeaning attitude towards fans and his overall awful scripts. Should Peter Parker have been allowed to die? (It is, after all, a fair question.) One can argue about this for hours– either accepting classic comic book heroes die and eventually come back… Or refusing to support the unnecessary gloom that death obviously casts in comics. It’s a matter of perspective. Some accept important characters’ deaths and even welcome the sorrowful emotions it can bring, enjoying to be moved that way. Others prefer to think death and pain are present enough in real life, andf choose not to invite them into their leisure. Either position is acceptable.
But some things aren’t understandable. You want to kill Peter Parker? If your editors are willing to do so, do as you please. But show the proper talent, the needed respect (both to readers and to the character’s legacy) and some gosh-darn skill. We all know Slott didn’t demonstrate his proficiency in any of these things– and that’s the root of all the righteous criticism ASM #700 has received since then.
Nineteen issues after this shameful mess, it seems like the fanfic aspects of Slott’s diarrhea is fading away. SpOck is getting much less successful in his adventures now, and is encountering more and more difficulties. This grounds his character and makes it more believable. Another good thing– the introduction of Miguel O’Hara. I’m not a big fan of time travelers being trapped outside of their era, but I bet some interesting ideas can come out of Miguel’s situation. Also, O’Hara is an engaging, lovable Spider-Man– and that’s something so rare to see nowadays… You can’t help but enjoy such a happenstance.
Nonetheless, big problems still remain. Mary Jane is still depicted as hugely moronic. We all know someone with her wide acquaintance of Parker should have guessed by now Peter isn’t Peter anymore. But what’s her only observation to Spider-Man’s sudden violence, constant bragging and mood swings? “You’ve changed. And it’s time I changed, too…” Talk about writing characters badly!
Overall, just like with SSM #18, I felt entertained. Once again, I didn’t catch myself yawning or looking at my watch while reading this book. But I’m going to dock one star off SSM #19 compared to the previous issue– mainly because one element of this new tale is greatly irritating. Dan Slott often toys with the idea Peter could come back sooner than expected thanks to obvious hints of Parker’s intellectual presence laid here and there. Once again we find such a hint in this issue. It’s supposed to support the current theory that there was no mind wipe at all… Peter has simply been tricked into believing he is Doctor Octopus and is slowly recovering from such a fallacy. Hence the hints– they are proofs of Peter’s slow upsurge in consciousness.
It’s okay to give subtle indications that a current status quo may not be what it seems. But coming from Slott, it just feels obnoxious, mean and– frankly– a little twisted… As if he were throwing out red herrings simply to pull the rug from under our feet with yet another “ground-breaking reveal.” It just feels forced and only ends up emphasizing the stupidity of the whole “Superior” storyline to begin with. - Simon J. O’Connor
Trish Out of Water # 1
Writer: Vince Hernadez
Artist: Giuseppe Cafaro
Colorist: Ruben Curto/Studio Parlapa
Letterer: Josh Reed
22 pages, $1.00
More fun than a red-hot poker up the arse… But less fun than a sudden anal prolapse. The only reason… And I mean the ONLY REASON I picked this comic– is its name. It’s so fucking pun-tastic that I can’t help but imagine the meeting where this was pitched:
Writer – “So the name of this project is “Trish out of Water” coz like she’s a fish out of water… Geddit?”
Editor - “That’s utter genius my man, we gotta hire you before DC gets you!”
I’ve read some pretty bad comics while doing these reviews, but I think this is the first where I could feel my IQ plummeting while reading it. Oh wait, I just remembered I reviewed Kick-Ass Vol 3 #1– so Trish is probably better than that piece of shit… But that’s like saying rabies is less unpleasant than necrotizing fasciitis.
The best way I can think to describe this mess: It’s like one of those shitty early 2000′s TV Teen drama’s (like Popular or The OC) mixed with Aspen’s Fathom comic. It has a writer who is obviously in his mid-30s, but knows how the “kewl kids” talk like really ya… Hold on while I fucking vomit. The plot is not much better. It’s lifted (pretty much wholesale) from any of those teen soap operas, until the “shock twist” at the end– which is neither shocking nor twisted… As it’s so fucking obvious you could see it coming a mile off.
Spoiler! The main character is one of those whatever-the hell-they-are creatures Fathom is. Oh wait… Have I just given the comic’s “big reveal” away? Well fuck me old boots… I’m sorry about that. I liked Michael Turner as an artist and I still miss him since his untimely passing… But whoever the hell is running Aspen is really eking out the last nth of mileage from the Fathom universe.
The art displayed in Trish out of Water #1 is like most of Aspen’s productions– a pale imitation of Michael Turner’s work. The artist has no concept of what clear storytelling is– the layouts are random and hapless and the character designs are unattractive… Which really goes against what should be the main unique selling point of any Aspen comic. Even the coloring (Hey Ian, I remembered to spell it in Americanese!) is nowhere near as good as it used to be in past Aspen comics.
You’d think that if you’re only paying $1.00 for a comic book, you’d be getting value for money right? Well think again. You’d be better off burning that dollar for its residual heat or eating it for its nutritional value. - Locusmortis
Supergirl #24
Death Becomes Her
Writer: Michael Alan Nelson
Artists: Diogenes Neves, Marc Deering
Colorist: Guy Major
Letterer: Taylor Esposito
20 pages, $2.99
Dear DC Executives and Editors,
With sincerity, I thank you for allowing me to easily decide which comics I will buy from you on a monthly basis. Without the blatant and forceful direction you seem to mandate onto your creators, I would have many more great books to choose from. Heck, if your writers & artists were able to tell the stories they wanted, they wouldn’t feel alienated… And I bet I’d be forced to buy an entire line full of great comics.
It’s true. When your New 52 stunt began, many of your “new” books jumped out at me. Unfortunately, your many sudden creator changes (and every scripter you employed writing story arcs to fill out a future trade paperback), caused me to drop to only two regular DC titles several months ago. And much to my displeasure, I will now be going down to just one– Wonder Woman.
Supergirl was one of my biggest surprise favourites coming out of your momentous re-launch. And it was going along rather strong until you forced it into an unnecessary crossover– a lame attempt to boost sales for all your “Super” titles. And with writer Michael Alan Nelson still attempting to restore the momentum this series once had, his Supergirl #24 was definitely lacking in flavour. The decompression in this story (and lately, the entire series) could not have possibly translated well to any reader who had not read the previous issues. Luckily, I had read multiple issues in a row– and I still found the narrative overly decompressed.
Even with the move to unnecessarily prolong the most recent Supergirl story, Nelson did create a somewhat entertaining tale… And there were even a few unexpected moments. This series is clearly about how Supergirl chooses to deal with losing her home planet of Krypton and how she must move on and adapt. This sets up a great opportunity for the character to finally advance from being a whiney brat. Given the decompression, I unfortunately doubt this will happen anytime soon.
Even after my criticism, I want it known I am not dropping this title due to the current mediocre state of the story. No, I am dropping Supergirl because a blurb at the end of Issue #24 informed me I’m about to endure yet another crossover event… And your telling me to come back in two weeks to buy Action Comics was the last straw. I could have maintained a modest level of enjoyment reading a character I really enjoy– even though she often appeared in a substandard book… But I will no longer be forced to buy comics I do not want to read. These “events” cause severe disruption to the narrative flow of almost all the ongoing titles involved and I’m afraid Supergirl will once again lose the magic it once had.
Per the art, I don’t know why I enjoy Diogenes Neves’ rendition of the typical DC “house” style… Maybe his art just feels more personal. Marc Deering’s inks are great– highlighting the pencil work. Both Neves and Deering deserve much credit for creating a sense of wonderment in the staleness you allow to blanket your comics. It’s agonizing, but I still find the colours in this comic overly dark. I don’t think it is Guy Major’s fault either… It seems like a company-wide desire to create a consistent dark look across your universe. I understand the idea behind wanting a similar tone, but you should know it gets sour– Fast.
So again, I thank you DC. Thanks for saving me the extra money I would have spent on the characters I love in your universe… Thanks for giving me the freedom to try new independent comics from other publishers. Because of your thoughtfulness, I now get to fall in love with other characters– filling the void in my soul because I can no longer read fun, outstanding stories starring Booster Gold or Supergirl– and all the other misfit characters you’ve left to rot and die.
Your friend – Nick Furi
P.S. Since this is a review, I’ll explain my rating: The story, as written and drawn, is worth 2 Stars. If I had my choice, I would have given the overall enterprise a ZERO– especially given my distaste for this new crossover insanity. But fair’s fair– even if I am seemingly the only one playing this way.
Guardians of the Galaxy #7
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artists: Sara Pichelli, Valerio Schiti
Colorist: Justin Ponsor
Letterer: VC’s Cory Petit
20 pages, $3.99
Holy filler, Batman!
This comic is as unimportant as it gets! Chock full of stupid jokes and lame characterizations, this book is basically stalling its readership until next month’s equally insignificant effort. And the reason Guardians of the Galaxy #7 is so trivial can be summed up in one single word: Angela.
Brought into Marvel’s 616 Universe thanks to Neil Gaiman’s willingness to make money off basically anything, Angela was recently introduced during one of Marvel’s innumerable events. If memory serves, it was Age of Ultron-- but seriously, it could have been World War Hulk for all I care. (Ah, trolling never gets old!) Anyway, now that Marvel has purchased the rights to this almost unknown character, it was but a predictable step to task Brian Bendis into finding her something to do. Hence this bland, boring Guardians title– focusing the weak power of its bare 20 pages to further introduce and give purpose to What’s-Her-Face. Needless to say, we got a lot of presentation– but a lot less purpose-finding.
This title being entirely dedicated to a marketing stunt is degrading enough… But the worst part? Next issue is apparently another filler, devoted to yet more marketing bullshit, the Infinity crossover event. This publishing behaviour– tricking fans into buying one useless issue after another– is the kind of annoying and mocking habit that will cut down the number of comics consumers buy over the long haul. That’s why I truly dislike this book– and can’t support it.
Despite the fact Bendis only supplies dull and trite banter here, there is one enjoyable and noticeable element one can’t ignore: The art. Sara Pichelli and Valerio Schiti’s work is an eye-candy feast. You just can’t get bored one single second at the many double-spread pages– they’re that good-looking! Angela sure doesn’t wear a heavy load of garments though. That’s just how fake her inclusion in the 616 Universe is: Marvel executives felt she needed to be almost naked to entice nerds into liking her. Thankfully, Pichelli and Schiti manage to give her noble, adequate poses most of the time. This issue is all about Angela as a person, so suitable and proper postures are needed. This way her character is that much more believable– in one aspect at least.
This isn’t a god-awful comic. The dialogue sure is corny and stupid, but not at a cringe-worthy level. The real rub lies in the obvious decision not to tell anything important, relevant or interesting in the book. This arrangement becomes more and more a natural management move for the Big Two– one I detest. As customers, it’s important to be aware of what we buy. Give a company a buck – and you basically tell them you want more of what you just got. When a company like DC floods the market with filler and shitty stories for the entirety of Villains Month– and people buy buckets of those heretic Ann Nocenti Joker’s Daughter turds– it’s time to get rational and stop backing bad titles and scornful marketing techniques. - Simon J. O’Connor
Batman ’66 #4
The Hatter Takes the Crown
The Clock King Strikes
Writer: Jeff Parker
Artists: Jonathan Case, Sandy Jarrell
Colorists: Tony Avinam, Jonathan Case
Letterer: Wes Abbott
30 Pages, $3.99
Who said comics can’t be fun anymore? Batman ’66 is a great reminder of how comics started: Fun, done-in-one stories. This book perfectly encapsulates the campy fun of the Adam West Batman TV show… As both the writing and the art merge in a simple way that makes it look easy. Jeff Parker, Jonathan Case and Sandy Jarrell team-up to give us an entertaining story about Batman, Robin and Alfred (I especially liked his scenes in this issue) traveling to London. While there, they find out the Mad Hatter is wreaking havoc. Hilarity and good old-fashioned crime fighting ensue.
I found the small details the most enjoyable: Batman and Robin (in costume) on the London-bound plane, Batman autographing something for a fan, the British Batmobile, the Mad Hatter making fun of people for the hats they wear, etc… All these seemingly small moments added to the richness of the experience.
The Mad Hatter story takes up 2/3rds of this comic, with the Clock King tale taking up the back third. I loved how the final story was directly tied to the previous Mad Hatter adventure. Something happens in the Hatter story (subtly and brilliantly executed by Parker) and it leads the Dynamic Duo right to the Clock King. Once Batman and Robin put two and two together (in classic Batman ’66 style), everything makes perfect sense. I actually went back to make sure the moment was there– and sure enough, it was.
Parker makes you feel like your watching the show– and that’s a fantastic feeling. There are plenty of glorious ‘BOOFS’, ‘SLAMS’, ‘BONGS’ and other classic sound effects to go around too. I have to commend DC Comics for finding artists who bring even more energy to Parker’s scripts. The exemplary art meshes with the fun scripts– bringing the stories to life in a very animated way.
For the record, I am NOT against dark and depressing comics. I just wish there were a few less, and the ones being published were better executed. Truthfully, I don’t give a crap what genre or mood a comic displays– as long as it’s good. Batman ’66 has a nice nostalgic feel that brings me back to younger times when I would read dozens of classic Marvel comics which were super fun to read. This comic is super fun too– and is expertly crafted by everyone involved.
Perhaps the best thing about this comic? The done-in-one stories. You don’t have to read the issue before or the one after… Which permits you to buy what you want when you can afford it. To make the reading experience even more flexible, the series is also available digitally (on a weekly basis) in 10 page installments… Leaving several different ways to enjoy this series in whatever format suits you. What’s not to love about that? – Aaron Evans
Nowhere Men #6
Writer: Eric Stephenson
Artist: Nate Bellegarde
Colorist: Jordie Bellaire
Letterer: Fonografiks
22 pages, $2.99
Wow! I feel like I just read half a novel– there was that much conversation and information in Nowhere Men #6. Usually, I enjoy when a comic isn’t afraid to cut loose, be different and have tons of interaction between characters. However, this book didn’t meet my fancy. I’m guessing it’s because I dropped in on the middle of a story– with zero prior context or background into the conflicts between the different groups. If I would have been more familiar with the characters and their motivations, the massive ongoing discussion between several factions would have been way more interesting. Given my lack of history with this title, I felt overwhelmed by the sheer amount of information being thrown at me.
There are 4 different groups to follow. The tricky thing for new readers? Figuring out how they all connect. These groups might simplify into 2 or 3 teams later… I don’t know. Needless to say, Nowhere Men #6 is not new reader friendly. There seems to be people with powers, a virus making its way through them, teleportation, clones and scientific research to benefit humanity… A lot to take in on your first encounter. This overload of information makes it difficult to distinguish what is actually important. The cliff-hanger ending doesn’t answer any questions either. It’s almost like Nowhere Men is the LOST of the comic world.
Nate Bellegarde provides some very simple line work– which I really enjoy. The simpler the better for me. Things never get overly complicated artistically, making everything easily distinguishable. The only problem I found with Bellegarde’s work: Since his lines are very delicate, any attempt to depict a character of advanced age comes off as random lines on a character’s face. They’re not really age lines… They’re just there. Besides that one style nitpick, I think Bellegarde does great work. If I love Indie comics for anything, it’s their vibrant and varied colour palate. The different artists make the decisions they need for each individual story and their books look more natural than most mainstream comics. Jordie Bellaire’s colour work here fits that description perfectly.
While I enjoyed the premise, art and overall talent on display in Nowhere Men #6– it still didn’t quite hit the spot. I know this is partially my fault, as I was late to the party. Just goes to show plot recaps are almost essential reading in comics these days– especially for new readers. Otherwise, how do you grow readership? Not everybody haunts the Trade Paperback aisle of their local comic shop like Ian does. – Nick Furi