Hello, imonks, and welcome to the weekend. Ready to Ramble?
1956 Nash Rambler Palm Beach Coupe
Happy birthday goes out this week to William Shakespeare. He is 451. Here’s his present: Only 8 percent of the top universities in the United States now require their English majors to take even one class on him. “We have found our Bard suffering ‘the unkindest cut of all,’ ” said the authors of the report, from the American Council of Trustees and Alumni.
“At most universities, English majors were once required to study Shakespeare closely as an indispensable foundation for the understanding of English language and literature. But today — at the elite institutions we examined, public and private, large and small, east and west — he is required no more….Rather than studying major literary works in depth, students are taught the rationale for and applications of critical approaches that are heavily influenced by theories of race, class, gender, and sexuality.”
Well, something’s rotten in Denmark, if you ask me. The Bard deserves better for his birthday. So, to honor him, we are going to intersperse this Ramblings with Shakespeare quotes. Attached to really cute animals. Because few things are sweeter than mixing the profundity and grandeur of the greatest English writer with the whimsy and humor with which God created some animals. Or, as the Bard put it, “Nature hath framed strange fellows in her time.”
This month Congress will need to decide whether to reform, repeal or re-up section 215 of the Patriot act, the part that gives the NSA the ability to collect meta-data on almost all American citizens without cause or notification. GOP presidential candidates have already begun to weigh in. “Sadly, one GOP candidate thinks the NSA’s violation of your rights is ‘very important,’ ” Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) tweeted over the weekend. “On day one in the Oval Office, I will END the NSA’s illegal assault on your rights.” The comment was a swipe at Jeb Bush, who has not only supported the program but said it’s “the best part of the Obama administration”, and that, “For the life of me, I don’t understand the debate” over the metadata program. Well, Jeb, let’s review:
First, there is NO actual data that the program has done anything to actually prevent terrorism. An expert panel Obama appointed to review the classified facts concluded, “Our review suggests that the information contributed to terrorist investigations by the use of section 215 telephony meta-data was not essential to preventing attacks…”
Second, it is, on its face, unconstitutional. U.S. District Judge Richard Leon (A Bush appointee) said, “I cannot imagine a more ‘indiscriminate’ and ‘arbitrary invasion’ than this systematic and high-tech collection and retention of personal data on virtually every citizen for purposes of querying and analyzing it without prior judicial approval. Surely, such a program infringes on ‘that degree of privacy’ that the Founders enshrined in the Fourth Amendment.”
So, it doesn’t achieve its goals. And its unconstitutional. And it costs insane amounts of money. And it generates suspicion of the government. Well, Jeb, I agree. I don’t understand the debate either.
Speaking of politics, the next time you are in Castelbosoc, Italy, you can stop in at the new attraction in town: Museo Della Merda, which roughly translates to “Museum of Poop.” The museum’s goals is to show “what a useful and living substance crap really is.” The exhibit tracks the history of excrement and seeks to educate visitors on the ways poo is put to good use around the world.
On the sidebar to the right is an interesting article: Which Hymns Should We Forget About? The author argues for leaving these five in the dustbin of history:
5. Turn Your Eyes upon Jesus (The things of earth will grow strangely clear in the light of his glory and grace.)
4. Onward, Christian Soldiers (the war imagery is confusing and dangerous).
3. The Old Rugged Cross (sentimental, sappy poetry)
2. Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee (theologically shallow and humanistic)
1. In the Garden (shallow lyrics and music)
Hmmm. I love Joyful, Joyful. The others, … not so much. My question to you, imonks, is this: what five hymns would you like to see left behind? And which would be the five you hope are still sung 200 years from now?
Odd headline of the week: Burnt Macaroni and Cheese Forces Evacuation at Iowa Capitol.
Firefighters in Slidell, Louisiana, roared into action Saturday after someone phoned in to report seeing 6 ducklings plunge through a drain. I’m not sure what this has to do with firefighting, but whatever. I like ducks. The problem, of course, was how to get them out. Firefighter Cody Knecht wriggled partway into the drain and got the bright idea to impersonate their mother using the “quack, quack, quack” ringtone on his iPhone. It worked.
Mrs. T, a pet tortoise, had a problem. Her front legs were chewed off by a rat. Yikes. Her owner, Jude Ryder of Pembrokeshire, Wales, had a solution. she turned to her son, mechanical engineer Dale Sinclair-Jones, to design a set of wheels for Mrs. T. “We were afraid she may have to be put down but her new set of wheels have saved her life,” Ryder told the BBC. “She took to her new wheels straight away but she has had to learn how to turn and stop. She can get a good speed up, much faster than before.” And this only a week after the new wheels. I think the Hare needs to watch out.
It was an unlikely meeting, perhaps. Ted Cruz met Monday with two gay Democratic men who own a club and hotels in New York. They mostly wanted to interview him about his views on Israel (since Cruz is running for President) but they also pushed back on his position on gay marriage (Cruz wants the states, not the feds, to decide). You would think people from opposite sides of the spectrum meeting together to discuss differences would be lauded by all. Alas, the meeting raised a firestorm. The hoteliers, Ian Reisner and Mati Weiderpass are now facing economic punishment and public shaming. At least two gay advocacy groups have cancelled a charity events at their club, and Democratic LGBT groups planned a protest outside of one of their hotels. So this is what we have come to: The out-group must not even be spoken to.
SCOTUS listened to arguments about same-sex marriage this week. Without the issue of religion coming up once. Hmmm. There seems to be a contest going on to paint the debate in the most apocalyptic tones. Who would you vote for?
James Dobson says “we may have a civil war” over the issue, and “I really believe if what the Supreme Court is about to do is carried through with, and it looks like it will be, then we’re going to see a general collapse in the next decade or two.”
Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council said last year, “I’m beginning to think, are re-education camps next? When are they going to start rolling out the boxcars to start hauling off Christians?” This year he says of the Supreme’s decision: “This really will determine the future of Western Civilization. It really will, this is very serious.”
Glen Beck addressed his adversaries directly: “What kind of America are you building, you frickin’ Nazis! What kind of Nazi regime are you building? Wake up! … You are following a Nazi group. I don’t know who is even leading this, but you’re becoming Nazis.””We need to start putting them into the robes of the Inquisition,” he continued. “That’s the way we need to start looking at these people because this is the Inquisition, gang. You think that there isn’t a Christian holocaust coming?”
Rick Joyner prophesied that the SCOTUS decision could lead to the mark of the beast. But, ever-nuanced, he made sure to qualify this: “Even if this is not the actual mark of the beast, it is at least a precursor, a ‘dress rehearsal’ that sets up the world for this ultimate test.”
Mike Huckabee says that the Christian faith will soon be “criminalized”.
Don Wildman of the American Family Association said, “Justice Kennedy holds civilization in his hands [funny, I thought that was God’s job]. He will decide which way we are going to go, and if we step away from the Judeo-Christian perspective we will never return. Our society will be radically changed within the next 30, 40 years, your grandchildren will be influenced and the society that we have will never, can never be repeated.”
Alan Keyes not only seemed to agree with Dobson that a wrong SCOTUS ruling could lead to war, but said it would be justified: “If the United States Supreme Court presumes to impose any redefinition of marriage on the states, respectively, or the people, without addressing the issue of unalienable right it involves, with reasoning that respects God-endowed right (which is the logic by which the American people asserted, and still claim to possess and exercise, sovereign authority over themselves), the Court’s decision will be an attack on the very foundation of constitutional government, of by and for the people of the United States. It will be a high crime and misdemeanor that effectively dissolves the just bonds of government between and among the states, and among the individuals who compose the people of the United States. It will therefore be just cause for war.”
Prison Fellowship praised the decisions by Koch Industries and other companies to no longer ask about criminal history on job applications.Koch Industries joined companies such as Walmart, Target, Home Depot, and Best Buy on Monday in deciding to delete the questions. “Continually punishing somebody for one act in their past is antithetical to the gospel and diminishes human potential and the whole concept of the Imago Dei [image of God], said Jesse Wiese, a policy analyst with Justice Fellowship, the policy arm of Prison Fellowship.
Franco Rabuffi of Italy wrote to Pope Francis some time ago. He apparently asked for prayer for an illness. This week Francis called Franco to see how he was doing. Alas, Franco figured it was a prank call on hung up on His Holiness. Twice. Fortunately, Francis is persistent. By the third call, Franco finally figured out he was speaking to the actual Pope Francis. “I was speechless, but Francis came to my rescue, saying that what had happened was funny.”
Finally, a couple of you did not enjoy my music selection last week. Philistines. This should be more to your liking. Be sure to watch the whole thing.
Well, William, we have come to the end. Happy 451th birthday. I hope you liked the present. You know, the animals quoting your plays. [by the way, I could not fit them all in. Here is a full gallery of them]. Really, Bill, what did you think? Pretty clever, eh? What eloquent and profound thanks would you like to offer, O Master of Words?