The week that was in Thailand News: You can always bet on Thailand for the best news
Gerry Carter
With the Euros taking hold in France was it any wonder that most Thais seemed to be at home this week. Certainly it was the safest place to have a flutter on the matches as the most predictable of speculative outcomes was that the Thai police would crack down on betting.
Perhaps believing the hype that he might be subject to arrest in the Kingdom a Frenchman went over to Cambodia to bet on the football and came up trumps with a wager on his compatriots winning the opener. After playing it up – or rather down – he literally ran back visa-less to Thailand. Immigration nabbed him and, rather than doing the obvious thing and hiring him as a new spokesman for the tourism authority, they locked him up.
Whether he was being chased by money lenders or just, more likely just loves Thailand so much was unclear.
Probably the latter for it was certainly the place to be for quirky news this week that was sure to put a smile on any face even if you are French, in debt and in the slammer.
Top billing went to the Nok Air pilots who joked about flying ex PM Yingluck into the ground as she was boarding a plane. The Line messages somehow became public and a copilot was suspended. I’d feel a little safer on their flights if he was transferred to an inactive post, like..er… tourism minister.
For once again dear Khun Kobkarn at the Sports and Tourism Ministry raised her elegant head above the patriotic parapet to suggest that cycling would be a great way to promote “sports tourism” as she called it. Maybe she thinks that there are only accidents at Songkran and New Year or maybe there’s a cunning Baldrick plan to close all the roads to traffic. That must be it – I take my hat, no my helmet off to your innovative thinking, madam minister.
Meanwhile, the crackdown on soapy massage continued unabated this week with Chiang Mai police even getting in on the act. In Bangkok they let up on Nataree for a day or two with a raid that was beamed live across the internet! The girls “Live at Emmanuelle” kindly hid their faces from the cameras possibly not wishing to upstage the beaming bobbies who were the stars of the show. What consideration! Who cares if nothing was found and there was no wrong-doing, it was great fun and the girls did have nice legs.
More fun indeed than the next raid on poor old Nataree – this time to check the meter as the Thaivisa headline claimed. Indeed part of their brief was to check the water pipes, extensions and those electrics. But it certainly seems like they are picking on Nataree – what’s next? Make sure the stair rods are correctly aligned or they’ve put the dogs out?
Meanwhile warrants have been issued for “Kolok” and Kong – they are the owner and his sidekick, not police.
Talking of which there were a lot of skimmers in the news this week. From Bangkok to Chiang Mai, Belorussia to Ukraine with a few Chinamen thrown in for good measure, they were all at it. Seriously, the old ATM card would be safer with the missus.
Not only were they reading card data at the machines but thieving cashiers at an unnamed big department store were getting in on the act passing on our credit card details to the eastern Europeans. So I’d like to know what was the name of the store? With all those thieving gents surely not Robbin’ sons.
Improvements in monastic behavior noted last week stalled rather with news of a krathom tea party at a temple in the south. They said they were novices – nonsense, they admitted they had been at it for ages. Others in Ubon were doing Ya Ba no doubt interested in the news that no less than the justice minister is recommending decriminalizing the drug. What? No! That would be a complete disaster for Thaivisa – how on earth will they fill their news pages.
Not doing drugs but doing my head in were the monks in Mae Sot in the north-west who kindly showed an eleven year old boy the way of enlightenment by beating him unconscious for starting a fire. I went to a funeral recently and THEY lit a fire so why blame the poor little nipper.
He could have done with a bit of temple protection which continues to be available to the alleged chief thief up at Wat Dhammakaya. Thursday’s standoff up in Pathum Thani just beggared belief as the misguided monk’s followers protected the wanted embezzler.
Last word on drugs is the two ganja busts in Isaan; some students showed that the Thai education system is turning out the entrepreneurs of tomorrow as they attempted to post, yes post, 400 kilos of grass to Bangkok. If that wasn’t funny the face on the fall guy in another bust caught with 1000 kilos was priceless – especially when compared with the 50 cops behind him in the photo all grinning happily as the mastermind got away again.
In political news, prime minister Prayut was a tad shocked when a woman, of all things, got a bit close to him. The woman was burbling something about suffering mind control so no wonder the general was interested. Fortunately the science ministry assured us next day that mind control was not possible or at least there was “no credible proof”. Incredible more like. I wonder if attitude adjustment is really possible or just a figment of their imagination.
Murderers had a mixed week with two lots apprehended and two banged to rights. Those who got away to slaughter innocent people another day were the pair on a motorbike in Chiang Mai who went to a garage to fill up – sadly not their bikes but the body of a 34 year old woman with a dozen bullets from their M16. Her current boyfriend, unusually, was not involved – he was too busy running for his life. The ex, however, may have something to tell police about what happened.
Also escaping was the man or men who broke into a building site office in Lat Krabang. Perhaps the site manager was not playing ball, either way he was dispatched with a baseball bat and left in the proverbial pool of red sauce. Sherlocks figured he just may have had a conflict with someone.
Actually caught was the deranged man who proved the old adage that two heads are better than one by cutting off his neighbor’s bonce before decapitating his blind mother and putting both heads in a bucket. Sadly police nabbed him without further bloodshed.
Also now in irons is the gang of apprentices who killed a soldier on Tuesday in the street in Bangkok. Police did a good job to round them up quickly then put the icing on the cake with a touching ceremony on Friday. With a policeman playing the corpse four of the youths, ones who were old enough to know what they had done, were pictured with incense and lotus buds by the side of the road praying for forgiveness in their motorcycle helmets. Sincerity thy name is Siam.
With the lynching mob of relatives kept at bay the reenactment ended with the police going back to the station for their tea money..sorry, their tea. The young hoodlums will hopefully spend a few decades in stir eating “joke”, otherwise known as Thai porridge
Yes, the police had an assured week and could be happy that a nasty piece of work who claimed to be one of their number was just an imposter. After a near miss at an intersection he jumped out of his car brandishing a gun and threatened the other motorist who was filming with a hidden dash cam.
The subsequent and nowadays obligatory Facebook posting showed the road-rager yelling “I’m Sergeant Joe’ that’s who I am. He then said “And if it was nighttime I’d shoot you and dump you”. Police confirmed that he was just a thug – with an attitude like that how on earth could he have possibly been a copper……jeez.
Finally to construction – while country roads continued to collapse due to lots of water as well as the lack of it, there was a much more amusing example of Thai ingenuity in engineering in Nonthaburi. A footbridge was under construction and the workers had decided to incorporate what looked like a billion watt power pole dangling with wires into the design….in the middle of the steps going up.
There were extenuating circumstances, but amid all his problems abroad rocker Jimmy Page was probably having a laugh at the headline for what would await anyone foolish enough to use the bridge:
It just had to be didn’t it, a “Stairway to Heaven”
-- 2016-06-19