Indie Book Promo is happy to welcome Alana Munro to the blog! She’s here to answer some of our questions, and to share some information about her book, Women Behaving Badly. If this book sounds like something that you would be interested in reading, find buy links below.
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IBP – If someone else wrote a blurb about your book what would it say?
Alana – Alana Munro has experienced a ridiculous amount of bullying, passive aggression, power games, bitching and hissy fits all from the ‘fairer sex’.
In her debut book, Munro dives head first into toxic behaviours that some women can subject their girlfriends to. Munro argues that these negative behaviours can be destructive to a woman’s self-esteem, relationships and wellbeing. It’s too easy to allow these dangerous friends deep into our world, therefore women need to be more selective. Munro helps us weed out the bad friends and plant some healthier friends.
This book highlights the toxic behaviours to look out for to avoid emotional pain and also helps the reader assess their own friendships. Are you a good friend? Do you have a toxic friend in your life? Are your friendships genuine?
Munro also shares many deeply personal stories about her own experiences with females throughout her life so far. Read on to be amazed and shocked by tales of 40 year old mothers throwing tantrums, university students manipulating friends and much more.
You won’t be disappointed. Munro has experienced it all and she’s dishing the dirt on these badly behaved women. Toxic women disguised as friendsnow have nowhere to hide, all their hideous games will be revealed.
IBP – Tell me a little about yourself
Alana – I am a mummy to three lovely little men, one puppy (who is more work than my three boys – yes really!) and I am married to a great guy. The kids have always been my number one focus. In recent years I have decided to push my identity in a new and creative direction – hence the writing. It’s been great for my mental sanity to have something for me.
IBP – State a random fact about yourself that would surprise your readers.
Alana – My last baby was determined to be born! He decided to make quite the entrance into the world 3 weeks early. I was in the drive way, ready to go to hospital and I said to my friend, ‘Nope, we can’t make it, baby is coming now!’ So I waddled back inside, pushed and within minutes the baby was in my arms. My husband was desperately trying to get back from work but baby was just so fast! My body went into complete shock (what just happened?) and our baby was a little bit blue but he came to life. It was exciting but scary!
IBP – If you wouldn’t be a writer, what you would be?
Alana – I’d love to work in a library or a dusty little bookstore. Or completely different – perhaps a counsellor. I did think about doing teaching but I am not so sure anymore. I do seem to gain more energy from quieter, peaceful surroundings. There’s still plenty time to decide! I work really well on my own, I can motivate myself to work away all day long. When I was little I wanted to be a zoo keeper. I’d probably still like that as I love animals.
IBP – What were the challenges in bringing this book to life?
Alana – This book was difficult simply because it is touchy subject. I didn’t know how it would be received. Would I have women jumping to the defence of all other women? Thankfully not, most women felt relieved they are not alone in their often invisible struggles with other females. It is important to remember that this book is not attacking women or assuming that all women behave badly. My book is highlighting what can go on between some women and what has happened to me personally.
IBP – Could you describe to us your typical writing day?
Alana – Once my older kids are at school and my toddler is having a nap I can get cracking. Now really I should be putting a washing on and cleaning the bathrooms but that’s no fun! I have been known to sit for 8 hour spells forgetting to take a break – this can only happen at a weekend when my husband can look after the kids. I must remember to pace myself but it is thrilling to come up with new ideas and write them down. Most days I can write for about 2 hours and then I can write for a little while at night.
IBP – Where do you get your inspiration?
Alana – I am inspired by my own life, by my experiences, by my life lessons, by other people and how they behave. I am fascinated by people and how they think and behave. I gain so much inspiration from studying people and considering my own life. I think it is a good idea to write about what I am passionate about. I am passionate about people treating each other with respect. I am passionate about raising awareness about bullying and abuse. I am passionate about helping people find their own voice. Through my passions, I can write from the heart.
IBP – What book is currently on your nightstand?
Alana – I have a lot of different books but the one I am reading right now is, Generations – Baby Boomers, their parents and their children by Hugh Mackay.
I adore books that study people, explore attitudes, and examine what shapes us as people. I got it for $2 out of a charity shop and I still can’t believe what I bargain I found.
IBP – How important do you find the communication between you and your readers? Do you reply to their messages or read their reviews?
Alana – It is very important. I always try my best to reply to every email or message I receive from readers. I am always interested in reading reviews too as they are helpful. It is interesting how different people gain different experiences from reading the same book. It interests me how readers feel after reading my words. I always love to read emails from readers saying my words validated their hurt or made them feel less alone. That is great to read! So yes I am acutely aware that an author is pretty much lost without readers and so my readers are very important to me.
IBP – Have you ever Googled yourself?
Alana – Yes I have! I thought, let’s see how my website is going? Does it show on Google? It does and it is going well!
IBP – What projects are you currently working on right now? Would you mind sharing them with us?
Alana – I am planning my second book. It will include many of my reader’s personal stories of women behaving badly towards them. I am still open to contributors so simply go to my website and hit a contact form if you wish to star in my next book, or you can remain anonymous if you prefer.http://alanamunroauthor.com/
I am busy on my website featuring authors, poets, artists and other creative souls. I truly believe in supporting creative people and exposing emerging talent.
I also run an online community called Support-a-Writer over on Google+, the group has over 400 active members. It’s a really unique group of writers, poets and bloggers doing all we can to support each other. Feel free to join us! Again, all information can be found on my website.
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Alana Munro lives in Australia with her husband, 3 kids and their puppy. Born in Scotland, she acquired a Bachelor of Arts degree from an Edinburgh University before jumping head first into motherhood. Alana spends much of her days trying to ignore the ever expanding pile of dirty washing, trying to write, counting down the hours till it is ‘wine o’clock’ (5pm is a respectable hour for a shiraz?) and sipping on camomile tea that’s went cold – again.
Initially Alana started writing articles and blogging. Through her early work she reconnected with her love of words. After two L-O-N-G years, two house moves and new baby added to the mix - Alana’s debut book, Women Behaving Badly was finally published in 2013.
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Synopsis: What’s the book about?
Have you ever been hurt by a woman? Are you fed up with the constant bitching, gossiping and manipulation between the females in your life? Do you want happier and healthier relationships with females? Do you wish to weed out the toxic women and seek out only positive women?
If you have ever wondered why some women are complicated creatures this book will offer you straight talking answers. This book will highlight all the strange, controlling and spiteful behaviours that some females specialise in. This book attempts to understand what actually drives women to be cruel or bitchy to each other. It attempts to make sense of the huge expectations women place on each other. How can you avoid toxic women? What bad behaviours should you be looking out for? This book explores every cruel behaviour possible and attempts to understand what is really going on between the females in your life.
More about ‘Women Behaving Badly’,
Alana Munro takes us deep into the unnerving yet compelling reality of being a woman, revealing a world where females don’t nurture other females. Sharing many deeply personal and shocking tales about bullying, bitching, gossiping, power games, jealousy and much more – Alana explains what each hurtful episode taught her about females.
Women Behaving Badly shatters our assumption that all women are loving. It ruptures the delusion of sisterhood. It heightens your awareness of what goes on behind the sweet smiles. It liberates women from the emotional and often difficult prison that is womanhood. It exposes the harsh and fickle reality of friendship between women.
This book offers us nothing but the truth. Alana argues that the bonds between women are most often too fragile. She also argues that the ideology of sisterhood is optimistic but unrealistic. Women are not superior to men in their personal relations, women are simply human beings with emotional short comings.
Alana also looks at how you can weed out the negative women, pin point suspect behaviours and most importantly how to protect yourself from future hurt.
This book is not written by a psychologist who has studied her clients, this book is from the heart. It is a normal everyday woman’s compelling story of her own personal struggles, and often disturbing experiences with the females she has encountered.
“The easiest thing to do is for me to feel upset and retreat to my bed, never trying to make another friend. Or I can dust myself off and learn from my stupid mistakes. I can even try to make sense of the ridiculous injustices thrown in my direction. My goal for this book? Simply to allow other women a chance to become more aware of the cruel games played by some females, allow women the opportunity to pin point hurtful (and often invisible) behaviours and find healthy friendships again”. Alana Munro.
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Alana can be found:
Google+ * Twitter * Blog
Women Behaving Badly can be purchased
Amazon.com * Amazon.co.uk * Barnes & Noble
The eBook will be available at all major online book stores from Summer 2013, with plans to expand into indie book stores and libraries with hard copies of the book.
*** For a limited time the KINDLE book is only 99 cents!
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Excerpt:
Intensity
There is something intense and disturbing about the way some women conduct friendships.
Women like to get under your skin. Women like to be central in your life and central in your thoughts. Women have a strong need to connect with each other.
The desire for a connection is a normal, healthy desire. We all hope to be understood, to be accepted, to be loved for who we are.
It is a beautiful experience when your friend loves you warts and all, come rain or shine. No matter what happens, she unconditionally loves you and accepts you. In her company, you feel reassured, relaxed and supported. They have our back and they really ‘get’ us. They understand us. They know us and we know them. It feels good to be appreciated and cherished.
However, in some instances, the intensity can be suffocating.
Sometimes women mistake intensity for close friendship, when, in fact, it is not a friendship; it is simply her control and her power over you that you are experiencing. If she loses her power over you, you will risk ejection from her life. There is nothing accepting or unconditional about this kind of intense friendship.
What’s the problem with this intense friendship?
Her expectations of you are enormously high. She believes your friendship, your time, your love are her right, her entitlement. She has invested time in you; you must invest time in her or she will effortlessly detach from your life without so much of a flinch. All loving memories of your time together will be forgotten. You have not met her emotional needs; you’re dumped, sister.
With intensity and closeness come obligations and expectations. For some women to feel secure and happy in their friendships, they need constant emotional preening and constant praise. They will demand your full attention. She must be number one in your mind. She doesn’t care if you have just had a major operation or had a baby. She needs your attention and she needs it pronto!
They demand that you are part of all social events. It can become like a premier football team. If you slow down and can’t keep up with the training schedule, then you won’t make the team. You’re a slacker. For God’s sake – just work through your injury!
They decide that you just don’t care enough. You don’t pull your weight and make the effort. They can always find another woman who is willing to meet their desires, needs or demands. They can always find another vulnerable soul who is blinded and seduced by their smile and charm. There is always another woman who is only too happy to please her.
The reality of female friendships is actually very simple – women expect far too much from each other.
Their expectations upon their female friends are enormous. You must be her confident, her everything, her life blood. You must be there for her and always be willing to help and support her.
A woman demands, expects or desires deep and meaningful emotional support from her female friendships.
Men don’t expect much from their friendships at all.
The word to really focus on here is expectation.
Men have a much easier time.
They have very little expectations of each other.
A man will not ‘be there’ for a close friend from one year to the next. He will become a father, he will go through a rocky patch with his health, and he will lose his job. His friend will call him out of the blue years down the line and they will joke and laugh as if they just spoke yesterday.
He does not need his friend to hold him up or support him. He does not expect anything from his friend. Perhaps it would be nice to have a supportive mate, but it’s just not ‘manly’ to bitch and moan about a friend. And anyway, he is delighted to hear an old familiar voice after the bad times he has had.
He holds no grudge, no bitterness about what his friend has missed in his life. In the big picture – it is really no big deal. They’re talking now and having a laugh!
Men might not be perfect at many things in life, but they certainly know how to keep their friendships intact and going long-term. In fact, they are masters at maintaining long-term friendships. They do not dissect their friendships, they do not over analyse. They do not expect much at all.
Isn’t that refreshing? Perhaps women could learn something from the guys? Instead of women thinking they are experts in the friendship field, maybe – just maybe – the men have got the right approach?
Consider this.
When men make new friends and hang out with old friends, they rarely get too personal.
They have no desire to offload or express their deepest, darkest feelings. Men are masters at keeping a safe and respectful emotional distance from other men.
*** And one more sample – this sample shows one of the many true stories about how females can behave towards each other. This story is from the chapter about Jealousy.
A boy fancied me in school. He asked me out on a date and I took him up on his offer. I didn’t fancy him, but I thought I’d give him a chance and maybe I’d find out he’s a nice guy. I decided not to date him again. After all, I was only 16. I had plenty of time to have boyfriends and he wasn’t really my cup of tea.
The trouble was there was a girl in my year who fancied him. He didn’t fancy her. He was a free agent. When she found out I had went on this one date with him, she and her friends tormented me and made my daily life at school a living hell. They wrote on the toilets, naming me a slag, a slut, a bitch, a tart. They shouted at me, sneered, spat and ridiculed me. They stood outside my classrooms swearing and glaring at me. They launched an active campaign to break my spirit and self-esteem, but most of all, they tried to destroy my reputation. I was a virgin, but their slander was changing people’s perceptions without a doubt. I was made to feel like a leper.
No other girl wanted to be seen with me. I’d try to approach a group of girls and they’d huddle together, shunning me as if I was a dangerous beast. None of those girls dared to look me in the eyes. They all believed the propaganda. No one questioned it. No one stood up for me and told them to leave me alone. Not one person in my year wanted to know where all this targeted hate and persecution was coming from and why.
I’d spend my lunch breaks on my own, often by a railway bridge. I thought, This could all end now, this hell could all end. I just need to jump off this bridge. But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t do it to the poor train driver, I couldn’t do it to my family and I was too stubborn to allow these girls to take my life. They had my present. They had my present in their hands and they were crushing the very life out of me. But they wouldn’t take my future. I wouldn’t allow it.
I’d walk back to school just before the end of lunch bell rang out. My heart beating, my hands and legs shaking, trying to hide the fear, trying to hold it all together for one more day. When would it end? Would they ever become bored of these cruel games? Would they never tire of tormenting me? How can these girls enjoy threatening me quite so much?
As time went on, the bullying showed no sign of stopping; it had become their daily habit like a cup of coffee or a morning jog. I couldn’t live in fear anymore. I didn’t deserve to be treated like this. I walked straight to the school office and quietly asked to see the school headmaster. I politely asked the ladies at the school office if they could please help me. I told them I was desperate and I must talk with the principal. They must have seen the torment creeping out from my red eyes or they must have seen my hands tremble. They told me to come into their office and sit down. Their compassion caused me to cry a little, but I had to stay strong. I needed to be able to explain what was going on. Thankfully, the principal was a good man and could see what was going on. “These girls,” he said, “have a terrible case of jealousy and it will stop. I promise you, Alana.” The bullying only stopped when he excluded the ring leader.
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