Those who truly know what is meant by the stare of a narcissist have lived through it at some point in their lives . The full impact cannot be captured even by the best actor. It goes right through you and will stop you in your tracks for two reasons. One is the visual nature alone and the other is because the stare usually coincides with an episode of rage. After a while, the psychological impact is likely a conditioned response as it becomes all too common, behind closed doors and leaves the recipient (often a child) with nowhere to turn.
Though covert narcissists often do their psychological damage behind closed doors, when it comes to the “stare” it can be done in broad daylight and have the same affect. How this form of body language becomes so powerful is truly amazing and most would not understand. It is the result of years of control , at such a level , that the behavior is not even questioned. Essentially, the victim is left feeling guilty until proven innocent. Sadly, for most, the proving of innocence never comes and hence the emotional scarring of unresolved quilt and shame becomes deep-rooted.
The stare of a narcissist can come on in a moments notice often triggered by a comment or situation that threatens their frail ego. The narcissist has no ability to see a situation as a continuum , and thus their response is all good or all bad. If it is bad, watch out , as there is nothing at that moment that governs the ensuing behavior .
This is a post you may not find many places as it is not talked about. The fear elicited by the stare of a narcissist falls under the category of “you wouldn’t understand” if one was to try and discuss it with a friend or family member. Actually, in my case , family members who are unwilling to assert themselves and rather choose to enable the ongoing emotional abuse.
So for some this post about the stare of a narcissist may be eye-opening and for others who have lived it so long the feeling may simply be “so what else is new”. Either way, it is not just an individual’s perception that can be discredited by the perpetrator or enablers. It is real and understandably very disturbing to those who cannot escape it.
TCMD