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One of the greatest acts of self-love is setting healthy boundaries for yourself. This is something I struggled with my whole life and, honestly, still continue to learn. I have learned a lot from my own experiences and through my studies of A Course in Miracles and the chakras with Belinda Davidson. Through a really fierce commitment to being self-aware and curious about yourself, you can create a more empowered you. So, let’s talk about four powerful ways in which you can learn to set those healthy boundaries!
WITNESS & DELETE YOUR POOR BOUNDARY PATTERNS
So, where does your inability to set good boundaries come from? Well, it can vary for many people. But, for most of us, it stems from childhood. Think back to your own childhood. Did you ever craft an identity that you thought would be acceptable to your peers and/or your family instead of marching to the beat of your intuitive drum? If you answered yes (be honest, babe), then that is an example of setting shitty boundaries.
Something that you have carried over into your current life experience is feeling like you need to act how other people act in order to feel loved. But that robs you of your personal identity and takes you farther away from knowing yourself. Take some time today to write out all the ways that you can remember in which you set poor energetic boundaries for yourself. List out the ways in which you crafted that false identity. Let honesty lead the way.
TRUST YOUR FEELINGS
Your feelings will always tell you whether your personal boundaries have been violated. What gets people tripped up isn’t their feelings but their inability to trust their feelings. When people (especially sensitive souls like you) don’t have that tangible, physical proof of whether their feelings are actually clear guidance, they cave and stifle their truth. They have an inability to trust in their own power and their own feelings. And so, they feel like it’s easier to stay quiet and ignore their feelings than it is to create potential conflict and follow their feelings.
Here’s the deal: You can’t deny your feelings without experiencing a decreased sense of happiness. This is why people who have poor boundaries feel powerless and unhappy a lot of the time. It is your responsibility to let your feelings be your guidepost and to trust in them, regardless of whether you feel like *know* that they’re right or not and regardless of what conflict you may or may not create.
HONOR YOUR SENSITIVITY
When you’re sensitive and aren’t aware of how to set healthy boundaries, you think that the only way to help people is to enmesh yourself in their problems. You think that, by being an energetic sponge and taking on people’s energy and problems, you are helping them. NO. NO. NO. When you do this, you end up feeling energetically drained and emotionally confused because you’ve taken on other people’s energy. You find it really difficult to express yourself because you can’t understand what you’re feeling.
When you become an energetic sponge, people can become addicted to dumping their problems onto you. You give people a temporary emotional high, taking away their problems until another situation pops up that triggers the same discomfort to arise in them, at which point they come running to you to take it away again. Sound familiar? 
It is super important for you to honor that you are sensitive but also refuse to enmesh yourself in other people’s problems all the time. You are not an energetic sponge!
CLEANSE YOUR ENERGY
What I learned from Belinda Davidson is that the hub of this issue really stems from your solar plexus chakra. This is the chakra that helps you have healthy boundaries and, therefore, healthy self-esteem. When this chakra is balanced, you are confident. You know yourself. And you aren’t afraid to ruffle some feathers in the name of standing in your truth. If you want to really get this chakra working and humming, I recommend two things: committing to my Meditation for Self-Confidence and, if you want to go even deeper, then get your pretty ass on the waitlist for School of the Modern Mystic.
And finally, I want to leave you with this very important side note: Healthy boundaries aren’t about building walls around yourself. They’re about building doorways of love around your energy field. Boundaries are not meant to separate you from other people. They’re meant to build doorways for you to attract the right people into your life.
All my love,
Heather
P.S. – Did you see the new FREE meditation guide I made for you? It’s (ahem, gorgeous) and will ROCK your world! Get it here.
P.P.S – If you dig this post and know a soul sister who would dig it too, be the light worker that you are and pass it along to her.
The post Empower Yourself: Set Healthy Boundaries! appeared first on Heather Waxman.