Codependency is a much more common problem than what had been gauged when it was first regarded as a psychological and personality disorder. Despite being very common, codependency is still not talked about as much as it deserves. It is likely that everyone in the country knows at least one person who is codependent. Those who are victims of codependency often don’t realize that they are being codependent and that the condition can ruin their life and all chances of true joy and prosperity.
There are many forms of codependency. Initially, when codependency was first defined about four decades back, the condition pertained to marital relationships which had one spouse addicted to alcohol or drugs. Over time, there have been numerous cases of non-marital relationships and non-alcoholic cases of codependency as well. Codependency can seep into a family, between siblings, cousins, the relationships of parents and kids, friends, social circles, coworkers, bosses and employees and neighbors. Strange relationships develop without a person being aware of the strangeness or the relationship that has shaped up.
Defining Codependency
Before you explore the various codependency treatment strategies, you need to know what codependency actually is.
Codependency is a state or condition of a person that is characterized by low self esteem, no personal goals or ambitions, hypersensitivity, denial of personal problems, a complete failure to attend to oneself and complete dedication to the welfare of the other person in the said relationship. In every way, the other person, their needs and desires, welfare and shortcomings, define the codependent person. In a way, the codependent person ceases to exist or live as an individual, as someone who has a life of his or her own and that there is more in the world than that one relationship and that one person. A person suffering from codependency will be immune to attention or the lack of it, would feel guilty and also responsible for the suffering of the other person, will be cocooned and shall not let their true feelings find any vent and the emotions may also be suppressed to an extent that they don’t have any breathing space at all, would always want to please the other person and everyone associated with that person, shall be helpless and ashamed of oneself and would have the innate need to take care of everything around even if it is beyond one’s control.
Codependency is most common when a person is in some kind of a relationship with another person who is a drug addict, alcoholic, narcissist, histrionic, serial abuser or suffering from some condition which may be curable or incurable, health related or otherwise.
Codependency Treatment Strategies
There are many types of codependency treatment strategies. Each therapist has his or her own unique approach. There are some standards however such as self care, support group, intervention, resolution through counseling and follow up with a changed perspective of life, individuality, relationship and world in general.
Self care is usually the first step of all codependency treatment strategies; albeit it comes after the initial counseling or intervention. One of the first realizations that self care has to induce in the mind of the codependent person is that he or she is important and is not a nonexistent or ill-deserving person. A codependent person starts to believe that he or she deserves to be unhappy, uncared for and they somehow don’t deserve to have a better life. They even stop dreaming or craving for a better life. They become content with codependency. Such is the extent of psychological impact that codependency has on a person. Through series of consultative therapies, a person suffering from codependency is made to realize that he or she is not to be undervalued, that they are important and can do better in life, only if they want to do so. Also, acceptance of codependency has to be the preceding step to this. Self care would be futile if the person suffering from codependency is still living in denial.
Through support group and intervention, which are common codependency treatment strategies, a person’s perspective towards life is changed. The support group may often be of codependents and the family or a group of friends may also be a part of it outside the therapy sessions. Support from family and friends, is regarded as quintessential in the treatment process, regardless of the type of psychological disorder one has. Having a new perspective towards life and seeing the world from a fresh set of eyes that is not codependent is the first step to believing that there is more to be explored and being confined to the codependent relationship is neither virtuous nor healthy.
Codependency treatment strategies are often tweaked based on the requisite of a case. Some people wish to end their codependent relationships and find a new life. Some wish to mend the relationship instead of ending it. Some people wish to find a life of their own while being in the codependent relationship without fixing the relationship but remedying codependency.
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