2015-10-04



Mature woman in bed, Ronneby, Blekinge, Sweden

As many as a third of Americans suffer from chronic pain—a full third! If you’re one of those people for whom low back pain, headaches, arthritis, or one of a long list of other conditions makes daily life a struggle, these nine experiences probably ring way too true.

1. Getting up in the morning is no joke.

And not just in the turn that freaking alarm off! kind of way. For people with chronic pain, it can be physically difficult, says chronic pain speaker, author, and activist Jenni Prokopy, founder of ChronicBabe.com, a website devoted to teaching women to live well in spite of illness. When Prokopy, who has fibromyalgia and other chronic illnesses, says everything hurts when she wakes up in the morning, she really means everything. “My feet, my arms, my shoulders, my neck, and my back have an overwhelming feeling of pain, and every step that I take hurts,” she says. “It’s a challenge every day to get out of bed and take on the day.”

2. Seams haunt your dreams.

Ever feel like you have nothing to wear? Try eliminating anything in your wardrobe that has seams or elastic banding. With some illnesses, such as fibromyalgia, the pain can be so bad that even the side seams on pants or an elastic waistband pressing into the skin can exacerbate the problem, shares Prokopy. “Some days it’s a challenge to figure out what outfit I can wear and still be appropriate for what I need to do that day,” she says. On her most painful days, Prokopy opts for loose-fitting flowy dresses and tops, loose bras, and shoes that are “especially great for pain days.”

3. Demoralized is an understatement.

People with chronic pain are more likely to suffer from depression than others (take our depression quiz now to see if you’re at risk), and, soberingly, the risk of suicide nearly doubles in patients with chronic pain, says pain specialist Paul J. Christo, an associate professor at the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine and host of the radio show Aches and Gains. Studies show that patients with chronic pain are at a greater risk for thinking about, attempting, and committing suicide. “[Chronic pain] can make you feel demoralized,” Christo says. “You lose the ability to work, to socialize, to exercise, to do things that make life worth living.”

Chronic pain can also make symptoms of an existing depression diagnosis worse. That’s why working with a therapist who understands the needs of chronic pain patients can be key to maintaining your mental health, says Prokopy. “When pain is elevated and goes on day after day, it really eats away at your confidence and your belief that everything will be OK,” she says. “I have days I’m convinced this is how I’m going to feel the rest of my life.”

4. Sleep is hard to come by.

Sleep can have a huge impact on chronic pain symptoms, and vice versa. The symptoms can make it really hard to fall asleep and have a good, restful sleep, says Peter Abaci, medical director of the Bay Area Pain and Wellness Center in Los Gatos, CA, and author of Take Charge of Your Chronic Pain: The Latest Research, Cutting-Edge Tools, and Alternative Treatments for Feeling Better. This leads to poor energy during the day and the inability to engage during the day, he says.

For Prokopy, practicing good sleep hygiene doesn’t just feel nice—it’s essential. Her nightly rituals include meditation and breathing exercises, lavender essential oils to help her relax, taking sleep medication, wearing earplugs, keeping the bedroom at just the right temperature, having extra-soft sheets, and not looking at electronic screens for 30 minutes before bed. “A lot of people say to me, ‘I try to do it.’ But for me, I do it, there’s no trying,” she says. “If I don’t do them, I’m hosed.” (Check out these 5 ways to sleep better no matter how much your joints hurt.)

5. Doing chores can wipe you out for days.

Many people with chronic pain don’t like to admit that they can no longer do everything on their to-do list in a single day, says Abaci. They’ll often try to get a lot done in a short period of time, but then feel wiped out and in a lot of pain for the next few days, and figuring out how much is too much is a steep learning curve. “They often go through these ups and downs in activity level, overdoing it, getting flared up, and not knowing how to pace activities so they don’t have down days,” he says.

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6. Focus? You want me to focus?

Christo finds that many of his pain patients have trouble concentrating. The pain can become all-encompassing, making it difficult to focus on other things they may want to do, such as reading, exercising, or even having a conversation, he says. “You can’t forget it because it’s there all the time.”

7. Having sex is a tall order.

While some types of pain, such as pelvic floor pain, obviously make it difficult to maintain sexual intimacy with your partner, even nerve pain in your foot or chronic headaches can take a toll on your sex life.

It’s not just the loss of sexual intimacy that causes a strain on relationships, however. Significant others are often tasked with driving to multiple doctor’s appointments, often having to take off work to do so, or taking their loved one to the emergency room because her pain isn’t being adequately treated. Ultimately, chronic pain limits pleasurable time together, says Christo. “Significant others, I think, are tolerant initially, but after the course of 6 months to a year or longer than that, it can be extremely trying to remain patient and supportive and loving,” he says.

8. If you don’t look sick, people might not believe you are.

Unlike some conditions, pain is invisible, says Christo, leaving many people with chronic pain feeling like they’re suffering all alone or like people don’t believe them. “It’s not like you have a scab,” he says. “You can see someone wearing a cast or a brace, but pain is internal. It’s inside the brain, the spinal cord, the body, and people can’t see it.” Feeling misunderstood can be disappointing and aggravating, says Christo. “I think it leads to a lot of anger on the part of the person who does have pain.”

9. Your friends probably don’t understand—and that’s OK.

Chronic pain is something you need to feel in order to fully understand it. Even your most well-intentioned and supportive friends probably won’t really get it, says Prokopy, and you can’t necessarily expect them to. “I have friends who have never had a headache and I love them dearly, but they have no idea what my life is like,” she says.

What does matter is that your friends don’t judge you if you need to cancel plans on them, and that they try to understand what you’re going through, says Prokopy. “It makes you watch your time and who you spend your time with,” she says. “You make choices, set stronger boundaries. There are times I’ve had to say, ‘People just aren’t getting it, they don’t understand me, they don’t want to understand me, and I can’t waste my time on them.’ “

The post Things Only Someone With Chronic Pain Understands appeared first on Healthapta.

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