My relationship with Tequila is similar to almost all Americans…intimidating and painful. Twenty years have passed since I first met Tequila, and while I have gotten back together with Tequila a few times, I have never really forgiven Tequila. The few times in the last twenty years that I returned to Tequila, naively believing that Tequila had changed his ways, I would inevitably end up alone, jilted, in a dusty parking lot throwing up, or wake up the next morning with my head on fire…Tequila MIA…remembering all the reasons I broke up with Tequila to begin with. Tequila and I were in a toxic relationship.
I am not alone, Tequila is quite the “Player” and earned a bad reputation with many Americans. But it turns out that Tequila’s bad reputation is not really his fault…he was set up. The makers and producers of Tequila have failed (perhaps on purpose) at every mark to educate the Gringo about Tequila, they stand by while we obliviously “shoot” bad Tequila and unknowingly chase away the gasoline taste with a lime and salt.
They stand by, laughing as we order the most inferior Tequila possible at a bar, never correcting our error. They stand by and allow us (again…perhaps on purpose), to believe that Jose Cuervo or Patron is as good as it gets. They stand by and allow us to believe that Mezcal is Tequila, and that the word “Gold” means a better quality rather than what it really means: gold food coloring added to Blanco Tequila. So here we are in 2015, still misunderstanding this moody and complex drink, and continuing to embarrass ourselves at the bar.
Well no more: after working and living in Mexico’s capitol city for over a year, I have done something I thought never possible, I have fallen in love this drink, and I didn’t just get used to it, or make peace with it. No, Tequila is actually really good, there is a whole lot going on in this drink. Tequila is not, and was never meant to be mixed or taken as a “shot”, but rather enjoyed and imbibed in like a fine Whiskey or Scotch. As the newly self-appointed Tequila Ambassador, I want to take this opportunity to educate us Gringos about Tequila. Tequila is splendid and this is how to drink it:
What is Tequila?
In order to really answer this question, we must first declare what Tequila is not. Tequila is not Mezcal…period. Yes Mezcal is made from 7-8 different species of cactus similar to the Blue Agave, but in all reality the cactus used to make Tequila has a completely different taste. Mezcal is also complicated and good in its own right, but it is not Tequila. Thinking you’re ordering Tequila when you order Mezcal is like thinking you’re ordering a fine Russian Vodka, when you are really ordering Kentucky Moonshine.
Who makes Tequila?
Mexicans make it, but specifically professional Farmers and Distillers (Maestros/as Tequilero/as) in the state of Jalisco and the town of Tequila make it, and no one else. Just as there are laws that govern the production and selling of French Champaign, Bordeaux wine, and Peruvian Pisco, there are also strict Mexican laws that govern where Tequila must be made and who must make it in order for it to be called Tequila. It must be made in Jalisco to be called Tequila, and it must be made from the Blue Agave cactus.
How is Tequila made?
It is made from the Blue Agave cactus and nothing else; no other cactus. The Blue Agave is not just any old Agave. It grows optimally in Jalisco Mexico in the rich and sandy soil of the 5000ft Sierra. Its core or Pina is harvested in it twelfth year (not a day prior) to produce Tequila. Tequila. This unique core or Pina contains high levels of natural sugars, specifically natural Fructose. This high sugar content mixed with its botanical characteristics make for a perfect storm in the Tequila distillation process.
Levels of Tequila
This is where most Gringos go off the rails, and end up praying for mercy as they kneel in front of a toilet bowl. Like almost all other spirits, there have always been levels of quality when it comes to Tequila. Pancho Villa, flush with Pesos was definitely not drinking Tequila Blanco as he was riding and pillaging across Mexico. Not too long ago, there were generally three levels of Tequila: Blanco, Reposado, and Anejo. However, Tequila producers have recently created two new ones: Extra Anejo and Ultra. Each level is aged and distilled differently, using different materials.
Blanco or white”: Blanco is the least aged; Tequila at this level is bottled directly after distillation or no later than 4 weeks. If it is aged at all, it is done so in a stainless steel container. This is Tequila in its most pure form. It is botanical, strong, and the alcohol taste is overbearing. Make a Margarita with Blanco, or better, just use it to light the charcoal in your Weber…in short; skip it.
Reposado or “rested”: Tequila of this level is aged or rested in wood barrels or storage tanks for 2-11 months. Because it is aged in wood, the Tequila acquires a gold or light amber hue. The farmers of Jalisco use many different types of wood barrels to age “Reposado” Tequila. Most commonly they use American or French oak. However, more recently, many Tequilas are aged in used bourbon, whiskey, cognac, or wine barrels. These new aging techniques have produced some very complicated and interesting Tequilas. If you’re looking to pass around a great bottle of Tequila at a festive dinner with friends, choose Reposado. It is smoother than Blanco and good enough to drink neat, but won’t break the bank.
Anejo or “old”. Anejo Tequila must be aged for a minimum of one year in wood (French or American Oak) barrels that do not exceed 600 liters in volume. This process produces a Tequila that is a dark amber color containing flecks of gold and caramel. Like a fine Whiskey, Anejo Tequila is a very respectable and complicated spirit. At first taste you will delight in chocolate and spice notes (not kidding). Anejo will then level on your palate with apple spice, cherry, toffee, and rich vanilla notes. Drink Anejo Tequila with a fine cigar and for F sake, do not drink an Anejo Tequila on the rocks or in a shot glass.
Extra Anejo or “really old”: This aging process is relatively new and was introduced in 2006. Extra Anejo like Anejo must be aged in a barrel that does not exceed 600 liters. However Extra Anejo must be aged longer than three years and distilled water must be added to the Tequila after the aging process to lower the alcohol content. The final product is a very dark Mahogany colored Tequila. The color resembles a fine Whiskey. Extra Anejo is super smooth and complex. Extra Anejo is also meant to be sipped and savored.
Ultra: The newest way to distill and age Tequila is by redistilling it. Basically Tequileros/as take an Anejo Tequila and put it through the distilling process again (filter it through charcoal to remove its amber color). This results in an aged Tequila that resembles its Blanco cousin, but this is where all similarities stop. Ultra Tequila is smooth, the smoothest you have ever tasted. It is complicated, giving off pepper and citrus notes with the first taste, but then leveling off with cigar box, and vanilla notes. In short it is like a fine Whiskey or Scotch…epic. A glass of this stuff can set you back as much as forty bucks, but is worth it, and will change your life.
How to drink Tequila
Never with a lime, never with salt, always in a sipping glass (similar to a Cognac or Whiskey glass), and sometimes with a Sangria side (not a chaser, just a side). If you must have a Margarita choose a good Blanco or Reposado…but never waste a fine Anejo on a mixed drink or by placing it over ice.
For those who think I am full of s%&t
Well, I’m not, and I can prove it. The next time you go to a nice bar order sipping glasses of Blanco, Reposado, Anejo, and Ultra. Then place them side by side, smell them and look at them. Start with the Blanco, take a sip and put it down, don’t chase it with anything. Next pick up the Reposado and do the same. Next try the Anejo, and finally, take a knee, have a few chips and then take a sip of the Ultra. Put it down. If you do this you will know what I know: that Tequila is awesome, and you will never order it the same again.
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