School officials. Why don't they ever use common sense?
That was my thought as I read about a piece of legislation working its way through the General Assembly. Perhaps you too noticed the news brief in Tuesday's Pilot about HB720, a measure that would require all Virginia public schools to provide a clean, private, non-bathroom place for new mothers to express their breast milk while at work.
The law would also mandate that these moms be allowed "reasonable" breaks during the day to retire to these secluded lactation stations.
How did we get to this place? What kind of school principal doesn't help a new mom find a suitable place to pump breast milk?
No one wants female teachers turning to formula instead of breast milk. Or pumping away in class in front of the kids. But do we really need breast-feeding booths enshrined in Virginia law?
Much of the minutiae that lards up the Code of Virginia each session is rooted in a single act of bad behavior - behavior that lawmakers mistakenly believe can be corrected only by a new law.
The Pilot's news story said the bill's sponsor, Del. Jennifer McClellan of Richmond, cited one egregious example of new mother abuse to justify the bill. She claimed that an employee of an unnamed school was banished to a janitorial closet full of chemicals to express her breast milk.
Outrageous.
On Tuesday, I set out to unmask the Neanderthal who pulled this stunt. I wanted to find the school where this occurred so I could interview the person who callously sent a new mom to a toxic outpost to pump her baby's next meal.
Calls to McClellan's office were made and messages left. Unfortunately, the delegate was busy. Her legislative aide said she believed the bill was introduced at the behest of the Virginia Education Association.
Indeed, "employee lactation support programs" are part of the teachers' association's legislative wish list.
So I contacted the VEA.
After a few hours of searching, a spokesman there said he, too, was unable to pinpoint a specific instance of school officials behaving badly toward nursing mothers.
"What I can tell you is that the concern was brought to the VEA convention last year by delegates who were concerned that some teachers were either being told they could not have a reasonable time to pump or were given some alternative that wasn't appropriate," Communications Director John O'Neil said in an email.
O'Neil noted that some new mothers were reportedly being sent to places such as principals' offices where they worried someone would barge in.
Couldn't a "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door solve that problem? Isn't that a simpler solution than another new law?
He also mentioned that other mothers were reportedly relegated to locker rooms where they feared female students might intrude.
That's interesting. Especially in light of an amendment that was reported out of committee with the bill. The added language would expand the breast-feeding areas to accommodate - you guessed it - breast-feeding students, as well as adult employees.
Oh boy. Think of the unique bonding opportunities these teenage mothers and teachers will have as they chat about colic and diaper rash over the hum of their electric pumps.
If the bill passes with the amendment, we will no doubt see another breast-milk measure next year:
One that mandates separate lactation stations for employees and students.
You see, once laws take the place of common sense, there's no end to the legislating.
Kerry Dougherty, 757-446-2306, kerry.dougherty@cox.net,
PilotOnline.com/dougherty