Is professional wrestling the "Curb Your Enthusiasm" of sports?
Probably not.
But Titus O'Neil, one of the scheduled participants in Saturday's WWE Live event at Hampton Coliseum, doesn't dismiss the comparison out of hand, either.
"The outcome is predetermined, but how we get to that outcome is not," O'Neil said, comparing the sport to Larry David's improvisational HBO show "Curb."
"There's a lot more spontaneity than there is choreography in this business, because there's so many things that can change. There are just so many things that can go wrong that you kind of have to be able to think on your feet or be able to work with someone who can think on their feet, but the flexibility of our business means that it can always be corrected. Our job is to tell stories at car-crash speed. And that's what we do."
O'Neil, who began his WWE career in 2009, came into wrestling with a background in football, having played for the University of Florida from 1997 to 2000, followed by a four-year stint in the Arena Football League.
The decision to shift sports came as a result of one of his neighbors - four-time WWE World Heavyweight Championship winner Dave Batista - repeatedly telling him that he ought to give it a go.
"I used to be, like, 'No, I'm not doing it. I'm going into coaching; that's what I want to do,' " O'Neil said. "Dave, who's probably one of my best friends, was, like, 'But I really think you'd do well in it. You have the size and the charisma and the athleticism to do it.' But I just kept saying, 'No, I don't think it's for me.' "
O'Neil changed his mind when a drive through Tampa led him past the facilities of Florida Championship Wrestling, now known as WWE NXT.
"It was really just blind faith based on what Dave had been telling me, but I walked in and had about a 15-minute conversation with (trainer and former WWE wrestler) Steve Keirn about wrestling and trying out and stuff like that," said O'Neil. "It was only about 15 minutes after I finished talking to him and left that the WWE called me and said they wanted me to try out. They had a show that day, so I went and picked my kids up from school, and I asked them if they wanted to go to a wrestling match. The next thing you know, two weeks after that, Daddy's wrestling for the WWE."
O'Neil admits, however, that his two sons aren't quite as impressed with having a WWE superstar for a father as others are.
"Honestly, their friends get more of a kick out of it than they do," O'Neil said. "I might have one of the coolest jobs in the world, but when I come home, they see me washing clothes and doing laundry, taking them to class and helping them with homework. To them, I'm just Dad, you know?"
Although O'Neil has been part of the WWE family since 2009, he doesn't hesitate to describe the transition from football to professional wrestling as the hardest thing he's ever done.
"The difference isn't in the athleticism - if you're an athlete, you're an athlete - but just in the fact that it's such a completely different arena," O'Neil said. "In football, if I'm playing, say, defensive end, I know that, for 16 weeks out of the year, my job every week is to go and sack the quarterback.
"In wrestling, I'm on the road three to five days a week, traveling all over the world, and there's no off-season like there is in football. Each crowd is different, each match is different -or at least you try and make each match different - and each opponent is different. There are so many elements, some of which you have control of, some you don't. Ultimately, at the end of the day, the biggest thing that drives your career and the destiny of your character is the fans and their participation, interaction, and involvement."
As a result, O'Neil doesn't care if he's cheered or booed by the crowds, just as long as they react.
O'Neil certainly got a reaction in the wake of a food-eating contest during last year's Thanksgiving match, when he surprised everyone - including WWE Chairman & CEO Vince McMahon - by going above and beyond the script and vomiting on wrestling manager Zeb Colter.
"I guess that's something I can put under my belt: I can vomit on cue," O'Neil said, laughing. "Hey, our job is to entertain people, and I guess it entertained a lot of people.... There are a lot of people who want to hit Zeb Colter in the mouth on a regular basis, but me throwing up on him was just as good."
Will Harris, nonstoppop@cox.net