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Ande Lyons, Chief Passion Curator for Bring Back Desire.com, Shares With us Her Website And How to Bring Back Desire to Your Marriage
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Here at the Marriage section of The Good Men Project, we actively seek out folks across the world wide web who are doing fantastic things for men in marriage. Today, we interview Ande Lyons of Bring Back Desire. com about her website and how it helps men and women to be able to create a loving, sensual and intimate sexual relationship.
AA: What is Bring Back Desire?
AL: Bring Back Desire’s Mission: to help women around the world re-ignite their passion and desire… and achieve greater sexual fulfillment, intimacy and personal happiness.
Bring Back Desire is a playful, tasteful website where I provide tips, tools and resources for visitors seeking ways to rekindle passion, intimacy and arousal. I curate the ‘good stuff,’ and help women (with or without a partner) break out of their routine, quickly increase their arousal and desire, and once again experience peak sexual satisfaction.
Warning: visitors may start feeling a heightened interest while reviewing the site! (Grownups Only!)
AA: Where did you come up with the idea for Bring Back desire?
I’ve been with my darling man for 28 years… married 25 years… and we’ve lost babies, businesses, all our money and our hormones, but we never lost each other. I knew other couples must be struggling with the same challenges we had – how to keep the fires burning and the passion alive with the same partner year after year after year…
I knew I wasn’t the only woman who fell into bed at night seeking sleep, not sex; who was asking “who stole my sex drive!” Through a lot of research, testing and reading (Mmm Mmm Mmm!), I discovered delicious ways to reignite passion in the female brain and body, especially during the following events:
Creating bundles of joy (fertility challenges)
“I knew I wasn’t the only woman who fell into bed at night seeking sleep, not sex; who was asking “who stole my sex drive!”
Too “touched out” by toddlers
Career upheavals and financial challenges
Medications and their side effects
Dancing the libido tango – aka: peri-menopause!
I created Bring Back Desire to share these highly effective resources with other women who remember those days when they had urges… when they woke up in the middle of the night with a yearning for sexual intimacy with their Beloved… and wanted to feel those delicious feelings again.
I chose erotic and
erotic romance literature as the foundation for this website because the authors and stories I curate provide delicious examples of how really great sex can look and feel… and how fantasies can emotionally arouse you in a way that gets sex on your brain fast. These hot stories can remind women why they like sex and why being erotically connected with their beloved self and their beloved partner deepens the love, intimacy and pleasure in their life.
AA: My favorite thing about your site is that it’s tastefully focused on sex and sensuality in marriage but that it also targets women. I think that when most people think about sex in marriage, they think that men are the ones responsible for that part of the relationship. They think that men are supposed to be the ones wooing their wife and making her feel sexual. Bring Back Desire seems to go against that notion. It see ms to say that women can play the part of sexual aggressor, too – and you give them tips and information how to do that. What kind of response do you get from women about your site?
AL: Because sex is a taboo topic in our society and not something we talk about in polite company, I don’t always get a lot of written or verbal feedback, unless I know the woman. However, based on the site’s statistics, and the open rate of the bi-weekly newsletter, I can tell you it’s appealing to women from all walks of life.
Sure, some women cry BINGO and are thrilled I’ve curated the “good stuff” for them. Others may roll their eyes as if to say “oh brother… one more thing I get to feel inadequate about.” But overall, it’s empowering for women to read/watch the information I share… and it’s an important message for women to hear. Because I’m a gal next door and have the ability to say “clitoral stimulation” and it sounds like “please pass the salt,” I’m able to share this topic in a way women hear it. And they need to hear it because gals are responsible for knowing what turns them on so they can share this info with their darling man… and together they can reach delicious sexual satisfaction.
AA: What kind of response do you get from men?
AL: Men’s eyes light up…because they see the satisfied woman… and they LOVE the feeling of being with a woman who is turned on… and especially turned on by them… and most men love making their darling happy… sexually happy… and they love seeing the Temptress… the Sexy Siren. “Nothing is sexier than someone who wants you as much as you want them.”
I hear from some men saying wistfully “I’d love my wife to feel this way about sex.” Others will say “can’t wait to explore your site with my lady!” It’s always a very positive, happy and HEALTHY response from men.
BTW: I have never received any nasty or inappropriate comments or responses from men (or women)… not on the website or any of BBD/Ande Lyons’ social media platforms. I believe it’s because the site/brand and the brand message is always honoring, tasteful and playful.
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AA: Bring Back Desire focuses mainly on tips and information for women but how is the information useful for men, too?
AL: Several reasons. First, neither gender is born with a sex manual. I help men out by talking a lot about what turns
“Neither Gender is born with a sexual manual. I help men out by talking about what turns a woman on”.
a woman on… and the various ways she needs to feel loved, safe, honored, cherished in order for her to feel vulnerable enough to let go and have a meaningful, fun intimate time. I also chat with women about our expectations of men… how to communicate with men… and, frankly, the gentle care and feeding of men… in order for women to be happier in their relationships. This spills over to the guys in many ways!
AA: Bring Back Desire also has a great radio show called After Dark Radio where the slogan is “bringing you tips to get out of your head and get into bed”. What do you mean by this?
AL: Gals LOVE this slogan! They get it immediately because woman are genius at multitasking. Their brilliant at moving in and out of emotions and talking in their heads and giving their To Do Lists, lists. Always running plays of the day, conversations, etc. Our brains are BUSY! So when I tell them I’ve got tips that will stop the chatter in their brains, take their minds off kids/work/chores and help them focus on sensual pleasure… get grounded in their bodies and stir up lusty thoughts… they cheer and smile.
Especially the erotic romance literature… Women are aroused by how they FEEL.
AA: How big of a problem is this for women in relationships to “get out of their head and get into bed”
AL: If a woman is feeling angry toward her darling man, it’s very difficult to get out of her head and back into bed. Don’t touch me is her battle cry. This puts a wedge in the relationship; it’s not good for her… and it’s definitely not good for the men. If she can’t put her grievances in a box on the shelf before entering the bedroom, then it’s time for her (or the couple) to seek help from a professional.
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AA: What information can you give to the readers out there about “how to get out of their head and get into bed”
AL: Aaron – I could go on forever here…
Find out what turns you on. Read the stories I’ve curated… perhaps some ideas and fantasies will surface that excite you. Try products… sometimes a little extra vibration is needed… and a good lubricants is key for helping most women have a smoothly delicious intimate moment.
Grab a copy of my free Six Sizzling Sexy Tips (On BBD’s home page) – great advice to heighten pleasure so you can have great sex TONIGHT!
Couples: make sure you schedule time for intimacy and sensual pleasure. Talk about your fantasies. Bring spirituality into your sex play with Tantra.
Single Gals: same advice! Staying tuned in and turned on with your Beloved Self is key!
Final thought:
“Long term committed partners/husbands and wives must make the time to turn off the world and focus on each other. Lock the bedroom door and really tune in to your beloved. Always be interested in the evolving nature and character of your partner. Keep deepening the intimacy – deepening the love – deepening the erotic connection between you. The joy of sex is the celebration of life! By focusing on sensual, intimate connection, everything becomes illuminated, and the love, joy and laughter spills out into the rest of your life.”
Thank you, Ande, for your time and thank you for sharing your expertise with us. You have a great website and you’re doing great work for so many couples out there.