… only atheists would believe in him.
“He ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father. He will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead, and his kingdom will have no end. We look for the resurrection of the dead, and the life of the world to come.”
Every Christian on earth knows about the prophecy of the “second coming” of Jesus Christ. That’s actually the core of Christianity, the “stone pillar” of the faith, and the undisputed truth in the dogma. Otherwise, there is no point in anything. Why else would somebody be a believer, if not because Jesus will come to him and take him to a better place? Why else would somebody hesitate with masturbation, or why on earth would teenagers from Christian communities look for loopholes, or some “other” holes, in the “no pre-marital sex” rule? Yes, why?
Ok, it is true there is a concept of heaven and hell that is not necessarily related to the “second coming” of the Savior, but the concept of hell does give the option of being eternally in same neighborhood with Satan. Hell is not nearly as scary and humiliating as not to be among the chosen, who will be saved by Him and taken away to some mysteriously, but undoubtedly better place.
So, for the sake of this article, let’s say that Jesus Christ really is coming back, and this time he didn’t choose Palestine for his return, but let’s say he is presenting himself in Provo, Utah, USA. Provo might not be the most prominent place on earth, but Bethlehem wasn’t either. Add to the plus side that the city of Provo, according to a survey organized by Gallup in 2012, is the most religious city in the USA, so there can’t be a better place for the “second coming.”
“Provo! This is the place!”
Jesus, full of confidence, would pick Provo for his “second coming.” Shortly after his choice, he packed his carpenter’s tool kit, gently ironed his white linen dress, and reserved a pair of sandals. With the grace of the King of heaven, he walked once again through the wide corridors of God’s temple. He marched in long steps with the vitality of 33 year old men. He only stopped before The Gates. Jesus made a single glance in the direction of the old, bearded man who stubbornly kept his eyes on the wall. If somebody didn’t know the character of this man well, they might think he was made of stone?
“Ok Peter it’s time, open the gates,” with a gentle voice Jesus addressed his old friend.
“No!”, like a thunder sounded the voice of Peter, Simon Peter, or Simon the Rock, also known by his nickname Saint Peter.
“Com on Pete, we’ve be through this before. I must go down to the people who are waiting for me, and some would say they have waited a rather long time, don’t you think?”
“Remember what happened last time?” On this occasion, one could detect a slight song of fear in the voice of the old chap Pete.
“This time is different.” Jesus started to elaborate, “you know this is not the Roman Empire but the United States of America. It is so the called Beacon of Democracy and there is no chance they will crucify me again. Most important of all, I will go directly to the city of Provo. And hear this Pete, the city of Provo is the most religious city in America! No dealings with Jews or Pagans this time, just Christians. So open the door now.”
“No I won’t open the door”
“Don’t make me call my father, Pete.” After these last words of Jesus, Peter’s face turned hot with anger, but without any other words, he turned his focus to The Gates. With a simple snapping of his fingers, he gave the command. Jesus watched in astonishment how the big heavenly gates were opening before his eyes. He took a deep breath, and with dozen bold steps, Jesus walked out of heaven.
“So that’s it. I’m out of there! Now, off to Provo.” With a gentle smile, he turned his face to Peter for the last time to say his final testimony. “I’ll be back for diner, tell mother I’ll pick up some pastries on the way back.” With nothing else to say, Jesus closed his eyes and gave a mental command. In almost the same moment, he was in the great city of Provo.
Where else would Jesus go if not to the LDS Missionary Training Center, where young people of the most Christian city in the USA are learning how to be even better Christians. He immediately spotted a group of 12 or 15 young gentlemen and decided to pop-in without any hesitations.
“Good day fellow Christians, my name is Jesus Christ and this is my second coming.”
The young fellows stared at him and didn’t made any movement for the next five to ten seconds, when suddenly a chubby guy in a white shirt and khaki trousers burst in hysterically laughing. Not long after, the others from the group started to lough, half of them fell on the ground while trying to stop the serious pain in their bellies from laughing so hard. Jesus is not naïve, not any more. He remembered the cynics. Without any other words, he turned in the opposite direction and walked along the corridor.
He wasn’t discouraged, not at all. He knew there might be troubles on the way. After all, in the Gallup survey results he read that more than 70% of the inhabitants of Provo are deeply religious, and only a very small percentage represents non-believers. Those guys who burst into laughter must be non-believers, the so called atheists God had forbiddn. But Jesus didn’t get any better of a reaction from pedestrians on the sidewalk, or from people he addressed in the nearest shopping mall. After 30 minutes, he was arrested by a deputy of the local sheriff because some bitter woman was under the impression that Jesus was some kind of terrorist from the Middle East.
“So mister can you give me your name and address?” saidDeputy Stockton with efficiency in his speech, he wanted to be off with this funny little fellow before him as soon as possible.
“Of course, my name is Jesus Christ and I live in Heaven.” Deputy Stockton made a slight, almost unnoticed dull face and started over.
“Sir, I don’t think you are a terrorist, so stop joking. Give me your real name and address, and we can finish this charade quickly.”
“But I told you my name already. My name is Jesus Christ and this is my “second coming.”
“So you claim to be the Jesus Christ,” Stockton was on the edge to losing his temper.
“Yes I am.”
“Can you prove that,” the law enforcer was under suspicion that somebody from his office was trying to make an ass of him.
“…to prove? Well I can transfer water into wine or feed a whole village from a single basket. I can even raise the dead man from his grave.”
“No”, now Stockton was pissed, “Do you have a birth certificate, insurance number, or even driver license?”
“No I don’t have any of those…”
◊♦◊
Even without this strictly imaginative and in most parts stupid story, we can conclude that Jesus won’t last even one day after his “second coming.” The good people of Provo, or any other place on Earth,simply wouldn’t believe him. There has been 2000 years of constant battle fought between the followers of Christ in a perpetual attempt to present its own truth as truer, or better than, any other truth. If Jesus really decided to present himself in Provo to the students from LDS Missionary Training Center, he would find his second coming a false one, because there is no mention about it in the Book of Mormon. The Catholics would do the same, or in their best way, they would form a comity, with a mandate from five to 500 years, to investigate whether this is the real Jesus or not. The Eastern Orthodox Church wouldn’t even bother with comities, they would say the Orthodoxy is so old and righteous, it is probably even older than Jesus himself. No better luck, I presume, would Jesus find with Protestants either. Lutherans didn’t listen to Martin Luther once, so why would they listen to Jesus on his “second coming”?
Let’s imagine again, for the sake of this article, what would happen if Jesus presented some proof. “Carved in stone” proof such as: a birth certificate, an insurance number, or even a driver license? What if in the interrogation room of the Sheriff’s Office in Provo, Jesus presented all of these documents in the face of the amazed Deputy Stockton? What would happen? I’m afraid noting in particular. Christianity is based on dogma, one believes without proof, only faith beyond the logic.
“We have no proof that Jesus really existed, so we don’t need any proof that the Jesus before us is the real one.”
We can conclude that the only ones who would believe in Jesus’ “second coming” are the God forbidden, the atheists. Yes, the atheists, the non-believers, Satan’s little helpers. Those outcast from herd, who put logic against every line of the “Holy Book.” Those who seek proof for every written dogma. Those who choose science and who ask questions, too many questions. Atheists would take the evidence presented by Jesus, they would investigate, they would open a panel discussion where they would debate. After a reasonably long time, when all the experiments are finished, and the entire thesis has been proven, they will accept Jesus Christ as the Son of God and their Savior. They will follow him to the mysterious, but undoubtedly better place. Only then!
So it seems that for his “second coming” instead of Provo, Jesus should chose Burlington which is listed as the least religious city in the USA, according to a survey by Gallup.
Photo credit: sean_hickin/Flickr
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