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24/10/2014 comment link
Men’s approach to education and training of the child is not indisputable, but interesting and very effective. This article is evidence of differences between male and educational policy from the female, but not opposing them to each other.
Natural wisdom or the mode?
Many women believe that the child should live according to the mode. To sleep, to walk, and, of course, need to eat on schedule. But sometimes it is not desirable, and why I, you or your child should go against our nature? Sometimes moms begin to literally stuff the kids meal. Own experience, as it is unpleasant. Should I work to get carried away and forget to eat, as several employees at once trying to make me the victim of hyperopic and maternal care: “Igor, you don’t care about their health! You need to take care of yourself!”. There are openly negative suggestion: “You are so sick!” With their children, these women in the nutrition even more assertive. Well, what if the needs of the child regulates the natural wisdom of the body? Yes and what happens if you skip one or two meals? Come depletion? On the contrary, the child you’ve worked up an appetite and will eat not only with pleasure, but with the benefit of the body.
The main secret of a good night’s sleep
Another interesting observation: many women I know, I sincerely believe that a child’s bedtime should be isolated from any irritants, “calm down”. Maybe this stereotype is typical for most women? My approach to training the child to sleep is very different. From a very early age (from 1 month) I took the child in his arms, and we went to look at birds, dogs, flowers and cars, touched the bark of trees, rocks and grass, and listened to the buzzing of bees and the birds singing. The child received the information through all the channels of perception (“watched”, “touched”, “listen”) and, of course, soon saw that information, “nodding”, fell asleep. After that I put him in the pram or cot. As a specialist in the sickness of a child, will share their top secret: if a child falls asleep in an upright position is a sign that he has received sufficient information and has so much to process during sleep.
How men relate to the child’s health
To some it may seem that men are to care about the health of the child lightly, but it is not so. Imagine that child for a long time sitting in the cool pond, and dad happy, because he himself does not want to leave the water. And how does the mother? She is outraged: “Leave immediately, and then prostatitis!” It’s just kind of wrecking installation: go and exactly protugese. Our body, fun, knows that Zabala tomorrow, all the fun is over! And then start working natural protective mechanisms, develop immunity, builds body. The child really want to splash in the water, watching fry and throw stones. And this can be done only when you are healthy.
The man turns reality in a nurturing environment
A woman often wants to listen to the advice and recommendations and therefore for the development of a child uses ready-made toys and various teaching AIDS. Man, on the contrary, developing a kid using real objects and subjects, transforming the reality in a nurturing environment. He hands the child a variety of tools, introduces the technique. Even an ordinary meal can fill developmental effect. For the development of fine motor skills necessary to use the fingers in the process of manipulating small objects. I used a simple exercise in the game with my son, who was not yet six months. Cut small pieces of fruit.
First there were cubes with sides of 1 cm, over time, their size decreased. Delicious cubes I scattered on the table, and the kid was forced to take their fingers. Thus, without realizing that the child used the correct grip (pinch and pincer), and this is a preparation for hand writing. Too early? But even Ushomirsky wrote that “the mind of a child is on the tips of his fingers.” Today neuropsychologie already proven the fact that the development of speech directly influenced by small movements of the fingers (say start children at the moment when they are able to perform isolated finger movements). As children get older I began to teach him buttoning (by the way, the important skill of self-service). Not pleasant, especially when you do not get, and not get at first, always. In combat boredom we’ve turned learning the game. First mastered the large buttons on an old coat. That was interesting, buttons stuck circles from cardboard and painted on their eyes, mouth. Turned out funny faces. Gay men can hide, you look out of one eye and, finally, to stick his head in the window, put a smiling face caressing rays of the spring sun.
Let’s look at everything in a new way!
When meaningful approach, a powerful development environment is not only any subject or activity, but also any territory, for example the side of the road! The cars are so different and dynamic. They well help adults develop the child: “Look, there’s a red car drove off, this white” (distinguishing colours); “little car, and cargo – large” (value objects); “the Right bus rides, and the left – fire engine (orientation in space); “let’s count machines, etc. And what is the cost of our weekly walks in the forest, we started with 1.5 months of age! In the forest all really. Unfortunately we adults often pass by the amazing things that seem familiar to us. The child is surprised very much, as he sees it for the first time in my life! Teaching your child the basic skills, we can learn the most complex and unique ability to see ordinary things and phenomena from a completely different perspective, as if for the first time in my life. This skill helps to solve not only cognitive tasks, but also psychological problems, and therefore it should be developed, taking the example from the kids.
Pope for communication with the electronics!
From an early age dads involve the child in the process of communication with the electronics. Rather, the baby reaches for the phone, remote controls, computer, and fathers to them, not hinder. Unfortunately, mothers often see this as pandering to the whims of the baby. Children, seeking to technique, are intuitively true. Psychologists have revealed the following pattern: man masters of the technical system the better and faster than before begins to do so. For example, in the family, you receive the computer. Before that all family members had zero skills of the user. Look at this family through the year and compare the success of the 10-year-old son and his 35-year-old parents.
Developmental potential of the mobile phone
All electronic devices “charged” developmental potential, as work on the principle laid down in these algorithms. Comprehending them, the child learns to think logically. Thinking is the process of finding connections and relations between objects and phenomena of reality. Electronic devices as if designed to explore causality. Nice developing device is a mobile telephone. Changing the ringer volume, introduce the baby with the words “loud”, “quiet”. For the development of speech, you can contact the answering service and to give the child enough to have a good long talk with “electronic aunt”. The phone is good and the camera is better. Especially digital. Here’s where you can instantly see how actions lead to results, to compare the image with reality, and after some time again to browse and map image of the visual memory. Oh, and when the child is looking at his own image in photos or video, rapidly formed his “self-concept” (the mechanisms of self-identification, self-knowledge and self-expression). It is directly connected with the development of the child’s personality.
Stress and fear are required!
An equally important aspect of personal development is a baby’s emotional development and emotional intelligence in particular. These factors contribute to success in school and self-realization in adult life. No wonder diagnosis of school readiness includes the study of three parameters – intellectual, emotional, and personal readiness. Undoubtedly, mom pay the emotional development of the child a lot of attention. But, unlike their fathers, they often underestimate the positive influence of stress on the development of children’s emotionality. Yes, it is stress, because the ability to withstand stress factors due to natural and necessary to man. No less important in our lives and fear, within reasonable limits, of course. The ability to timely and adequately respond to negative emotions is an important skill that should be formed for the development of emotional stability of the child.
In the Arsenal of the parent must be a game in which the child needs (and wants) to hide, to escape, to repel the attack. These games return in good times mammoths and saber-toothed tigers, in a time when people knew how to use stress “on purpose”. Then the stress was not troubled his mind, and helped to survive and to feel like a winner. Times have changed, and human physiology has remained the same. The child needs to experience strong emotions, both negative and positive. The best way to create and experience their games. Well, who else but a man can come up with for the child’s game called “Stone age resting!”
Instinct gathering – based games
Instinct gathering, hunting deep in the unconscious of man. Parents can apply different games, which aim at finding items and their properties. One of those games I’m already about one and a half years. The game has no name, but she is very like my son, but because long-lived, evolving, and I think will continue to transform to meet the new learning task. It all began when my son was not yet seven months. We hid under the pillow and found a favorite toy – bear. This was familiar with the words “hide” and “find”, I loudly and with a cadence said. For nine months the game has been modernized. Bear began to hide in the bathroom, but with the necessary condition (this is important!) he was to be seen. I planted a bear in a conspicuous place in the room, and then went in there with her son in her arms. His task was to find a Teddy bear eyes. The kid turned his head and was very happy when found toy.
Bear eventually became smarter, choosing places are not so obvious (on the floor, right at the entrance to the room, the chandelier, at the flower stand). The problem gradually became more complicated: the bear “hiding” behind the tulle on the windowsill (limited visibility), only one head peeking from behind an object (partial visibility). Ran into the adjacent room, and, despite the fact that the toy was clearly visible, the child needed to expand psychological boundaries and to direct attention beyond the originally specified territory of the search, i.e. to overcome the existing stereotypes of perception. With this turn of events, the game has become valuable as a tool for the development not only of perception, attention and randomness, but also as a form of psychological flexibility of the child. Then the game was developed by way of reducing the size of the search objects and use not the usual placement of objects in space. My fantasy was exhausted, but autumn has come, and our game was moved to the expanses of forests. My son and daughter turned into a mushroom. Yaroslav was 1.5 years. Sometimes I first noticed the mushroom and deliberately tried to pass by. But there it was. The little boy stopped me screaming, “Daddy died!” Now this game was developed not only the cognitive processes of the child, but also his self-esteem. (However, according to psychologists, the formation of “self-concept”, and hence the self-assessment as part of her starts to 3 years).
Daddy – best friend!
Spontaneity is one of the major differences between men’s approach to the game with your child. Why men rarely plan the development of the game, and often follow the course of the developments and desires and their child? Yes, because the man in the game itself becomes a child. And what he’s older, the better he does it. He is imbued with the spirit of the game, enjoys, getting not only fun, but also useful. This spontaneity, sincere passion for the process and the desire to move from the leading game in its participant makes a man’s best friend child.
Well, mother, meanwhile, always a mother. Loving, caring, kind, the best mom in the world!
Igor Gubarev, a practicing psychologist, father of two children