Trouble with the in-law's?
Below is an email from a Godly Woman member, after reading, please pray for their family and if you wish leave an advise, prayer, a Bible verse or comment below to comfort this family. Thank you.
Dear
Godly Woman,
I
would like to be kept anonymous please. My husband and I have been facing so
much lately. A lot of it coming from his mother and it is starting to carry a
heavy burden on us both. But I think more so on him, because of the type of
person his mom is, I cannot nor can he stand up and say or confront her about
anything. She has been bashing, degrading and talking so badly of me. Name
calling. Everything. My transmission in OUR truck blew out a year ago. Since,
my mother in law has been letting me use ONE of hers. My husband works nights
(leaves the house at 4:30 pm and doesn't get home until usually around 4:00
am). I am currently a stay at home mom of my own 7 yr old and my 8 and 10 yr
old stepchildren who my husband has had custody of since before we even starting
dating, we have none of our own together. His mother loves to be in control of
anything and literally everything. She helped us get a house, which we had
moved onto and set up on permanent foundation on her property (different land
then where she lives, she lives about 30 mins away from us). She constantly
throws me not working in my face. We do struggle financially because I don't
work. I would like to, but I struggle finding a job to work around my husband’s
hours because we don't have help or money for babysitters or anything. He cannot
confront his mom about the stuff she has been saying, because she would take it
as him going against her. (It happened with his first marriage and his mom is
ONE of the reasons him and his ex did not work out and now she is doing the
same with us). He told me that if I was to or even if HE did confront her, she
would take our lively hood, take her truck back (the only vehicle we have for
the 5 of us *us and 3 kids* to fit into to) and would take our house. I am going
tomorrow to put in applications and try the whole job search thing again.
Literally, right now, we are FORCED to deal with her actions, which is causing
trouble between us, my step children and I (she has been telling them stuff and
is causing them to somewhat act our against me) and bring me down in so many
ways and making me feel beyond terrible about myself. I have prayed for
guidance, help, strength, as well as courage. I would LOVE to be able to see us
be able to even find a house to rent that we could afford, so that we are out
of this one and not having a place to live held against us. I would LOVE to be
able to get our own family car so that we can give her truck back to her and
not have that held over our heads. If we could get those 2 breakthroughs, it
would be life changing! We would be out of her grasp and control. I am at a
lost. We don't get help from the state (food stamps, medicare, etc because even
for a family of 5 on one income and us struggling to make ends meet they say my
husband makes too much.), we do not receive child support from his ex (she is
court ordered but has NEVER made a payment and is over $13,000 behind) and we
don't get it from my child’s father because he has never (not even through my pregnancy
at any time) was in the picture. We can't get any financial help to help us
succeed in our goals to have OUR OWN house and car without the fear of them
just being yanked away. I have no idea what to do any more and have gotten into
a state of depression. I feel like his mother is right, that I am worthless,
because no matter how hard I try or anything I never succeed. If there is any
advice how to cope with ANY of this and help us get on OUR OWN feet, with a
house and car that is ours and won’t have held over us, and out of his mothers
control and grip, it would be greatly appreciated!
Godly Woman
Answers:
Hi Anonymous,
It
is so pathetic how one can manipulate and abuse another. Sorry to hear about
your dilemma. As I was reading your comments, I
was thinking of a woman who would treat another human being with contempt could do
so only from a heart that is dark and troubled. My advice to you is to encourage
yourself with the word of God. Your mother-in-law is NOT in control of your
emotions, only you can control that. Don’t let her abuse you verbally and treat
you with contempt because you do not stand tall with dignity. Everyone goes
through life’s up’s and down’s this does not mean your mother-in-law can take
advantage of your situation and pollute your head with lies and your children’s. Do not let your mother-in-law get to you. Take charge of your life in God. He will heal your wounds, hurt and the pain. Your
mother-in-law, is not right, you are NOT worthless. In the eyes of God, you are
his precious daughter, your family is his, and not for anyone to trample on.
Pray for your, mother-in-law, love her like Jesus loves her, this might be hard
to do in the beginning, but start doing and gradually you will love her like
Jesus loves her. You should know that your mother-in-law is not the enemy here;
it’s the work of the flesh, the ugly spirit behind it that causes her to
destroy you with verbal abuse and manipulation. Ask God to keep you on firm
ground and meditate on the word of God daily (if you are not in a habit of
doing that – please start doing it). Meditate on God’s precepts, He will guide
you and give grace to sustain all things.
Remember
to pray for her daily. Ask God to humble her, and ask him to give you the
courage to not be offended by her littleness. When you can smile with pity at
her criticisms, she loses her power and her words will no longer matter to you.
Only then will you be able to minister to her need as you find victory in Jesus
Christ!
Power Verses
to help you:
Psalm 34:17-18, "The righteous cry out, and
the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is
close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. "
2
Corinthians 12:9, "But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for
my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more
gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."
Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things
through Christ who strengthens me.”
Praying God strengthens you and your family. God bless.
Find us on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/GodlyWomanDaily