This article is a continuation of these....the two articles I wrote on Betrayal. In these articles I mention being abused by a false deliverance person I thought was a friend. I am going to go more in detail about deliverance ministries without naming names.
Betrayal
Betrayal II
One thing I learned about this world, is people don't have to get money from you to prey on you. There's sociopaths and others who want to play with your mind for the sheer thrill of it. Once I was trying to publish a book on a secular topic, I went to a bookstore in a larger town and met the owner. I knew he held writing classes. I lived too far away to take any and he knew this. He pretended he had an "in road" in book publishing, because of his writing class connections. It seemed legit. My husband is a writer and worked in newspapers before they folded. I had my husband to edit thing professionally so the quality of the writing was good. I handed him some chapters from my book. This guy said he would help me get it published. Two months later he told me, a big publisher was interested in the book. I was excited. He told me he would send me the details soon.
A week later he died, no email had been sent. I tried to get information from his widow as to the deal he had supposedly made, but she had no answers which seemed very suspicious to me. I contacted another student in his writing classes I knew of, and he told me, that he had promised him a book deal too. After some research and figuring things out and the widow's in put, we realized we all had been "had".
I said, "Why did he do this, he had no money to make from me"? The other student said, "He must have wanted the attention and to feel important."
There's a lot of self appointed experts out there. Many of them are liars.
Even writing this blog, I have told people I am not an expert just an ordinary person. Don't look to me like some guru, I don't want people following me, I want them following Jesus Christ and checking out His Word. I want them to think about some of the nonsense they are all trying to fool us with. Check things out for yourself and check everything out I write here too. I am not some icon of perfection. You will not find a Martha Stewart set table. My apartment is messy now because I have been sick for two days but I was able to help my husband with grocery shopping yesterday and still have to put my clothes away he washed.
However some love to claim they are experts and icons of perfection.
Let's call them Deliverance Ministers.
Deliverance Ministry is wrong on one basic principle, it puts another human being in a "priest-hood" position over another.
This doesn't mean I deny the existence of demons or anything else Deliverance Ministries claim they are going to help people with. God's help is enough. I want you to imagine the power-games between those who are supposedly icons of goodness and perfection, and the "non-demonized" and the "demonized" people these people all claim they want to help.
I have a rare medical disorder that has physically deformed me and caused endless medical havoc. I can't even name it here, because it would put my anonymity at risk, because it is that rare and "weird". It was a 1 in 5 million lightening strike. Several other autoimmune disorders came with it, including impending deafness and I am still losing hearing to this day. This made me vulnerable to someone's promises of healing.
It took the doctors over a decade to fully diagnose me. At one point in 2013, I had nurses begging me to go to Mayo while I received nursing care for a wide variety of problems. I then managed to get diagnosed. The desperately ill are often desperate for healing. I have been disabled for over 20 years. I have suffered a lot. These health problems led to rejection even from my own wicked family because illness held me back from things. In my earlier life I held an art education degree and an art teaching job at a juvenile home and as a residential counselor. Even then because I did not make a 6 figure salary, I was deemed a failure among my better off family.
This made me vulnerable. Some of the deliverance ministries will claim, that they do not believe in the prosperity gospel, but the prosperity gospel undergirds much of their teachings.
Their basic teachings are that , if one is sick or having financial problems, that means there is some undealt with "sin" or "curse" in their lives instead of just being in this fallen world. It seems to me if bad things like illness and poor finances mean sin, that means better financial situations and health means "goodness". Talk about taking the American prosperity gospel to it's utmost zenith.
On this point alone, these deliverance ministers prey on the vulnerable, the ill and the broken hearted. Add in the American culture's insistence that one always work on "self improvement" and "fixing" your life and it is a recipe for disaster.
Be careful of anyone who promises miracles or healing. They are all liars. They don't always charge money, sometimes they just want your soul. Our culture sets up people to seek for answers in THIS WORLD. They tell you that happiness must be found here.
Deliverance ministers present themselves as having all the answers. Often they are wealthier, more socially stable and accepted people who get a feeling of power over the vulnerable and those in lower socioeconomic and status positions in society. I believe they are dangerous. Christians need to stay away from deliverance ministers.
I have yet to meet a "real one". I wrote on the betrayal articles how I ran into problems with a deliverance minister. When I started this blog, I met her, she too warned of the NWO and other things I talked about online as well. We started up a friendship. She was someone I could talk about these things too. There was many years I cared about her as a friend so this is some painful stuff. One danger of the Internet is it is not the same as knowing someone as in real life. Many of my commenters here talk about how no one understands around them and it is so rare to find someone to talk about these deeper Christian issues. Let me warn you of something, most are fakes out there. They corral anyone who dares to think independent. In this relationship, it would be normal friendly email for many years and then we started talking on the phone.
She told me she did deliverance. I questioned a lot of it along the way, but thought, "Well more prayer can't hurt!" That was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. Here deliverance ministry becomes like Catholic confession. Deliverance people want to know every detail of your life.
I was told that my life would improve if I made sure I renounced every occultic and other involvement earlier in my life. As people who have read this blog know since I have admitted it all, I was a Unitarian-Universalist Theosophist, I dabbled in Wicca, numerology, Ouija, seances and astrology. I never went into deeper branches of magick and the occult, but studied and read about it. I visited psychics especially in the early days of illness. I of course grew up Roman Catholic too.
This person got me to believe that I needed to deal with these things in prayers. I had renounced them all, literally throwing away witchcraft and astrology books when I got saved. I was supposed to list all these things, it was a long list and pray over each and every one of these things with them. At the time I did not see this as a problem. I certainly wanted "freed" from all the spiritual and other effects, these things would have had on my life. Because my illnesses were so extreme in symptoms and in number, I wanted any help I could get. I am still surprised I made it through 2013. Doctors even in 2008 told me I had only a short time to live.
I've talked to others who have been with deliverance ministries, and they want a full synopsis of your life. A long list of things you did wrong, and things other people did to you. They delve into past histories of abuse, physical and other, dysfunctional families, any past occult involvements, and traumas. Some will fool you even worse pretending to be vulnerable themselves and to elicit your natural empathy while they hold no empathy themselves and will tell you their own traumas and abuses.
This is just like today's modern pyschologists and counselors but without the legal protections and natural boundaries, they want to know it all. They are like a Catholic priest listening to your deepest darkest secrets, and making a literal list. Here the broken-hearted, sick, and lonely, can be prey, because they are often people who are more lonely and lack attention from others. For some of the most vulnerable, they can sneak in even more. My husband protected me from the worse. He would question it all. She talked to him on the phone, he saw her as a "friend" of mine and a nice person too but when the full weirdness got into full swing, he was as shocked and dismayed as I was.
God also protected me too. He sent me dreams warning me about this person to the point I had no point but to listen. There was a long long time, I "knew" she was false, but was too scared to break away because I wanted to keep my anonymity intact when it came to this blog. I had shared some very personal things with her and her supposedly with me too.
I have already paid some heavy prices for this blog, in terms of lost friendships and other life pressures. I do believe at least four trojan horse online "friendships" have been sent me for this blog. I never expected that. This not a huge blog. I do not have the academic and other credentials, to make it professional. Even with the writing, I only have time for quick edits and it is far from perfect. I am always behind on answering comments and emails. Sometime I do think about shutting down the blog because of all the troubles and worries that have come with it, but God has said "No" for now. There are times I think I have run out of things to write about and then think it is time to stop and then that changes. I have many new topics now to explore.
Even to this day I wonder why I was so extremely targeted. The only thing I can come up with is that I majorly stepped on some toes in some heavy articles especially from some years ago. Maybe it was when I questioned Calvary Chapel or maybe when I exposed the Whosoevers. There's tons of conspiracy and discernment blogs online. Maybe when a real person does one, who is sincere, they go for broke making sure only to have controlled ops in on the game.
I hope I can help others though, in sharing what happened to me. This is not an easy article to write. Yes I am embarrassed to have let this spiritual abuser in. Some may ask where was your discernment. Oh it was there, but out of loneliness, I kept wanting this person to be real. I wanted someone "real" to talk about the heavy issues I was learning about and discussing. I already had removed three trojan horses from my life where I had PM, phone and online contact, and there was part of me in denial about there being yet another one. I actually thought, "There can't be a fourth, someone has to be a real friend, there's gotta to be someone like you out there who sees some of these same things!" What a mistake that was!
It could have been much worse, if there wasn't always a little voice standing back saying "Something is wrong here". She seemed like a nice person. I thought of her as my friend. She helped me even buying me a dress or two and once helping with some groceries when we came up short one month. I thought she was someone who truly cared about me as a person. I emailed her and had other correspondence with her for several years without a problem. It was a supportive long distance friendship. We just emailed for many years and phone contact came in later. We did a shared Bible study on the phone. I am often housebound and the companionship was something I sought after. In many ways she was kind, helpful and thoughtful during those years giving me comfort and sharing prayers while I was sick but then when she started the "deliverance" talk that was the beginning of the end.
What is weird, is I would debate with her. I did not agree with her theology of "curses". She told me she did "deliverance work" with other people and I knowing very little about it, thought, "Well more prayer can only help" so I said Ok. She told me she had experience helping very ill people and the abused find healing. I was also separating from my family around this time which added another challenge to the whole mess. They hated me for being a Christian and this grew in scope. I am related to the gay family I wrote about. They are cousins. The anger over me posting the gospel on my Facebook wall and standing for the things I did grew stronger. At that time I did not know that three members of the family had become homosexuals or that my mother was in on it before they all "came out" which they did on Facebook. The family was reacting scarily. One cousin even called me to threaten me. This was not from posting anything against homosexuality directly but even just for posting gospel messages and bible verses.
Deliverance is a giant mistake. I cannot emphasize this enough. Spiritually, I was letting someone else step in to be a "mediator" between God and me. I renounce all deliverance ministries, as "priests" trying to get control over someone else's life and the domain of the prideful who think they have all the answers and that anyone who does not reach their idea of "perfection" is supposed to be "fixed" by them. Here American ideals of self improvement, prosperity gospel and Calvinist success marry into a rotting stinking stew. Stay away from anyone who wants to "fix" you. Isn't that 90 percent of preachers out there now? Where ousting out "sin" is a self improvement program. It is very painful to me, that I was seen as another "fix-it"project by someone else who never saw me as a real friend. There's some heavy burdens here where I feel immense pressures as a disabled and poor person in American society who has been deemed "unacceptable".
Deliverance ministries are often racist and classist in foundation. They seek after people of lower status in American society to "fix". Many prideful women seeking after religious status, fall into the "busy-body" trap. One sees this in churches. I got a stomachache even at the church where I left the bible study where the women there remarked on often poorer relatives and friends who did not have their "lives together". Most seemed to lack decent paying employment instead of having any real faults. I cringed thinking what must they think of me walking on this walker and not having vacations, home decor and other things to brag about. I felt alone.
1 Timothy 5:13 - And withal they learn [to be] idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.
Be very careful of busy-bodies out there. I was afraid a long time because I had shared a lot with this person. I kept some boundaries up but let too many down as she 'shared' too. I am law-abiding and boring, I don't have any sexual past--my first love was my husband, or anything crazy for someone to use. At this point Satan's enemies have dug so deep I don't think they would have anything else to find out. A lot of the trojan horses first order of business was to influence me. One tried to sell Calvary Chapel to me, one told me Roger Oakland was the real deal. This one I think more and more just wanted to destroy me.
I have met others hurt by "busy-body" church women who pretend to care, and are information gatherers and then do the back stabbing. Deliverance ministers are often legalists. They see "god" as someone who will throw you overboard for the slightest transgression. Forget a head covering [this was something I did not agree with], then God will be angry. This one taught extreme fasting that was impossible for my health but I thought would be damaging to any normal person. Listen to one secular song, then hell and more demons await.
I wrote her emails I still have copies of where I wrote her saying "you are becoming too obsessed with demons and you have become too legalistic." She told me, things like you haven't had enough deliverance. In deliverance, I have noticed nothing is ever good enough, and the rules and hoop-jumping just got raised.
They will tell you so much time has taken for damage to be done, and well we need time to "deliver" you. Of course one notices that nothing is changing for the better and they raise the goal posts at every step. For people of lesser faith, this could be a clear path into falling away which maybe was the intention all along? I think. It got to the point where this person actually acted and spoke like she was speaking for God Himself. Run like the wind if you ever encounter anyone like this.
I stuck it in there with her, even worrying she had become sick and mentally ill and the duty of a friend was to have forebearance, so there was a lot of times I listened and was nice, and kept my real thoughts aside and I should have just walked away for good. At those times I think she was being overtaken by NWO studies and other life issues and hopefully would be able to calm down and get to a better place. One thing about wicked people is they will take advantage of love, attachment and other feelings normal people have for one another that they lack.
Instead I basically had a wolf in my midst doing great damage. It has taken me a year to even dare to write about what happened to me.
I once told her in an email, "I pray God will free you of the superstitions. When someone knows about some conspiracies or how the world really operates and how evil it truly is with the endless betrayals, the pitfalls are endless. Satan can make you go all sorts of places"
My husband was so upset at her talk of curses, he would tell me, "She used to be so nice, what is wrong with her?" He told me she acted like Skipper being afraid of the Tikki statue on Gilligan's Island. Her talk of witches, curses and demons escalated.
It got to the point where I was frightened. Keep in mind I had known her for some years at this period of time. In the earlier stages I listened to some of her curses talk and went along with it, which I am kind of ashamed of now. When I look back, I still have many of our emails, she seemed to be a kind concerned friend for many years and then things just go crazy. While she is telling me some of this stuff, I am even arguing against a lot, but she never listens. She has no spirit of self examination nor of correction which should have served as a giant red flag to me.
I wrote her this too:
I know I sent you that one verse from Proverbs some time ago where curses that are undeserved are not delivered. I am not telling you that you are doing anything wrong but to consider some of your conclusions. We must all test ourselves. When spiritual matters have become a source of pain one needs to step back and question why and how. We need to keep a balance in our lives. I feel like things were getting unbalanced. I am asking myself now if I have balance in my own Christian life.
I tried warning her, and telling her she was going down a bad path....I wrote this to her too.
"I know that people can get into deliverance work and sometimes get led into some extremes. Think of those Ghana people who take things to extreme and Satan leads them down paths fearing witches. Why are all the deliverance ministries so far gone? I found one by accident online yesterday that was psycho where they had prayers to Jesus telling him to bless Chakras We are in the place where we are new world order aware and God has shown us more things. That can be a place where things can get dangerous because Satan always has tricks. The Grace of God does not denote worrying about a curse coming from 20 people. I see all the NWO aware Christians fooled by the Raiders News and NewsWithViews set. I am not going to spend life fearing the occultists, or their spells."
Her main message to me then mutated into this: that my life was in ruins and God was not healing and blessing me, because I was refusing "deliverance". At one point, I told her no more on the deliverance writing her a letter saying it broke down boundaries between friends, but I should have walked away then. She did not let up. Towards the end, she grew wickedly abusive, and told me, "You are going to die now because you refused deliverance and waited too long" Things got very scary, I felt threatened and like she was doing back handed messages. The last day I ever had contact with her she called me up and said, "A death curse in the mail has been sent to you by your family. If you touch the envelope you will immediately die". I was fed up by that point and made a joke, I said "Whats going to happen to the mailman?" and "What if I reach in and don't see it?" I then said, "That's enough", hung up the phone and never talked to her again. I ended a online "friendship" that had begun in 2002, when I was newly saved. She never was a friend.
This person horrifies me now. The depth of evil was great here. I do believe they could have been a disinformationist and waged a campaign against me of many years of duration. I also notice when I was more stable, she did not do that deliverance nonsense but saved that for when my health was in a dangerous place and my financial struggles began. She told me she has had other deliverance "clients" , she wouldn't share details about them but I know they existed. That scares me. Some would go and live with her at her house. She would tell me she would take in homeless and other desperate people. This scares me for them now. My contact with her was all long distance, except for three days when she visited me and when I saw her in person, I knew what I needed to know but still took long to get away.
When I counteracted this person and stood up to them. I only got "know it all responses". There was no humbleness. They told me deliverance was only for the desperate. That those who refused deliverance which I had by that time, were "disobeying" God. They do really see themselves as spokesmen for God. They are not.
There are many wolves out there and abusive people. People into deliverance seek power over other people. That's what it is about. Power. This one may have other worse agendas, but I believe some get a "high" just spiritually messing with people and pretending to act like they speak for God. Spiritual abuse is a serious problem out there, in the churches, among the pastors and more. I'll be frank modern Christianity is a cesspool. We are living in a time now where faith is under more pressure then ever. The wolves have indeed taken over. Spiritual abusers love power. It's not just pastors who spiritually abuse, sometimes it can be a "busy-body" housewife or anyone else who thinks they can direct another person's spiritual life.
Don't make the mistake I did and share personal information with someone out of your own pain and suffering and desperation for relief. Be careful of would be online friends who can play games. Even in the real world be careful. I believe she got in when I was having my serious kidney issues, and thought I was going to die soon. I was in extreme pain and very vulnerable. I had dealt with serious family issues of decades in duration. My husband has lost his career and for years we had struggled with extreme financial problems I have talked about here. My life was in tatters and still remains very troubled. The wicked will come in and kick you in the face when you are down. Don't even trust those who share their own problems or abuses always. There the wicked are merely eliciting your God-given conscience they lack to get you to "bond" with them. It is all a lie.
Here too be careful in churches, a lot of spiritual abuses is happening even via shared prayer circles. They tell people to share prayers with each other and what to pray for and in that can elicit a lot of information on people. I noticed it in the Bible study, smiling sneers and wolf smiles over Sally's unemployed husband or Mary's drug addicted daughter. I wanted to throw up. Don't think always people have your best intentions in mind. I may write about this soon, but part of growing up as a Christian is realizing how evil this world really is. It is as bad as you suspect. Yeah I am being "negative" and all the things they brainwash you in this society about.
I struggle I really do, I believe some will fall away because some will be led by these sickening people to think God has failed in His promises for us to have loving and comforting Christian fellowship. Jesus warned us in Matt 24:10. Many will hate and betray us. It is happening in my life and in many others.
I remember one argument I had with her right before I ended the deliverance, this was verbal, where I told her, "Your deliverance is like witchcraft spells, say the exact right prayer and the trouble or the "demon" will be lifted". Oh if only I had seen that as the impetus to cut all ties with her at that point but I noticed that how FORMULAIC it all was, kind of like the Catholic Mass. They use fear of demons, and fear of death, and all sorts of things to wiggle in at people. They are snakes! She told me I had the "spirit of rebellion", which is one thing false pastors and other people will come up with. To "rebel" against them is to "rebel" against God. Remember one quality of Satan's followers is the extreme pride. They never admit they are wrong. The seared will never say "I am sorry" or "How can I make things better? with any sincerity.
I want you to think of the pride of someone who goes around too claiming everyone else is demonized and they are there to fix the problem. Can someone really be accepting and a friend of someone they consider demonized to the hilt for being sick and having money problems? Sadly I think THAT is the attitude in the churches that if bad things have happened to you, it's your fault, you let demons and sin into your life. The prosperity gospel and "best life now" garbage IS the prevailing wind!
My deliverance minister told me things, like "You are the one doing the prayers, not me" when I spoke of these power differentials, but it was just all manipulation. People like this destroy people's relationship with God. They get them to see God as the demon and trouble vaniquishing ATM machine instead of the money spitting out one. They lie and tell people specific prayers will get automatic results. They tell people to deny their own God-given emotions and to deny reality about how the world really works, and that many die without miracles or solved problems. They attach a demon to everything.
If my past faux friend was not a knowing deceiver then her own false religion got her into dwelling on the demons so much, she had them in control of everything. So wonder she feared a "witch" and a curse on every corner. One weird thing she told me was that witches could deliver curses by proxy, and hand them over a person like the mail-man or someone else they knew without the person knowing. Her knowledge of "witchcraft" and "demons" seemed based on combination of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Frank Peretti novels. I told her when I messed with Wicca in the past, I never heard of such a thing. I did learn something about myself, there is such a thing as too much forebearance and trying to be nice, when someone is weirding you out or scaring you. There is also bad things in humoring someone and "going along" to "get along". If someone talks to you about MK Ultra outside of true warnings and other weird things be careful too. While I believe those are "real" conspiracies, all we have to do is examine the life of Michael Jackson and Brittany Spears, there are "conspiracies" used to abuse people and try to bring them into an unsound mind.
2 Timothy 1:7
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love and of a sound mind.
Deliverance ministers attack sound minds. They want you to let down your guard and boundaries to let them in to control. With their false promises for better health, and closeness to God and improved lives, they are salesmen for Beezelebub, with their talk of generational curses, soul ties and other nonsense. Demons are their hench men, and the ones they want you focused on. Every fallen world problem from acne to a broken down car especially for the most Pentecostal ones, is seen as "demon caused". Insanity and mental health problems can lie on that path. If the name of Jesus Christ can cast out all demons, why do they claim their "deliverances" take months and years and years? That is one place to suspect them as wolves. Even the secular counselors now stick to only 5-6 sessions nowadays for the sake of insurance costs.
In my case, she didn't have one dime to make off me, but I got a lot of trouble for ever having met this person. I can't implore you enough stay away from all deliverance ministers. It is only God's job to "fix" you, no one else's. Depend on God for everything. Stay away from "Christians" who have the "deliverance" mindset towards anyone who is sick or poor. They will lead hell right to your door and destroy whatever is left of your self esteem in this sicko society. Be careful of the desire for human companionship or loneliness or health struggles leading you down false paths. Someone who does not accept you as you now are, is not a real friend. They are no different from Tony Robbins and Landmark Forum programs with their lying promises of earthly "happiness" and "success". They pray on the vulnerable, the ill and the broken hearted. They don't love, they hate.
Jesus Christ promises eternal life with Him once we are saved, not a perfect life here or being a "perfect" person, that is another point upon which their entire "deliverance" program fails.