I want to like Royal Caribbean’s Quantum of the Seas. I really do. I even wrote about her float-out recently in The Province. I have had several enjoyable cruises aboard the line’s other ships, like Grandeur of the Seas and Mariner of the Seas. I love their existing ships for their unique blend of new and traditional features, and I think they provide an incredible product at a good price. Although I haven’t personally sailed aboard them, I can even get behind Allure and Oasis of the Seas for what they are and what they offer to cruisers.
Quantum of the Seas as seen at the Meyer Werft shipyard in Papenburg, Germany following her recent float-out. She will enter service this fall. Photo courtesy of Meyer Werft.
Every time I read about the forthcoming Quantum of the Seas, though, a small piece of me runs away screaming, heading off into the distance, never to be heard of again. Clearly, I’m not Royal Caribbean’s ideal passenger for this ship. The trouble is: who is the ideal guest for this technological marvel?
The latest news on CruiseCritic appeared like an April Fools Joke: Quantum of the Seas to Feature Lineless Embarkation and Robot Bartenders.
That’s right, kidlets: despite the fact my Windows 8 laptop has restarted itself twice today to perform “necessary system updates”, Royal Caribbean is entrusting a robot running similar technology to mix your drinks for you. Simply go up to the tablet PC’s in the Bionic Bar (note: I’m not making that up) and order your drink, and the robot will make it for you. No word, though, on what you’ll do if the robot breaks down and makes you a root beer float instead of a G&T.
Robots will tend bar at the Bionic Bar aboard Quantum of the Seas. Illustration courtesy of Royal Caribbean.
Incidentally, you’re also going to pay for that drink like never before. Aboard Quantum of the Seas, Royal Caribbean will be largely doing away with the tried-and-tested keycard entry system that is used to access your stateroom and pay for onboard purchases on nearly every other cruise ship afloat. Instead, you’ll wear a bracelet equipped with a Radio Frequency IDentification (RFID) chip that will allow you to gain access to your stateroom.
It’s not terribly discreet – it’s big, blue, and emblazoned with the Royal Caribbean logo. I can’t imagine how the bracelet can be used to accessorize Formal Night portraits.
Royal Caribbean’s new RFID-equipped bracelet will let you in to your stateroom and act as your onboard purchasing device. It also comes at an additional cost. Illustration courtesy of Royal Caribbean.
On a more serious note, I’m critical of the above because it’s actually going to cost you money, too – something Royal Caribbean calls a “nominal fee.” Traditional SeaPass keycards will also be available, which begs the question: did Royal Caribbean figure out how to charge you to access your own stateroom?
What’s more, Royal Caribbean is even developing an app to let you wring every last ounce of mercurial joy from your vacation. With Royal iQ, guests can communicate with each other while onboard Quantum of the Seas. That communication feature will carry an additional surcharge, but the ability to schedule things like spa appointments, shore excursions and dinner reservations will be free of charge – sort of. Those things, after all, also carry additional charges. You can even pick the activities you want to see each day and have your phone program a reminder for you, or let you know if you have scheduling conflicts. That way, you can bring all the excitement and pulse-pounding adrenaline of scheduling your work day to your cruise vacation experience.
Like your iPhone? Good. You’re going to see a whole lot of it on your cruise vacation aboard Quantum of the Seas. Illustration courtesy of Royal Caribbean.
Royal Caribbean also claims you’ll never have to wait in line to board Quantum of the Seas thanks to a totally online check-in process that is designed to have guests – all 4,180 of them – onboard in less than 10 minutes apiece. I admire that, but I am highly skeptical. I don’t know about you, but I can’t get on a domestic flight in under 10 minutes, let alone a cruise ship carrying thousands of guests – even with an electronic boarding pass.
Once onboard, you can track the progress of your newly-dropped-off luggage thanks to RFID-equipped tags that track its every movement onboard the ship and then sends that data to your mobile device. So now when guests are screaming at the overworked staff on embarkation day because their bags haven’t arrived at their stateroom during the first five minutes they’ve been onboard, they can at least yell a location at them, too. It’s all about being helpful.
Here’s why I think all of this (well, most of this) is bad news: a cruise is supposed to be something that frees you from your daily routine. Quantum of the Seas, on the other hand, is going to keep you a slave to your phone and other technological devices more than ever before. And, thanks to the robot bartenders, you don’t even have to have that bothersome small-talk standing in the way of you and your favorite drink. WOW, indeed.
This isn’t the Internet Cafe – it’s the “Guest Relations” desk aboard Quantum of the Seas. Help yourself. Illustration courtesy of Royal Caribbean.
The announcement also hits the throttle on Quantum of the Seas journey into “theme park territory” faster than I’d like to see her go. I hope I’m not alone in that admission. Bumper cars, robot bartenders, skydiving simulators, luggage trackers, wrist-bracelets, do-it-yourself Guest Relations? It’s all too much for me.
There’s also the uncomfortable feeling that increases with each “reveal” the company puts on that Quantum of the Seas is all about technological doodads and not about service. We’ve heard a lot about the “stuff” onboard, and next to nothing about the crew – other than the fact that they, too, will have tablet PC’s, courtesy of the Company. Sure, Royal Caribbean can claim this is the most plugged-in ship afloat, or that she has a mile or two of features that are new and entirely unique to the cruise industry. But is that good? Will people spend seven days having robots make their drinks for them and be continually enthralled the entire time, or will they quickly tire of it and move on to the next bell or whistle? It would be naive to think that all this technology is going to come out of the gate working properly and perfectly and never break.
Royal Caribbean has tweaked the satellite internet aboard Quantum of the Seas – so much so that gamers will be able to play XBOX on their cruise and conduct networked games with people around the world – who aren’t themselves lucky enough to be on a cruise that they’re completely tuning out. Illustration courtesy of Royal Caribbean.
I’d love to be proven wrong. I’d love Quantum of the Seas to come out and WOW me. Sadly, I don’t think Quantum of the Seas is being built for the passengers who got Royal Caribbean where they are today. I think she’s being built solely to cater to those who have never set foot aboard a ship in their lives, who would rather vacation at Six Flags than in the Caribbean.
Royal Caribbean is rounding the corner with Quantum of the Seas, and I’m not sure I like what I see on the other side. As the line itself says, “This Changes Everything.”
To learn more about Quantum of the Seas, visit Royal Caribbean’s Quantum of the Seas website.
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