Monday
Monday Night Raw
Date: December 29, 2014
Location: Verizon Center, Washington D.C.
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield
It's the final show of the year and WWE has managed to double book the show. There's a house show in Virginia tonight, meaning a lot of the roster is going to be there instead of here for Raw. We do however have Cena and Lesnar guaranteed and the potential debut of the Ascension to keep us until the full roster is back to start the new year. Also in some breaking news, Daniel Bryan has a major announcement which could mean his retirement. Let's get to it.
We open with a clip of Edge's retirement a little less than four years ago. That was such a shocking moment and actually got to me a little bit. He and Christian are hosting tonight, which should be a lot of fun if they just let those two have fun.
Here are Edge and Christian to open things up. Chimmel (before doing the voice cracking deal) lists off their resumes and it's hilarious to hear how much more Edge accomplished as a singles guy. Christian thinks we should have this show E&C style, which Edge, who appears to be wearing a Sami Zayn shirt, likes. That means we should have a special edition of the Peep Show, which Edge doesn't like. Why not have it be the Cutting Edge instead of something that sounds like a perverted idea from the 1920s? Instead it's going to be a Cutting Edge Peep Show with special guest Seth Rollins.
The fans aren't thrilled, so Edge makes Rollins vs. Reigns to make them feel better. It's Christian's turn now as he makes Rusev vs. Ziggler in a Champion vs. Champion match......and they'll both be completely naked? Christian: “Maybe just Lana then?” He tries to get the fans back by asking if the fans would like to see Daniel Bryan and I'll let you guess the reaction. We'll wrap it up with a five second pose, but here's Brock Lesnar instead. Of note here, Lawler says that both Edge AND Christian are retired, which I believe is the first official confirmation for Christian.
Heyman says both guys are too damaged to be in the same ring with someone like Lesnar, so Brock won't hurt either of them. Instead, Heyman thinks Lesnar wants to “penetrate the virgin neck” of John Cena. Cue Cena as the Canadians kind of hide in the corner. Cena isn't going to knock Lesnar into 2015 so he doesn't have an excuse at the Rumble. He does have a new year's resolution to take that title off him at the Rumble. Cena grabs Heyman by the throat but throws a charging Lesnar up for the AA, only for the champ to bail to the floor.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Rusev
Non-title. Ziggler gets in a few cheap shots to start but Rusev nails him in the face to take over. This time the announcers talk about how no one has beaten Rusev, but don't suggest Ziggler could be the one to beat him. Instead they're too busy getting in Ziggler buzzwords like “stealing the show”, because getting in buzzwords and catchphrases has replaced the idea of actually calling a match. Ziggler comes back with a dropkick and the swinging DDT as we head to a break.
Back with Rusev in control and putting on a side choke instead of having one on already. We get a full screen replay of Ziggler getting catapulted into the corner from the App, which isn't the worst idea during a chinlock. Dolph fights up and tries a high cross body, only to get caught in the fall away slam. Ziggler escapes that as well and nails a middle rope dropkick to put both guys down. He tries something like the Stinger Splash (which may or may not be a tribute) but has to settle for ducking the superkick and nailing the Fameasser.
It might have injured his knee though, allowing Rusev to throw him by the leg into the corner for a smart move. What isn't a smart move though is trying a splash when Ziggler is down in the corner. Moves like that just get on my nerves because there is no logical reason to try something like that. A kick (clearly missing) to the knee has Ziggler in trouble and Rusev stomps away in the corner for the DQ at 10:10.
Rusev puts Ziggler in the Accolade in the ropes (doesn't really add anything) until Ryback makes the save.
Time to insult fans who are still buying the pay per views, because telling someone they're an idiot for giving you $55 is certainly going to make them want to pay you $10 a month right?
Ryback is still in the ring after a break and he has something to say. Ever since he debuted in the WWE as Ryback (his words), there are a lot of things about him that you don't know about him. He was a guest bell ringer at his first WWE show when he was twelve years old. Then ten years ago he got his start on Tough Enough as the Silverback. We get a clip of Ryback, then known as Ryan Reeves, being eliminated.
After that, he lost his dream job and fell into a deep depression. He didn't talk to his family for over a year and got a job at some barbecue joint in Louisville, Kentucky with only a stack of Wrestlemania DVDs to get him through his time. Then he read a book called the Secret on being positive. It changed his life and shortly thereafter he got rehired by WWE, leading to him making his redebut as part of the Nexus. We see a clip of the awesome Nexus beatdown that introduced us to the Meat Hook.
Then he broke his ankle and leg in three places in a match in Hawaii and missed a long, long time. This led to the debut of the Ryback character, which leads us to a package on Ryback's domination. Now he's here, which brings Ryback to Rusev. This isn't about the USA vs. Russia. It's about one big guy beating up another big guy, because Ryback likes to eat big negative people. Then he looks at someone like Rusev and says FEED ME MORE.
Did I mention that half the roster isn't here tonight and they need to fill in time? I'll give them this though: I'd much rather have a reason to care about someone like Ryback than some lame comedy match or a bunch of chinlocks. This was a far better use of time than I was expecting so at least it could have been worse.
Nikki Bella vs. Natalya
The idea here was that Tyson was wearing a Nikki Bella hat last week and Natalya isn't happy. To continue the annoying run of commentary buzzwords and terms, Cole says a win here could put Natalya in the title hunt. WELL WHAT ELSE HAS SHE BEEN IN FOR WEEKS NOW??? Not that it matters as Natayla kicks Nikki off the apron and into Tyson's arms, only to have the distraction let Nikki hit the Rack Attack for the pin at 1:05. So much for Natalya's push. Cole: “Let's see how things play out on Total Divas this Sunday!”
Naomi comes up to hug Miz in the back, because the producers want to meet with her. She even wishes him luck in the title defense against the Usos.
John Cena came in seventh in some celebrity charity deal that no one has heard of nor cares about.
Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Miz/Damien Mizdow
This is the TLC rematch due to Miz using the Slammy Award for the DQ. The best thing of this match: JBL dubs Mizdow's small titles the Subtitles. The Usos aren't in shirts for a change. Miz hides from Jimmy in the corner to start and of course the fans want Mizdow. They feel each other out a bit until Jimmy sends Miz into the corner for a nice running splash. Off to Jey who eats a chinlock as the announcers, I kid you not, actually talk about the match. Jey goes into slow motion for an uppercut to Miz's jaw before slapping on an armbar.
An even slower double atomic drop have Miz in trouble but Mizdow comes in to do the same motions. He's dedicated if nothing else. Both champions go to the floor and the Usos aren't sure what to think. Jimmy loads up the dive but gets snapped across the top, setting up Miz's big boot for two. Back from a break with Miz in control on Jey but not willing to tag Mizdow. Jey misses an enziguri but makes the hot tag just seconds later. Now the big dive connects but Jimmy comes up favoring his arm or wrist. I always worry about things like that on those dives.
It doesn't seem bad, but Miz nails the low DDT for two. Jey and Mizdow are nowhere to be seen and both guys are down. We see Mizdow down on the floor, but for once he isn't mimicking Miz. There's the Figure Four on Jimmy but he finally makes the rope. Still no sign of Jey. Another Figure Four attempt is countered into Konnan's Tequila Sunrise but Mizdow comes in for the save.
It's Mizdow eating a superkick but Miz grabs a rollup for two. The superkick drops Miz but the Superfly Splash hits Miz's knees. The Skull Crushing Finale plants Jey for.....two? That's not a move you see kicked out of that often. Think about it for a second. Almost no one kicks out of that. The hot tag brings in Jimmy for another superkick and a mostly missed double superkick sets up Jimmy's Superfly Splash to give us new champions at 13:06.
Naomi comes out to celebrate and the Usos say they're going to have a big party with JR's barbecue and champagne. Jimmy says they played Miz to get where they are here and nothing major happens. Cool surprise here and I'd assume it sets up Usos vs. Ascension.
The announcers hype up Bryan's announcement and imply he's retiring.
Video on Shield splitting and the beginnings of Reigns vs. Rollins to set up their match tonight.
Cesaro is in the corner ala Raven for his match but has a mic because he has a few things to get off his chest. 2014 should have been his year. He won the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal at Wrestlemania, but now WWE is telling him that he doesn't connect. That's true, because he delivers instead of connect. And who does he not connect with? The WWE Universe? He doesn't care about connecting with them, because he doesn't care about anything except what happens in this ring. No one in WWE can hold a candle to him inside this ring, and if anyone back there doubts him, come out here and make his day.
Cesaro vs. Bad News Barrett
Barrett: “It's me it's me it's BNB!” He has some bad news for Cesaro: Cesaro may not care about caring with the fans, but this Bull Hammer is connecting with his head. Cesaro nails him in the face to start and stomps Barrett down in the corner. Barrett looks leaner here and seems to be playing to the crowd like a face for the first time. He knocks Cesaro to the floor but gets dropped face first onto the barricade.
Back in and a very nice top rope ax handle drops Barrett, but the announcers are of course ripping on Cesaro for slipping up and saying no one can touch him inside “these four ropes”. You know, because.....well you get the idea by now. Cesaro hits a great looking German suplex but Barrett kicks him in the side of the head for two. The pumphandle slam is countered into the Cesaro Swing but he pops up with the Bull Hammer for the pin at 3:40.
Harper is in the dark again and says people like him are thrown aside like trash. He is a product of our environment and a nightmare come to life. Sweet dreams.
Jack Swagger vs. Luke Harper
Harper knocks him into the corner to start and cranks on Jack's head a bit. A nice dropkick gets two and we hit the Gator Roll. Jack is able to take it outside though and nails a clothesline as we take a break. Back with Harper holding a chinlock and kicking Jack hard enough that JBL stops mocking Cole and calls the match. We hit another chinlock as the filler for this show continues.
Swagger fights up and hits the usual to set up the Patriot Lock. You know Luke isn't tapping to that though so it's a superkick for two. Harper touches the sides of his own head like he's hearing voices for a bizarre bit that totally fits him. The Patriot Lock gets the same result but the Vader Bomb hits knees. Harper's discus lariat (JBL: “Clothesline From Smell!”) is enough for the pin at 9:46.
We recap the opening segment.
Cena is talking about the old times in the back with Edge and Christian until Christian brings up the time Edge beat up Cena's dad. He leaves before death ensues and Cena and Edge have a nice feel good moment to I guess officially bury the hatchet. Wasn't that buried liked five years ago?
Seth Rollins vs. Roman Reigns
Big Show is on commentary. Rollins is tentative to start and gets shoved out to the floor for his efforts. They seem to be treating this like a big deal, which is exactly what they should be doing. These guys are going to be the future of the company and a showdown should matter. Back in and Roman goes after the arm for some psychology, including a ram into the buckle.
Big Show says Rollins is the future and should be the Superstar of the Year. For once I actually agree with him. Reigns runs into a boot in the corner and they head outside for a change. It's Rollins sending him into the corner and we hit the chinlock back inside. Show isn't exactly being impartial on commentary but he's actually entertaining by just cheering for Rollins.
Roman fights up and hits a nice powerbomb to send Rollins outside yet again. That goes nowhere so Reigns puts him in the ropes for the Apron Kick. That's still a cool looking spot, but a distraction by the Stooges lets Rollins knock him into the barricade as we take a break. Back with, of course, Reigns in a chinlock. Seth starts changing strategy by kicking the knee out dropkicking Reigns for two. That ends our interesting idea phase as it's back to the chinlock. Reigns fights up again but we hit chinlock #3 in about two minutes. No following up on the leg kick or anything. Just another chinlock.
The hold is escaped again but Rollins downward spirals him down into the buckle, only to eat a tilt-a-whirl powerslam for two. A belly to back slam gets the same as Big Show is still playing cheerleader. Rollins pops back up with an enziguri and low superkick for two as both guys are down again. This match really doesn't have the energy that it should, but the fans haven't been all that interested in most of the stuff they've seen all night. The Curb Stomp misses and Roman sidesteps the springboard knee, setting up the Superman Punch. Not that it matters as Big Show comes in for the DQ at 16:20.
Big Show throws Reigns over the announcers' table and shoves all the equipment on top of him. Cole makes a big point of Reigns' leg being crushed so this might be an injury angle.
Post break, Rollins promises to offer a New Year's toast to John Cena on the Cutting Edge Peep Show.
We recap Wyatt vs. Ambrose, who will be having an ambulance match next week.
Bray Wyatt, sitting in the back of an ambulance, says everything must come full circle, like an ambulance taking you to a place where life begins an ends. It all ends next week but Dean died long ago. Bray and Bray alone has his soul. He closes the doors and the ambulance drives away.
Here's Bryan, who JBL declares as being back despite not being gone more than a few weeks at most. Daniel says it's an honor to be in this ring every single time. Who would have thought that a small kid from Aberdeen, Washington who was labeled a B+ player could have main evented Wrestlemania? No one, except for the fans. Thanks to the people, he beat HHH, Randy Orton and Batista in one night in front of 75,000 people. Five days later, he married the woman of his dreams to complete the greatest week of his life.
Then everything changed. Two days after their honeymoon ended, his dad died. Bryan was here wrestling that night and wasn't there for his dad. Then a few weeks later, he had a career changing neck injury, and all he could do was sit at home on his couch and watch. All he wanted to do was be here in front of these people competing because it's all that can take the pain away. He's starting to cry as he says this.
No one cheered louder than he did when Ziggler got rid of the Authority. It was a great moment but it hurt because he couldn't be there in the ring. He talked to everyone including Edge, who knows a thing or two about career ending injuries. You reach a point where you have to think about making a decision. He isn't sure if all of this is worth it or not.
The fans all say NO, but Bryan wanted to make this announcement in front of all of the people. Is his career over? NO. That is not his announcement, because he is ready to fight and compete. His announcement: he will be in the 2015 Royal Rumble! Now THAT woke the crowd up.
Edge and Christian are playing the kazoos when Miz and Mizdow come up. Christian says Miz needs a Tic Tac and Edge has a puppet for a stunt double. They'll be getting a rematch tonight.....but not for the title and not against the Usos. Mizdow is watching the puppet.
Miz/Damien Mizdow vs. Ascension
We already open with a gaffe, as the Ascension's combined weight is listed as 480lbs but Cole says Konnor weighs 290 and Viktor 240. Miz immediately hides on the floor, leaving Mizdow to take a big power beating. The Fall of Man (high/low with a running back elbow from Viktor) is enough for the pin at 1:10. This worked.
Rollins would like Lesnar to join he and Cena in the ring next.
It's time for the first ever Cutting Edge Peep Show with special guest the Walking Pile of Suck (Christian came up with that one) Seth Rollins. The Stooges come out carrying champagne and are dubbed the Geek Squad by the Canadians. Rollins says Edge and Christian pioneered a generation and he might not be here without then. Edge and Christian see this as condescending, but Rollins goes on to talk about what a great year he had.
He ended the Shield, won Money in the Bank, should have been named Superstar of the Year, and has become the future of WWE. Who else has had a better year? “Cena?” “Daniel Bryan?” “Sting?” Edge: “The Doctor of Style Slick?” Christian: “He was a jive soul bro who always lied to his friends.” Rollins, somewhat bewildered by the reference, says he wants to start a new year. The old Seth Rollins is dead and it's going to be a new version next year.
First of all, Rollins would like Big Show to come out here. Show comes out applauding Rollins, but Rollins gets nothing when he requests Cena. Edge thinks it's due to Rollins' lack of charisma. Apparently Rollins wouldn't have charisma if he had a live sex celebration right here with Big Show. Seth still wants Cena out here and nails Christian with the briefcase. Edge gets in his face but is surrounded and injured.
The villains put Edge's head onto the briefcase until Cena runs down to ringside. Rollins stops him at ringside and says Cena knows what Seth wants. The announcers point out that Rollins wants the Authority back as Seth says Edge is a husband and father. If Cena wants Edge to be with his wife and play with his kid, Cena better give Rollins what he wants. Let's find out if Cena is Mr. Hustle, Loyalty and Respect. Bring the Authority back or Edge gets paralyzed.
Cena finally says ok but Rollins makes Noble go to him with a mic to make sure it's clear. John confirms that the Authority is back but Rollins loads up the Curb Stomp anyway. Cena comes in for the save but the numbers are too high. The Curb Stomp lays out Cena as Big Show tries to start an Authority chant. Lesnar and Heyman come out as Rollins and Big Show celebrate. Heyman shakes Rollins' hand and the Authority just happens to be here to celebrate. They were there the night after Survivor Series, so they weren't even gone five weeks. JBL is thrilled to end the show.
Results
Dolph Ziggler b. Rusev via DQ when Rusev wouldn't stop stomping in the corner
Nikki Bella b. Natalya – Rack Attack
Usos b. Miz/Damien Mizdow – Superfly Splash to Miz
Bad News Barrett b. Cesaro – Bullhammer
Luke Harper b. Jack Swagger – Discus lariat
Roman Reigns b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Big Show interfered
Ascension b. Miz/Damien Mizdow – Fall of Man to Mizdow
Tuesday
Nothing.
Wednesday
Ethan Carter III and Abyss have re-signed with TNA.
Randy Orton is having surgery to repair a deviated septum and will be out for a few weeks.
WWE has signed indy star Uhaa Nation.
Thursday
Jerry Lawler has been hospitalized with diverticulitis. No word on how much if any time he'll miss.
NXT
Date: January 1, 2015
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Renee Young, Corey Graves
We're starting a new year here and Sami Zayn is still on the shelf due to his attack at the hands of Kevin Owens. Last week was the Best of 2014 special with the only plot advancement being Charlotte defeating Sasha Banks in an R-Evolution rematch. I'm sure there will be other rematches in the future so let's get to it.
Opening sequence.
Lucha Dragons vs. Jason Jordan/Tye Dillinger
Non-title. Dillinger chops Kalisto up against the ropes to start so Kalisto comes back with a three bounce springboard armdrag. Off to Jordan who tries the different approach of a release fall away slam to put the champions in early trouble. Jordan mockingly bows to Cara on the apron to allow some cheating. Renee keeps talking about how pretty the villains are but still manages to be adorable. That takes talent.
Dillinger slams Kalisto down again and draws a nice Tye chant. Back up and Kalisto flips forward to escape a backdrop and the hot tag brings in Cara. Everything breaks down and Kalisto takes Jordan out with a corkscrew dive, allowing Cara to hit a super victory roll for the pin on Dillinger at 3:07.
The Vaudevillains come out and jump the champions post match.
CJ Parker is worried about facing Baron Corbin but Bull Dempsey comes in and tells him that taking down Corbin is for the better good. This sounded a bit like a bounty.
NXT moves back to Wednesdays in two weeks.
Enzo and Cass are here to introduce Carmella's opponent and the BLUE PANTS chant is just ridiculous. The guys give her an over the top entrance, complete with superlatives and a hummed theme song. Cass: “Inspired by Sami Zayn and straight from the discount rack!” Enzo: “Since we have last seen Blue Pants, she has met up with Steve and gotten a Blue's Clue.”
Carmella vs. Blue Pants
Carmella runs her over and steps on Blue Pants's hair, thus freaking Renee out again. Enzo gets on the apron and.....dances I think? The distraction lets Blue Pants grab a small package and BLUE PANTS WINS!!! Cass: “DUH-DUH-DA-DA!” Match ran 1:13.
This is another reason I love NXT: if this sort of reaction took place on Raw, WWE would make sure to either destroy Blue Pants and have people make stupid jokes about her or never bring her back in the first place. Here they give her a win to advance a story. The audience is happy, Blue Pants doesn't have to go anywhere else (though she could) and Carmella's story is advanced. What more can you ask for?
Carmella is mad at Enzo post match but Cass breaks it up.
Baron Corbin vs. CJ Parker
Parker's sign: “You can break my sign but you'll never break my spirit.” Fans: “BREAK HIS SPIRIT!” Bull Dempsey is at ringside and watches snake eyes and a big boot set up End of Days for the pin at 0:29.
Post match Corbin asks if Dempsey is going to stand there or if they're going to do this. Dempsey goes after him but referees quickly break it up.
Regal announces that Sami Zayn will be back next week. Curtis Axel comes in and says he's barging in on Regal's interview. The boss never got back to him, even though Axel is a former Intercontinental Champion who has beaten HHH and John Cena. That sounds good to Regal and he makes Axel vs. Itami next week. Regal just made an announcement and a match for next week. His total time on screen: 74 seconds.
Here's Charlotte for a chat. She's asked what her new challenge will be and the Blue Pants chant starts up. Charlotte tells the crowd to not chant while she's talking, even though she wasn't saying anything yet. NXT is revolutionizing women's wrestling but she's beaten Sasha Banks twice now. Cue Banks and Lynch to surround her but Natalya comes out for the save before anything happens. That was a very odd response to the fans from Charlotte when she's clearly been a face for at least a month now.
The Vaudevillains get their title rematch next week.
We get a video from Sami, who is home for the holidays but doesn't know what to say about what's happened to him. He worked so hard to win the NXT Title but he can only think about Kevin Owens. When he comes back he'll say everything to the fans and to Owens himself. This was shot with a handheld camera instead of a professional camera and it gave the video a much more realistic and gritty feel.
Kevin Owens sits down with Renee Young. He didn't steal anyone's moment because Sami got his big celebration. That's enough of the interview for him though because he doesn't like being accused of things.
Hideo Itami/Finn Balor vs. Ascension
I know Balor's face paint (not here this time) got all the attention but I really like Hideo's gi inspired attire. They go at it immediately with the dream team taking over. Ascension bails before the seated corner dropkicks can connect until it settles down to Viktor vs. Balor. Finn charges into the corner with a running chop before it's off to Itami, who the fans are really excited to see.
Back to Finn for more forearms and chops before Itami drops a knee for two. We hit the chinlock on Viktor as a Hideo chant starts up. Finn does a nice jump over the ropes to avoid a charging Viktor before kicking Konnor off the apron. The distraction lets Viktor get in a big uppercut to knock Balor outside though as we take a break.
Balor fights out of a chinlock from Konnor but the Ascension uses their old school double team beatdown to keep him in trouble. It worked for the LOD and Demolition so why not here? Off to a reverse chinlock from Konnor for a bit before a big uppercut gets two. Finn gets spiked like a football to break up a hot tag attempt as the beating continues. Slugging it out with Viktor goes as well as you would expect it to go so it's back to Konnor to just hammer Balor in the head.
The Pele Kick finally gives Finn an opening and the double tag brings in Itami and Viktor as things speed up. Hideo snaps Viktor's neck across the top rope and scores with a top rope clothesline, only to walk into an STO for two. Itami teases the GTS again to another big reaction (and a GTS chant) but Konnor makes the save. Finn takes Konnor to the floor, leaving Itami to kick Viktor in the head for the pin at 16:15.
Results
Lucha Dragons b. Tye Dillinger/Jason Jordan – Super victory roll to Dillinger
Blue Pants b. Carmella – Small package
Baron Corbin b. CJ Parker – End of Days
Hideo Itami/Finn Balor b. Ascension – Kick to Viktor's head
Friday
Mr. Anderson, Madison Rayne, Kurt Angle and Jesse Godderz have re-signed with TNA.
Smackdown
Date: January 2, 2015
Location: Norfolk Scope Arena, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tom Phillips, John Bradshaw Layfield
So the Authority is back because WWE can't wait more than a few weeks without having a full time heel GM running the show. Other than that, Edge and Christian are allegedly in charge tonight, despite filing a multi-million dollar lawsuit against WWE on Main Event, because if there's one thing WWE fans like more than evil authority figures, it's the fun characters filing lawsuits. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of the ending of Raw. Seth Rollins is awesome in this heel role and comes off as evil when he's given the chance. I remember thinking that if he really wants to nail this, he'll go to stomp Edge anyway, and that's exactly what he did.
A somewhat subdued E & C open things up as Cole brings up the lawsuit. Edge (in a Cesaro shirt this time) says he's played the scene from Raw in his head over and over and it's his fault. He apologizes for what happened, but there's nothing they can do physically to Rollins. Don't worry though because there's a John Cena sized missile coming after Rollins very soon. They have an amazing show planned and there's nothing the Authority can do about it.
Before they can though, we see a limo on screen with the Stooges alone getting out. They head to the ring with Mercury holding a document. Edge suggests they climb under the bottom rope next time because it's better suited to their height. The document is a prepared statement from the Authority, which says they didn't know what Rollins was going to do on Monday.
The Authority officially apologizes and won't interfere with Edge and Christian running Smackdown tonight, but the Stooges will be their official observers tonight. Edge smiles and makes his first match of the night: the Stooges vs. Ryback. The Stooges panic so Edge makes it Ryback vs. Big Show. Christian agrees that that's a main event in any arena in the country, but thinks he can one up Edge with Rusev vs. Roman Reigns. Noble says this is going on their permanent files. Edge: “You know I don't work here right?” He gets in their faces and says he and Christian are running things tonight, period.
Erick Rowan vs. Bray Wyatt
Bray tells Rowan to lay down because they're not meant to fight. Erick goes right at him and drives Bray face first into the buckle but misses a charge into the post. Bray asks why Rowan is doing this to him and puts Rowan on the mat with his head against the post. He tries what looked like a clothesline and clearly didn't touch Rowan's head so I'm not sure what effect that was supposed to have. I know a lot of moves don't connect but you can usually tell what they were supposed to be.
Back in and Rowan pops up because his genius IQ (remember that?) insulates his skull or something. He slams Bray around a few times and the fans buy into the false hope of the comeback attempt. Rowan slowly picks Bray up and says he's sorry, only to eat Sister Abigail for the pin at 4:02.
Bray looks remorseful after getting the pin, almost like he feels sorry for having to hurt Rowan. Wyatt grabs the mic and says he gave their only begotten son. If he's willing to do that to someone he loves, what is he going to do to Dean Ambrose on Monday? It's been fun, but all good things must come to an end. Their story ends with Dean in the back of an ambulance. Follow the buzzards.
Edge and Christian make sure the Stooges hear them practicing the Five Second Pose. The Stooges cut it off and do it themselves in a bit that really isn't as funny as they were shooting for.
R-Truth/Usos vs. Goldust/Stardust/Adam Rose
Rose tries to do WHAT'S UP and gets booed out of the space he's standing in (there was nowhere near enough of a reaction for it to be out of the room). Truth even takes us back to the past with a WHOMP THERE IT IS! Adam tries the same and gets rolled up for two. Jey comes in and is quickly sent to the floor as we take a break. Back with powerslamming Jey for two. Goldust: “COME ON KEY!” At least that's what it sounded like.
Off to Stardust to stand on Jey's chest as the announcers go over the history of the Dusts and the Usos. They even manage to make that sound dull as there's just no emotion in Phillips' voice and it's clear that he's just reading this off a piece of paper in front of him. Go watch some Gorilla and Jesse to learn how to sound interested in something, even if there's nothing interesting to talk about.
Jey gets popped in the mouth by Rose but knocks Adam and Stardust off the apron before backdropping Goldust out next to them. Jimmy (Uso, not Little Jimmy) comes in with some clotheslines for Rose and there goes the orange shirt. Everything breaks down and Truth dives onto Goldust, setting up the superkick and Superfly Splash to Rose for the pin at 8:20.
The Rosebuds try to go after Truth and the Usos and are dispatched with ease. The Usos steal their hats and it's time to dance.
We look back at Bryan's announcement from Raw. That's such good news to hear as he's worked so hard to get where he is and now he gets to keep going.
Ryback vs. Big Show
We get a clip of Ryback's big speech on Monday where he talked about his career, including the bad leg injury he suffered back in 2010. The fans look so bored as Big Show comes through the curtain. Show easily shoves Ryback out to the floor and drags him back in by his head. Back in and Ryback drops him with some middle rope ax handles, but unfortunately that's the extent of Randy Savage's influence on this match.
We take a break and come back with both guys trading clubbing blows until Big Show drops him with a boot. Show goes after the leg, showing some thinking after Ryback mentioned the ankle and leg injuries almost ending his career. He takes Ryback's knee pad down and lifts him up by the leg to stay on it. Off to an old school Lasso From El Paso but Ryback is right next to the ropes. I miss that hold but it wasn't as good as the Haas of Pain. Big Show slams him down, making sure that the leg hits the ropes.
Ryback sends him out to the floor for a breather before firing off some shoulder blocks. A Thesz Press and Warrior Splash have Show in trouble but Ryback has to limp for a bit to pretend he knows how to sell. Doing your usual offense and then limping isn't the same thing as selling an injury. The chokeslam is countered into a spinebuster but the Russian flag drops to break up the Meat Hook. The distraction lets Big Show KO Ryback to the floor for the countout at 11:30.
JBL tries to save Ryback by saying he wasn't completely out cold from the KO. In other words, he was starting to move his limbs at six. That's his consolation prize. Rusev comes after Ryback but takes a Meat Hook to knock him outside again.
Christian is in the bathroom so Jamie Noble goes in to keep an eye on him. A woman screams and Edge says that was the women's bathroom. COMEDY!
Cesaro/Tyson Kidd vs. Los Matadores
Thankfully they haven't used the rumored name The Masters Of The WWE Universe for Kidd and Cesaro yet. They say they're glad the Authority is back and want the titles in an inset interview. Fernando runs into Kidd's elbow to start and his suicide dive hits Cesaro's uppercut. Back in and Kidd hammers away before it's off to Cesaro for a chinlock. Not the most exciting stuff in the world here.
They pick things up a bit with the Cesaro Swing into the dropkick from Kidd. That's a really good spot when they can time it right. Kidd gets dropkicked out of the air and the lukewarm tag brings in Diego. Everything breaks down and Diego gets caught in a Cesaro powerbomb with Kidd adding a Blockbuster for the pin at 4:02.
Dean Ambrose vs. Curtis Axel
The match never starts as Ambrose goes after Axel before the bell and lays him out with Dirty Deeds.
Ambrose grabs the mic and walks up the ramp, saying he hopes Bray is listening. They have the first ambulance match in the history of Monday Night Raw to kick off 2015. Dean walks up to an ambulance next to the ramp and promises to run Bray over, then break all of his fingers, then run him over again, then attach him to the ambulance and drag him around the arena. Then he'll FINALLY put him into the ambulance and drive him away for a Happy New Year.
Ascension says first it was Hawk and Animal, then it was Ax and Smash, but now it's Viktor and Konnor. I like that they're acknowledging that they're a modern version of the old school power tag team.
We look at the end of Raw again. Lesnar standing off in the background and looking annoyed intrigues me.
Ascension vs. ???/???
Ascension has gained 21lbs combined since Raw as they came in at a laughable 480 there and 501 here. Viktor fires off elbows in the corner to jobber #1 before it's off to the 280lb Konnor, allegedly putting Viktor at 221. I have a problem believing he's within a few pounds of CM Punk's listed weight. After beating on #1 some more, the Fall of Man ends Jobber #2 at 1:20.
Edge and Christian are in the Authority's office when the Stooges come in and say they need to get it ready for the Authority's return. Is there a reason they're setting up an office in Virginia when Raw is being held in Corpus Christi, Texas? The Stooges leave and the Canadians draw on the Authority's Muscle and Fitness cover.
Rusev vs. Roman Reigns
Non-title. Feeling out process to start with Rusev getting the first blows in as he stomps Reigns down in the corner. They're being very liberal with the piped in chants again tonight. Reigns nails a quick clothesline to put Rusev on the floor and we take a break. Back with Reigns fighting out of a front facelock and snapping Rusev's throat over the top rope. Rusev takes him down to the mat with a waistlock and the fans just go silent. The Russian mixes things up with a chinlock and the release fall away slam for two. Yet another chinlock makes me groan out loud.
Reigns blocks a ram into the buckle but Rusev throws him out to the floor. Back in and they shove each other a few times until Reigns nails some running clotheslines. A dropkick stops the Superman Punch but Reigns nails the second attempt. Reigns has to throw Rusev back inside and here's the required Big Show interference. He doesn't touch Reigns but eats a Superman Punch so we're not done yet. The jumping superkick gets two but Reigns pops up with the spear, drawing in Big Show for the DQ at 13:12.
Another thing working against this match was how obvious the ending was. The only question was whether it would be Ryback, Big Show or both guys interfering to cause the DQ. In other words, we sat through a boring match with an obvious ending to continue a feud that not a lot of people want to see to end a really dull show. Happy New Year people.
Post match Big Show spears Reigns and loads up a chokeslam, only to be slammed face first into the table. Show loads up another spear but misses and goes flying over the announcers' table. Reigns turns the table over on Show to finally end the night.
Results
Bray Wyatt b. Erick Rowan – Sister Abigail
Usos/R-Truth b. Adam Rose/Goldust/Stardust – Superfly Splash to Rose
Big Show b. Ryback via countout
Cesaro/Tyson Kidd b. Los Matadores – Powerbomb/Blockbuster combo to Diego
Ascension b. ???/??? – Fall of Man to #1
Roman Reigns b. Rusev via DQ when Big Show interfered
Saturday
Nothing.
Sunday
The WWE Network will launch in the UK on January 19.
Quick Results
Monday Night Raw
Dolph Ziggler b. Rusev via DQ when Rusev wouldn't stop stomping in the corner
Nikki Bella b. Natalya – Rack Attack
Usos b. Miz/Damien Mizdow – Superfly Splash to Miz
Bad News Barrett b. Cesaro – Bullhammer
Luke Harper b. Jack Swagger – Discus lariat
Roman Reigns b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Big Show interfered
Ascension b. Miz/Damien Mizdow – Fall of Man to Mizdow
NXT
Lucha Dragons b. Tye Dillinger/Jason Jordan – Super victory roll to Dillinger
Blue Pants b. Carmella – Small package
Baron Corbin b. CJ Parker – End of Days
Hideo Itami/Finn Balor b. Ascension – Kick to Viktor's head
Smackdown
Bray Wyatt b. Erick Rowan – Sister Abigail
Usos/R-Truth b. Adam Rose/Goldust/Stardust – Superfly Splash to Rose
Big Show b. Ryback via countout
Cesaro/Tyson Kidd b. Los Matadores – Powerbomb/Blockbuster combo to Diego
Ascension b. ???/??? – Fall of Man to #1
Roman Reigns b. Rusev via DQ when Big Show interfered