2013-12-13

I've heard a lot of people talk about how much they liked the Championship Ascension ceremony. And while it was a fairly well done segment and the ending was pretty neat, I hated a lot of things about it, and most of it was John Cena spouting gibberish.

Now if you're someone who hates nitpicking and don't care if their protagonists are total bullshitters that lie through their teeth, then this thread isn't for you. Run along please, because I'm gonna try debunking every single piece of bullshit Cena spouted last Monday night. It's gonna be a long post, mostly due to the quotes, but here you go:

Quote:

You hear that? The reason they cheer for him is because he works and he earns it. A guy like you has been given every single thing in the WWE. I'm about to hit you in the face with some truth. Ever since you came to the WWE training center, you were untouchable. You were bulletproof. You couldn't be fired. Nobody can touch Randy Orton, because THEY liked you.

We'll never know how truthful that is, but if Cena is saying that being 3rd-generation makes you untouchable, that's ridiculous. Way too many multi-generational wrestlers have failed hard for that to be true. And frankly, if anyone is untouchable, it's Cena. He could take a piss in the ring on live TV and after a mini-hiatus, THE CHAMP WILL BE HEREEE 2 weeks later.

Quote:

And then you get to the WWE and what happens? You get sheltered by the best performer in the business. Nothing's changed, Randy. All you do is hide behind Triple H. All you do is hide behind Stephanie McMahon.

I'll let this one pass, because this is basically storyline. Yeah he's hiding behind Triple H and Stephanie NOW, but you would have to ignore that he was a total badass out on his own for the last 3 years. Still, I get why it's a fair point considering current circumstances.

Quote:

And you've got the balls to stand in this ring and say you are better than everybody here?? Say you're bigger than ALL OF THIS???

This is just a bullshit accusation considering Randy Orton NEVER said that. He never alluded to being better than the WWE, Orton said he was the Best Wrestler of his generation, that's it, and hell, Cena praised Punk a few minutes later for calling himself Best in the World. This was a ridiculous double-standard on his part.

Quote:

You have always blamed everybody else for your failures. You pointed fingers and you make excuses.

Says the guy who said on live TV that his matches (with Miz) sucked because he had to carry a green wrestler. The same guy who said Sheamus didn't really beat him because it was a "fluke". The one who is ALWAYS freaking crying about how his opponents are cheating and beating him instead of looking in the mirror and realizing he's the dumbass who keeps falling for it once a month.

Again, I know it's wrestling, but come on, Cena is MR. EXCUSE. If I had more time on my hands, I would cut up a video of all his "I was cheated" promos to drive the point home.

Quote:

You've had behavior problems IN THE RING. You've had behavior problems OUTSIDE the ring.

True point. Amy Webber, shitting in the bag, the dishonorable discharge, the trashed hotel room, the wellness policy violations, Randy has fucked up hard. But he even made a whole DVD where he took responsibility for it all. Sure, you can keep heckling him for his past mistakes, but it just rings untrue considering they're not relevant to his character today.

Quote:

And the sad thing is, the TLC match this Sunday is the biggest in WWE history. That's why everybody is here tonight. This changes the very course in WWE. But you want these championships because you're selfish. Because you feel you deserve it.

Now this is the one that just most PISSES ME OFF. Cena randomly decided one day that it didn't make any sense for WWE to have 2 world champions so he challenged Orton to a unification match for no practical reason whatsoever. And ORTON is the selfish one?? Well of course Orton wants to WIN, that's what everyone wants, but to say he's selfish when Cena is the one who proposed to hoard all the titles for himself is absurd.

Quote:

And maybe, just maybe, if you hold onto this you can finally walk around the rest of the superstars and say HEY GUYS, LOOK, I'M FINALLY WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE TEN YEARS AGO.

I don't get this point at all. 10 years ago on 12/13/03, he kicked RVD's ass for the IC title at Armageddon to begin one of the most solid reigns in that championship's history. He was on his way to being one of the top guys, and six months later, he won the World title to become the youngest champion in WWE history. How was he a failure 10 years ago?? That's some mighty bullshit.

Quote:

Every single time, I have held either of these championships, my business card reads the same, If you want some, Come Get some. And here is the real truth. Whether these guys in the ring like me or not, they respect me because they know it. Whether it's Triple H, or Shawn Michales in a WrestleMania match. Whether it's Booker T...

Questionable re-writing of history. Bryan said he wouldn't even slap him before their match because he DOESN'T respect him. Shawn Michaels refused to shake his hand at WrestleMania because he was pissed (LEGIT, and eventually part of kayfabe as well). I could go on, but almost everyone in that ring has had a "I don't respect you" promo geared at Cena.

Quote:

Hell, nobody wanted to give Dolph Ziggler a chance. What did I do? I said let's fight.

First off, Dolph had a bunch of golden title matches against both Punk and Edge before he ever stepped foot in the ring with Cena. And when Cena did "give him a chance", he forced him to put his MitB title (which he fought tooth and nail for and won fair and fucking square) shot on the line after Cena foolishly lost his. That's "giving him a chance"? Oh please.

Quote:

Everybody said it was a bad idea to give CM Punk a championship match when he was going to leave the WWE; all I saw was the best in the world.

They said it was a bad idea because they thought Cena was going to lose. To prove he wouldn't, Cena even put his career on the line, and he still lost. He then pussied out on the stipulation and stayed with WWE anyway. What a champ.

Quote:

Hell, the only legitimate championship shot Daniel Bryan has ever had was against ME and he WON! So I'll say it right here in front of your home town, if I win on Sunday, I look forward to the rematch, a FAIR rematch.

What do these 4 events have in common?

• December 2nd Smackdown (2011)

• Tables, Ladders and Chairs (2011)

• Extreme Rules (2012)

• Money in the Bank (2012)

Would it be that they all featured LEGITIMATE world championship opportunities for the one and only Daniel Bryan? Yeah, thought so. And frankly, Cena is in total denial when he says that his match with Bryan was legitimate. Triple H was guest referee and was going to screw whoever won anyway. No different than the rest of his matches, where Triple H always had a plan to screw him over.

Quote:

See, that's what being a champion is all about: A certain level of respect. And last week, I wasn't going to take you out, I just wanted to make a statement: That when the chips are down I can be just as brutal as you. So right now, I'm gonna make one more statement because I know exactly what this means. This Sunday will be physical, and it will be brutal, and I will BE at my very best. I just hope you are too. Because after this Sunday, the last thing anyone is going to want to deal with is just another Randy Orton excuse. Good luck on Sunday, you're gonna need it. 

Yeah the last thing anyone wants is a Randy Orton excuse, but don't worry, once Triple H screws Cena, the Cena excuses will be running wild!! Even if it doesn't happen, it will only take a few weeks for someone to do everything they can to win right under Cena's nose and for Cena to balk at them for fluking their way to victory instead of blaming himself for falling for it.

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