What bugs me with Berlin tourist guides, usually, is how general they are on selling the city. God knows everything is sold to you nowadays: even experiences. They’re bundled, packaged and sold. But come on, at least sell the right experiences. Berlin, like most global metropoles, offers many things that are becoming universal: designer cafés with stripped walls and ramshackle furniture, experimental fusion food with crazy ingredients, and craft stores selling fruity beer and clothes made out of felt (DIE!!). It’s great that we have nice things here, too, and don’t have to travel to New York to experience the dandy chic. But let’s be real: these things and experiences are not what make Berlin, well, Berlin
I know what you’re all looking for. You want to experience the unique, almighty, one-and-only Berlin: the people, the history, the inbetweens. You want to be right in the middle. Want to go home with pockets full of incredible stories. Unfortunately, it takes a little bit of knowing your ways and shutting down your phones and getting lost and getting to know people to experience Berlin. It takes living, and time. It takes not preparing and drifting away. I’d totally give that advice for any trip you’re taking, by the way.
The Brandenburger Tor is fine and all, but it’s not why people love Berlin.
BUT. It’s cool if you don’t or can’t do that. I’ve long bid goodbye to the ideals of traveling. The good news is that you can still experience many incredible Berlin moments on your short itinerary. How? By knowing why you’re visiting places. Now, I hate history lessons as much as the next ignorant teenager, but there are plenty of ways to discover historical information without taking a class. The coolest part about experiencing Berlin, rather than buying loads of crap, is that it doesn’t cost much. You will get closer to the city and it’s fantastic atmosphere by navigating through a heterogenous constellation of objects, architecture, streets, people, malls, art and products.
Also, I did this definite list of ultimate things you need to do in Berlin because if people keep recommending BLACKLIGHT MINI GOLF I’m just going to fuck something UP (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
I am eventually going to have all of this printed on one business card so nobody can ever bother me with mails, calls and texts again about “what to do when you visit Berlin” . If you’re wondering what you should and must do and see in Berlin and you’ve already flipped through all of the usual tourist guides, THIS LIST IS FOR YOU. The list of spending a weekend in Berlin is also for you, although that is just as general as the tour guides I was initially complaining about.
THE ULTIMATE, DEFINITE BERLIN TO-DO LIST
And by “definite” I mean “this is what Sara thinks is cool”.
BOROS COLLECTION
I am a horrible, terrible tour guide, but I’m loads of fun: with me, you never have to see the insides of a museum, ever. The Boros Bunker was a surprising exception. This is a private collection of contemporary art by the German couple Boros, who bought a former WW2 bunker to display parts of their relevant collection. You have to book in advance, and every visit is guided, which is great, because even if you know as much about art as me, you’ll gain insight to the Bunkers history as well as to all the great artists and their (mostly interactive, conceptual and impressive) works. It is a much better choice than doing an underground tour of the other bunkers. ESPECIALLY DO NOT GO TO THE BERLIN STORY BUNKER. For real, that’s just whack (unless you’re with kids, but I don’t know what kids like). So even if you’re not interested in art, I’d still highly recommend a trip.
There is no inside view because they don’t let you take photographs.
TEMPELHOF SUNSET
You know what’s pretty cool about Berlin? We have 3 airports and only one of them is functional. The second is an expensive running gag and the 3rd is all for you. Tempelhof, loaded with history, is one of the largest buildings ever constructed. It was conceived by Nazis poster-child architecture Alfred Speer, who, together with Hitler, had the megalomaniac vision of Germania. Tempelhof was part of that plan. Tempelhof was also shut down in 2009 because apparently Berlin didn’t need more airports (lol if they’d only known how badly they’d fuck up), and the property was going to be used as new construction grounds. Well, Berlins senate didn’t consider the angry Berliners, who sure as hell did not want their historical Tempelhof — also the site of the famous Berlin Airlift — to become the next Potsdamer Platz (i.e. luxury housing and ugly architecture), so they called for a referendum and voilá, Tempelhofs tarmac is now the biggest urban public park; even bigger than Central Park in New York. I recommend you grab a good book about the insane Germania plans and start reading on the history of Tempelhof while there. Grab a blanket in the summer and some bottles of wine and chill out, or rent a bike and ride the approximately 7 km circumference. If it’s too cold, then opt for a tour inside the building, which is now offices and an emergency camp for refugees, but still has some of the elements left of the American occupation (like a basketball court).
RAVE
I know. It sounds super generic. “Just go out” is appropriate for any city. But in fact, I’ve come to appreciate Berlins nightlife even more after traveling to various metropoles of the world, and always returning disappointed.
Berlin’s rave and techno history is just as weird and fucked up as its overall history, and all of the details (which you can read up on here) led to a perfect infrastructure. Yes, clubbing isn’t the same as ten years ago, even in Berlin. But it’s SO MUCH BETTER than anywhere else in the world I’ve been. Why? There is public transport all night, cover fee and drinks are cheap, and the circus of love (aka drugs) is honest and hedonistic. It’s not (only) about the music. It’s about a carefree society that usually doesn’t care about color, gender or sexual orientation. That’s the spirit of Berlin. That’s why people love Berghain: yes, the line ups are good, but they are good all over the world. Berghain is so popular because it’s consequent in enforcing the freedom of its visitors. There’s humility in dancing, in being naked, in demonstrating sexual desire. This is part of Berlins history, and even the shadiest, binge-drinking and completely out-of-line tourists can feel this while queuing up. There is no curfew, and partying is not just for the night: why stop when you can continue through Sunday? Not every club is like this, of course. I recommend trying Berghain on Sunday afternoons or Sysyphus. I don’t even particularly like Sysyphus but oh, how much better it is than ANY poshed up clichée Russian-blonde-boobs-and-VIP-champagne shithole with piles and piles of idiots. I never knew how much I missed raving in Berlin til I had to go out in another city. Still gives me the creeps. Even London sucked.
SUNFLOWER SEEDS ORANIENSTRASSE
The first Berlin guide that I got advised me to go to Kreuzberg’s colorful Oranienstraße and “experience the Turkish influence”. Guess what? Ain’t no Turkish influence if you ask me. Oranienstraße is nice for a little bit of strolling, sure, but unless you’re also fascinated by the magnitudes of ugly of the Kottbusser Tor architecture, there’s nothing to have on Oranienstraße that can’t be had anywhere else. Oh, except — if you come in the early evening hours, sit down at Smyrna Kuruyemis, a Turkish seed shop. Have some black tea. Enjoy learning how to split seeds with your tongue (no hands), lean back into the “Turkish atmosphere of Oranienstraße”, and watch the people pass by, all on their ways to meet friends, returning from home, making some noise on the weekend. In the summer, you might want to get some seeds to take away and sit at a Späti or in the park with your friends. Berlin is all about chilling out, so get into it.
The Bus 100 Tour
The 100 bus is a public transport bus with two floors. It does a one way trip from Alexanderplatz to Bahnhof Zoo across central Berlin, which is great if you want to see all the important landmarks. And it’s one of the things you SHOULD do if you can’t ride a bike. In fact, even if you have a bike you should follow the route of the bus. Although there is no guide, you can easily identify the landmarks on the way and hop on/off with a day pass ticket. Beware that most tourists know this easy way to get around, also it’s a very convenient bus anyway, so expect it to be crowded. Pro-Tip: climb up the Siegessäule for a very nice view.
Berlins Brutal Architecture
London might have more remnants of brutal architecture, but it leaves a much more memorable imprint in Berlin (in my very, very humble expert opinion). Because it seems so displaced, scattered around the city, and just appears in your view suddenly. You could construct your own tour, or take an actual tour (which I haven’t tested). The thing about brutalism is that it makes for great pictures and actually tells you more about Berlin than a Mauerwalk (although I don’t want to diss the Mauerwalk): because of the geographical divide, you can see the architectural differences between the East and the West. While the East was showcasing powerful Soviet constructions, the Allies-controlled Berlin was flirting with modernity and architecture styles that were “high fashion” in the West.
As for brutalism as sign of modernity, most people misunderstand the crude buildings, thinking the name derives from the English word “brutality”. In fact, it’s literally French for “raw concrete” (béton-brut), but the style is not just reduced to its material. You should read more about Berlin’s brutal architecture in Matthias fantastic post, where you can also see most of the buildings already. I urge you to try and look out for them in West-Berlin and appreciate their glory. They make for much better pictures than the Eastside Gallery.
Embassy of the Czech Republic
Housing built on top of bunker in Pallasstraße
NOWKÖLLN FLEA MARKET
If you’re looking to find privately sold clothes — and a much better spirit and variety than Mauerpark — , go to Nowkölln Flowmarket in the early morning hours. It gets crowded and pretty much sold of anything good in the afternoon, but you’ll be done by then. Sneak up onto the Aldi parking lot with a coffee from Katie’s in your hand and let time & crowd pass by at your feet. And if you actually want to experience an uncommercial flea market, you may want to check out RAW on Sundays.
SOVIET MEMORIAL
There are plenty of memorials in and around Berlin, but you usually can’t skate or climb them, they’re rarely in a nice park and definitely not as impressive as the Soviet War Memorial in Treptower Park. First of all, it’s massive. It’s actually the biggest West European anti-fascist memorial. I mean it’s almost half of the whole park, covered in granite. It is also so far off from all the other landmarks in Berlin that you rarely meet big tourist groups or, God forbid, whole bus-loads of visitors, like at the memorial in Tiergarten (the tank).
The “Sowjetische Ehrendenkmal” actually left me with goosebumps all over the place, and to this day I can’t pass this gorgeous place without being thoroughly impressed by the forceful atmosphere. You should definitely read on the city’s history and occupation after the War, but even if you’re not a history buff, you will feel the spirit of the past here.
Wow, I REALLY need to go and take better pictures.
GET A KÖFTE
Falafel and Shawarma and Currywurst are the classic recommendations for Berlin street food, and while there are many street food markets trying to compete with the conventional choices now, there’s still one low-key contestant that rarely gets a shout-out; and that’s even though it’s the most reliable late-night snack around Kreuzberg and Neukölln. Let me introduce you to The Köfte. There is no vegetarian option of this, but you can get Halloumi at most places. In fact, there’s quite a myth about the so-called “Tecno Köfte”, aka TECHNO KÖFTE. The Köfte guy on Oranienstraße told me that ravers usually didn’t know what they wanted so they took a sandwich with Köfte, Halloumi AND Falafel. And that’s how the Tecno Köfte came to be. Although I don’t know if that’s true, it’s a story I like to ignorantly reproduce and tell the world.
Anyway. My favorite Köftes can be found at Gel Gör (Neukölln) and Izmir Köfte (Kreuzberg). If you’re already at Gel Gör you might as well try the delicious lentil soup.
Drink the homemade Ayran at Gel Gör while you’re at it
Köfte and Cöp Sis are both great
BRÜCKEN-HANGOUT
Marcus once produced a little series about our fake Mediterranean “bridge culture”. Warschauer Brücke, Oberbaumbrücke, Admiralsbrücke, Hobrechtbrücke, Glogauerbrücke: name a bridge in Kreuzberg or Friedrichshain and I dare you not to find buskers and loads of people there in the summer. It’s easy to watch the sunset over the canals, there are many Spätis all around and people have found a liking to chill on the pedestrian crossings. It’s quite an atmosphere, which I can probably relate the most to hanging on Plazas in Italy or Miradurous in Lisbon. Or at the corniche in any city with an actual sea. We’ve got only our ugly Landwehrkanal but you know what, we love it. If you’re on Admiralsbrücke you might as well get a pizza from Casolare to go. It’s the best Italian pizza in Berlin and I won’t let anybody tell me something different.
Buskers all day all night on Warschauer Brücke
Well-kept secret: Modersohnbrücke
Very popular, but chill: Admiralsbrücke
STROLL THROUGH HANSAVIERTEL
I’m usually not so big on architecture, it looks as if I am crazy about it here. Eh, I guess it’s occupational hazard. But yes, you have to check out Hansaviertel if you like architecture! If you have the time, you should also visit it’s Eastern counterpart, Karl-Marx-Allee, which goes from Mitte to Friedrichshain. So the story’s like this: Berlin was bombed and needed to be reconstructed, and both the West and the East were having none of that low-key crap. The West went Bauhaus on the quarter that was known as Hansaviertel, we’re talking Alvar Aalto, Walter Gropius, Max Taut, Oscar Niemeyer and Egon Eiermann. Basically all the things that you now deem as cool can be found in one pile of buildings in Hansaviertel. It looks like a different universe of Berlin.
Now, the East, yeah — its the same insanity, but a different architecture. Karl-Marx-Allee, formerly known as Stalinallee, is exactly as imposing and powerful as the Soviet War Memorial. Like Hansaviertel, it is basically nothing but a conglomerate of Plattenbauten, but they don’t make them like this (and by this I mean socialist style) anymore. Before the Wall came down, this was the most magnificent street of the East. And it serves as a good contrast.
KaDeWe
The KaDeWe isn’t particularly exceptional to the cosmopolitan visitors. It’s just a posh warehouse. But hold up! It’s THE warehouse in Europe, a landmark of the Western World, of freedom, capitalism and a very well curated assortment of products.
It’s also my personal favorite place to have some Oysters. The casual canteen atmosphere, embedded into one of the most privileged outlets of the city, has a very distinct Berlin flavor. You don’t need to actually buy anything, but a walk through the food court will have you in tears. I didn’t even know that so many different water bottle designs could exist, let alone the fact that every bottle is manifactured by a different company AND filled with allegedly different kinds of water. And that’s just water, man. We haven’t even approached the condiments section yet. I know that Americans are never thrown off by this, but I also remember going in the first time when I was 13 and almost pooping my pants because they had Pop-Tarts and Lucky Charms (sure, for 15 Euro a pack, but whatever. That stuff was gold). Now imagine how it must have been when it opened after the war?
Visiting KaDeWe might be nothing but another outlet of consumerism, but if you end up shopping anyway you might as well do so in an educationally and historically worthwhile context.
Don’t miss the sunset from the Oysters bar.
SUNDAYS AT THAI PARK
New York’s got Chinatown (and Koreatown and Little France and probably also some kind of Venezuela and a German Octoberfest), but we’ve got the amazing Thai Park at Fehrbelliner Platz! Every weekend! I don’t know how it started or why, and it doesn’t matter, because not only is it nice to be outside without needing to prepare your own BBQ, it’s also extremely nice if you, like me, miss drinking fresh coconuts or indulging on sticky rice with mango. While everybody treats Dong Xuang as the utmost experience of Berlin - WHY — Thai Park actually serves nice food in an even nicer environment. Not to say that a visit to Don Juan isn’t worth it, I found some of the best ripe mangos there, but it’s not like you’re going to buy anything if you’re not a wholesaler or have a particular fetish for the smell of plastic and child labor.
Anyways, Thai Park: it’s the perfect hang out in the summer and makes for a nice bike trip if you’re not used to the area. It’s a culinary feast and very informal, just like life in Bangkok is. And what could be cooler than leaving Berlin for Bangkok? Exactly.
SMOKE WEED IN GÖRLITZER PARK
Usually not one to endorse drugs, I have to say that even if you don’t smoke you’re probably passively smoking anyway. Once you enter Görlitzer Park in Kreuzberg — a former train station — you will be hit by a wall of weed fumes and probably also by a wall of drug dealers as well. Look: I know you’re all tempted to buy something else, too, but don’t. Even the Weed is crap (not that I know anything about it, I just heard). But the 24/7 circus that is Görlitzer Park in the summer, with all the hacki-sacks and the flamboyancy and BBQs is just incredibly tempting to light one up. Bonus points: you can visit the integrated petting zoo. Just don’t fucking go to the blacklight minigolf, unless you have children, then you’re excused.
SCHWARZES CAFÉ
It took me 8 years to go to Schwarzes Café and then I realized how many great nights and days I must have missed. It’s open 24/7 and a real Berlin institution, born out of the anti-anarchist situation of the West at the end of the 70s. It’s not particularly anti-anarchist now, but it still carries the kind of Berlin charm that many places have tried to reproduce (and failed at) in the past. As for quality, I tried everything: the food, the drinks, the coffees, the cakes, and yes, absolutely fantastic. With a huge menu and a lively, but not crowded or annoying atmosphere, Schwarzes Café is usually the best choice when passing through the West or Kantstraße in particular. You can have breakfast at ANY time of the day here, which is great in itself. There’s also some typically German / Austrian stuff on the menu, and since many people also ask me where they can try the mythical German cuisine, well… there you go.
STROLL THROUGH BERLINS LITTLE ORIENT
Calling it “Little Orient” may or may not be a little bit exaggerated. I do believe that Sonnenallee will have some surprises in store for you. From shisha cafés to juice bars, from Falafel to Levantine specialities such as Hummus and Fatteh (definitely not the same stuff that you can get at the Israeli delis in Mitte): when people say “Neukölln”, it’s usually Sonnenallee they think of. And although Neukölln is iconic for the failure of the German migration politics, somehow it works out on Sonnenallee. It’s the equivalent of Oranienstraße in Kreuzberg, except it’s not dominantly Turkish. Arabic pastries and seeds, little electronic repair stores and a few signs of gentrification tangle up into a weird and sweet mix of contemporary Berlin-Beirut.
SEE BERLIN FROM ABOVE
Look, I can’t give you an exact address, but it’s really not that hard to find a passable rooftop. And there’s nothing greater than seeing Berlin from above, as rarely you’ll have anything towering over you except for the Fernsehturm. Never go up the Fernsehturm, it’s not worth it, the pictures are worth shit and also.. what did you plan to see? There’s no skyline. The only thing we have IS the Fernsehturm. So get that idea out of your head again.
I am not saying you should break & enter, either. Be creative. If you’re in a big building anyway, go up to the last floor, see if the entrance to the attic is open. Many hostels and hotels have rooftops, there are some rooftop bars, too, so you won’t miss out. But the top deck of a parking lot? Much cooler view. You’re all alone and sipping on some Mate or watching the sun go down. Beste.
HAVE A BERLIN BREAKFAST
I already mentioned the breakfast at Schwarzes Café. If you like breakfast, you’ll love Berlin, because guess what: breakfast is a 24/7 thing here. Because people are extraordinarily chill, breakfast ist served usually really late into the afternoon or sometimes even later. And there’s a flamboyant and outgoing breakfast culture, too, so many cafés offer what resembles a typical German “Brotzeit” consisting of fresh baked bread and rolls (German speciality), different varieties of cheese and cold cuts or vegetarian options. You’ll also find fancy Chia puddings, mueslis and whatnot, but it’s the relatively typical German breakfast platters that foreigners usually love. And so do I.
(My breakfast advice for Kreuzberg would be Bastard or Nest. Please also check out Stil in Berlin’s insane list of the best breakfast options of Berlin).
RIDE THE SCHLAUCHBOOT
Full disclosure: I’ve never done that. When people come visit me and it’s fairly nice weather (hell, even if it’s raining as always) we take a commercial boat trip. Three hours of slow, painful intoxication, but the view is great. I think Berlin has more canal bridges than Amsterdam or something, but it’s super lowkey about it. I told you I’m a big old bore. But: whenever I see people riding down the Landwehrkanal in a Schlauchboot, I feel a pang of jealousy. Why is that not me? Then I always remember that the waters of the canal are mud and that I’ve seen more dead in there than in all of the SAW movies. But yo, feel free to do that, I’ll go back to my hair straightener (if you don’t want to invest into a boat while you’re here, which I can totally understand, just hang at the Boule court with all the other folks, beer in hand, and hoot at the passersby on the canal).