Do something a little different and share a joke this Valentine’s Day.
Valentine’s Day is the perfect time of year for new partners to declare their love and affection for the first time. It’s a good day to send a card to that favoured person showing them just how you feel. You may even want to remain anonymous and give the recipient the chance to guess who their admirer is.
Valentine's Day Guide to Jokes
Table of contents
Why give a joke on Valentine’s Day?
Classic Valentine’s Day jokes
How to give your joke as a gift
Best retailers to buy Valentine’s Day cards and stationery
Current deals and specials
Why shop at finder.com.au for Valentine’s Day gifts?
Why give a joke on Valentine’s Day?
Just because February 14 is all about romance doesn’t mean your card has to be filled with mushy sentiments and corny poetry. For starters, it might be too early in your relationship to declare your undying love, but you still want to show that special someone that you care about them. For other people, an over-the-top romantic card simply wouldn’t work; they’d much rather just spend a fun day with you then have to wade through a few verses of your terrible poetry.
However you choose to word your card, you can add a light-hearted touch by including an appropriate joke to your heartfelt message. This makes the whole occasion of card giving and receiving more fun. You can even design your own card and add what you think is appropriate for you and that special person.
Classic Valentine’s Day jokes to include
What kind of flowers can you never give on Valentine’s Day?
Cauliflowers
My high-school English teacher was well known for being a fair, but hard, grader. One day I received a B minus on a theme paper. In hopes of bettering my grade and in the spirit of the Valentine season, I sent her an extravagant heart-shaped box of chocolates with the pre-printed inscription: “be mine” The following day, I received in return a Valentine from the teacher. It read: “Thank you, but it’s still a be mine-us”.
What did the painter say to her boyfriend?
"I love you with all my art!"
A woman was taking a nap on Valentine’s Day afternoon. After she awoke, she told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a gorgeous and expensive diamond necklace for Valentine’s Day! What do you think it means?”
“You’ll know tonight,” he said.
That evening, her husband came home with a small package for her. Thrilled, she opened it and found a book titled “The Meaning of Dreams.”
What did the light bulb say to the switch?
You turn me on.
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, "I'm sending out one thousand Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man said.
What is a vampire’s sweetheart called?
His ghoul-friend.
A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year. If he didn’t speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and so on.
One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady. He refrained from speaking for two whole years so he could call her “my darling.” But then he wanted to tell her he loved her, so he waited three more years. At the end of these five years, he wanted to ask her to marry him, so he waited another four years. Finally, as the ninth year of silence ended, he led the lady to the most romantic place in the kingdom and said, “My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?” And the lady said, “Pardon?”
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. Their wedding ceremony wasn’t fancy. The reception, however, was excellent.
Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine's Day.
'Yes,' came the answer from Tony, who was a bit of a chauvinist, 'I've bought her a belt and a bag.'
'That was very kind of you,' Jim added, 'I hope she appreciated the thought.'
Tony smiled as he replied, 'So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better.
What did the bat say to his girlfriend?
"You're fun to hang around with."
Girl: "I can't be your Valentine for medical reasons."
Boy: "Really?"
Girl: "Yeah, you make me sick!"
What happened when the man fell in love with his garden?
It made him wed his plants!
What did the Valentine’s Day card say to the stamp?
“Stick with me and you'll go places”!
What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine's Day?
“A hug and a quiche!”
Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?
“It was Valenswine's Day!”
What do you call a very small valentine?
“A valentiny!”
What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?
"I love you a ton!"
How to give a joke as a gift
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Amazon
Second Nature Pop Up Greeting Card for Valentine's Day
This unique 3D greeting card pops out when removed from its envelope. It is fantastic for that special person in your life. You can add your special message which can be a Valentine’s joke.
Amazon
Twinkle Twinkle- Special romantic Light Up Valentine's Card
Twinkle Twinkle are novel light-up cards designed to be sent to special people on special occasions. The images come to life through the use of 30 fibre optic lights. They are 8x6 in size and are sold in their own individual wrapping with a matching envelope. You can add your Valentine’s joke inside the card.
Hallmark Cards
Sarah Jessica Parker Collection Valentine — heart & rose
This card is from the Sarah Jessica collection and is a standard heart and flower. A message and joke can be added.
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Hallmark Cards
Happy Hearts Day Banner
This Happy Hearts Day Banner card is a greeting card that can be folded with the message ‘Missing you lately...Loving you greatly’. There is space to add a Valentine’s joke, too.
Urban Outfitters
People I've Loved I Don't Want To Date Card
This is a Valentine’s card which requires a personal message to be written inside. Great for including a Valentine’s Day joke.
Vistaprint
Personalised Note Cards
This is a flat card where your own message can be added.
Best retailers to buy Valentine’s Day cards and stationery
This online store provides a great variety of Valentine’s cards. Some have messages already written while others let the sender write his or her personalised message.
Hallmark is a well-known card company in both Australia and overseas, and Valentine’s cards can be purchased with many different messages and images available. Ecards are available as well as traditional cards.
This is more for the DIY enthusiast as different types of card, both flat or folding and blank or patterned, can be purchased and the buyer can add his or her personal touch.
This company does not specialise in the selling of cards but it does stock a variety of cards for specific occasions. The buyer can add his or her message to the message already provided.
Valentine's Day Deals
Flowers for Everyone - 10% Discount with Signup
Get 10% off your first order at Flowers for Everyone. Simply signup now to get your discount.
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Amazon - Valentines Day Ideas
View Sale on Site
Amazon - Beautiful flower bouquets from $9.99
Choose from a wide variety of flowers from Amazon, delivered straight to you door.
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Last verified 11 Feb 2014
Why shop at finder.com.au for Valentine’s Day?
finder.com.au is a great place to do all your online shopping, especially when you’re looking for Valentine’s Day cards and gifts.
finder.com.au offers the following advantages:
There are many retailers listed that can be compared easily and quickly
It is a great one-stop shop for purchases
Many of the retailers offer free shipping
Promotions and discounts let you enjoy huge savings
The post Your guide to the best Valentines Day Jokes appeared first on finder.com.au.