2014-10-16



Warner Bros.

Let’s call this pitch Filmography Expendables. Take an actor or actress, list his or her best characters and throw them in a movie together as a team of awesomeness. Or, since I’m still certain we’re heading into a “Vs.” movie trend — and the “Civil War” idea for Captain America 3, where Cap fights Iron Man, is further evidence — take a star’s best two characters and pit them against each other. We’re talking gold right there.

The necessary effects are there and have been long enough that I’m surprised we haven’t seen more action sequences where an actor is fighting himself as clones or lookalikes or something like that. Oblivion gave us Tom Cruise versus Tom Cruise, but now the next step is to see Ethan Hunt go up against Jack Reacher (it could easily happen since both are from Paramount properties), and then of course they finish in a draw and unite, alongside Maverick, Lestat and Frank T.J. Mackey.

I was inspired to think about this idea from two places. One is this week’s episode of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., in which Ming-Na Wen got to fight herself in the role of Agent May and a S.H.I.E.L.D.-turned-Hydra spy wearing an impossibly perfect Agent May mask. It was one of the best things ever seen on the show. The second thing is a tweet from my buddy Justin Robinson, who wrote: “I want a shared universe of Keanu Reeves characters. That way Neo, Ted, Johnny Utah, Jack Traven and John Wick can team-up someday.”

Below are 10 more actors and actresses (with the two already mentioned) whose filmography would make for a great team-up, as well. For each I selected two to kick things off by kicking each others’ ass, then three more to join the party after the initial pair become allies. First up is the most obviously necessary choice.

Harrison Ford

Han Solo vs. Indiana Jones, joined by Rick Deckard, President James Marshall and Bob Falfa.

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Bad T-800 vs. Good T-800, joined by Conan, Dutch and John Matrix.

Milla Jovovich

Leeloo vs. Alice, joined by Joan of Arc, Katinka and Violet Song Jat Shariff.

Scarlett Johansson
Lucy vs. Black Widow, joined by Silken Floss, Laura the alien (Under the Skin) and Samantha the operating system (Her).

Ron Perlman

One vs. Hellboy, joined by Gunnar, Hannibal Chau and Viceroy Vkruk.

Johnny Depp

Edward Scissorhands vs. Sweeney Todd, joined by Captain Jack Sparrow, Hunter S. Thompson and Ichabod Crane.

Samuel L. Jackson

Nick Fury vs. Jules Winnfield, joined by Mace Windu, Elijah Price and Frozone.

Sigourney Weaver

Ellen Ripley vs. Grace in Avatar form, joined by Dana Barrett, Gwen DeMarco and Cloned Ellen Ripley.

Zoe Saldana
Gamora vs. Neytiri, joined by Nyota Uhura, Anamaria and Cataleya Restrepo.

Tom Cruise
Ethan Hunt vs. Jack Reacher, joined by Maverick, Lestat and Frank T.J. Mackey.

Keanu Reeves
Neo vs. John Wick, joined by Ted Logan, Johnny Utah and Jack Traven.

Nicolas Cage

Cameron Poe vs. Castor Troy, joined by Sailor Ripley, Terence McDonagh and Peter Loew.

Jack Nicholson

Jack Torrance vs. The Joker, joined by Daryl Van Horne, R.P. McMurphy and J.J. Gittes.

Uma Thurman
The Bride (Beatrix Kiddo) vs. Medusa, joined by Venus, Mia Wallace and Poison Ivy.

Vin Diesel
Riddick vs. Groot, joined by Xander Cage, The Iron Giant and Dominic Toretto.

Wesley Snipes
Blade vs. Simon Phoenix, joined by Nino Brown, Noxeema Jackson and Doc (The Expendables 3).

Jennifer Lawrence
Katniss Everdeen vs. Mystique, joined by Ree, Rosalyn Rosenfield and Tiffany (Silver Linings Playbook).

Angelina Jolie
Maleficent vs. Grendel’s mother, joined by Lara Croft, Franky Cook and Jane Smith.

Gary Oldman
Drexl vs. Zorg, joined by Dracula, Sirius Black and Sid Vicious.

Andy Serkis
Gollum vs. Caesar, joined by King Kong, Captain Haddock and Ian Dury.

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