If you’ve ever wanted to know what it feels like to be in love.

Established Karmy. Proposal fic. Christmas time.

To A, if you happen to like literally any of my stories Limits, Rescue me etc. Let me know which one and I’ll update it for you by Thursday, as a Merry Christmas to you for all your hard work on this blog :) <3

You climb over Amy carefully to slot yourself back into the empty aeroplane seat beside her without waking up your sleeping girlfriend. You know how ratty Amy gets when she’s woken up from her sleep – you’ve witnessed it for the past three years that you’ve been living together in your studio apartment in New York City – you think it’s really cute when she furrows her brow at you and lets out a sigh of annoyance, it’s in those little moments like that you realise that you’re completely and irrevocably in love with this girl. You’re beyond happy that you’re the only one who gets to witness Amy in moments like that now, no other girl – like that Rebecca bitch from Amy’s freshman year of NYU – tells you about Amy’s grumpy tendencies because they’re all yours now.

Every single one of those moments is wrapped up in the little Tiffany’s box that you stuffed into your carry-on bag just before you left for the airport, you have to admit to yourself that you debated leaving it behind and pulling out that little box of secrets on some other occasion, when it’s just the two of you, but then a rush of panic came over you when you remembered Amy routing through your drawers looking for a spare set of headphones – how close could she possibly have been to finding that question you need to ask her before you even got too – so you nestled the little box safely in between your copies of US weekly in your carry on, knowing that your girlfriend is repulsed by your love of tabloid articles, making the ring safer than it has ever been since you purchased it two months ago.

You’re pulled out of your thoughts when you feel a hand tugging your earphones out and disturbing you’re in-flight entertainment, to find Amy sleepily frowning at you, pulling up the arm rest in between you and nestling her body in tighter against yours. You love this feeling. Her body pressed up against yours. Her heat radiating onto your skin. Her breath in your ear. It makes you feel like your one person, but I guess you’ve always felt that way, Amy became like an extra limb to you since she sat in your sand box in kindergarten. Now you’re just thankful that she wants to be there with you.

‘What are you watching?’ Amy asks yawning a little and stretching her long legs out, she hates being cramped up in an aeroplane, you listened to her complain about it for hours on end last night as she tried to convince you that going home for the Christmas holidays is a bad idea, pouting the entire time. But you put your foot down and insisted that the two of you need to see your respective families at least once every five years, otherwise it’s rude, to which Amy snorted loudly, and you through your favourite pillow at her.

‘Cinderella’ you reply, handing her one of your two earpieces and signalling for her to watch with you, which she does, pressing a soft kiss to your lips before switching positions so that you now get to rest all of your weight on her, her arm looping around your shoulders protectively. The two of you sit in silence, enjoying each other’s company, like you have done for the past three years since you started dating, officially.

You know that your relationship isn’t perfect, that she never really will be able to trust you completely after the Liam Booker incident, quickly followed by the night after you first kissed in a more than platonic way since leaving for college and she walked in to your dorm to find you in the midst of a passionate make out session with the more than frisky sorority girl you met at a party the week before that. You really thought you lost Amy that night, once again for your own selfish fears, but after a month of begging and pleading she finally agreed to speak to you again – much to Shane’s distress – and you confessed everything. You confessed how you do stupid things all the time because you know that you’re not good enough for her. You confessed how you haven’t been able to stop thinking about her in a romantic way since she helped you fix your sink in your dingy apartment at three am when your supposed boyfriend was nowhere to be seen. You confessed that you kissed the sorority girl so that the feelings you have for Amy would feel less final. You confessed that you know she’s the one you want to have wrapped around you at night, and it’s her lips you want to feel on yours in the morning, even with her morning breath, because hell, your mom once told you that true love is the overwhelming urge to kiss the person next you in the morning, even though you know you haven’t brushed your teeth yet. You never really understood what she was saying until you and Amy had your first ‘R’ rated sleepover and you woke up in her arms with this tingly sensation inside of your stomach that pushed you to wake her up with cute little morning kisses instead of your usual shove of the shoulder.

‘What are you thinking about?’ she asks you. Green eyes looking down on you as she interlaces your free fingers with hers, rubbing her thumb along the palm of your hand.

‘You’ you reply simply. Loving that you get to watch her blush and squirm uncomfortably beside you before you finally decide to end it by pressing your lips to hers once again and turning back to your movie.

‘Are you sure you haven’t got another girlfriend somewhere making you this happy?’ Amy whispers in your ear, her playful tone sending shivers down your spine. Amy always asks you questions like this, and you started to wonder if she’s waiting on you to confess to a secret lover one day, but you’ve known for the past three years that that will never happen. Ever.

‘She’s picking me up at baggage claim, along with my pet monkey and the cast of house hunters’ you tease her. You make sure to squeeze her hand at the same time so she knows she’s the focus of your attention and not some imaginary girlfriend.

‘I’d much prefer if it was your secret girlfriend and the cast of house hunters picking us up from the airport rather than my mom’ Amy whines above you and you notice how her eyes trail over to the mother and daughter sitting across the aisle from the two of you, happily watching a movie together, flaunting their perfect relationship out in the open.

‘Hey.’ You shit up and cup Amy’s cheek so that her eyes meet yours again and it breaks your heart that you can see the cracks of her familial relationship in her green eyes. She tears her eyes away from yours and kisses the palm of your hand where it’s resting on your cheek. ‘I love you, you know that right?’ she nods her head and leans back in her seat, pretending to close her eyes so you won’t force her to open up to you like you’ve done many times over the past three years. Emphasising how your relationship won’t work if she doesn’t let you in.

Your flight lands right on time. You shuffle through the airport hand in hand with Amy who looks at you like you’re dragging her to her own funeral. But you can’t help it because just beyond the departures gate your mom and dad are waiting for you, and you haven’t seen them in three years, and now you’re coming home for the holidays to let them be a part of your most exciting news ever. And it makes you feel blessed and thankful that somehow the girl holding your hand right now, your childhood best friend, teenage crush and now girlfriend of three years, will be hopefully be your fiancé the next time you walk through this airport together.

You’re just about to happily skip out of the arrivals gate to meet yours and Amy’s respective family’s when you feel her fingers slipping through yours and your hands detach, making you frown. You turn around to find Amy separating your bags that you may or may not of allowed her to carrier earlier, knowing that you’d be ten times slower if you had to drag that weight through the airport, and well, Amy’s stronger that you. Like super strong. So you never felt the need to reject her offer of help carrying your bag. She hands you yours and you wait until she reinserts her fingers into yours before walking into the arrivals section of the airport where you immediately spot your hippie parents holding an embarrassingly big sign with ‘Welcome home Karma’ written across it in big writing, along with a sub heading reading ‘And Amy!’. You can’t control yourself as you drop you bag on the floor beside you, disconnect your hands and plunge forward into your parents arms, tears streaming down your face as they grab at every inch of your as if they’re checking to see if your still real. You converse amongst each other for a good five minutes before your hand feels cold and your heart starts to ache as your eyes search the airport for her. Through the crowds of people you spot her, watching you protectively as her mother speaks to her about god knows what and Lauren impatiently taps on her phone screen. Your parents follow your eye line and nod their heads politely for you to go over to her, holding their hands over their hearts and making noises that resemble a group of girls watching the notebook. You push through the crowds of people, apologising for every person that you stop from getting closer to their loved ones quicker, until finally you reach the Coopers and Amy raises both of her eyebrows at you awkwardly when you realise that you can’t intimately hold her in front of her mother for the first time in the airport.

‘Karma, how lovely to see you’ Farrah smiles politely at you, looking you up and down judgingly, and you suddenly feel bad for choosing to wear a less than stylish outfit on the plane but then you remember Amy telling you that you look beautiful in a black bag and you smile softly at the older woman.

‘How are you parents?’ Amy ask you, nodding her head in the direction that I came from, where she was watching me, and I just can’t take the space between us anymore so I step forward and rest my hand on her waist, turning to the Coopers who look at me with surprise at my boldness.

‘So you two are together now?’ Farrah asks and I slap Amy’s arm in realisation that she hasn’t told her family that we’ve been dating for three years and living together for two. She pouts at me as I shoot her a dirty look and she turns to her mother, slipping her fingers into mine.

‘We’ve been together for four years on New Year’s Eve’ she smiles down proudly at you and Lauren nudges her mother to say something polite, mumbling a congratulations to the two of us.

‘Karma sweetie, are you ready to go? Zen is waiting for you at the house’ my parents appear behind me and I single for them to give me a second before turning back to Amy.

‘You going to miss me blondie?’ you ask her. Snaking your arms around her neck. You feel the need to connect your bodies somehow, knowing that you’re not going to be sleeping in the same bed as her tonight. You can’t imagine what that’s like anymore. The last time that happened was when Amy accused you of being overtly flirty with your neighbour and you had an ugly screaming match in your shared apartment, which ultimately led to Amy sleeping on the couch and you crying into your pillow until you crept out of your room to make up with her at four in the morning.

‘I think it’s you who’ll miss me. What are you going to sleep on top of if I’m not there’ she replies tucking your hair behind your ears for you. Once again you can hear your parents making cute noises and you’re afraid to think about the noises that the Coopers are making so you lean up and kiss Amy’s more than inviting lips like you’re not just saying goodbye for twenty four hours. You feel her smile into the kiss when you finally build up the courage to separate yourself from her and peck her lips once more, stepping away from her and letting your hands slide apart as you walk back over towards your parents.

‘You better call me before you to sleep. I love you.’ You call out to her and you can feel the tears welling up in your eyes, knowing that she’s not exactly in for a happy evening, and all you want to do is drag her back to your house and thank your parents for their ‘closed door’ policy.

‘I will. Love you too’


You walk into your childhood home to find your brother sitting on your couch, exactly where you left him nearly four years ago, eagerly waiting on you to take a seat next to him and divulge your life secrets. That’s what families are for, at least that what you tell yourself as you cautiously reach into your carry-on bag, checking around you to ensure that Amy didn’t somehow follow you home and magically appear in your living room, as you pull out the little Tiffany’s box. Your brother and parents proceed to jump up and down with happiness and you’re pretty sure that your mom is choking up when she finally takes a seat beside you and examines the box, your dad patting your back proudly.

‘I can’t believe my baby girl is getting married.’ Your mom whimpers out as your dad rushes to her side and gently strokes her back which makes you smile because you imagine that thirty years from now Amy will be doing the exact same thing for you. We all know that you’re the crier not her.

‘Not exactly. She sort of needs to say yes first.’ You reply gently placing the ring back in your backpack and leaning back on your couch, letting out a huge sigh of relief. You’ve been dying to tell someone that your planning on proposing to the love of your life since you purchased the ring two months ago, but every time you come close to telling someone you remember that they’ve told you other people’s secrets before, and you simply cannot run the risk of Amy finding out about the proposal through one of your ‘gossipy’- as Amy likes to call them- friends.

‘Amy loves you sweetie’ my mom gently places her hand on top of mine and I get the overwhelming urge to ask her to propose for me. You’re allowed to do that right, have your mom go ask your girlfriend if she’ll be your wife. You can’t see what’s so crazy about that ‘She’ll say yes’

‘To be honest I’m a bit surprised that you’re the one proposing sis, I always thought that Amy would be the one to get down on one knee’ your brother chimes in. And then it hits you like a tonne of bricks. Why hasn’t Amy proposed to you yet? She says she loves you. You’ve been her everything and she’s been yours for over three years now. It’s not exactly unlike her to want to be traditional in that sense.

‘Maybe she thinks it’s time that I put myself out there instead of her’ you reply and your father holds up his hand to high five you, which you accept, imagining Amy’s reaction to your families dorkiness and smiling to yourself. God your so in love with her.

‘When are you going to propose?’ your father asks you and once again you feel like you’ve been punched in the stomach. How one earth are you supposed to know that? You want it to be perfect but you really have no idea what perfect is. You and Amy have never once discussed marriage in the past four years you’ve been dating and the realisation of that shakes you to your core as well. You begin to wonder if there’s a reason that you haven’t. If somehow in the moment you propose to Amy, trying to solidify her place in your little life, she removes herself completely by saying no. You never factored in that she might say no when you found yourself walking into Tiffany’s on that faithful afternoon.

‘Um. I haven’t really thought about it yet. I’m starved, are we having tofu for dinner?’ You ask obviously trying to regain a little bit of composure for yourself. Your mom nods her head and excitedly ushers you into the kitchen, ranting and raving about her latest tofu recipe and how excited she is for you to try it. Yep, you’re definitely home.


You’re lying in your childhood bed tossing and turning as you try to find a comfortable position. No pillow fixation seems to be right for you when you finally realise that maybe it’s not the pillows that are making you uncomfortable. Maybe it’s the fact that Amy normally is your pillow, you can’t even remember what it’s like to have to actually use one, why you would when her chest is so god damn comfortable, and her arms fit so securely around your waist when you lie half draped over her. Not to mention the intoxicating smell of her coconut shampoo that you’ve recently become obsessed with. Buying it for her in your weekly shop, just to ensure that she doesn’t stray away from it unbeknownst to how much you love it. That cannot happen.

You’re standing outside the Raudenfeld-Cooper house before you even realise what you’re doing there. Your mom’s car is parked directly across the street. You stare over at it, contemplating turning back, to prove to yourself that you can last a night without Amy’s arms wrapped around you. You’re twenty four years old and you live in New York City – with Amy – and that slight epiphany pushes you to start trying to figure out how exactly you’re going to climb up the house and into Amy’s room. You frown when you notice that Amy’s window is slightly open, you specifically remember spending the first year of your relationship waking up in the middle of the night after one of your ‘sleepovers’ in Amy’s dorm room to slam the window closed – much to her annoyance. You start to feel like the guy in those dorky superhero movies Amy loves when you finally start scaling the house – in your pjs – and you remember how this used to be so much easier when you were a teenager.

You finally make it to the top window when you climb in as quietly as possible, praying to whatever god does exist that Farrah Cooper doesn’t catch you sneaking into her daughter’s bedroom at two in the morning. You smile to yourself when you see Amy’s sleeping figure pushed to one side of the bed, as if she can’t bear to sleep on your side when you’re not there. Cautiously taking a couple of steps you slip into the bed next to her and nestle your way into her side when she finally stirs awake.

‘Karma?’ she asks groggily as she starts sitting up in her position but you quickly tug her down and wrap your body around hers, finding that all important position to rest your head on her chest and you smile when you feel her arm slipping around your waist to pull you in tighter.

‘You left your window open. I hate when you do that’ you mumble into her neck, tiredness hitting your body now that you’ve found the missing ingredient your sleep needed.

‘I figured I had a pass on leaving my window open since you’re not supposed to be here’ she chuckles and you quickly cover her mouth with your hand to cover up the sound, your irrational fear of Farrah Cooper creeping through your mind. ‘I expected you to last one night. Maybe even two’ your hand muffles the sound of her voice and you raise an eyebrow at her words, staring down into her green orbs through the darkness.

‘You really .want me to be able to sleep without you butt face?’ you ask her boldly. You can’t deny that you’re searching for any sort of doubt in her response, your brother’s voice creeping through your mind.

Amy doesn’t respond. She simply gestures down to her body and you quickly pull the covers up to see what she’s pointing at when your heart melts in your chest.

‘You’re wearing my shirt dork’ you whisper into the darkness and she gently cups your cheeks, swiping her thumb over a stray tear that managed to escape your eyes.

‘You’re wearing mine beautiful’ she boldly captures your lips with hers and you moan into her mouth for the millionth time in the past four years because it feels so fucking good to be kissed like this. To be kissed by Amy. You silent whisper ‘I love you’s’ to one another when your finally break apart to nestle down to sleep, and that’s when you realise.

Every second that you waste thinking about it is another second that she’s not completely yours.


You wake up to the sound of Amy’s childhood bedroom door being banged on rather loudly and you’re pretty sure that Amy must be dead or something to not hear it. You contemplate hiding under the bed and letting Amy face the wrath of Farrah Cooper in the morning by herself but then you remember that the ring in your carry-on bag at your parents’ house binds you into facing the music with her. So you quickly untangle yourself from Amy’s arms and slip on her hoody to walk over to open the banging door to Farrah Cooper.

‘Karma?’ Farrah questions as you attempt to pull the pj shorts you’re wearing down lower – Amy’s mother’s eyes have always scared you.

‘Morning’ you stutter out, every ounce of bravery you felt slowly slipping away under Farrah’s intense gaze ‘I hope you don’t mind that I stayed over. Amy and I were um… talking… last night and I sort of fell asleep and…’

‘Do you parents know you’re here?’ Farrah cuts you off.

‘No’ you breathe out. Not that they would even care. You make a mental note to drag Amy over to your house tonight to avoid this sort of rude awakening.

‘You better let them no. Breakfast will be ready in ten minutes. I expect the two of you to be fully dressed and present’ Farrah orders and you slowly but surely nod your head, as if you’re a child being scolded in school. You watch as she walks down the stairs before turning around and resting against the now closed door. Breathing out a sigh of relief in the process.

‘That was hot’ you smile when you see that Amy’s propped herself up in her bed and she’s watching you intently ‘You standing up to my mom. You really stood your ground. What are you planning on doing later today, storming the Capitol?’ Amy’s teasing you and your favourite movie series now so you toss her stuffed animal at her with as much force as possible.

‘I guess I’m staying for breakfast now… you know, one battle at a time’ you find yourself crawling into bed next to her again and she wraps you up in her arms to kiss you sweetly on the lips, her hands cupping your cheeks.

‘Morning beautiful’ she places another kiss on your lips and you let out a yelp when you feel her flipping you over so that she’s hovering above you. Her lips find their way to your neck and you can’t control the moan that escapers your mouth when she sucks on your pulse point. You smile to yourself thinking about how it always leaves a loud and proud mark – that is until you quickly push her off you remembering that your about to have breakfast with her overly religious parents.

‘Karmmmmssss’ she groans as she playfully punches the bed in frustration. You quickly seek out some sort of clothes from Amy’s bag that will look semi-ok on you, when you begin to realise why people always pick her out as the man in your relationship.

‘Did you seriously not bring one dress?’ you ask her, baffled by the sever lack of femininity in her suitcase. You continue shuffling through her clothes when you feel her tugging you away from the bag and she slams it closed in one swift motion – which puzzles you.

‘Dresses are for when you’re trying to impress people Karma, and well I’m certainly not trying to impress my mother, or Bruce, or Lauren so why would I bring one?’ she continues ranting on at you as she walks into her bathroom and your pretty sure that you can hear her brushing her teeth when she finally stops talking.

‘Don’t you want to impress me?’ you ask her, smiling knowingly to yourself. She emerges from the bathroom, her hair neatly placed in a bun on top of her head and you can’t help but blush a little when you realise how naturally beautiful your girlfriend really is.

‘Have I not already impressed you?’ she queries, her perfectly shaped eyebrow arching as she pulls off her pj shirt to reveal her purple lace bra which immediately sends a heat straight down in between your thighs – and you once again wish that you were at your parents’ house and not hers so you could pounce on her right now ‘Judging by your expression right now I’d say that I have impressed you babe. You can touch me if you’d like to?’ she gestures to her bare torso and laughs as your mouth falls open.

‘Three years of seeing you naked and I still haven’t gotten used to it’ you whimper out as you bite your lip and squeeze your legs together. You reeeeeaaalllly wish you were at your parents’ house right no.

‘Nearly four’ she smirks at you as she finally tosses a cream jumper over her head and steps forward to peck your lips ‘I love you. You know that right?’

‘I love you too’


Breakfast with your future family in law. This is not exactly how you expected to be spending your day when you slipped into Amy’s bed last night, you figured your sneak out her bedroom window and back to the comfort of your parents’ home but you couldn’t bear to tear yourself out of Amy’s arms until you absolutely had to. And unfortunately that for you, that moment was when Farrah happened to invite you to breakfast.

‘Karma, since my daughter failed to inform me of your relationship, how about you fill in her family on it?’ Farrah pipes up as she places a bowl of fruit in front of you. You kick Amy who’s sitting opposite you and shoot her a death glare, to which she responds by avoiding eye contact with you, knowing that your pissed she never told them.

‘Sure I will’ you respond and Lauren snorts at your tone of voice ‘What do you want to know?’

‘Let’s start with the beginning’ Farrah responds coldly, shooting her daughter an annoyed look, Amy averting her gaze as well.

‘We… well…’ you pout to yourself because you never really figured out how you and Amy started, and you sure as hell want to know before you propose to her.

‘Karma drunkenly confessed her love for me, we made out, and we haven’t stopped since’ Amy blurts out and once again resort to kicking her under the table as you try and avoid everyone at the tables gazes ‘Ouch. Did I forget to mention that we moved in together so we could make out at night time too?’

‘Amy Leigh Raudenfeld’ Bruce finally speaks up silencing his step daughter.

‘What Amy meant to say was that I realised that I was harbouring more than friendly feelings for her one night, so I went over to her dorm room, pulled her away from her friends, and asked her if she was free Saturday night because I’d really like to take her out on a date….’ You reach over and take Amy’s hand in yours, immediately intertwining your fingers on the table in front of you and you watch on in awe as her hostile exterior fades at your touch ‘then I guess we fell in love and well if I’m being honest, I haven’t really stopped falling since’

‘Barf’ Lauren calls out but your pretty sure she means it in the sweetest way possible, which is a rather obscure thought but you can’t deny it either.

‘Amy why didn’t you tell me about your relationship honey?’ Farrah asks the blonde who shrugs her shoulders frowning down at her plate of pancakes and squeezing my hand that little bit tighter ‘All these years I spent wondering if my daughter is happy at all and you’ve been in love this whole time’

‘I don’t know’ Amy shrugs again and you nudge her foot a little under the table with yours to get her to keep speaking, because well, you want to know if you’re going to have Farrah’s support for your wedding or not ‘Ouch Karma!’ she groans when you kick her again and you see that tears have formed in both her green eyes and Farrah’s matching ones at the head of the table.

‘You know what sweetie’ you capture Amy’s attention immediately with the use of the cute pet name you gave her when you first started dating ‘I know we had dinner plans but I think I need to spend some time with Lauren before we head back to New York in a couple of days, how about you use our reservation and go out to dinner with your mom tonight? Just the two of you?’ Amy’s face twists into a mixture of horror, shock and annoyance as she starts biting on her bottom lip under your intense gaze. You can see Farrah’s hopeful expression out of the corner of your eye so you lean forward and pull Amy into a hug so you can whisper in her ear ‘I’ll reward you later, by doing that thing you like, wearing that other thing you like, if you do this for me’

‘When? I need times and places Ashcroft’ Amy whispers back cheekily, pecking your lips with hers as a distraction for the rest of the table who automatically avert their gazes.

‘Hmm… let me think about that…’ you run your free hand under the table and push into Amy’s private space, applying a little bit of pressure so you really give her the idea ‘tonight… sleepover at my house baby’

‘Mom will you go to dinner…. With me tonight?’ the blonde basically squeals out in the excitement and you struggle to hold back a snort at how easy she is to persuade, if your marriage is anything like this you’ll never have a problem getting your way.

‘Sure honey, that sounds darling’


You smile when feel Amy slip her arms around your waist from behind and lean her bed head onto your shoulder, kissing your cheek softly and grunting out a ‘good morning’ somewhere there too. You shift yourself away from the stove and slowly turn around looping your arms around her neck to kiss her lazily on the lips as a proper good morning.

‘That tickles’ she smiles sleepily at you as you play with the hair on the back of her neck with the tips of your fingers and admire the small love bite on the base of her neck from the reward you gave her last night for taking her mom out to dinner.

‘Dork’ you reply playfully shoving her away by her chest and resuming your creation of the Ashcroft family breakfast ‘Do you have to leave? Or are you going to stay for breakfast?’ you ask her, hope filling your eyes as she scrunches her nose up in thought.

‘After sneaking into your room last night and having my way with you…’

‘Twice’ you chime in and she blushes a deep shade of red.

‘I guess I should at least stay for breakfast’ she finishes taking a seat at the kitchen table, watching you intently ‘Plus I haven’t really had a chance to speak with your pare-‘

‘Amy!’ your mom comes bustling into the kitchen, a head band wrapped around her head in true hippie fashion, and she immediately kisses your head before diving over to your soon to be fiancé and attacking her with every loving gesture you can think of ‘It’s so nice to see you dear – I begged Karma to convince you stay with us, you know how we’ve always viewed you as a daughter, with special feelings for our other daughter of course – but then she complained that her surprise wouldn’t really be a surp-‘

‘MOM’ you twirl around on the spot knocking the fresh batch of pancakes you made onto the ground in spectacular fashion, so much so that your father and Zen come running into the kitchen to see if the apocalypse has happened, and you feel sick to your stomach trying to think of an explanation for your rather erratic motion whilst your mother mouths ‘sorry’ over at you.

‘Karma, babe, are you okay?’ you watch intently as Amy starts picking up the broken pieces of glass from the floor so your parents dog scrambles won’t eat them. You quickly bend down to aid her in the process when she cups her cheeks and bores into your green eyes with hers ‘What surprise was your mom talking about?’ you freeze and your pretty sure your mouth is opening and closing but no words are coming out.

‘The surprise sis, tell her about the surprise…’ Zen chimes in trying to buy you some time as you stand up, brushing the dirt of your knees and racking your brain quickly, your eyes scan the room and land on the calendar hanging on the nearby wall, Christmas! ‘Oh I just… I wanted to ask if your be ok with me asking your family over here for Christmas dinner tomorrow…’ Amy stares at you blankly and your pretty sure she’s turned a couple of shades paler than normal at the thought of her strict, religious, republican family sharing a Christmas dinner with your hippie, democratic family.

‘That’s a wonderful idea!’ your dad exclaims ‘I think it’s about time that we all got to know each other since you two girls are going to be-‘

‘having sex a lot more with the way the lunar calendar is right now’ your mom interrupts your father this time and you’ve never been more grateful that Amy knows your parents are insane than you are right now, because your pretty sure you wouldn’t have been able to explain away the end of your fathers sentence this time.

‘Um. I guess… I can ask’ Amy finally stutters out and you exhale deeply resting against the counter top.

‘I can ask the-‘you start but Amy quickly interrupts you holding her hand up in the air.

‘They’re my family I can ask them Karma’ she sounds a little bit agitated and you try not to feel hurt at the harshness of her words but you can’t contain yourself so you mutter your apologies to your family before running up the stairs, taking the steps two at a time, and into your bedroom where you close the door behind you. You’ve been there for all of about five seconds before you hear the door open again and Amy slips in to your bedroom closing the door behind her.

‘Look Karms, I’m sorry if I upset you with my tone there, it’s just… what the fuck Karma? You know what my parents and Lauren are like, and you want them, my Jesus loving parents, to come have dinner here tomorrow, with your parents who regard it as the day of the birth of sexuality instead of Christmas’ Amy’s pacing your room now with her hands on her hips as she glances over at you repeatedly to check that your still alive after she just stabbed you in the chest again.

‘What did you expect Amy… I mean we’ve been together for what… three years now, living together for two and you’re really going to act so ignorant as to believe that our parents are never going to meet!?!?’ your angry now as you raise yourself up from your bed to put your own hands on your hips.

‘Yes!!!’ she shouts back, stopping to stare at you in disbelief and you can’t believe what you’re hearing.

‘Don’t you dare shout at me’ you scold her.

‘Um hello! Can I have my fucking sane girlfriend back and then I’ll stop shouting’ she replies sarcastically and that draws the last straw. You’ve had it. You hate it when Amy disrespects you more than anyone else, you know that she knows she makes you feel inferior to her when she does it.

‘Get out!’ you reply pointing over to your bedroom door and she kicks your stuffed animal on your bedroom floor in frustration and you can’t really blame her because the two of you were so happy less than an hour ago and now you’re having an argument that definitely constitutes one of the biggest you’ve had.

‘Karma loo-‘ Amy holds her head in her hands and your pretty sure she’s about to apologise but you just really don’t want to here it right now, not when your questioning whether she really is the one for you on the eve of your planned proposal.

‘Don’t. I don’t want to hear it right now. I need time to think, alone’

‘What do you mean you need time to think? You’re not seriously considering that we break up over something this petty are you?’

‘There it is…’


‘The problem, you think it’s petty and I don’t Amy. I want our parents to get along Amy. I mean… what about our wedding… or our kids soccer games… or your fucking thirtieth birthday’ you watch on intently as Amy’s face twists up into further confusion and it pisses you off that she doesn’t seem to have even thought about marrying you three years into your relationship.

‘Karma maybe we need to talk…’ Amy’s voice trails off as she awkwardly rubs the back of her neck and stares at her feet.

‘No. Just leave. Please. We’ll talk in a couple of days’ your hand shoots up to cover your mouth as the sobs escape it and Amy watches you intently for a second, clearly deciding whether to approach you when you shake your head at her and point towards the door. You feel like the air has been sucked out of your lungs when she finally exits the room and you slip down onto your childhood bed to let yourself feel all the pain. You can’t believe you’ve been this stupid to think that Amy would actually want a future with you. You’ve always known that she’s out of your league, both physically and mentally and it makes you feel to stick to your stomach thinking that she knew it too. You lie on the side of the bed where she slept last night and inhale her scent, letting your tears pool onto the sheets.

‘Karma’ your brother appears in your doorway carrying a mug of hot chocolate in his hand which he places on the nightstand beside you before retreating out of the room.

The next guess in your room is later that evening when your mother slips an arm around you as you rest your head on her lap and cry it out as she strokes your hair. You can hear your phone tirelessly vibrating on the dresser but you really just can’t handle reading Amy’s apologies or angry messages right now. Not when you know that your relationship just got slapped with an expiration date.

A couple of hours later it’s the doorbell that rings and you can hear Amy’s voice downstairs as your father tells her how you specifically told him not to let her in until after new year’s. Your pretty sure you hear Amy call your name up the stairs a couple of time and then you hear the front door slamming, so you crawl over to the window and peer out it to see Amy sitting on the curb outside your house holding her head in her hands and shaking. Yep, you’re pretty sure that she’s crying too. You debate crawling down to her but then you decide that it’s better for you both if you don’t spend another holiday together pretending to that your both on the same page in your lives when you’re so clearly not.


You wake up Christmas morning to the sound of the doorbell ringing and you debate locking your bedroom door to hide away for the day because it’s so fucking painful to be without Amy right now. This is the first Christmas in three years where you haven’t woken up to the blonde bouncing up and down with excitement to give you her gift and it’s killing you on the inside. You hear your mother’s voice calling you from the downstairs of the house and you ignore her hoping that she’ll go away.

‘Karma, you may want to come down and see this’ your fathers at the door of your bedroom now, so you slip into a hoody, admiring the red rings around your bloodshot eyes before skipping down the stairs as quickly as possible to stop your mother and father from calling you. You reach the bottom of the stairs and stop dead in your tracks when you swerve around the corner to find the entire cooper family happily chatting to your family at the dining room table. You blush when they abruptly stop talking and stare over at the space behind you and you feel your heat flutter when you smell her perfume.

‘Karma’ you turn around and your heart starts beating out of your chest when you see Amy dressed to perfection and gesturing for you to walk over to her, which you find yourself unknowingly doing, ‘I wanted to wait until New Year’s eve to do this… but after our fight yesterday I figured you were upset thinking that I had no intention to ever do this at all… but baby, for the first time in our relationship, you’re so unbelievably wrong’ you gasp as Amy drops down onto one knee in front of you and pulls out a little black box from her pocket, opening it up so that you can see the most immaculate diamond you’ve ever seen in your life.

‘Karma, you’ve been my best friend since the day you sat next to me in the sandpit in kindergarten, sure we’ve had our ups and downs along the way but words cannot describe how happy and insanely blessed I feel that I fell in love with you. You’re everything to me. You’re the reason that I exist and there is no one else in the world that can make me as happy as you do when you just look at me. I thank god every day for giving me the miracle that made you love me back. Anyway I guess what I’m trying to say is…’ Amy pauses for a second to wipe her eyes from the stray tears that have fallen down her cheeks and your pretty sure your heart is about to explode with happiness.

‘I’m so in love with you Karma.  I want to be yours forever and I want you to be mine. Will you marry me?’ you can’t believe what she’s saying to you right now. The words that you’ve been practicing so carefully to say to her, she has somehow managed to say back to you in the most romantic way possible.

‘Yes’ you let the tears stream down your face as the room fills with squeals of happiness from your respective families and Amy carefully takes your hand in hers to place the ring on your finger before standing up and wrapping you up in her arms in a tight embrace. You squeeze her tightly before cupping her cheeks and forcing her lips onto yours for a passionate kiss. She did just propose to you after all ‘God Amy I love you so much’ you pull back and peck her lips once more with yours ‘But I could kill you for proposing to me when I look like I’ve just been released from a mental institute’ she laughs at your words and kisses you again before your mom runs over and drags you into a hug breaking you away from Amy who you can see your dad shaking her hand vigorously as she smiles politely at him.

‘Karma, honey’ you turn around when a dainty hand is placed on your shoulder and your pretty sure your about to go into physical shock when Farrah Cooper pulls you into a warm embrace ‘Welcome to the family dear’

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