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Sunday, family fun day. My life is now like one of those very cliché 80’s songs that Karma loves. I’m sitting on the grass watching a very frazzled Karma attempt to teach a very confused Sophie how to fly a kite. The little blonde girl is looking at me smiling and pointing up at the kite on the ground and smiling. I have to say it’s no the worst position to be in, it’s actually quite relaxing with everything that’s been going on lately. I feel like I’m finally settling into this bizarre alternative universe. Why is it bizzare you may ask? Well, take one unemployed surgeon, a music teacher who also happens to be her ex girlfriend, an orphaned child, a truck load of flirting and put them all into a big house to live together. Technically Karma doesn’t live with Sophie and I, but the fact that she comes over at 7:30am and doesn’t leave until 10pm would suggest otherwise. I’m not complaining at all it’s just that it all seems a bit hippie-ish to me. Very Karma Ashcroft. The complete opposite to my usual routinized way of living. I have to say though I couldn’t do it without her, Sophie is obsessed with Karma. The child idolizes her cool aunt Karma and I’ve taken on the role of the strict boring parent, or as I like to call it the sensible one. Karma always mocks me when I call myself sensible. She likes to remind of the time I fed Sophie donuts for breakfast and then ask me if I still think I’m sensible.
‘Karms… you do realise your standing in the only area of the park where you won’t catch a breeze?’ I shout over to her. Karma lowers her shades and glares at me for second before sending me a sexy smirk.
‘You just lay back there and look pretty blondie, let us grown up’s teach the child to fly the kite’ she shouts back flirtatiously winking at me. Karma and I have been flirting non-stop over the past couple of weeks. Any time we come close to letting it get physical she backs down quickly. I can tell that she wants it to but we’re both terrified to lose what we have now. I feel like I finally have my best friend back. My best friend who I desperately want to kiss again. We never speak of the kiss in the garage or the date. It’s like we’re both avoiding the terrifying reality of our past relationship seeping into our new life. Something I’m happy to do for now. I need Karma right now and if having her as a friend is the only option right now I’ll take it.
Karma loves Sophie. I can see it in her eyes when she looks at the little girl. It’s obvious to me that she’s terrified that if we get together I’ll run again and this time I’ll take Sophie with me. I can’t blame her for thinking that, I’ve done it before why wouldn’t I do it again. We still haven’t faced our past together. How can we expect to start a new relationship when we still haven’t dealt with the residual feelings from the last one. I love Sophie enough to know that I can’t act on my growing feelings for Karma. Sophie is the most important thing in my life right now. I need to stop acting impulsively like a reckless teenager and start basing my decisions on her.
I can’t sit around everyday and do nothing all day everyday apart from being a 'Mom’. It’s just not in my nature, I need to be doing something active with my life, I need to be performing surgery. I have job security waiting for me in North Carolina, the hospital has been calling me non-stop wondering when I’ll be coming back. To be honest I’ve been avoiding their calls. I’m so conflicted at the moment over whether it’s best for Sophie and I to stay in Austin or to pack up everything and move back to North Carolina. My dream job is waiting for me there, and judging by the amount of missed phone calls and texts I have from Steph so is she. I miss Steph but I just can’t bring myself to speak to her when I’m around Karma. Which is all the time lately. I know I was the ready to start something with her a couple of months ago but now I just miss my best friend. My heart feels like it solely belongs to the red head tangled up in the kite right now when I’m in Austin.
I can’t help but laugh at the image in front of me, Karma is currently wrapped up in the kite and Sophie is running around her in circles tying her up even more and giggling constantly. I notice Karma’s head turn in my direction and she smiles a toothy grin over at me. The grin that makes just want to walk over and kiss her. Sometimes I can’t tell if she’s flirting back with me or if she’s just being nice. When she brushes against me it sends shivers down my spine but she seems to be oblivious to it. I could easily let myself fall back in love with Karma but there’s a lot of risk involved in that. Risks that I’m not so sure I’m willing to take. What happens if we end up fighting all the time time and cold Amy comes back. Karma has a way of bringing her out in me when we’re at letterheads. What happens if Karma thinks of me in a purely platonic sense now. If I make move and things get really awkward Sophie will suffer the consequences and she needs me right now more than anyone else.
I lied to Karma and told her Steph and I arent speaking anymore. The guilt is eating me alive but Steph is my rock and I don’t feel like I can give her up.God why is this all so confusing. My phone buzzes beside me on the picnic blanket and I decided to pick it up for once since Karma is out of earshot. I’ve been dodging my phone calls lately to avoid Steph. I don’t want Karma to make any decisions about us based on Steph and I know if she finds out she will. I feel like I should tell her about Steph and I, but I’m afraid to lose her. She always suspected that Steph had a thing for me while we were dating and I always denied it. Playing on the fact that Karma is ridiculously insecure and making her feel like the crazy one. What’s she going to do when she finds out that she wasn’t being so crazy. How is she going to be feel when she realises that it was actually my ignorance to her feelings and not her insecurities that caused a lot of our arguments in our last year together. Am I really ready to accept the hatred and resentment she is bound to feel towards me? I mean she spent years working on herself to fix her insecurities and it turns out it was partly my fault too. I don’t know if I can let that damn of emotions explode at the moment.
'Hey Shane’ I say casually.
'Well hey there hot mamma! Finally you answer my call, how are things going? How is the precious little angel Sophie?’ he chimes in sounding too chirpy for my liking. When Shane is this happy it normally means he’s up to something.
'She’s coping, she starts kindergarten next week, its hard but we’re getting by together. That’s all that matter right?’ I say confidently. I can’t help but look up at Sophie while I’m speaking. She is doing so much better than she was a couple of weeks. Thanks to Karma. She’s the one who talks to the both of us about our emotions constantly, something I would never of been able to do by myself. 'Talking allows the soul to heal Ames’ I can hear her voice in the back of my head.
'That’s great to hear Ames. I bet that has a lot to do with a certain super red headed ex lover I noticed fawning over the two of you at the funeral. Have things gone bump in the night yet?’ I knew he was up to something. Shane can never have a simple conversation without a hidden agenda.
'No Shane, things have not gone bump in the night. We’re not horny teenagers any more. She’s been helping me with Sophie. Karma was Lauren’s best friend. So drop it. She doesn’t have romantic feelings for me any more’ I sounded so confident in the beginning and my voice just had to drop that octave lower didn’t it.
'Oh so you won’t mind if I invite myself over for dinner and a bottle of wine this evening then. I’ll bring the wine, oh and Amy, don’t try and send Karma home before I get there. Three old friends catching up on old times. It will be fun! I’ll be there at eight sweety!’ This guy never quits. I need to somehow convince him tonight that I’m not into Karma any more.
As if right on cue I look up and smile goofily at Karma who beams back at me signalling for me to join her and Sophie. I get up of the blanket and start running towards my girls making Sophie squeal and Karma giggle. I finally reach them and trip, knocking Karma over onto the grass.
'Oh my god Karms I’m so sorry, are you hurt?’ I say still hovering over her checking for scratches. My breath hitches in my throat when our eyes meet. My eyes flicker from her eyes to her lips and I lick my lips slowly leaning down. Just as I’m about to kiss Karma Sophie tackles me and I fall off Karma to the side.
'Aunty Abey leave Karme alone you big meanie!’ She says squealing and jumping around excitedly. I quickly hop up to my feet and notice Karma is still laying on her back looking up at the sky with her hand on her lips. I start chasing Sophie around pretending to be monster when Karma finally stands up.
'Are you hurt Karms? I’m really sorry, I just lost my footing’ I say as casually as I possibly can. I don’t want there to be any awkward tension over our almost kiss.
'Relax Ames’ she says out loud 'That’s not the first time you’ve thrown yourself on top of me’ she whispers seductively in my ear before walking over to pick up the kite. Making sure to bend down nice and slow enough for me to admire her and giving Sophie enough time to tackle me to the ground again.
So I’m not alone in my flirting.
………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
An hour or so later the three of us are sitting in Karma’s car heading back to my mom’s house. I’m driving to give Karma a break, she’s been driving the three of us everywhere lately and I feel like she deserves a break. Plus, I love her driving around. She’s leaning against the window with her shades on looking out and I can’t help but wonder what she’s thinking about.
'Penny for your thoughts Kamrs?’ I say glancing in my rear view mirror to check and see if Sophie is still sleeping.
'hmm… Oh nothing… I was just thinking that this is really nice isn’t it… I mean the three of us spending time together like a real family. Sophie seems like a completely different kid to a couple of weeks ago’ her voice is soft. She sounds so vulnerable at the moment. I reach over to her resting hand on her thigh with my free hand and intertwine our fingers. I love holding her hand. If Sophie’s asleep I’m not doing any harm so why not. Everything feels easier when I’m holding Karma’s hand. Touching her is magical.
'Yes it is really nice, I’m really happy too Karms. I never thought I would be when I heard about Lauren. But somehow, right now, with the two of you, I am. Thank you for being here’ I say with as much sincerity as I can muster. I can feel her playing with my fingers in her lap and I love it. It’s going to be so hard to hide these feeling from Shane later tonight. Shit, that reminds me I need to invite her or Shane will freak out.
'Oh Karms will you stay for dinner? My treat? Shane’s coming over for a bottle of wine and I… I mean he really wants you to be there’ I’m blushing now. Shit, I hope she doesn’t look up. We’ve been flirting for the past couple of weeks non-stop but I kind of feel like I just took it a step further.
'If you want me too then of course I will’ Karma replies out after a small period of silence. I can feel her hand sweating in mine so I reassuringly squeeze it. She looks over at me grinning from ear to ear behind her shades.
A song comes on the radio and ruins our moment…
'Oh my god Ames this is my jam at the moment, turn it up a bit’ she quickly bounces up in her seat and starts clicking her fingers along to the beat. Then of course she starts singing;
Shawty, I don’t mind if you dance on a pole
That don’t make you a hoe
Shawty, I don’t mind when you work until three
If you’re leaving with me
Go make that money, money, money
Your money, money, money
Laughter erupts between the both of us so loud that it wakes Sophie up from her nap in the back of the car.
'Aunty Abey?’ Sophie chimes in tiredly wiping her eyes in the back of the car 'What’s a hoe?’
Karma covers her face in embarrassment removing her hand from mine. I instantly miss her touch. The two of us shift quickly to turn down the volume of the radio.
'The man’s singing about horns Soph. Like the horn in the car’ I say pressing the horn to make myself sound more convincing. I check the mirror to see if Sophie looks satisfied with my response and I see her dozing back of to sleep.
Karma and I look at each other and cover our mouths to muffle our laughs. She’s so cute and innocent.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………
A couple of hours later Karma, Shane and I are sitting sipping on a bottle of red wine in Farrah’s living room. We’ve just finished a semi-awkward dinner where Shane did nothing but grill Karma and I on our life decisions. Asking questions about things that are completely irrelevant to anything that’s going on in our lives right now. Bringing up embarrassing moments in our lives. Talking about how happy I was in the time Karma and I were apart. He even went as far as to mention Steph and at the moment I have never been happier that I didn’t tell him about Steph and I sleeping together for the past couple of months. It’s almost as if he’s trying to remind us that we live in two different worlds and to be honest I’m getting sick of it. Why did he act like he was so happy about me and Karma being together earlier and now he’s trying to drive us apart. I’m just ignoring him but I can see he’s having an affect on my red headed friend.
She’s swirling her wine around in her glass and looking anywhere and everywhere but at me. I can’t stop myself from staring at her, she looks absolutely beautiful in a simple black silky sleeveless dress and a pair of black heels. The dress hugs her curvy figure and leaves little or nothing to the imagination about what’s underneath it. Boy oh boy did I want to see what’s underneath it again. I need to ease the tension in the room before she freaks out too much and decides to head home and think about a million reasons why the two of us shouldn’t be together again.
'Truth or dare ladies’ Shane says topping up our glasses of wine 'Don’t even try and back out you both know how I feel about this game’
'Fine Shane, truth or dare?’ I ask determined to get one back on him tonight.
'Truth obviously’ he says feigning hurt that I even needed to ask.
'When’s the last time you had sex with your beloved husband?’ I ask. I know he’s hiding something from me right now and I’m nearly positive it’s to do with his marriage. If he’s going to try and meddle in my life I’m determined to meddle right back with his.
'Three months’ he blurts out covering his mouth when he realises what he said. He smirks at me. I can tell he’s out for revenge now. He looks over to Karma cocking his eyebrow 'Karma, Truth or Dare darling’
'Um… dare?’ she says un surely. Our eyes meet for a second and I can see her pleading with me to put a stop to him.
'I dare you to do a bodyshot of Amy!’ he’s beaming at her now. As if he has won the lotto of ways to embarrass me. Karma looks in between the two of us like he’s crazy to suggest something like that.
'What are you scared of your new best friend? Amy get your sexy ass onto the table and take your top of. Karma I’ll get the tequila darling’ I glare at him but make my way over to the coffee table in the centre of the room anyway and lie down on my back. I start to roll up my top when I feel two hands take mine away. Karma is looking down at me with this glint in her eye. She looks me in the eye as she rolls my shirt up my to just underneath my breasts.
Shane re-emerges with a bottle of tequila and pours it into my belly button and places the lime in my mouth. He grins at me devilishly before pushing my shirt up to my neck will I’m trapped and pouring the salt along the valley in between my bra clad breasts. Karma glares at him before she looks down at me and smiles nervously… wait did she just lick her lips too. Oh my god this is too hot for comfort. Karma starts to lean over when I decided to put an end to this stupid game. I stand up abrubtly from the coffee table and roll my shirt back down smiling apologetically at Karma before turning to Shane glaring.
'I think it’s time we all head home. Shane you call the couple of blocks can’t you? Karma I’ll call you a cab’ I say in a voice that is so fierce Shane doesn’t even try to fight me on this. He simply picks up his things kisses Karma on the cheek and heads out the door.
'Ames, I’ll just walk home too. It’s only a half an hour or so. I’ll be fine’ Karma calls out from the living room. I’m standing in the kitchen now breathing heavily and attempting to control my sexual urges. That was so hot. I really, really, really want Karma right now. I just don’t want to take advantage of her so I need to stop myself. My hands are clenching the kitchen counter and I’m still huffing trying to think of anything but the look in Karma’s eye when she was rolling up my shirt earlier.
A pair of hands slip around my waist from behind and I feel myself tensing up. I turn around slowly and see Karma looking at me with pure lust and desire. One of her hands is resting on my waist and the other is holding a shot of tequila. She pops open the buttons on my shirt until its completely open. She pours the tequila down the valley of my breast so that it runs all the way down my tensed stomach. I can feel the heat building between my thighs as she sticks a piece of lime into my mouth and cocks a perfectly shaped eyebrow at me whispering hoarsely 'I wanted to do it, just not with Shane watching’.
I nearly spit the lime out when her tongue licks the salt from my breast and then he drops to her knees in front of me. Licking the tequila upwardly of my toned stomach until she’s standing again. I’ve never been so aroused in my entire life than I am right now. She looks me in my eye begging me to signal for her to continue, I simply hook my arms around her neck and she leans in sucking the lime from my mouth before spitting it out and continuing to kiss me hungrily. The kiss is intense, it feels like all the feeling’s we’ve been having for each other over the past couple of months have boiled down to this moment. I run my tongue along her bottom lip begging her for entry. She opens her mouth letting out a soft moan when our tongues finally touch. I taste the familiar taste of Karma’s mouth and I cannot stop the growl that comes out of my mouth.
'Fuck Karma I want you so much. I’ve wanted to kiss you again since the garage’ I huff out in between kisses.
'I’m scared Ames, this is probably insane but I just know I need your right now’’ Karma says huskily.
'Maybe we should go on that date first… if you want to’ I say as she kisses her way down my neck.
'Do you want to stop?’ she asks pulling away and staring into my eyes looking for any inch of doubt.
'Fuck no’ I mutter diving back in.
I need more of her. I feel like I’m drowning in her again. Even if it is only for tonight. I pick up her by her thighs and she whimpers in surprise but keeps on kissing me. We battle our way into the living room groping each other over our clothes before Karma finally stops and pushes me away from her softly down onto the couch with a devilish look in her eye. For a split second I panic and think she’s going to put a stop to this as she starts walking towards the front door swaying her hips from side to side in a seductive manner. Then I see her take a turn towards the stairs slipping down the zip of her dress so that it falls to the ground and she’s standing in her matching black french knickers and bra. My mouth hangs open and I’m pretty sure if I don’t close it soon I’ll be drooling. Karma is walking up my stairs in nothing but her underwear and heels waving her perfect body in my face 'Are you coming? Or should I start myself’ I hear her seductively call from the top of the stairs.
It take’s all of about ten seconds before I’m up the stairs and into my childhood bedroom straddling a semi naked Karma on my bed. Boy does this bring back a lot of nice memories. Karma reaches up and brushes my hair back from my face before settling her hands on my hips and flipping us over. She pushes my shirt of my shoulders and I’m now lying beneath her in only my red lace bra and jeans. She starts kissing my neck slowly and cupping my breasts over my bra. I can tell she’s scared to do this because of what happened the last time we slept together at Shanes bachalerette party so I sit up and cup her face in my hands looking her directly in her hazel orbs which she shifts away from me nervously 'I’m not going to run out this time Karms… I promise, I wan’t you. I want us’ I say before leaning forward and crashing our lips together in another heated kiss. I push her backwards so that she’s now lying on her back and I make quick work of taking my jeans off. I attack her neck with kisses again sucking and biting my way down it making sure I mark her. I wan’t her to look in the mirror in the morning and remember the pleasure I’m about to give her when she sees the marks on her neck. I feel her wince in pain when I bite too hard on her pulse point so I soothingly lick the spot. Her hands are now undoing my bra which falls off my shoulders onto the ground. I start trailing kisses down her chest and pull the cup of her bra down so that I can take her hard nipple in between my teeth. At the same time I cup her other breast roughly with my hand and I can hear the sweet, sweet moans coming out of her mouth. I’ve waited so long to feel Karma writhing underneath me again in pure pleasure. I’m going to take my time with this and savour every ounce of pleasure I give her.
I’m start kissing my way down her stomach when I feel her roughly grab my ass cheeks in her small hands shifting me up the bed on my knees. I look down at her and see her smirking at me like she know’s something I don’t when I see her head disappearing in between my thighs. I brace myself holding onto the headboard when I feel her fingers slip my thong to the side and gently touch my entrance eliciting a small moan from my lips. Next thing I know her hands grab my hips and pull me down so that I’m my soaking wet pussy is now sitting on Karma’s face. Pleasure, is the understatement of the year. I can’t help the screams that come out of my mouth when I feel her eating me out with her expert tongue. 'Karma, baby, stop or I’m going to cum on top of you’ I gasp out and I can feel her hands grabbing my ass cheeks forcing me to grind my soaking wet pussy onto her dirty little mouth. The feeling in my stomach intensifies and next thing I know I’m cumming all over Karma’s face and boy does that thought turn me on again. The noise of her lapping up my final juices is enough for me to feel aroused again so I quickly remove myself from her face and lie down next to her trying to regain my composure from my mind blowing orgasm. I turn my head so that I can see Karma’s face and notice it’s covered in my cum. So I lean over her making sure to press my thigh in between her legs and apply a bit of pressure as I lick my own juices of her face. I kiss her swollen lips once more before flipping us over so that she is now riding my thigh. I reach up and grab her breasts fondling them as she moves herself over my bent knee moaning loudly.
'Faster baby’ she moans out huskily so I whip I grab her hips and help her to grind down on my thigh.
'Mmm… yeah baby you feel so good’ she growls as she forces my head into her breasts. I flip her over and look down at her grinning.
'Do you want me to fuck you baby?’ I say huskily biting her ear lobe.
'Please Ames… fuck me’ she cries out when she feels me slip two fingers inside of her roughly. I know she love’s it rough so I make quick work and add an extra finger. I can see her eyes are closed and she’s trying to push me off her to stop her orgasm but I’m not easing up. I add a fourth finger and circle her nub with my thumb as she writhes beneath me.
'Look at me babe… I want to see you’ I say and I force her to open her eyes in between her pleasure and look at me. One last pump of my fingers is all it takes for her to go straight over the edge screaming out my name in pleasure. She collapses underneath me and I let myself flop on top of her kissing her sweetly on the lips nuzzling my head into the crook of her neck.
'Amy that was…’ she starts off still out of breath.
'The best sex you’ve had in the past five years?’ I chime in licking her newly forming hickeys on her neck.
'I was going to say a good start but if that’s what you think then…’ I lift my head up from my position at her neck and see her grinning playfully at me. She’s so adorable.
'Your screams beg to differ babe, I’m surprised you didn’t wake Sophie up’ I say rolling of off her and signalling for her to come cuddle into me.
'I’m not your babe Raudenfeld’ she replies cheekily before wrapping herself around me.
'Oh but you wan’t to be Ashcroft. Who else can make you feel like I just did?’ I say to her arching my eyebrow. I’m feeling cocky right now. I can’t help it, all of our flirtations of the past couple of weeks have led up to this moment and it was mind blowing.
Karma places her hand on my cheek forcing me to meet her eyes and looks at me seriously. The flirty vibe has left the room and I can tell that what she’s about to say next is coming from her heart.
'No one else Amy. No one else can make me feel this way’ she whispers before placing a loving kiss on my lips and tucking herself into me to fall asleep.
'No one can make me feel the way you do either’ I whisper into her auburn locks. I feel her grip my waist a little bit tighter and rest her hand on my bare stomach. Her touch sends shivers down my spine. I look down at her sleeping figure nestled into my side and my heart aches I’m starting to feel like I’m falling in love with her all over again.
I need to figure out a way I can stay in Austin. Being just friends with Karma Ashcroft is not an option for me. It never has been.