So I'm thinking about changing up my hair colour again this winter. It's been red, it's been purple, it's been blue (accidentally) and now I'm thinking of going burgundy.. WHO KNOWS? To be fair, it'll be any hair colour that I can get away with at work.
It made me think of all the issues and irrational panics that I've had, ever since starting to dye my hair. It's the inevitable burden of dyeing your hair a vibrant, unnatural colour. Almost like someone up there somewhere is saying "this is what you get for changing the hair that Nature gave you AND IT SERVES YOU RIGHT"
This blogpost is more geared to my Bleached and Semi-Perm friends but anyone who's ever dyed their hair themselves will get what I'm talking about. THE STRUGGLE IS REAL!
1) Your Bathroom Will Never Be The Same Again
Whether you're dyeing your hair or just washing your coloured locks, your bathroom will inevitably end up looking like a murder scene. (In my current case, my victim had purple blood, maybe like some sort of Hello Kitty?)
No matter how quick you are to wipe any colour away, over time your lovely white walls and polished bath tubs will take on a slightly stained look due to the huge waterfall of colour that gets released everytime you wash your hair.
And heaven forbid you forget to wipe that fresh stain off - I had a permanent red blob on my wall for at least a year. It looked like something had hit the wall and slid all the way down
2) The New No-No's
Meet your new public enemies. Swimming Pools. Hotel Towels. White Pillowcases. Log Flumes. Strong sunlight. Stay away from all involved, for fear that your hair fades or goes green and ruins all the fancy (and chargeable) laundry.
Be prepared to bring a small hand towel with you on all hotel stays going forward. You will also invest in every single UV protection product out there.
3) What Would Happen In A Thunderstorm?
It's never happened. But you do wonder if your hair will suddenly just bleed all over your clothes. Just one of the many irrational thoughts I have. I also have a fondness for "what would happen if only one side of my head was in the sun for a very long period of time?" I sigh.
4) Your Best Light
You wish every light was morning daylight - you know, the kind of gorgeous white light that makes your colour really pop and look EXACTLY like it did on the box. If only we could transport it around with us in a little spotlight, unleashing bursts of glorious vibrancy at a moment's notice...
Like this picture! The stuff that #NoFilter dream are made of.
5) Mysterious Bruising
You end up with patches of dye on your skin and you will never notice these until someone points it out. In front of everyone. Loudly.
TIP: It's almost always behind your ear. But no amount of vaseline on your hairline will prevent it. Forget about what Cosmo tells you. They're not the ones kneeling over a bathtub trying to work magic with ill-fitting plastic gloves. Stains will happen - get your trusted housemate/other half/helper monkey to give you a wipedown with a flannel STRAIGHT after dyeing.
6) Mother Always Knows Best
Unless your parents are super cool, it's likely that they will CONTINUALLY make reference to your original colour. "But what was wrong with your natural colour? It was so beautiful!" Gahhhh.
You might have urges to match your hair
7) Knowing When To Cut It
Yes yes, you KNOW your hair quality aint great after all the bleaching, so you swear you will cut it..... after you've worn this colour a little bit more. I keep saying that, but I keep just topping up my hair and it's now grown past boob length.
If I cut it, that's like 5 months of bleaching efforts and colour corrections wasted...right??? All the best bits are at the ends! Forget about split ends, I don't want to go back to the beginning.
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8) Dyeing Your Dyed Hair Is Scary EVERY TIME.
It's like playing Russian Roulette. If you're doing it yourself, you read and re-read the box instructions a MILLION times and even consider taking advice from Yahoo Answers (of whom most of the answerers can barely spell)
Please tell me my hair won't be like the colour that's washing out in the water.... Please tell me it will look different when it's dry... Please tell me that my hair colour will change after I've slept on it?
Oh - and bleaching already-coloured hair is a whole new level in itself. For reference, bleaching over semi-permanent purple will in fact turn it green. Fortunately it can be covered by more semi perm. PHEW.
9) Feel The Heat
You know hot water is a straight up going-to-hell cardinal sin for coloured hair, but a steaming hot shower is just sooooooo damn good. I feel like Daenerys from Game Of Thrones. I can't bear a cold hair rinse in Winter. Or Summer. Or ever.
For a cold rinse, you genuinely will consider just washing your hair in the sink because the rest of your hot bod can't bear a cold shower. Evidence as shown below.
My Coloured Hair Heroes
La Riche - Violet Directions Hair Dye
Schwarzkopf LIVE Color XXL Ultra Brights 94 Purple Punk
TIGI Bed Head Colour Goddess Miracle Treatment Mask
eSalon Colour Illuminating Shine Spray
Disposable Plastic Gloves (Pack 100)
Do you colour your own hair? Tell me you go through these struggles too?!
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