Lauren Gaskill

John 15:1-2 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.” 

Everything started in a garden. And while we no longer have physical access to the Garden of Eden, we do have access to the garden of our hearts, where spiritual access to God’s kingdom has been restored and the real work takes place.

Jesus said “the kingdom is within you” (Luke 17:21), and in John 15, He illustrates God’s role in tending to what each of us holds inside. God the Father is the Master Gardener who tends to the garden of our hearts and what grows there. The “pruning” or “cutting off” is how he disciples and removes things that hinder growth and fruitfulness.

It’s true that God is always loving us, but He is also always pruning, healing, stretching, maturing, guiding, teaching and encouraging us. As the Master Gardener, He never stops tending to us. In the highlands and the heartache, He is always tending to our needs and equipping us to tend to our own needs and the needs of those around us.

In this season, more than ever before, I am learning the power of partnering with God to tend to the garden of our hearts.

Being a working mother of two who is once again healing and recovering from some physical and emotional woundings has stretched me more than I thought possible. But instead of seeing this season as yet another setback, God has invited me to see it as an opportunity to level up and be transformed.

When we find ourselves in stretching seasons, the temptation is to wish it away — to skip to the good part. This is a completely normal human response. And yet, I am finding that more often than not, it is in these moments that God wants to meet us in the messy middle, give us a pair of garden gloves and ask us to get to work with Him.

If you’re in a stretching season, God wants to be the help, strength and comfort that you need. He wants to tend to your heart and show you how to tend to yourself and others as He does a deep work within you. All that is required is a willingness to turn to Him and ask what tending to yourself and others might look like?

For me, it’s been a combination of seeking out practical help, being more intentional about moving my body, working on my thought life, and choosing to focus on the good despite the things that aren’t so good. For you, it might be reaching out to a friend, eating a special treat, doing a meditation, trying something new, or celebrating the progress you’ve made.

One of the easiest ways I believe we can partner with God in tending to the garden of our hearts is by speaking truth, safety, love and grace to our inner being. I call these messages “scripts for stretching seasons.” I’ve included a few below that are ministering to my heart in this season, but I want to encourage you to spend some time with the Lord asking what messages might minister better or more deeply to your heart for your specific circumstances.

I love you. You’re doing great. Better than you think you are. In all your tending to those around you, don’t forget to tend to yourself too, OK? And trust that as you do these things, God is doing a deeper tending and mending that will bring great beauty and goodness into your life.

As a man thinks in his heart, so is he. What you think about when you think about yourself matters and ultimately is who you will become. Read on for more encouragement …

Over the past several months, God has gently been nudging me to deeply consider once again what type of woman, wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend that I want to be. This isn’t the first time He’s asked me to do this, nor do I think it will be the last. But with each and every season of reexamination I receive more clarity on who I know He made me to be and what I want to be remembered for.

God’s invitation came after a series of hard weeks with our firstborn, that, while I’m not proud of it, ended in raised voices and tears for every person in our household. One particular night after both the boys were asleep, I walked into the garage so that my crying wouldn’t wake them.

Negative thoughts started to bombard me and try to pull me into a victim mentality. Gosh, I am failing and ruining everything. I’m just too tired for all of this. Why is this happening to me? This isn’t fair. Maybe I don’t have what it takes. Why did I think I could handle having two kids? Sitting in a puddle of tears and snot, I said to myself, “No. I’m not partnering with this line of thinking anymore. This is not who I want to be. I don’t want to be remembered for being a frustrated, overstimulated, uninspired, sad person, and I know that’s not who I really am. God, help.”

Immediately, God reminded me of a conversation between my Dad and I a few months earlier. We’d talked about some of his experiences growing up in a little town in Michigan, and how his mother shaped who he became. “Ida Bell was a calm force,” he said. “She was always there for us and loved us well.”

I never had the privilege of meeting my grandmother Ida Bell, as she passed away when my Dad was a young adult, but I’ve been fortunate to have a wonderful friendship with my other grandmother, Marlene. She, too, is a calm force and has always been there for me, loving me well. As I reflected in the garage that night, in my heart I knew that type of person — the person who is a calm force, always there and loving her people well — was who God made me to be.

“Lauren, that is the truth about who you are,” I felt the Father say. “You just need to see yourself rightly. Remember my word, Proverbs 23:7, ‘As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.’ If you keep thinking of yourself as failing, unfit, angry, tired, etc., then that is what you will see more of. Come up here. See yourself the way I see you.”

See yourself the way I see you. This is God’s invitation to all of us — to get His perspective in a way that captivates our hearts and helps us see who we really are.

Momentary struggles or feelings cannot take away the truth: Because of Christ we are made new and being renewed each and every day. Because of Christ we lack nothing and have access to Living Waters that give us what we need to be who He made us to be. Because of Christ we don’t have to believe the narrative that we’re too much, not enough, a failure, etc. Because of Christ we can overcome all negative thinking and victim mentalities to be more than conquerors through Him and radiantly shine His love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, self-control, and more to the world.

Do you need to reconsider the type of person you want to be? Do you need fresh perspective that will help you walk out of whatever lies you are believing about yourself and into the truth? My prayer for you in this season is that God would remind you who you really are and that you would see yourself rightly for the amazing new creation in Christ that you are. With God’s help, we really can choose the type of person we want to be. And that’s a convicting, powerful and beautiful thing.

Pray with me: Jesus, thank you that I don’t have to succumb to negative narratives about who I am or who you made me to be. I ask you to speak to my heart truth that will propel me forward. Show me what labels or untruths I need to leave behind. Give my heart something new to meditate on that will positively impact who I am becoming.

A few weeks ago, I walked up our pantry hallway as I wrapped up a late night conversation with my mom. My stomach grumbled, begging me to find something to eat. I reached for the pantry doorknob, but out of the corner of my eye, I noticed something odd. The wooden picture frame for a butterfly art piece we have hanging in the hallway was warped.

“What in the world?” I said.

“What’s going on, Lauren?” My mother replied.

“A picture frame I have downstairs is warped, but I don’t know why. Something isn’t right …”

I took a step back to see a black dot starting to take over part of the picture. Nooooooooo, I thought to myself. I lifted the frame and gasped, completely shocked to see mold spreading over this entire section of the wall.

Suddenly, everything started to make sense. Our family had been sick constantly for four months and most of us were still struggling with respiratory issues. My husband was faring better than the rest of us, but he was in the house for a shorter amount of time than we were. On top of all of this, when I had been praying several months before this, asking the Lord for wisdom as to why we’d been getting sick so often, He had in fact whispered, “mold” to my spirit. But now that the truth had been exposed, I couldn’t believe it.

Time passed and we got our house tested and several remediation companies came out to give us quotes. We started to learn that just because you have insurance doesn’t mean they cover things, even when there is a legitimate reason for damage. Meanwhile, work escalated to higher-than-usual levels of stress. Throw in other random things like me breaking several glasses on accident somehow, my left arm swelling for no apparent reason, and our son deciding he was done with naps, even though he isn’t ready for that yet, and you have a recipe for CHAOS.

If you’re living and breathing, you know what it’s like to experience times of high stress and chaos. It’s part of the territory that comes with living here on earth. Thankfully God Himself is our peace (see Ephesians 2:14), and His Word is full of the truth our hearts need when the world around us is shaking. If you need peace today, here are 7 verses to pray when you desperately need it. Let me know which one blessed your heart the most in the comments!

Friend, before we get to the verses, I want to personally invite you to find peace, rest, joy and healing at the She Found Joy Retreat this year. Come encounter His love among a small group of soon-to-be friends in the mountains of Spruce Pine, North Carolina and apply today.

7 Verses to Pray When You Desperately Need Peace

Psalm 94:16-19

“Who will rise up for me against the evildoers?
Who will stand up for me against the workers of iniquity?
Unless the Lord had been my help,
My soul would soon have settled in silence.
If I say, “My foot slips,”
Your mercy, O Lord, will hold me up.
In the multitude of my anxieties within me,
Your comforts delight my soul.”

Pray the Word: Thank You, Lord, that You rise up for me against my enemies. Thank You that You are my help, and You keep me from stumbling. Thank You that Your mercy upholds me. Thank You that when anxiety is great within me, I can turn to You and be comforted and receive the peace I need.

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It was a Friday night at the end of a long and hard week. I stood over the kitchen sink, trying not to burst into tears or overthink. But no matter how many deep breaths I took, I couldn’t shake the heavy weight. I wanted to scream into a pillow or run until I reached a deserted place.

I closed my eyes and whispered, “Jesus help. Today wasn’t just hard. Today was blisteringly frustrating. Bewildering. Energy sapping. Rage inducing. I am exhausted mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually and relationally. Please. Help.”

If any of this resonates with you in week or season you’re in right now, or you find yourself having a hard day later down the road, I hope the reminders He gave me will minister to your soul. Here’s what He said.

#1 Sometimes life feels hard. That’s OK.

It’s true, sometimes there is just no sugar coating it. But you can still look for the good in the hard. As I sensed the Lord encouraging me to look for the good, glimpses of beauty came to my remembrance.

Did my child whine all day and did work blow up in my face? Yes. Did several things get broken in my house and did I spend a large portion of the day cleaning up glass and other debris? Yes. Did my husband and I not communicate as lovingly and as well as we usually do? Yes. Did I not have a moment to myself? Yes. But then there was the moment my son ask me to hold him. The moment he gobbled up the soba noodles I made us for dinner with a half smile. The moment my dog nuzzled me with delight as I massaged his ears.

There was beauty and good in the hard. Maybe it didn’t outweigh the number of minutes of what felt really difficult, but it was there. Focusing on those moments and letting the rest fall to the wayside really helped put some things into perspective.

#2 Give yourself grace.

So you didn’t handle everything perfectly 100% of the time. It’s OK to acknowledge where you need to grow and improve, but you don’t need to beat yourself up about those things. Honestly, sometimes as women of faith, we extend more compassion to others than we do to ourselves.

God isn’t sitting on His throne wagging His finger at us saying “Shame on you, you should know better,” when we mess up. Yes, there is a place for correction and repentance, but also, if you’re yielded to and pursuing Jesus, cut yourself some slack. Sometimes, you’re going to mess up even when you’re trying to be the person you know God created you to be. Remember:

There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death. -Romans 8:1-2 NKJV

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Can I confess something to you?

Lately, I’ve been tempted to feel insignificant, irrelevant or even overlooked. Have you ever felt that way? For me, a big part of this stems from the struggle to balance motherhood, ministry and work.

To tell you the truth, the last three years it has felt like my ministry has been on life support. Sure, God has been kind to bring me speaking opportunities, and I so enjoy connecting with you all on social media, through the newsletter, or through the She Found Joy Podcast and retreat.

But the world feels increasingly disconnected. The digital experiences that once fostered connection, now oftentimes add to the noise. 

A few weeks ago, upon learning that the publisher I was going to release my second book with is closing its doors, I found myself feeling like Michael W. Smith, once again just trying to find my place in this world (anyone else listen to “Place In This World” on repeat in the 90s?).

What am I doing? Where do I go from here? Where do I belong? Have I made the right choices for this season? The questions hit me like hail falling on a tin roof as the room spun around me like a wild carnival ride. Maybe you can relate or have been asking yourself similar questions in this season.

Trusting God When You Don’t Know the Next Step

Then I heard His voice. “Can you trust me even when you don’t know the next step to take? Even when there are seemingly no open doors to walk through? Even when the roadmap is unclear?” He whispered.

In our faith journeys, there are seasons where doors fling wide open and it feels like God puts neon arrows over certain decisions, relationships, callings, etc. Then there are other seasons, where the path before us feels very unclear. We might have general words from God about the direction of our lives, but the day in and day out of what we are doing, that is where it can get very hazy.

In this season, where I’ve been trying to find my place again in life, I find myself thinking a lot about Mary. She knew she was going to carry and give birth to Jesus. But she didn’t know the 1,000s of steps that were going to come after that.

Despite the unknowns, she stayed close to God’s heart, and loved the ones in front of her. And you know what? She didn’t miss out on God’s purposes for her life.

What a comfort. To know that, as it says in Proverbs 3:6, when we seek His will in all we do, He will show us which path to take. Day by day. Step by step. Breath by breath.

We don’t have to have all of this figured out. Let me say that again but in a different way: God is not asking us or expecting us to figure everything out. That’s why He sent the Helper. Because, oh how we need Him. Every hour we need Him.

Our True Purpose and Place In This World

In all the detours, delays and season changes, He is the author and finisher of our faith. We might not understand the point or reasons behind every season in life, but when everything is stripped away and we have nothing left to lean on, we remember that our true place and purpose in this world is to love and be loved.

For God so loved the world. For God so desperately wanted to restore us to sonship so that we could return to the garden and dwell in intimacy with Him. To once again be close enough to feel His heartbeat and drink in and delight in His love and all He is.

Our job is not necessarily to know where the road is leading, but to stay close to the One who is able to get us where we need to be. More than anything we do, more than any of the titles we wear — mother, daughter, sister, wife, friend — the most wonderful thing is that we’ve been given a place in Christ, the way to the Father, to dwell in eternal love.

If we never achieved anything. If we never checked anything off our dream list. Would it be enough to just be His? My prayer is that for everyone reading this, your answer would be yes. And hey, if you don’t understand the season you are in and are tired of the haze, you can ask Him: “Hey God, what are YOU doing in this season? What are you doing in my heart? Is there anything you’re trying to teach me?” He may or may not give you a ton of detail, but it never hurts to ask.

May His Word and presence be a lamp unto your feet and a light unto your path in this and in every season. You’re not alone in this journey. And if the path continues to remain hazy? Stay close to His heart. Be patient in the waiting. He’s not going to let you miss what He has for you.

P.S. 10 days ago, for KING + COUNTRY just released a remake of “Place In This World” feat. Michael W. Smith, which is wild to me, because I’ve been hearing this song in my spirit for the entire month of January. I do feel like many in the Body of Christ are in a season of great transition, trying to find their place in this world, so I hope my story and encouragement could bless some of your hearts today. Share this post with a friend who needs it!

Love you,

Lauren

As we head into the new month, God has been speaking to me about the power of breathing. Yoga and new age practitioners are notorious for talking about the breath in a worldly or misguided spiritual context, but let it be known the breath was God’s first. There’s nothing woo woo about the breath. The breath is holy. For it’s in Him we live and move and have our being (Acts 17:28), and the breath we breathe is the breath He gave to us.

In Genesis 2:7, God breathed into Adam’s nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. Again in John 20:22, we see Jesus breathe on His disciples and fill them with the Holy Spirit. Without this breath, we cease to have life on this earth. So, if God is the God of life and the enemy of our souls is, as John 8:44 shows us, pro-death — a murderer from the beginning — then being aware of and thankful for the gift of breath, this life, is a powerful thing. 

Perhaps that’s why scientific study after study after study is showing that making space to be conscious of our breathing can change our lives for the better. To quote Duke Health, “The simple act of conscious breathing can yield many benefits for our physical, mental, and emotional well-being. From stress reduction to improved focus, enhanced emotional regulation, and better sleep, scientific research supports the positive impact of breathing exercises. So, the next time you feel overwhelmed or stressed, take a moment to pause, close your eyes, and take a few deep, intentional breaths. Your body and mind will thank you for it.”

What’s most interesting to me is that to experience the benefits of breathing, we first have to make room to quiet and separate ourselves from all of the distractions of this world. To be still and know that He is God and that this very breath we breathe came from Him. This is countercultural from the stressful world we live in that just wants to keep us busy.

You see, the name of the game for the enemy since the beginning was always to distract us from what we already had. Adam and Eve already were like God. They were created in His very image. But he made them think that they were lacking. Similarly, today he distracts us with stress and chaos. The temptation in times of stress is to tense up and for our breathing to become shallow (or for us to hold our breath). I don’t have space to share the detrimental impacts of this in this blog, but suffice to say that it’s not good for us. Being unconscious of our breathing during times to stress can hijack our nervous system, bodily functions, emotions and so much more.

We can begin to think we’re broken or doomed to be an anxious person, but sometimes all we need to do is stop and breathe. Sure, there is a place for other helps, including medication if the Lord leads you to it, but I’m telling you. Take a week to make conscious breathing and becoming aware of Emmanuel, God with us, a priority. Practice conscious breathing the moment you wake up, for several minutes on and off throughout the day, and before you go to bed. For a solid week. As you breathe, imagine Christ in you, the hope of glory, supplying you with every breath — keeping you alive and safe. Know that He loves you and He is your peace. Don’t overanalyze your breathing, just be aware of how nice it is to breathe in His peace, and out the stress, doubt, frustration, or whatever you’ve been holding inside.

There’s power in the blood of Christ that saves us from sin, and there’s power in the breath of God that gives us life.