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We have been blessed with four children who have significant anxiety issues. A couple years ago I stumbled upon an idea while reading one of my favorite blogs, The Chaos and the Clutter. At that point I had never heard of an anti-anxiety kit before. After reading about it, I knew I needed to put one together for each of my children. It took time, but eventually I created a kit specific to the needs of each child in the house. We've had them for a year now. These kits have made a world of difference. I seriously don't know how I lived without them.
Since we've had so much success with the kits, I decided to share them all with you, describing why each item is in each kit. It's my hope that if you have an anxious child in your home, you'll find inspiration here to put together your own kit.
Over the years, Dinomite's list of diagnoses has grown. He was diagnosed with autism at age 4. Two years ago, he was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Last year ADHD was added to the list.
Dinomite becomes anxious in anticipation of events, activities, changes in routines and schedules. He suffers from neophobia, which means a fear of new things. Dinomite's anxieties effect him in big ways in every aspect of his life, whether it be new activities on our learning time shelves, a new food being cooked in the kitchen, the rearranging of a room, and always when we go somewhere he's never been before. Combine this with Dinomite's rigidity and need for rituals, and you have a lethal combination.
Dinomite also becomes anxious when he's on sensory overload. He is hypersensitive when it comes to olfactory, visual, tactile, auditory, vestibular, and proprioceptive input. Basically this means Dinomite is extra sensitive to everything around him, making sensory regulation extremely difficult.
When Dinomite becomes overwhelmed with sensory stimuli, he can become physically aggressive. This doesn't happen often, but it does happen. When anxious, Dinomite tends to meltdown uncontrollably for hours at a time, and/or ends up in his room or the peace corner laying in the fetal position.
Dinomite is very verbal, but has significant deficits in the area of pragmatics. He has low muscle tone and struggles with coordination.
Dinomite's anxiety kit was put together with all of the above information in mind. Here's what's included:
1. The Toysmith Wood Fidget Puzzle has been in our home for years. It works perfectly when Dinomite becomes anxious and needs to work with his hands. We've also seen how it can help him stay still and quiet in places where that's required.
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3. Snug Safe n Sound Kids Earmuffs / Hearing Protectors are one of the most important items in Dinomite's kits. He uses them all the time at home during learning time and on the go, when he knows we'll be going somewhere with loud noises. They work very well. (I've used them myself to protect my ears during Sunshine's rages.)
4. The SanDisk 8GB Clip Jam MP3 Player is essential to Dinomite's kit for several reasons. There are times when sound blocking headphones just aren't enough to block out sounds around him. Music on the other hand, can be a great distraction. When Dinomite is anxious, and just can't pull it together, listening to soothing music helps him more than anything else, especially when he's started to meltdown or is found laying in the fetal position.
5. Maxell AMP-B Amplified Heavy Bass Headphones are used with Dinomite's MP3 Player, as he does not like items being placed in his ears. They fit him very well and are used in a variety of settings.
6. The Bird Songs of the Northwoods (Soothing Sounds of Nature) CD is the perfect way to calm Dinomite. He LOVES nature, especially birds. As he focuses on their different calls and songs, his breathing improves and his body relaxes. This music is downloaded to his MP3 Player.
7. The Kick to Get Fit Jr. - For Kids DVD is used when Owen needs to regulate in a physical way, especially when he's on the verge of becoming aggressive. This DVD is simple and easy to follow. Dinomite loves it.
8. Raptor! A Kid's Guide to Birds of Prey is the perfect book for kiddos who love predators and birds. Dinomite loves to read, especially when the books are about animals. If he puts on his headphones and opens his book, while snuggling in the peace corner or in bed in his room, you can be assured he'll calm down in no time.
9. Hyperflex Stretchy Strings are amazing fidget toys for those who just can't keep their hands off things, aka Dinomite. They provide tactile input and so much more as you pull and stretch them like crazy. The only downfalls to these strings are that when let go off unexpectedly, they will spring back and can hurt. If you have a child who likes to wrap things around their wrists, these can be dangerous, as they'll cut off circulation.
10. Dinomite's SHARK TOOTH Silicone Necklace is almost always around his neck, otherwise he's chewing on LEGO tires. The kid has a constant need for oral stimulation and will resort to chewing anything. When we can't find his shark tooth necklace, gum is a great substitute, but doesn't provide relief for nearly as long. If you're considering purchasing a chew necklace for your child, be sure to order more than one as they are very easy to lose. (Trust me on this one!)
11. An Avengers Water Bottle with Flip-up Spout is always great to have on hand. It is amazing what water can do to calm a child down when needed. Dinomite takes his water bottle everywhere with him at home and in the community.
12. Cinnamon Sticks seem to help Dinomite when he needs a pleasant smell to replace another that is bothering him. They are small, all natural, and smell so good. Cinnamon sticks also help Dinomite to breathe better.
Bulldozer was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 2. At the age of 3 1/2, he received his official autism diagnosis.
As one might guess, Bulldozer is quite hyperactive. He has a constant need for visual stimulation and will get it anyway he can, even if that means watching items fly through the air, building and destroying LEGO sets, etc. At times this can be a result of craving sensory input, but at other times it's because he's completely overwhelmed with sensory input. Bulldozer is not one to sit still, or sit at all for that matter. He craves proprioceptive and vestibular input. Completing tasks is incredibly difficult,as Bulldozer is distracted by the littlest things, whether it's a sound he hears outside, a phrase he knows from a movie, or an added activity to our learning time shelves. Bulldozer has significant deficits in fine motor skills, leading our developmental pediatrician to believe that there may be an absence or underdevelopment of the corpus callosum. He also has auditory processing issues, which makes communication very difficult at times. With that said, Bulldozer has no filter and is VERY black and white with his thought process, not understanding gray areas at all. When it comes to gross motor skills, Bulldozer has low muscle tone and tires easily, especially in heat. He also lacks coordination and safety awareness. Bulldozer can be physically aggressive, but it's usually if someone is bothering him. Most often he's pretty laid back. Bulldozer has always been obsessed with balls, vehicles, whales, meteorology and astronomy. It makes perfect sense that he is a Star Wars nut as well. His anxiety kit was created with all of these things in mind. Here's what it contains:
1. Cinnamon Sticks are one of Bulldozer's favorite scents. Anything that reminds him of baked goods will work really. Pleasant scents can always improve Bulldozer's mood.
2. Spaghetti Balls feed into Bulldozer's need for visual stimulation, while also providing a tactile component that Bulldozer loves. The texture of a spaghetti ball is one of his favorites. At times I even find him placing it on his head, which is huge because he doesn't like anything on his head. If I have a spaghetti ball with me when I need Bulldozer to stay seated for a longer period of time, he's more apt to do so.
3. The Hyperflex Stretchy String has the same texture as the spaghetti balls and provides Bulldozer with input he needs whether sitting, standing or moving. Though these can hurt if pulled tight and then let loose, they are still a favorite, as they are just so much fun.
4. Liquid Motion Bubblers are a necessity for Bulldozer, especially if we're going somewhere I know he'll be sitting for a long period of time or he'll be overstimulated. He can literally stare at one of these things for an hour. They provide Bulldozer with the visual stimuli he craves in a safe way.
5. Automoblox Mini Vehicles provide Bulldozer with more visual stimulation when needed. He has always had an obsession with spinning objects. These tires always do the trick. The vehicles can also be taken apart and put back together, providing fine motor practice, but also fill that need to destroy and rebuild that Bulldozer has. I really can't say enough about these mini vehicles. They are wonderful!
6. Star Wars Water Bottle with Flip-up Spout is a necessity wherever we go. Bulldozer will not drink any liquids except water. It's one of his little quirks. Oh, and the water must be room temperature with no ice. This water bottle is a life saver, especially when Bulldozer becomes overwhelmed or unaware of his own needs. It also helps him during learning time. There's just something about him drinking water while he's working that helps him focus.
7. The Peterson First Guide to Clouds and Weather is similar to Bulldozer's favorite weather book. (His most favorite is out of print.) When he is in need of visual stimuli or self regulation, looking at pictures in a weather book does the trick. It can calm him when he's upset and when he's anxious.
8. Bulldozer's SanDisk 8GB Clip Jam MP3 Player (Green) is saved for occasions when he needs to block everything else out to stay regulated. With the proper music and headphones, Bulldozer can often calm down and focus.
9. Thundering Rainstorms are the perfect background music for Bulldozer when he needs to calm himself, focus, and/or regulate sensory wise. As mentioned before, Bulldozer is obsessed with weather. Listening to storms is his thing.
10. The Star Wars Darth Vader Stresshead Stressball is one of Bulldozer's favorite anxiety kit items at the moment. At times he may squeeze it, but he also enjoys bouncing it, pulling on it, etc. This stress ball is solid and was purchased because other stress balls had been destroyed. It always helps that it's the head of one of his favorite characters.
11. Darth Vader Headphones are required to listen to Bulldozer's thunderstorm soundtrack. He will not wear headphone in his ears, but struggles wearing anything on his head at the same time. Since these headphones have Darth Vader on them, he's more willing to use them, which then results in regulation etc. from music on the MP3 player. He has also used them with his Nintendo 2DS, while on vacation or in public places etc.
12. The Classic 3-Dimensional Pin Art Board has been in our home for years. Bulldozer loves it! It provides tactile and visual stimuli for him when he needs it most. It's also just a ton of fun to play with.
Princess suffers from Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and an anxiety disorder. She is extremely sensitive to light and tactile input, especially when it involves her hands and feet. This anxiety kit is less about keeping Princess regulated, and more about keeping her safe, and bringing her back to the present when needed. Triggers related to RAD and PTSD can spiral into horrific episodes that can be dangerous for Princess. From the moment she was able, she's exhibited self injurious behaviors, which are terrifying to me. But even worse than those behaviors is Princess' unwillingness and inability to ask for help in those moments when she needs it most, whether she's having flashbacks, nightmares, negative thoughts, and/or anxieties. When we do notice Princess is not doing well, by her extreme behaviors and emotions, we've been taught that the easiest way to bring her back to the present (especially when having PTSD episodes) is by stimulating as many senses as possible with enjoyable things that are present-focused. Once we are able to pull Princess out of an episode, it is extremely important to keep her hands busy with something productive. When Princess is anxious, she counts things, and it can go on forever, but if we keep her busy, or keep her counting something that's appropriate, it tends to help her. Princess' anxiety kit was designed with all of these things in mind. Here's what it includes:
1. A Melissa & Doug Deluxe Wooden Jigsaw Puzzle Bundle is the perfect way to keep Princess' hands and mind busy. She LOVES puzzles. They tend to calm her very quickly. I purposely purchase wooden puzzles so they are less likely to be destroyed.
2. Creativity for Kids Quick Knit Loom and other knitting and crocheting kits are included for those moments when she's anxious. The kits keep her hands busy and provide opportunities to count in appropriate ways. Princess must be supervised while using these kits due to potential for harming self and/or others with sharp objects.
3. Bath and Body Works A Thousand Wishes Shimmer Swirl Lotion is part of Princess' after bath routine. She loves to feel sparkly clean and smelling wonderful. Because of this already established routine and enjoyment, we are able to use this lotion when Princess has been triggered, to bring her back to the present where she is safe with us. The combination of scent and massage is very powerful. Scents work very quickly in the brain, "triggering" specific emotions and memories.
4. Disney Store Frozen Anna and Elsa Sunglasses are used when Princess goes outside in the sun, or needs to "hide" when anxious. It is amazing the sense of safety Princess feels while wearing sunglasses. They are a disguise of sorts.
5. Photo Albums in Princess' anxiety kit include pictures of her with me, in our happiest memory making moments. At Christmas time, photos are of Christmas' past with her brothers, sister, parents, and grandparents participating in traditions old and new, with the happiest of faces. These photo albums are yet another tool we use to bring Princess back to the present where she feels safe and connected. The photos are a visual reminder that she is older and bigger now, which is important because she was traumatized in her infancy, and regresses emotionally, feeling "small", when triggered. The visual stimuli is very powerful. At first I thought Princess may tear up the pictures, etc., but the albums are some of her most treasured objects.
6. A Water Bottle is crucial in Princess' anxiety kit. As an infant, before coming to our home, Princess was neglected and starved. To this day, she worries she won't be fed or have enough to drink. Whenever we go anywhere, we always have her water bottle and usually a lunch box full of snacks. At home she uses her water bottle when anxious. Drinking water does so much to help the body. And in those moments when she's in an episode, drinking water, can be the key to bringing her back to the present.
7. The Frozen Soundtrack has become Princess' favorite music of all time. Frozen was the first movie she ever saw in the theater. Elsa was the first character she ever related to on screen. "Let It Go" became a theme song for her and I, especially in those moments when she wasn't doing well. I can turn on the song, with speakers blaring, and it almost always brings her back to me in a positive way. This soundtrack is an auditory piece of her anxiety kit.
8. Princess was given a Dragon stuffed animal when she was an infant. It was a hand-me-down from her oldest brother. The dragon here is not the exact dragon she has, but it most resembles it and is being purchased as a replacement as her dragon has bit the dust. Princess has slept with this dragon and brought it everywhere. Where other children have blankies, she has "guy." That's the dragon's name. According to Princess, guy understands her. Guy is her best friend. Guy helps her sleep at night. And so, guy is a necessity in her anxiety kit. He provides something soft to hold. Princess loves to rub soft things against her face. It's a type of tactile input she's always enjoyed, even as an infant.
9. Crayola Color Wonder Disney Princess Glitter Paper and Markers are a fabulous safe way to provide an opportunity for stress relief, at the same time keeping the hands busy, and not inviting destructive tendencies, which Princess is prone to. I love that she enjoys coloring and that it does calm her when anxious.
10. Princess Adventure Stories is one of Princess' favorite books. She has read the book a thousand times, but always goes back for more. Not only does the reading keep her busy, but is helps ease anxieties as it blocks out scary thoughts she may be having. She loves to have these stories read to her as well. This book is also a fabulous auditory and visual tool to use to help Princess when she is in a RAD or PTSD episode, reminding her of happy safe moments with Mommy and Daddy.
11. Kids World Yoga is a tool we keep in Princess' anxiety kit to help her when she needs to breathe and be physical. Yoga requires her to focus on her body, balance, and breathing, which not only keeps her in the present, but does not allow as many opportunities to focus on negative thoughts and anxieties. Parts of the video introduces partner poses, which then invites opportunities for touch between Princess and a parent. During those times when Princess is not willing to allow us to comfort her in physical ways, this provides that component in a way that she's comfortable with.
12. Princess' Winter Snowman Plush Fleece Throw Blanket is in constant use. This blanket is the softest, largest throw blanket I have ever purchased. It is fabulous! Princess can wrap herself up to feel safe and warm, and can rub the blanket against her face to provide comforting tactile input.
Sunshine has been diagnosed with autism, ADHD, Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). She also has a mood disorder that will be officially diagnosed at her next appointment, now that she's 4 years old and enough data has been collected, medications tried, etc. The best way I can describe Sunshine is that she's a combination of my other three children and then some. Sunshine has Dinomite's rigid personality. Anything new sends her over the edge. She also has Dinomite's sensitivity to tactile, auditory, and vestibular input. Sunshine lacks safety awareness and can be distracted easily like Bulldozer. She craves proprioceptive input like he does and can NEVER stay still. Her RAD and PTSD episodes and behaviors are similar to Princess', as are her anxieties.
However, unlike her siblings, Sunshine is physically aggressive ALL THE TIME. Most often she chooses to harm others rather than harming herself. She can be verbally abusive. . Raging is a behavior we've come to expect and know all too well multiple times a week, and at times in a day. Her rages are so violent that she bursts the blood vessels in her face and neck on a regular basis. Sunshine stims on fine motor tasks. She exhibits several destructive tendencies: shredding books, magazines, sheets, couch cushions, and anything she can get her hands on. When given stuffed animals with button eyes or noses, she pulls them out. All plastic toys have been removed from play areas, as she has somehow managed to get the liquid out of pretend baby bottles, chewed the fingers off baby dolls, and chewed tops off of other plastic containers. To date she has disassembled three door knobs in the house and removed multiple knobs from dressers and cupboards, Sunshine also has an obsession with putting objects in and out of spaces, whether it be boxes, bags, heat vents, holes, etc. She must always have papers or books in her hands. This could mean she carries a receipt from the store everywhere or a pamphlet that came in the mail. Sadly, Sunshine's anxieties lead her to chew her fingernails and toe nails until they bleed. The most difficult aspect of Sunshine's behaviors is that she is triggered anytime she feels confined or restrained in anyway, due to previous trauma before coming to our home. She will never let you hold her to comfort her. Then there are the manic episodes... These just intensify EVERYTHING mentioned above with the addition of no sleep.
1. Big Girls Fluffy Boot Slippers With Bow are used on a daily basis as Sunshine craves input through her feet. The slippers provide a combination of tactile and proprioceptive input leaving her less likely to kick others. Slippers are soft, to prevent injury if thrown at someone.
2. The Disney Little Girls' Frozen Elsa Anna and Olaf Trio Of Arendelle Plush Robe is used to provide tactile and proprioceptive input in a way that Sunshine will accept, and help keep her regulated. She LOVES wearing layer upon layer of clothing at a time. (We have been discouraged from using weighted vests etc. as they will make her stronger, and trigger episodes if she feels restrained.)
3. Sunshine's Polka Dot Throw Blanket is provided to add one more layer of tactile and proprioceptive input throughout the day if needed. Even in 100 degree weather, Sunshine feels the need to be wrapped in a blanket. This blanket is breathable and thin enough where we don't worry about her overheating herself. Her blanket is also used in episodes and rages where we're unable to hold her to calm her. It seems to help her feel safe.
4. Applying Aquaphor Healing Ointment is the only way Sunshine has allowed us to provide effective deep pressure and massage, giving tactile and proprioceptive input to help regulate her. Other techniques such as compressions and brushing have been disastrous. We stumbled upon this miracle, as Sunshine suffers from eczema, and the ointment was needed to help her skin. Applying Aquaphor through deep massage can also help during an emotional episode.
5. The You Are My Sunshine Board Book is one of the very first books we ever gave Sunshine. As an infant I would sing this song to her every night at bedtime. When Sunshine is in the middle of an episode, I can start singing this song to her and it will help bring her back to the present. It also helps when she is feeling anxious.
6. Snug Safe n Sound Kids Earmuffs / Hearing Protectors help Sunshine when she is feeling overstimulated. The headphones block out sounds and help her focus. There are many times when Sunshine reacts negatively to loud noises and we use these as well.
7. Sunshine's Zak Hydro Canteen is always on hand, because just liker her sister, she always worries that she won't be fed or have enough to drink. Her panic in these situations can escalate physically in seconds. When we have her water bottle with us, we don't have to worry. Sunshine must be supervised with her water at all times, or else she dumps it all over herself and/or chews on the bottle.
8. The Madagascar Soundtrack contains one of Sunshine's Favorite songs, "I Like to Move It, Move It." When she was a toddler and became physical, I would turn this song on and we would dance. There were times when I can remember holding her as she jumped for the entire duration of the song on top of an exercise ball I had between my legs, just to receive the sensory input she needed, while being physical. Playing this song is a great way to bring her back to the present, invite positive physical movement, while having fun a the same time. It helps that Sunshine loves to dance.
9. Sunshine's Fisher-Price Clip-On Doodle Pro can come in handy when she feels the urge to write, draw, or pretend she's Doc McStuffins. However, there is always a risk of her throwing this object at something or someone, so she must be supervised at all times. Despite that risk, this activity does seem to calm Sunshine, hence why we keep it in the kit.
10. Her LEGO DUPLO Creative Play Toddler Build and Pull Along is something that has provided hours of stimming for Sunshine. She LOVES to put pieces together and pull them apart. LEGO DUPLO pieces are indestructible even for Sunshine. Sunshine must be supervised while doing this activity, as there is always a chance that she will throw the LEGO DUPLO pieces at another person or object.
11. The Stephen Joseph Cat Wallet provides the perfect item for Sunshine to put her papers in and out of, over and over again. She can open and close it as many times as she'd like as well. These are all behaviors that Sunshine craves.
12.Liquid Timers With Rotating Wheels are something we discovered Sunshine enjoyed looking at, as she always wanted to use her brother's. Though the liquid fidget toy will not help her stay still for long periods of time, it does appear to calm her. Once again though, this fidget can only be used with adult supervision as it can be dangerous if thrown or used to harm others.
As you can see anxiety kits come in many shapes and sizes. They are most successful when tailored to the individual needs of each child. Anxiety kits are not just for those with anxiety disorders or developmental disabilities. They can be used for trauma victims etc. Do you have an anxiety kit for someone in your home? What does it include?
For more ideas and resources about helping children with anxieties read this week's Learn & Play Link Up Features!
Our Tips for Soothing an Anxious Child from Mosswood Connections
Create Your Own Anti-Anxiety Kit for Children from The Chaos and the Clutter
How to Ease a Child's Anxiety at the Doctor's Office from Stir the Wonder
Self-Regulation & The Montessori Silence Game from Planting Peas
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