Hey everyone, are we sure that Peter Parker with Captain America’s shield is not just a glitch in the Matrix? Anyways, other stuff happened this past month (because now it’s April, can you believe it?).
Tv
— If you’re watching it, then it will probably return next year, because a shitload of series got renewed this month. CW’s executives clicked on “bulk renewal” and everything they’re currently airing (yes, Supernatural included. Yes, Supernatural is still on) got another chance at mediocrity (R.I.P. first season of The Flash).
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Then CBS said hey! We also have mediocre shows! and proceed to renew another eleven series, included Blue Bloods (Blue Bloods!) and 2 Broke Girls (I cannot…even). Supergirl is in limbo, but The Good Wife and Person of Interest are still gone. Way to go CBS.
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Netflix then woke up and yelled hey, what our mediocre shows? So of course Fuller House got a second season. Satan works in mysterious ways.
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For its part, FOX decided to renew Gotham for a third season (so they’ll bring back Cameron Monaghan right? Right?!), and also realized that by canceling Brooklyn Nine-Nine they would have to deal with a very angry me, so they decided against it. ABC also renewed its two fandom-cash-cows.
— Miscellaneous renewals: Mercy Street, Outsiders, Better Call Saul, Into the Badlands, Vikings and Lucky Man.
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Who’s (probably) coming back to TV or actually never left and is still trying: Leighton Meester, Jenna Fischer, Antonia Thomas, Alyssa Milano, Sam Neill, Christopher Mintz Plasse, Matthew Perry, Jason Lee, Stephen Fry, and Rainn Wilson. Keanu Reeves is a Swedish Dick and Garrett Hedlund is an Alienist.
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New trailers, more TV series! Do you ever get the feeling that there is such thing as too much? Just me? Here are the promos for Confirmation, Game of Thrones, The Ranch, Vice Principals, Game of Silence, Orphan Black, Veep, Silicon Valley, The Last Ship, Fear the Walking Dead and All the Way (though Bryan Cranston and Anthony Mackie together will never be a problem).
— American Gods added to cast here, here and here. Mr. Robot did the same with Craig Robinson (is he the third Office alum to get a job this month? He is, good catch, self!) and Sandrine Holt. Charlize Theron and David Fincher chose
Holt McCallany, Anna Torv and Jonathan Groff
to lead Mindhunter, while
Peter Serafinowicz is rebooting The Tick with Amazon.
Cinema
— You asked for more, and you got more! I’m assuming some of you must have asked for another movie about a young Barack Obama because it’s happening. Don’t look at me. This past month also marked an important and historical moment in superheroes movie history, as the first trailer for Electra Woman and Dyna Girl finally dropped!
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Idris Elba and Matthew McConaughey have been confirmed as the two leads for The Dark Tower, so everything is cool, everything is fine. Joseph Gordon Levitt got outta Sandman just a day after they announced the new writer (not a coincidence), while that Jump Street/Men in Black crossover you thought it was joke? Not a joke.
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Jake Johnson has been added to the cast of The Mummy, and you know what that means! He’ll probably go full meta and wear a shirt of the previous movies. Michael Keaton has been finally cast in a movie with a title that reflects his face, they’re finally doing the movie I wanted with the wrong face, and Margot Robbie stole the role of a lifetime from Amy Adams (come on, she’s Tonya Harding’s doppelgänger).
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Simon Pegg has been cast in Ready Player One and goddammit Spielberg, this is the best choice you’ve ever made. But goddammit Besson, armored boobs are never okay.
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The fifth Indiana Jones is officially on track. Is there anything left for Harrison Ford to reboot? First Star Wars, then Blade Runner, now this. Fingers crossed for Working Girl —The Recoking. And while we’re at it, you know what? This is just wrong.
Marvel
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The new trailer of…whatever, you know what I’m talking about, you probably had minor stroke watching it, right? Asking for a friend. Speaking of Spider-Man, the most random of casting news happened.
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Agents of SHIELD has been renewed, because Marvel needs a way to explain really important stuff that would take too long in a movie. And do I suddenly give a shit about Most Wanted because Oded Fehr is in it? You bet your ass I am.
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The second season of Daredevil is out and I really really really really really love Frank Castle and Elektra. There’s no news attached to it, I just wanted you to know. Also, Luke Cage comes out on September 30th (and if you missed it, you can watch the shortest of teasers here).
DC
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Suddenly, J.K. Simmons is cast as Commissioner Gordon and it makes so much sense you kinda feel like apologizing to Gary Oldman (and laugh in Ben McKenzie’s face too).
— Forget Gal Gadot and Wonder Woman, can somebody tell me how to stop looking at Robin Wright as Antiope?
Trailers and first looks
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Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping, Ice Age: Collision Course, Finding Dory, Rio I Love You, The Meddler, Ghostbusters (one and two), Middle School, The Adderall Diaries, The Trust, Me Him Her, Pet, The Idol, My Blind Brother, Florence Foster Jenkins,
Kubo and the Two Strings, A Hologram for the King (one and two), One More Time, Ben Hur, Now You See Me 2,
Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children, Green Room, Sausage Party,
The Huntsman: Winter’s War, April and the Extraordinary World, The Legend of Tarzan, Jane Wants a Boyfriend, Genius, The Shallows, Warcraft, Special Correspondents, Deepwater Horizon, Sky, The Nice Guys, Love and Friendship, Bridget Jones’s Baby, The LEGO Batman Movie (one and two), Last Days in the Desert, War Dogs, Pelé, Lights Out, 11 Minutes, The Conjuring 2, Alice Through the Looking Glass, Slack Bay, Nerdland, Search Party.
Adaptations
— Just kidding, they’re still setting up adaptations like there’s no tomorrow and no shame: The Von Bulow Affair, The Terror, Scalped, The Chronicles of Prydain, My Lady Jane, Map of Bones, The Tracking of a Russian Spy, Sorta Like a Rock Star, Wife 22, NW, The Nest, Siracusa.