Season 7:
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Revision as of 14:15, 10 September 2012
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=== 13 August 2009 [7.06] ===
=== 13 August 2009 [7.06] ===
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==== Bad things to hear at the psychiatrist's ====
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==== If This Is The Answer, What Is The Question?: "Once A Minute" ====
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:'''Frankie Boyle''': Is it "How often when I walk into a playground with this beard does a mother pick up a her child and throw her shoe at me?"
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:'''Russell Howard''': Is it "What woul be the worst misprinted dosage on a pack of laxatives?"
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:'''Hugh Dennis''' Is it "How often do men self-check their own testicles?"
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:'''Andy Parsons''': Is it "How often does Uri Geller keep mentioning the fact that Michael Jackson's friend?"
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:'''Frankie Boyle''': Is it "If you put Wayne Rooney on a perch next to a mirror, how often would he peck his own reflection?"
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:'''Ed Byrne''': Is it "How often does David Cameron point in a mirror and go 'Looking good, PM'?"
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:'''Frankie Boyle''': Is it "On their annual trip to Blackpool, how often does the British Claustrophobia Society have to stop the minibus?"
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:'''Stewart Francis''': Is it "How often to Dara and Andy gaze at my hair?"
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:'''Ed Byrne''': How often does the average iPhone user take it out and fiddle with the poxy thing?
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:'''Frankie Boyle''': I know the correct answer. Is it "How often does Kerry Katona ovulate?"
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*:''[Answer: How often the public demands private phone and e-mail records.]''
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==== Scenes We'd Like To See: Bad Things To Hear At The Psychiatrist's ====
:'''[[w:Frankie Boyle|Frankie Boyle]]''': I don't want you to think of me as a psychiatrist, I want you to think of me as a mental patient who killed the psychiatrist before you got here.
:'''[[w:Frankie Boyle|Frankie Boyle]]''': I don't want you to think of me as a psychiatrist, I want you to think of me as a mental patient who killed the psychiatrist before you got here.
:'''[[w:Hugh Dennis|Hugh Dennis]]''': You think you are a potato? On the couch, please.
:'''[[w:Hugh Dennis|Hugh Dennis]]''': You think you are a potato? On the couch, please.
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:'''[[w:Russell Howard|Russell Howard]]''': I see you've tried to commit suicide five times. Your dad was right. You are useless.
:'''[[w:Russell Howard|Russell Howard]]''': I see you've tried to commit suicide five times. Your dad was right. You are useless.
:'''Frankie Boyle''': You've been coming here for six months to talk about your trust issues... while we've been filming you for "Britain's Nuttiest Bastards"!
:'''Frankie Boyle''': You've been coming here for six months to talk about your trust issues... while we've been filming you for "Britain's Nuttiest Bastards"!
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:'''Hugh Dennis''': Yes, I think your parents caused you problems from an early age, Clitorina.
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:'''Hugh Dennis''': Yes, I think your parents caused you problems from a very early age, Clitorina.
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:'''[[w:Stewart Francis|Stewart Francis]]''': Your thoughts that you are horrifically unattractive are all in your mind... Mr. Johnson?
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:'''[[w:Stewart Francis|Stewart Francis]]''': Your thoughts that you're horrifically unattractive are all in your mind, Mr... Johnson?
:'''Russell Howard''': Okay, word association. I'm gonna say a word, and I want you to say the first thing that pops into your breasts.
:'''Russell Howard''': Okay, word association. I'm gonna say a word, and I want you to say the first thing that pops into your breasts.
:'''Ed Byrne''': That's really interesting. You mind if I use some of this stuff as lyrics for my band?
:'''Ed Byrne''': That's really interesting. You mind if I use some of this stuff as lyrics for my band?
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:'''Ed Byrne''': Oh, that's a classic dream. It means you're a pedophile.
:'''Ed Byrne''': Oh, that's a classic dream. It means you're a pedophile.
:'''Russell Howard''': I want you to go to your happy place. Judging by the size of you, that's probaly Greggs.
:'''Russell Howard''': I want you to go to your happy place. Judging by the size of you, that's probaly Greggs.
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:'''Frankie Boyle''': Hynopsis could certainly help with your intimacy issues. While you were unconscious, I rested my nuts on your head.
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==== Unlikely things to hear on a TV Talent show ====
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==== Unlikely Things To Hear On A TV Talent Show ====
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:'''Frankie Boyle''': 2007's winner Leon Jackson is still selling records... at his Saturday job at HMV Pasley.
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:'''Frankie Boyle''': 2007's winner Leon Jackson is still selling records... at his Saturday job at HMV Paisley.
:'''Stewart Francis''': Of course it's not a freak show! Now get your siamese twin asses on that stage and you nail "Papa Don't Preach"!
:'''Stewart Francis''': Of course it's not a freak show! Now get your siamese twin asses on that stage and you nail "Papa Don't Preach"!
:'''Frankie Boyle''': Two crosses light up and the crowd cheers... as Stavros Flatly are crucified in flames.
:'''Frankie Boyle''': Two crosses light up and the crowd cheers... as Stavros Flatly are crucified in flames.
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:'''Andy Parsons''': Hello, I'm Billy Cock and this is my partner Brian Balls! And togther we are... Billy and Brian!
:'''Andy Parsons''': Hello, I'm Billy Cock and this is my partner Brian Balls! And togther we are... Billy and Brian!
:'''Frankie Boyle''': That was a beautiful song... until you fucking sang it.
:'''Frankie Boyle''': That was a beautiful song... until you fucking sang it.
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=== 20 August 2009 [7.07] ===
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=== 20 August 2009 (Midseries Compliation) [7.07] ===
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