By Seyi Obasi
If you are in a relationship right now, I am assuming you want the relationship to blossom, right?
Unfortunately a lot of young ladies, apparently working very hard to keep and cement their relationships, are unknowingly actually KILLING it.
Truth be told – there are many behaviors to avoid when it comes to relationships. But in this article, I will spell out three behaviours you MUST avoid, for the simple reason that they are HIRED RELATIONSHIP KILLERS!
Making Excuses for Him…
How can this be bad?
I know. On the surface this sounds good. Afterall, if you make excuses for him, you are being understanding, right?
Wrong.
Letting a man off continuously and refusing to confront him for his bad behaviour will make him take you for granted and lose respect for you.
I mean, what fun is there for him? He is always getting away with his bad behaviour!
Men believe that if a woman is too insecure to confront him when he is behaving badly, then she is too desperate and not strong enough to be trusted emotionally as his partner.
Sharing Your Feelings Too Early In the Relationship…
Women are quick to forget that men do not “feel” the way we do. In fact, most of the time, men feel absolutely nothing.
They tend to have intense feelings infrequently and only in short bursts, like when their favourite football team wins or when they are horny and want sex. Other times, they are pretty much bland (sorry guys!)
Therefore, when a woman shares her feelings too early in a relationship, it is often overwhelming to a man. He almost doesn’t know how to respond.
So ladies, in order to create an intense bond with your man, remember this – men bond by overcoming a challenge. In order to get your man to desire to get closer to you, give him a challenge. DON’T allow a new relationship to progress too quickly, or too intensely.
Taking a relationship at a slower pace will cause him to feel a bit frustrated, and will actually make him want to win you at all cost.
ONLY, and I repeat ONLY as he shares and shows more interest in you, should you share your deeper feelings with him. Then he will actually FEEL what you are sharing.
Expecting A Relationship (or Marriage) To Make You Happy…
I have told myself and countless others (who a lot of times look at blankly and go, ‘really?’) that getting married will not fix your “x, y and z” issues (name your own issues here).
Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that finding someone wonderful is not great. It is.
It’s just that they cannot meet your DEEPEST need for fulfilment and happiness, and if you expect them to do that, you will be SORELY disappointed.
Think of this principle like you would think of your favorite food. Some days you crave it – other days you don’t.
No man can make an unhappy woman happy, or make an insecure woman feel complete, and vice versa.
You might argue with this.
Initially, during the first few weeks or months of a relationship, you may feel that they are there to make you happy, but as the weeks and months turn into years, whatever insecurities you have will come to the surface.
The way out is to take responsibility for your own happiness, as opposed to relying on a man to make you happy.
Do this, and you will see how much more motivated a man is to please you.
NOTE: Please don’t make the man feel you do not need him and can survive well on your own without him. No, that is something else and not what I suggest here.
Let him know you need him but you are not going to choke him and depend on him for your every breathe of life.
So that’s it.
Phew! That was not easy to write.
Your Turn
What is your opinion on these three relationship killers? Have you had any experience with these? Do you have any advice for us? Why not share in the comments box below. We would love to hear from you.
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Read more interesting relationship articles by Seyi Obasi on her column on Woman.NG – Before & After
The post Here Are The THREE Things To Do If You Want To KILL Your Relationship appeared first on Ekekeee.