In my dream last night, my mother and I were sleeping in the kitchen. The bed we were using for a dining table was lopsided, and she was talking about how much money she could make by making shirts with decorative foxes and using them as centerpieces. I laid on my stomach and lifted my head up slightly and tested my hunch out: I could feel myself blinking multiple times, and yet my eyelashes didn't come down once. I was dreaming.
I rolled over. My mother was trying to lay down on a sofa, I believe. "I'm dreaming," I told her.
"Cool."
Now, I've been having lucid dreams off and on for six or seven years at this point. I'm very aware of how dream characters generally don't care about how we're dreaming. Buuut I wanted to have a discussion with a dream character about dreaming anyway, 'cause I wanted to see what she'd say. "Yeah, isn't it cool?"
When I got up, she grabbed me by the throat and pushed me back down to the bed. "It's time to go back to sleep."
I tried to reason with her in hopes of just letting me go, but she just said it again: "Go back to sleep." When I was about to push her off me using all the powers invested in me with conscious dreaming, her grip on my throat tightened. "Just go back to sleep."
Could I have gotten her off me? I'm sure. But I had doubts at the time and I reallllly didn't want it to turn into a nightmare if I fumbled because of those doubts, so I just complied. I woke up on that lopsided bed again with my mother crying about her work. I was then suspicious that it was a dream, but I was so unnerved from the previous experience that I didn't put a lot of effort into checking again.
When I ACTUALLY woke up, I had a strong feeling that my subconscious mind doesn't want me to be lucid. I've heard of DCs getting annoyed when dreamers tell them about dreams, but I've never heard of that. I know in my time of lurking I've seen at least one guy say that he had to gain his subconscious's trust before it allowed him to control his dreams, but now I can't find it.
I've had an overly difficult time having LDs. I stuck to practicing faithfully for a full year and of courseee it wasn't until I stopped that I had my first LD. Even after that I've only succeeded in having anywhere from one to three LDs a month on average.
Trust me friends, I know all the different things people say when someone says that they "can't" have a lot of lucids. I know. You don't have to tell me. ;) Besides, I'm not complaining about that here--but I do wonder if it has anything to do with the potential distrust in the same way that that other user's subconscious didn't trust him? And I'm curious, too, if anyone else has experienced something along those lines?
(I'm sorry if this comes out as confusing. I'm on my phone typing this out, and I sometimes don't express myself right like this.)