2017-01-05

I think that the greatest impediment to Making America Great Again is the civil service system.  One of the key features of the greatness of Trump Industries has always been firing people who don’t do their job.  Unfortunately, not doing your job apparently isn’t a basis for being fired from the civil service.

So, Trump will have to take a different approach.  I recommend directing every single agency in the country to start a Department of American Improvement (DAI).  The mission of the DAI in each agency is simply “To improve America by our diligent attendance.”

Each DIA should be located within a SCIF to accommodate tasks requiring classified information.  The guards outside the SCIF will be responsible for making sure that no one brings in any prohibited items — notably electronics (tablets, laptops, cell phones, cameras) and writing materials (books, pads, pens, etc.)  Everyone will pass through security before they are allowed to clock in on the biometric time clock.  Because this is a SCIF, there will be no outside visitors, no phones, no televisions, no internet connection of any kind.

They will then go to their cube in the bullpen, where they will find a single pencil, a task lamp and a chair.  They will wait for the Director of American Improvement to issue them a task.  There will be no independent work.  All DIA employees work independently, and are not to communicate with any other DIA employees.

The schedule is 8:30-12, 12:30-5, every day.  The dress code is business professional (suit and tie.)  For maximum efficiency, there will be no air conditioning and lots of heat in the winter.  To keep up morale, the Director will be responsible to picking 2-5 patriotic marches to be played a moderately high volume at all times.

When you have a civil servant who isn’t working out in his position, but you don’t have grounds to fire him, transfer him to the DIA.  I’m sure the Director will eventually find a way to use his talents.

Update: Congress reads my mind.

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