Do you know who’s got it all?
Adelaide Cabaret Festival has got it all!
Not only the largest cabaret festival operating in Australia, Ad Cab is now the largest cabaret festival in the world! And while yes, it does not cease to blow our minds that it’s in Adelaide, and we cannot quite fathom how that has happened, but hey, it’s best not to ask such infinite philosophical questions if you like to keep your sanity in tact!
The fact is that Adelaide is here to stay, and neither Melbourne nor Sydney is in a position right now to compete. Nor does either city seem even remotely keen to try! In Melbourne this is frankly unforgiveable seeing as they actually have the facilities (and how!) to hold one hell of an amazing cabaret festival! Sydney, on the other hand, is just one feral mess so far as venues go right now with only two theatres even operational to host big musicals in 2014 – not that we ever really considered Theatre Royale much of a theatre (you can hear the trains as they leave Town Hall station! Bitch please!). So Adelaide it is – and the stars of Broadway are down with that, so who are we to complain?
That said, whoever is running Adelaide right now clearly needs to spend some time listening to some cast albums and running through IBDB.com, because they seem to be having trouble quantifying just what manner of star a headliner makes!
This year’s headliner for the Festival is a double bill – Anthony Warlow and Faith Prince. This double act is unquestionably pretty awesome. Faith Prince, though in the autumn of her Broadway career, is still a stunning talent with a sublime collection of shows behind her. Throw in national treasure Anthony Warlow, this is a pretty fierce duo. But a headlining duo? Let’s face facts… It could have been a LOT fiercer!
Given the stars that have previously popped up in Adelaide come festival season… this years stars really, REALLY could have been fiercer!
So, being of a benevolent mind today, we at Diva Knows Best sat down and drew up a list of people who could, would and should headline the Adelaide Cabaret Festival. The qualifications are obvious: celebrated musical performer, established star, established brand name with high level of exposure, insanely awesome vocals – F.I.E.R.C.E! Fierce. The word can never be overused where divas are concerned. And so far as a fierce performance goes, like the US Supreme Court and porn, you know it when you see it. So for all you folks at Ad Cab who don’t care for music theatre that pre-dates Rent (the only conclusion we can come to based on the evidence), here are some helpful suggestions as to some people you want to get in touch with in the years to come.
You’re welcome.
1) Patti LuPone
This one is a no brainer! Two time Tony award winning powerhouse and celebrated dramatic actress, Patti pals around with Sondheim and David Mamet and is the Broadway go-to gal for brassy vocals and fiery fems! A TV actress from way back, she has also reignited younger audience’s interests with Glee appearances, a recurring role on American Horror Story: Coven, and an awesome live show at Studio 54 early last year. She has a fantastic discography of live shows everywhere from LA, to London to Carnegie Hall and is without question one of the most celebrated Broadway performers of all time. Book her. Book her now! She will sell out Festival Hall and blow the ceiling off old school in a way that makes Idinia Menzel’s belting seem rather quaint by comparison. Do not let her pass you by! Get Patti LuPone to Oz and stat!!!!!
2) Audra MacDonald
Do we even have to explain this one! Apparently yes, yes we do. Most likely you Ad Cab folks only know her from the Grey’s Anatomy spin off or that Sound of Music remake starring Carrie Underwood – and while no doubt you guys all loved Carrie, because American Idol (lets just let that sit there for a minute), the real star is and always was Audra MacDonald. With four, that’s FOUR, Tony Awards to her name, Audra is the voice of her generation on Broadway and one of the most talented and versatile actresses the music theatre has ever been blessed with. A masterful live performer, she is a gift from heaven in concert and truly capable of singing any song ever! Go to YouTube and see for yourself – the woman is a genius, and also genuinely lovely. She’s Julie Andrews, but interesting, and still at her vocal peak. Not only will she sell out, Festival Hall most probably won’t be big enough! You may need to find some form of arena! Do you have one in Adelaide?
3) Megan Hilty
One word: Smash. And no, no she is not the brunette from American Idol, she was the blonde and yes, trust us, she was the one with actual talent who people (well, everyone outside Adelaide) actually liked! A star of many musicals now –that’s right! She WAS in Wicked! Have a gold star! – and a celebrated Broadway diva, she has been doing the concert thing in the US for a couple of years now and she is spectacular. Not only radiantly, obscenely beautiful, she’s one hell of a funny dame and she knows how to work an audience. The start his year gone of a B-list sitcom Sean Saves the World (it answers the question of what Will & Grace would have been like if it were about Jack), Megan is about to become Kristin Chenoweth, but beltier and bustier. The clock is ticking till she wins her first Emmy and rumour has it she is due to headline a new musical in the coming year. Put her on your headline Ad Cab and watch the tickets sell! This is an internationally beloved Broadway diva and sex symbol. Book her today.
4) Sierra Boggess
Now surely you’ve heard of Sierra Boggess! And while yes, yes she was in Love Never Dies, and that is never a good thing, I will also direct you to the 25th anniversary concert DVD of Phantom of the Opera. And while no doubt you all saw the last revival of Phantom with Anthony Warlow and thought his chemistry with the actress playing Christine was lovely (…), but just trust us again, you need to see Sierra in this concert! In fact while you’re at it, give her new cabaret at 54 Below a listen to! If you like Idina Menzel live on stage, imagine an actress with her banter (“banter”) skills but an even better voice! WHAT?!? You gasp! There’s an actress out there with a better voice than IDINA MENZEL?!?!? Yes. Yes there are: and Sierra Boggess (“banter” aside) is one of them! The star now of many internationally high profile musicals, a radiantly beautiful lady and a triumphant vocalist, she will raise the roof in Adelaide and around Oz in the tour that follows. She has a fiercely loyal cult of fans and to go back to where we started, she truly is F.I.E.R.C.E fierce. Book her. Do it!
5) Sutton Foster
Ok so nobody watches TV’s Bunheads – which is a shame, because Tony Award winning actress and music theatre powerhouse Sutton Foster is awesome in it. This gal is hilarious! Ageless – an old school belter and hoofer, she looks about 28 and owns absolutely every single role she is in – and she was in Little Women! Go check out her Tony Awards performance in The Drowsy Chaperone (if you haven’t heard, Squabbalogic are doing that in Sydney this year – Google them, they’re a thing we promise!). If that alone doesn’t convince you that you need her to headline your festival, then check out her amazing cabaret at Café Carlyle. She raises the roof and then some! We just have to pause and smack our heads against a wall for a second – you see this is an obvious decision to us and it’s almost insulting that you guys at Ad Cab don’t know that. But that’s cool – we are of the school of thought that nobody learns if they aren’t first schooled. Thusly listen to teacher and hire Sutton Foster to headline the festival! Just do it. People will go. Attendance at famous diva concert make mucho casho for festival make happy the boss man! Got it? Sutton Foster = Book Her!
Now that is going to have to do for the moment. Don’t get us wrong, there are plenty of other performers who are definitely fierce enough to make an appearance at the Adelaide Cabaret Festival. And we could waste so much pixel ink writing about them and their virtues.
But shall I tell tales of the great and glorious vocal and comedic talents of Laura Benanti? Shall I make mention of the delightfulness that is Neil Patrick Harris and his bag of tricks? Should I summon up the awesome hot box of crazy that is Betty Buckley and her legendary vocals? Maria Friedman and Julia Mckenzie perhaps? Such revolutionary thinking as cabarets by Glenn Close or Toni Collette?
Nope.
Let’s keep it simple.
Adelaide Cabaret Festival is the primary showcase of what Australia defines to be the state of the art in cabaret and music theatre. And the world tunes in to watch!
This article has been deliberately bitchy, because in 2014, for the first time in a long time, the Adelaide Cabaret Festival headliner, while a great actress and a magnificent performer, is a bit of a let down. Tickets will sell. Audiences will be thrilled and it truly is great that such a performer as Faith Prince wishes to come to Australia… but it’s a safe bet. A sure thing. A tried and tested ticket sale. Little to nothing new. And thusly… slightly disappointing.
This article is deliberately bitchy because we love Adelaide Cabaret Festival. We love how it has operated in years gone by. We have watched with delight the incredibly talented artists from all over Australia and all over the world who have flocked to Aussie shores to perform, to trial new shows and expand their horizons as performers. This is an important festival with a mandate to keep changing the game and raising the bar.
So 2014, it’s going to be awesome. Truly! Fierce even. But it could have been fiercer. And from all appearances, that’s just from lack of effort to court someone worthwhile, and worse, a lack of knowledge of who these performers are! If Ad Cab is to retain the excitement it has previously generated… This needs to change by next year! The stakes truly are that high – it’s a question of survival.
Faith Prince and Anthony Warlow? Fabulous! But headliners, and at $275 a ticket (!!!!!) … ? Diva says No!
Diva Knows Best
Xoxox