Last night, we said goodbye for the last time, to my dear Grandma (my mom's mom).
The photo above, is my grandparents, circa 1945....the year they got married. :) Seriously, isn't it the best photo?!
Grandma has been living in a nursing home for quite awhile now, and her health has really been failing in recent months. We got the call yesterday morning, that she had aspiration pneumonia and they had moved her by ambulance, during the night, to the hospital. The doctor at the hospital, said he didn't think she'd make it through the day. He was right.
{my grandparents}
Quite a few family members and close friends were able to spend the day with her at the hospital. The staff was wonderful, in helping us with what they knew was coming. Their goal for her, was to keep her as comfortable as possible, but she was clearly nearing the end.
Thankfully, Bart and I had all of my parent's family photo albums here at our house, so we took several of them with us to the hospital so that everyone who came yesterday was able to look through them and reminisce about 'the good ole days'. It was not an easy day by any stretch, but her hospital room was filled with much love and laughter as everyone took turns sharing their favorite stories about her. I saw relatives I haven't seen in 30 years, cousins I haven't seen in at least 10, but we were all there with one person in mind....my sweet Grandma.
She labored to breathe all day. We were there about 10 hours and she passed away 2 hours after we left. My mom (Grandma's baby girl), was with her.
Honestly, I am so happy for her! She isn't suffering anymore, in a body that was failing her. She is dancing around God's very throne today, singing and rejoicing with the angels and being reunited with all the loved ones who've gone on before us. She was so ready to go "home". She was ready to meet Jesus face to face. She lived a good, long life and she poured out herself on so many others -- including me -- again and again.
I'm happy for her and sad for me....for us. Today is so bittersweet. She was THE BEST Grandma and I miss her already, more than words can say. I cried the ugly cry on the bathroom floor late last night, while my husband rubbed my back and listened to me talk and sob and blow my nose and talk and sob some more. And in those moments, I was so thankful for the verse in the Bible that says "His mercies are new every morning" and the one that says that "weeping may last for a night, but joy comes in the morning". Granted, I'm not quite feeling "joyful" just yet, but I'm feeling so much more at peace about everything today, knowing that she's now happier than she's ever been. Grandma put her faith and trust in Jesus very early on and lived that out every single day that I knew her. She wasn't afraid of death because she knew she was going to spend eternity in Heaven. I know she's so happy now and I couldn't be happier for her.
She was generous (to a fault, some might say) but I loved that about her. Always. She gave of herself and of her resources. When we were little bitty kids and someone had a birthday, she and Grandpa would bring the birthday kid a gift of course, but she would also bring along some sort of little gifts for each of the non-birthday kids, too. It might have just been some little trinket but it always made me feel so special, to get a gift just because, when it wasn't even my birthday. Granted, gifts are my love language, so perhaps that's why it meant so much to me. I love that she knew just how to speak my love language.
She was fun! After my Grandpa passed away, there were a few years where every Good Friday since she had the day off work and we were all out of school for the day, she'd load up the car with 5 little grandkids (this was before anyone cared about seatbelts!) and a stack of cassette tapes for the tape deck, that us kids loved (they were instrumental Hosanna Integrity worship songs -- not something little kids would normally love, but we did - ha!). She would also have two grocery bags full of snacks and junk food from Aldi's and off we would go on an adventure for the day! She'd take us to the top of City Hall to look out over the city from the observation deck. She'd take us to the courthouse -- one year, she even took us inside to sit in on a court case (on the back row!). After court was adjourned, I remember the judge called her forward and asked her if she was a teacher who had brought her class to court that day. Haha. And I remember her smile as she told him that no, these were all her grandchildren.
She was always the life of the party, always funny, always laughing and making others laugh. I loved that about her.
On Sundays when I was little, we all went to the same church.....us, my cousins and their parents (my mom's brother and family) and my grandparents. After church, we'd all go to Grandma and Grandpa's house for lunch and then we'd all lay around the living room until everyone fell asleep. We watched Tarzan, Ma & Pa Kettle and The Three Stooges -- all in black and white, I might add -- and loved every minute of it. I remember laying on the floor in front of their big brown console tv, with siblings and cousins all around....good times. She'd make us mini sandwiches out of those tiny little loaves of hors d'oeuvres bread from the deli. And she bought those miniature cans of apple juice for us, where you'd peel back the little sticker top to drink out of the can. She was the coolest. ;) And then, eventually, we'd all get up and go to the Sunday evening church service before heading home.
{Grandma on the left, and her sister (5 years older) on the right -- the two wildest, craziest, most fun sisters ever! Haha! Her sister is still alive and still a spitfire and I love that about her!}
Grandma always wore a stack of bracelets on her arm. Always. (Does this sound familiar?!) I am now on the hunt for a perfect silver bangle, just like the ones I always remember her wearing when I was little, to add to my own "stack".
Grandma always had beautiful hands with perfectly shaped and polished nails (although not bright colors like mine). Pearly white. Always pearly white. So classy and elegant. I can remember holding her hand in the car or in church and stroking her pretty nails with my own tiny fingers. In recent months, as her health got worse and she couldn't do anything for herself, we painted her nails for her in the nursing home. Pearly white.
Grandma wore bright lipstick and bright colors and was always so cheery. She always did her best to brighten everyone else's day.
Grandma had so many amazing qualities about her and she was truly loved by everyone who knew her. But the best thing about my Grandma is that she set an amazing example of what it means to be a Godly woman. She lived her faith out loud. If you were going through something, she wouldn't just say, "I'll pray for you". She'd say, "Let's pray right now." And then we'd pray. I can't tell you how much that always meant to me and it's something I've tried to remember to do myself. Her faith was not just lip service....she meant it and you could tell it by how she lived. Her Bible was highlighted and marked up with her notes and thoughts because she read it and used it as her guide to live by.
And when someone passed away, including my Grandpa and then years later, her second husband, she reminded us that while we were sad for our loss, it was also a time to celebrate the life of that loved one. Those two funerals were sad, of course, but also full of laughter and sweet memories. She didn't wear black. She wore something bright and cheerful and she celebrated. She told the happy stories that she loved about that person and she laughed at others' stories too. She was so strong. I loved that about her.
We went to church this morning to worship our Lord, knowing that she is literally worshipping in His very presence right now. And I wore bright red patent leather shoes and bright red lipstick in her honor. It's what she would have done. ;) I alternated between fighting tears, mopping up my face and singing with all my heart (just like she would have) while every song we sang this morning seemed to paint a picture of Heaven and what it must be like to worship around the very throne of God, and I kept picturing her in Heaven, with the biggest smile on her face, singing at the top of her lungs. We also started a new sermon series called "Heaven Is For Real" this morning....imagine that. Think God knew what He was doing with that one? *wink*
I'm so grateful for the nearly 39 years that I was privileged to call her Grandma. I will miss her wisdom, her counsel, her laughter, her hands. I will miss her friendship, her smile, and her generous spirit. I will miss her singing and I will miss the way she used to say in my ear as she hugged me goodbye each time, "I love you, sweet girl." I'm so thankful for the example she set for us, for the legacy that she left behind. I will do my best to follow her example.
Thank you for letting me share, dear friends.
much, much love....