What will this month bring you, my dear zodiac lovers? Will it be end of summer sparkle or pre-winter blues.
Find out below…enjoy!
Summertime and the living is definitely not easy. Hey, if you think the summer was bad for you Aries dudes then start preparing for the harsh winter – and harsh reality ahead buddy. The sun has all-but-gone, the fun has dried up and it’s about time you started to get your act together this month and do what squirrels do best: get storing!
Don’t sweat the small stuff this month because nothing that can go right will go right for you. Be careful when crossing roads and crossing borders. Take note of what is around the corner because if you don’t expect the unexpected, the unexpected will be expecting you.
Normally you Geminis can be a bit of a wizard and can be renowned for pulling great strokes. Well, you will need to be on top of your game and have powers that can literally pull a hat out of a rabbit’s arse and eyesight so good that you can be able to see into the middle of next week.
A testing time ahead for you Cancer babies. Keep the faith and keep believing. Nothing will come of it but just keep dreaming; it will give you the illusion that everything will work out just fine when in fact you and I know you are all fucked this month.
Don’t put off today what you can do next month. Do absolutely fuck all this month and if anyone asks you to do something for them just tell them you are busy…doing fuck all! Well, isn’t that what you Leos normally do anyway each month? Lazy sods.
Watch out! Virgos are going through a vulnerable time of late and things, sadly, just don’t seem to be getting any better. If you have any aspirations to travel – stay at home. If you have any desire to keep to a strict diet – just stay fat! and if you have any motivation whatsoever you will heed this message and give up!
Nothing seems like it will get any better this month and the recent months have been a bit hard on you but here’s the good news…it won’t get any better! Well, what the fuck did you expect from a Dafty horrorscope?
For those who keep wishing on stars here’s something to think about: things in life that are shiny won’t come to you – you need to get out there and grasp all that heavenly glory by yourselves. Stop waiting on someone else to come and bail you out of your miserable life and get a fucking grip!
Sagittarius’ should be changed to SADittarius this month because boy, are you in for a sucker of a time in September. Do you have debt? Then expect more debt. Are you in a bad relationship? Then expect your relationship to get worse and even if you do move from one relationship to another you will find the first one was better. They say the better the devil you know, eh?
Surfing the net for that all-elusive lover online won’t hide the fact that your offline love life sucks more than a thirsty leach in the Amazonian jungle. Clicking a few buttons on your keyboard won’t help you with your present love life right now. It is time to get real and realize that it is not your partner or you future partner’s behaviour that is out of line but yours. Wise up or stay single.
Exhausted by all the hooha last month? Well get ready for more torment and deceit my friends of the Aquarius sign. You are on to plumbs this month if you think the stars are going to be kind to you. They won’t so stop griping, moaning and slouching about your house hoping that things will turn around for you because they simply won’t. Not this month or the months ahead.
Surrender everything this month and just pack yourself away for the winter months ahead. Pisces will seem like the tide is against you and quite rightly so. What have you done lately or in the past, for that matter, that has helped you or mankind? Nothing, so stop whinging when things go against you and lighten up a bit.
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