A Florida man named Dick Oranges (yep, that’s his real name) is facing multiple assault charges after opening a can of whoop-ass on a loss prevention officer outside a local department store.
Per New York Daily News, the incident happened June 4 when 49-year-old Oranges allegedly tried to pocket some items from Bealls Department Store.
Upon his exit from a dressing room, Oranges was approached by the store’s manager and a loss prevention officer, and that’s when he flipped out.
The store employees attempted to escort Oranges out of the building, but he started pushing them away and chomping on the officer’s arm. Then, Oranges pulled out a knife and swung it around while simultaneously punching at the officer.
Both men backed away and Oranges was able to escape in a gold convertible (!).
However, two weeks later, Oranges was stopped by Florida Highway Patrol troopers for speeding. The lead-footed driver begged to be given another chance, but before the troopers could answer, they caught a whiff of weed in the car.
Inside, they found a pouch stupidly labeled “Dime Bag,” which contained a grinder and rolling papers.
Oranges was arrested and charged with possession of drug paraphernalia and driving with an expired license.
Once behind bars, he admitted to the Bealls Department Store brawl, though he claimed he was trying to return—not steal—the merch in question.
Oranges is now being held on $19,500 bond and faces additional charges for the June 4 incident, including battery, retail theft, and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill.
Read more: New York Daily News
Read more: Naples News
Photo: Collier County Sheriff’s Office
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