Thursday, 3
Infinite Improv, Cloud & Kelly’s Public House, 126 SW 1st St. 9 p.m. Free
This show promises to be much better than the self-help seminar I went to called “Infinite Improve.” Well, maybe not better, but certainly more entertaining. I can’t pretend that seminar didn’t make me into the multitasking dynamo with a great haircut that I am today. Nor can I pretend it wasn’t worth the three easy payments of $69.95 that it cost to register. What I can tell you is that I totally improvised that entire joke and that’s just the kind of lazy humor you won’t find at this live show. Infinite Improv: Don’t worry, I don’t perform with them, so this stands a pretty good chance of being funny.
Rusty Hinges Band, Calapooia Brewing, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 7:30 p.m. Free
Rusty Hinges return to their favorite stage, rocking at the ‘Pooia. OK, in fairness I haven’t asked them what their favorite stage is, and for all I know it’s actually Wembley… Sorry, the Wembley YMCA in Wembley, Idaho. Sorry, I should have finished that sentence right away. But seriously, these guys are excellent. And they play at the ‘Pooia a lot, and for free, and for that, if nothing else, we owe them our thanks. Thank them by showing up to the show and buying booze.
Friday, 4
Nick Rivard and Dave Storrs, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. Free
You know guitarist Nick Rivard from Space Neighbors and LMNO, unless you know him from that unfortunate food fight that escalated into a 25-year family feud that erupted in a Denny’s in 1990. In which case you only know him as the cold hand of deadly Moons Over My Hammy tossing. At any rate, he’s got a new project with Dave Storrs, a crazy accomplished drummer and founder of Louie Records, and they’re going to give us a sneak peek at the new release. I’ve always hated that term, “sneak peek.” Like I’m some cat burglar tiptoeing around a quiet manor looking for local music that I can steal a short glimpse of. This show is no secret. And it’s more than just a peek. You can really get an eyeful of these two, no sneaking around necessary.
John Shipe, Calapooia Brewing Company, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 8 p.m. Free
Who’s the handsomest crooner in the Willamette Valley? If you answered me—meaning, of course, me—you’re right. Congratulations. If you answered me—meaning you—well, sorry, you’re dead wrong, buster. But if you answered John Shipe, I have good news for you… he’s got a show coming up. For free. At the ‘Pooia. This must be like Christmas in September for all you Shipe lovers. Brainstorm. I just had a great idea for a Corvallis supergroup opportunity. John joins forces with Corvy’s favorite Dead cover band, to create Shipe of Fools. Anybody? No? Very well, then…
http://www.johnshipe.com/
Saturday, 5
PhiloPhobia, Cloud & Kelly’s Public House, 126 SW 1st St. 10 p.m. Free
If I understand this show correctly, this band is super scared of Philomath. And right they are to be terrified. Philomath is basically a gangster shanty full of loggers, Lions, Kiwanis, retirees, and farmers. That’s a frothy combustible mix of kicka*situde, and if that scares the gents from PhiloPhobia, I can’t say I blame them. You gotta come correct when you come to my corner of Benton County. What’s that? It means a fear of falling in love? Well then you’re in trouble, people, because you’re going to love this plucky and eclectic one-man rock act that just blew minds in Klamath Falls last weekend. Bringing it back around; “That’s the power of writing,” he imagined Malamud muttering to himself.
Kevin Lee, Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7:30 p.m. Free
“Who is Kevin Lee?” is I’m sure a catch phrase they imagined putting on his album cover. But seriously, WHO IS THIS GUY? And how is he the only thing to do on this particular Saturday night? Answer? You’ll have to fill up the ‘Gine to find out. My guess is Mr. Lee plays singer/songwriter or jazz music, and there’s at least a 28% chance that when he does it, it’s about Jesus. Outside of those details, you’ll just have to show up and roll the dice.
Sunday, 6
Picasso, Mink Ties, and The King of the Cats, Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 7:30 p.m. $10 ($8 for members, seniors, students)
The Majestic is my favorite place to see a live show. Other than Darnell’s House of Pig Wrestling and Foxy Boxing. But Darnell can be a little too familiar when I walk in sometimes, know what I’m saying? You get just the right does of familiarity at the Majestic, though. This collection of short plays by other favorite son of Ohio (other than me, obviously) Don Nigro, promises to be thought-provoking, dramatic, and attention-grabbing. That’s how we Ohioans do it. Hey here’s a crazy idea, what if all us performers from the “heart of it all” should start our own troop. We could call it the Ohio Players. What? No good?
Blues Jam!, Calapooia Brewing Company, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 4 to 6 p.m. Free
If you’ve got the blues, these guys will jam it right up your—oh wait, now that I’m reading the details, this is actually just an informal blues playing gathering at the ‘Pooia. Not quite as exciting as where I was originally going with this, but not the worst way to spend a Sunday afternoon either. No, that honor goes to sitting at home and watching not-football on TV. Sunday afternoon football on TV is so popular; have you ever actually looked at what else is on during football? Even PBS just runs infomercials for the Slap-Chop.
Monday, 7
Bryson Skaar, Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7 p.m. Free
Bry-dog returns to the ‘Gine for the hottest weekly jazz gig in the tri-county area. Obviously Bry-dog is not his given name, but a creative new nickname I’m taking for a test drive. Interesting tidbit about this piano prodigy, his real name isn’t Bryson, it’s just Bry. But he watched The Karate Kid so much as a child, he insisted on being called Bry-san. Eventually the name just stuck and in 1999 a local judge made it official, and Bryson Skaar was unleashed on the valley. For this and other fascinating bald-faced lies, go on a date with me circa 2001-2006.
Dicemasters, Matt’s Cavalcade of Comics, NW Buchanan Ave. 7:30 – 9:30 p.m. Free
Speaking of time travel, travel to a place and time you never conceived of or possibly imagined. That’s right, it’s Dicemasters, your favorite weekly roleplaying outlet. Sorry, your other weekly roleplaying outlet. Obviously nobody’s casting aspersions on you and your significant other’s game of doctor that goes on every Sunday night as soon as the kids fall asleep, I’m just saying I personally prefer this roleplaying get-together. It usually ends with fewer welts, and more climaxes.
Tuesday, 8
Community Movie Night with Ygal Kaufman, Darkside Cinema, 215 SW 4th St. 7 p.m. Free
Well, the free Tuesday concerts in Central Park are over for the summer. That’s bad news for you because you can’t beat a free concert. But it’s terrific news for you as well, because you damn sure can’t beat a free movie, especially the classic fare I be slingin’ at this weekly film-lovers soiree. Join me and the Darkside cutups for a different free classic movie each week including newsreels and cartoons. This week it’s the legendary noir classic Detour (1945). If you like the genre, you’ll love this masterpiece, which is a nice change of pace from the Shirley Temple rib-tickler from last week. Let’s get dark, Corvallis.
https://cmnyk.wordpress.com
https://www.facebook.com/freemovienightcorvallis
Timba Tuesday, Impulse Bar & Grille, 1425 NW Monroe Ave. 8 p.m. Free
Historically I only timba on Wednesdays and every other Saturday. But I got a fortune cookie the other night that instructed me to break out of my routine. So I’d definitely consider a hot free salsa dancing jamboree on a Tuesday. If I weren’t already at Movie Night. But if being cooped up in a chair for two hours developing a thrombo doesn’t sound as good to you as shaking your “moneymaker,” this might just be the free dance party for you…
Wednesday, 9
Gary Rowles & Chuck Holst, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. Free
Gary and Chuck are back at their favorite haunt, playing easy listening rock songs about love and loss. You know, that was pretty presumptuous of me; I don’t want to call this their favorite place, because I can’t speak for them. It’s certainly my favorite place to see them play, though they haven’t played my bedroom on a Sunday morning around brunch time while I groggily wake up and shout, “Holy sh*t! What are you goons doing in my bedroom? How did you get in here? Where’s my gun?” Because if they did, it would certainly be my favorite memory, and an awesome show. Also in this scenario, I apparently own a gun, which sounds sweet. Where was I? Oh yeah, Gary Rowles and Chuck Holst; these guys sure know how to strum on a heartstring. Not unlike my writing…
Matt Neely Jazz Showcase, Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7 p.m. Free
This is my second week pumping Matt Neely’s jazz, and in case you hadn’t heard, the secret’s out. My well-placed sources tell me that last week, after I wrote about Neely jazzing everywhere, people were lining up outside the ‘Gine entrance clamoring for entry. More distressingly, I did hear that many of these patrons entered the ‘Gine without protection. I can’t endorse that decision. Things can get awful tough and unexpected at this coffee house, so I would recommend coming strapped, with at least a pen knife. But if you’re looking for a jazz sample that you can really take to the bank, you can’t beat this free show.
Thursday, 10
Jive Mind, Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9:30 p.m. $3
I can’t endorse this band name, I’ll just come out and say it. I mean, it’s clever, and nobody’s a bigger fan of wordplay than me, but come on. This one is a little on the nose for my taste. Their music, on the other hand, is right up my jazzy funkin’ alley. Jive Mind plays a sweetly jazz-infused brand of funk, with originals and covers and jive to spare. Oh wait, now I get the band name. Derp. Jive Mind. Still hate it. But I’m definitely going to this show. $3 is a steal for these guys who are pretty damn funky and good with their instruments.
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Jive-Mind/412634642155668
Michelle Hazelton, Peacock Bar & Grille, 125 SW 2nd St. 7 p.m. Free
Michelle is back with her twice monthly singer-songwriting gig at the ‘Cock. On a Thursday night I fancy swinging by the ‘Cock for some tunes and a brew, a cold one, and then heading over to the ‘Gine for a board game and another brew, a hot one this time. I spin a real Norman Rockwell view of Corvallis, don’t I? Although Norman never drew me hustling for meth outside the ‘Cock while Michelle puts it down with her inimitable bouncer-infused singer-songwritering. Norman never drew me naked either, but I probably would have wasted the opportunity doing Titanic jokes… Anywaaaaay… Michelle Hazelton, busting the jams for free. Hallelujah.