Tony Hawk injuring himself on a half-pipe
Watch The Hobbit An Unexpected Journey Online. Let’s go back in time to 2003. You’re watching Bringing Down The House and it’s the scene where Martin is dressed in baggy tracksuits with his cap on to the side, his arms crossed and he says “YO YO� for about half an hour. Were you laughing then?Would you laugh now? If you answered with “Bringing Down The House? What’s that?� Then stop reading this review for you would never go anywhere near Parental Guidance as you didn’t waste your time in 2003, so why start now? If you answered otherwise, my review is after the jump. Hard-working parents Alice (Marisa Tomei) and her husband, Phil (Tom Everett-Scott) decide it’s finally time to take that holiday they deserve.
Watch Django Unchained Online. The only catch? They have three young children who are simply out of control. With no choice left, Alice decides to call her parents to look after the kids for the next few days. Dad, Artie (Billy Crystal) has just been fired from his job as a baseball commentator [ as he is too old and behind in the times]is reluctant to help, but her mother Diane (Bette Midler) is more than up for it. Over the next few days with new and delicate forms of parenting clash, with Artie and Diane’s old school forms of child raising quite foreign to their grandchildren. Hilarity ensues when toilet training, common decency and all forms of contentious behaviour go out the window.
Watch The Hobbit Online. Can Artie and Diane come around to this new form of parenting? Or are the old ways just simply the best? Now let’s get this out of the way; No I’m not a parent, but yes I’m willing to suspend disbelief when watching family films. I have a soft spot for a moral, yet toilet humour filled ride that ventures into family dysfunction but also recognizes the importance of family. So please don’t think I’m being unfair in saying, when under the “supervision� of his grandfather, a young boy thinks it’s a good idea to piss on the edge of a large skating ramp and causes Tony Hawk [yes, that famous skater] to slip and break a few bones whilst skating is meant to be a comedic highlight, that I wasn’t laughing. Really?
Watch Life of Pi Online. That’s funny? The horror isn’t that of Tony Hawk breaking a few bones, or why he agreed to be in the shot, but why a Hollywood executive read this in a script and said “Yes, perfect! Brilliant! Here’s $20 million, now add more poop jokes and keep receipts�. It’s been years since Billy Crystal has done anything noteworthy as an actor, but if the public’s reaction to his hosting gig at this year's Oscars was anything to go by, his appeal has not wavered in his absence. Crystal’s new big screen Christmas extravaganza ‘Parental Guidance’ shows that he may look a little older, a little wiser and a little... well, this is Hollywood after all, a little more chemically enhanced - but that sly wit and Billy Crystal charm hasn’t budged an inch.
Watch The Hobbit An Unexpected Journey Online. Crystal plays Artie Decker, a minor league baseball announcer recently let go after the team decides to move with the times. When his daughter Alice (Marisa Tomei) ask’s Artie and Diane (Bette Midler) to watch the three grandkids for the week, Diane jumps at the chance to get out from under their “other grandparents� moniker. This comedy of errors bursts forth when old school parenting meets 21st century type-A coddling and the kids (young and old) get stuck in the middle. ‘Parental Guidance’ may be formulaic and predictable, but it’s also a lot of fun and has plenty of heart. The Crystal/Midler combination is so seamless and effervescent it’s incredible that no one thought of it years ago - for that, we’ll overlook the fact that they're supposed to have birthed Marisa Tomei (I mean, come on people!). The kids, while ridiculously mismatched as brothers and sister, are terrific with 13-year-old Bailee Madison once again proving her weight in gold as not only a young actor but a bright comedienne. The comedy and sentimentality work together beautifully as both Crystal and Midler play to their strengths and tag team each other for the laughs and tears. It’s also nice to see some light and humour shed on this most relevant and often volatile subject matter as boundaries, development issues and a child’s pressure to succeed are all tackled with sincerity and sensitivity, as well as a giggle here and there.
In a similar fashion, Alice is suddenly forced to rely upon her parents in a way that she is not initially comfortable with. Given that Parental Guidance is a family comedy that falls firmly into the camp of That Kind Of Movie, there is nothing surprising in the way that Alice slowly grows to appreciate her parents and their parenting style more. Parental Guidance is one of those movies that is not about to challenge those expectations and it doesn’t. As it turns out, Parental Guidance is actually only the second film I have seen Bette Midler on screen in. Go figure. As Diane in Parental Guidance, Bette Midler is remarkably average. She plays an archetype (the cool, doting grandmother) and she is decent in the role, but she is not particularly funny or original in the part. This is not her watershed performance (I can only assume, because otherwise, I cannot see how her film career would have endured so long). The child actors in Parental Guidance are predictably mediocre, save Bailee Madison. In Parental Guidance, Madison is no longer simply playing off the “cute factor� of a round-cheeked girl her age; she actually performs with moments of maturity and manic deliveries that is different from anything else I have seen her in before. Madison is finally getting a chance to show some range and she seems up to the challenge. But the heart and soul of Parental Guidance is Billy Crystal (Artie) and Marisa Tomei (Alice) and neither one really shines. Crystal’s comic timing is wasted on mediocre jokes and Tomei is anything but credible as the mother of three. Neither one makes the viewer care about their characters and given that their moves toward emotional reconciliation are the crux of the emotional journey of Parental Guidance, the serious moments fail to resonate. What one is left with is a silly slapstick comedy that does nothing viewers have not seen a hundred times before.