A/N: Green. Green. Green.
Beta: @cos-geek-monkey
Word count: 8,447
Read on AO3 Previous chapters
9
Anya’s laughter echoed in the rather silent penthouse. Anya bent over shaking her head. The woman had to take a drink of her bottle of water to calm down a little, but then she looked at Lexa’s steely face.
Anya stopped the laughter right away. “You’re kidding, right?”
Lexa kept seated on the armrest of the couch with slumped shoulders and a confused expression that clenched Anya’s heart.
“Gosh, are you really sure it’s her?”
Lexa assented with her head looking at the screen of her cellphone. “It’s Clarke.”
“Hell, this is sad. The princess ended up being her.” Anya went to the chair and wrapped her arm around Lexa’s shoulders. “This changes everything. What are you going to do?”
Lexa took a deep breath, trying to find logic or any sense in this messed up situation. “I don’t know. I had no idea it was Clarke. But she started to share more about herself and her pain. It was too damn similar to our past and everything clicked. She clearly has no idea it’s me, but I can’t tell her that all this time she has been bashing me to me.”
Anya chuckled but bit her lip. “That has to be weird.”
“She hates me Anya. She won’t ever forgive me and will believe that I fooled her on purpose. Just when I didn’t think her opinion of me couldn’t get any worse.” Lexa was hopelessly lost on any alternatives to get out of this mess without hurting Clarke. She bowed her head looking intently at the notification messages. She stopped replying to Clarke, and of course the blonde had worried she sent something offensive to the author and was texting trying to find out what was going on.
“Well, maybe you can use Alexandria to really help Clarke forgive you? Don’t you think?” Anya suggested, her hazel eyes set on the green of her friend.
Lexa shook her head. “It’s complicated Anya. She thinks we’re different people, I could never do that to her. Use Alexandria to take advantage of Clarke.”
“You’re going to keep lying then?”
“I guess it’s the only way I can be there to help her forget about me. Keeping her away from me but being there from a distance until I can come clean.” Lexa didn’t want to lie. This was going to make things worse, but as long as Nia was around Clarke, it was going to be difficult to approach her without endangering her.
Anya kissed Lexa’s temple. “Go to bed, try to get some sleep.”
Lexa nodded and watched her friend go to her bedroom. The brunette unlocked her phone and finally wrote a response after several minutes without replying.
AlexandriaBTS: That is a weird name.
She padded back to her bedroom. Peeking through the curtains she stared into the dark night, grey clouds filled the darkness, and the trees in the background could be barely seen since it was getting a bit foggy. Lexa pushed the duvet out of her way and laid in bed, leaving her phone within reach and stared into space. Getting lost in her mind, trying to come up with a solution to this disaster.
Using Alexandria was her method to be free of the responsibilities she had as Lexa, it gave her the freedom to speak her mind without fear or worry about the repercussions.
Her phone vibrated, and she grabbed it and read the message on her screen.
Princess69: Alexandria is sexy tho. Can I be forward w you?
Lexa creased her brows, but replied positively with a simple yes and waited the next text.
Princess69: I think I like you. Like really really like you.
Lexa read the text post several times making sure this was not her imagination. She started typing again, but at the last minute she erased it. She typed again, but nothing she wrote communicated exactly what she wanted to say. The phone bleeped again. Damn, Princess69 beat her to it.
Princess69: sorry if I made you feel awkward, don’t be. We’re friends, but I just wanted to be honest w u.
Princess69: don’t be mad, talk to me pls.
Lexa brought herself out of her stupor, hitting her cheeks slightly and typing a response.
AlexandriaBTS: I could never be mad at you.
“Because I love you, you’re the most important person to me.” Lexa clearly wasn’t going to tell her this.
AlexandriaBTS: We’re friends. Sorry I can’t give you my heart for it is taken.
Princess69: I know. I wish someone loved me like that. I guess getting a crappy bf/gf is what I deserve.
AlexandriaBTS: I assure you someone still loves you Clarke. Very very much.
Princess69: who? My ex?
AlexandriaBTS: Yes.
“Shit, this is not what you’re supposed to be doing.” Lexa ran her fingers through her hair knowing she slipped. She let her desire to win Clarke back interfere with her responses.
AlexandriaBTS: I mean no. Just don’t shut your heart yet.
Before she fucked up more Lexa shut her phone inside her drawer and tried to sleep. She had a lot of work to do tomorrow.
The sun sank into the horizon. The orange hues mixed with purples and blues were visible above the city line.
Lexa had been discussing her book that was scheduled to be published next month with Ontari.
“I liked the ending. I was expecting you to go with your broody angst, but you surprised me. It’s not happily ever after, but it leaves a sense of hopefulness for the protagonist. It makes the reader believe that indeed those two belong to each other, and that life will bring them back together one way or another.” The young editor commented as she took a sip from her bottle of water.
Lexa raised her own water bottle celebrating those supportive words. “Glad to hear that. I heard your advice, and I followed it. I hope the readers enjoy the story. Writing it has given me peace and comfort.”
“The book will be ready to launch on time. The pre-orders are insane Lexa, and I assure you this book will be on the fiction best-seller list. You’re on the road to stardom.”
“I just hope the story provides some answers and hope to the readers of my column.” Lexa finished her water and stood up to look out of her window.
Ontari nodded and rose from her chair. “I’ll send you the invitations to the book launch party as soon as I have them. What I want to know is if you want to reveal your real identity? Are you going to sign using your pseudonym or your name?”
“Alexandria is the name used in the column, and people relate to her so it makes sense to keep using the pseudonym.”
“Alexandria Woods then. That’s how we’re going to launch it. Be ready Lexa. Your days of anonymity are about to end.” Ontari kissed Lexa’s cheek and let herself out of her office.
“Alexandria.” Lexa growled and fisted her hands. She barely slept last night. The fact that her Clarke was developing feelings for Alexandria had shifted things greatly. She was sure she could fight any potential suitor if and only if she had any kind of hope with Clarke, but how could she fight against herself? Alexandria was better, kind and trusted by many, and now had the attention of Clarke. Lexa, on the other hand was hated and less trusted.
“I hate you.” Lexa violently pushed everything off her desk, scattering the items on the floor. She grabbed some old editions of the magazine and threw them off her bookshelves - destroying her office until Ryder came in to check out the noise.
“Boss?”
“Leave, Ryder.” Lexa was gasping for breath, her office was a disaster, and her pain was still raw, bleeding her to death. She heard the click of the door being closed again, and she sat back in her chair. She needed a change of scenery, being here was too much, too real and isn’t it ironic? Alexandria conquered Clarke. She was losing the love of her life to this other part of her, the one that was designed to steer Clarke away from Lexa.
Lexa thought it would be a good starting to point to begin mending the friendship between Anya, Costia and her. Nothing to do about Alexandria for the moment.
The woman joined Costia at the Ark University fair with Anya. The book was done, and she had spent several weeks burying herself in work and teaching. She desperately needed to do something else to do with her life besides hating Alexandria who was getting too damn close to Clarke.
Costia was all smiles; she was always the easygoing member of their group. No wonder Anya was crushing hard on her. And the best thing is that she fit into their little dynamic because she was the total opposite of Anya’s and Lexa’s natural broodiness. Costia was the ray of light in a garden of flowers.
“Okay, now that you know where all the stands are, make sure to check them out. I promised to visit a friend so I’ll meet you girls later, okay?” Costia looked at the two women.
“Yes, loud and clear.” Lexa smiled.
Anya and Lexa split from Costia and began their exploration of the fair.
The duo stopped by the literature club stand and bought cotton candy. Next they played the darts game at the theatre club stand, and Lexa won a 18 inch raccoon plush. Anya told her that the stuffed animal’s eyes reminded her of Lexa. Lexa just rolled her eyes and kept moving onto the rest of the fair booths.
After some time wandering around playing other games, they reached ‘The Arkers’ stand. The popular soccer team’s booth was packed as expected, and the lines caught their attention.
Lexa preferred to visit first the less crowded area when she spotted the hair that shone brighter than the sun.
“Clarke.” Lexa mumbled. And then Lexas realized that Clarke was not alone, she was walking with Bellamy, Octavia’s older brother, and that caused her a harsh sting in her abdomen. The way she leaned on him laughing, holding hands like the perfect couple. Lexa had no idea how close they were, but it did bother her.
“Yooo Commander!” Raven’s voice pulled Lexa’s eyes away from glaring at Clarke and Bellamy. Lexa noticed that Raven was alone and wondered why the Blake girl wasn’t with her.
“Grounder Princess, always a pleasure to see you too. Having fun?” Raven put her hands inside her red jacket to warm her hands and protect them from the cool breeze.
“Yes, very much Raven.” Lexa answered politely.
“Anything interesting around Reyes?” Anya asked.
“Hmm besides me?” Raven grinned. “The fishing competition is fun. The soccer stand has the soccer kick game and the kissing booth.”
“I was good at playing soccer. I bet I can get a prize there.” Anya cracked her knuckles confidently.
Raven arched her brow, crossing her arms. “I’d want to see that.”
“Lex, you should go to the kissing booth. God knows you need some loving nerd.” Anya removed her leather jacket and handed it to Lexa. She wouldn’t want to ruin her expensive jacket while kicking soccer balls.
“Only if it’s a hot chick Anya. I’m not kissing a man.”
“Oh the soccer team is all hot girls Commander; I bet you’ll find someone suitable for you.” Raven winked. “Oh and tonight there’s a big party at my place. You should totally come. Free booze and good music. Clarke is going to be there.”
“I don’t want to ruin your party Raven.”
Raven shook her head and rested her hand on Lexa’s shoulder - her hold firm, secure. “Lexa, you’re my pal, okay? You have the sexiest car on the block too so it is my job to try to get some brownie points.”
“You’re my pal too, Raven.” Lexa was incredibly honored to have won Raven’s trust. This meant the world to her. “I’ll be there.”
“Cool, now let’s get Miss Forrest to the soccer field before my leg starts fucking me up again.”
“Just Anya, Reyes. We’re not close enough to be pals though, but I tolerate you enough to allow us to be on a first name basis.”
Raven tilted her head and with her usual sass, she approached Anya. “Anya then. Everyone wants to befriend the genius, wise decision. Team Reyes for the win!” She lifted her hand to high five Anya.
In return she got a huff and eye roll from the World History teacher.
The mechanic waved goodbye. “Alright Lexa, see ya around.”
Raven departed with Anya, and she was left in the middle of campus with her raccoon and nothing else to do. She might as well go to the kissing booth.
Lexa stood in line thinking about going to that party. She had been working nonstop with her novel, the column of the magazine, and teaching. She needed to party hard and loosen up. That might be what she needed, one night of fun.
The line advanced at a good pace. Lexa almost the end when she saw Clarke talking with Costia out of the corner of her eye. Her two ex-girlfriends laughing and eating ice cream together. That had to be the most ironic imagery in the whole world. Lexa would have preferred not to feel anything at all, but her stupid heart was screaming at her - mine - which was ridiculous and not true. Clarke was not hers.
“Envy.” Lexa said to no one. That had to be what she was feeling now. Not jealousy because Costia was a friend, and she was the one who asked her to stay close in the first place. She trusted Costia. Still, it hurt to see Clarke having fun with everybody but her.
“Hey Miss Woods!!! You here for a kiss?”
Lexa blinked. She had been distracted and had not noticed Monroe with a quirky smile and starry eyes aimed at her.
“Hey Monroe. You’re on the team as well?” Lexa was surprised to say the least.
“Yup. Same as Octavia, Harper and Echo.”
“That’s remarkable. I’m glad.”
“So, getting a kiss?” Monroe asked again.
“Um, yes sure.” Lexa paid for the ticket and walked closer to the booth and offered her cheek.
Monroe smiled with a little pinkness on her cheeks. She approached Lexa but soon was interrupted by a very agitated Clarke.
“MONROOOOOE!!!” Clarke was breathing heavily, the lack of oxygen in her lungs destroying any form of speech she had at the moment. The blonde supported her arms on her knees trying to fill her lungs with needed air.
“Harper… Harper…” Clarke definitely required physical conditioning. Too much time sitting on front of the couch watching Netflix.
Monroe creased her brows not understanding a thing.
“She needs you in the, um you know, field.” Clarke finally said pointing to the area of the soccer kick game.
I’m working Clarke, can’t leave the booth you know?”
“I’ll hold the fort for you. Hurry up.” Clarke entered the booth while Monroe went to find Harper.
Lexa watched Clarke with certain confusion. One second she was with Costia, and the next thing she sees is Clarke standing right here in front of her catching her breath.
“I think I paid for a kiss.” Lexa’s tone was serious, but it held a hint of playfulness.
“Yeah you did.” Clarke took step forward and pecked Lexa’s lips. “Now you got it. Off you go Lexa.”
Lexa was confused by the blonde’s quick dismissal, not understanding the odd behavior of the artist. Lexa took a step away, but before she left she faced the girl again. “Clarke.”
“What?”
Lexa offered the plush she won earlier. “For you.”
Clarke observed the raccoon, then Lexa, and back at the raccoon. Clarke took the raccoon and smiled politely. She squeezed it in her arms. “Thanks.”
Lexa’s lips curved enough to form a shy smile and began walking away to meet Anya and Reyes.
The boy next in line, not much older than Clarke, was excited. “I want a kiss too just like that,” he said.
“Sorry dude, I’m not on the soccer team; I’m just a lazy art student taking care of the booth. But my friend should be back in a second.” Clarke winked and waited for Monroe to come back after looking for no one. As soon as Costia pointed out too excitedly that Lexa was about to get smooched real good by Monroe, Clarke took off running for the booth.
“But you kissed her!” The boy whined.
“Listen, she already had paid for her ticket. Only way she gets a kiss is if she pays, and she did. You wait for Monroe.”
Lexa heard that last part as she made her way to the soccer field. The words stung like acid on her skin knowing that the short peck they shared was because she paid. There was no way Clarke would have kissed her because she wanted to.
Lexa kept walking until she reached the soccer field of ‘The Arkers’ home. “What time at your place, Raven?” Lexa gave Anya her jacket back with a sour expression. The taller woman put it on and rolled up the sleeves before positioning herself to kick the soccer ball.
“Starts at 9.”
Anya kicked the last ball and bounced on the edge of the 100 point goal. “Shit! Well it was close Reyes. You win this time.” Anya pulled out a 20 bill and gave it to the mechanic.
“Always a pleasure doing business with you.”
“Okay I’ll see you then, Raven. Take care.” Lexa and Anya went out to look for Costia so they could head back to her place and get ready for the party.
Lexa decided after several hours of indecision to wear plain black skinny jeans and a white muscle shirt. After all it was a party, and there was no need to wear suits or be formal. She fixed her hair and makeup, making sure her eyeliner game was on point. Lexa had to admit that the reason why she was paying so much attention to her looks today was because Clarke was going to be there. And Lexa Woods had to impress her woman, even though they were at odds at the moment.
Alexandria might have Clarke’s interest right now, but Lexa wasn’t going to go down without a fight. Tonight she wanted to look good and hoped to catch Clarke’s attention somehow.
She picked up her car keys and made her way to the lower floor when she heard Anya and Costia having a conversation. Lexa was going to interrupt when she realized this was big.
“Wait!” Anya walked towards Costia. “Don’t go.”
Costia turned around on her heel to face again the blonde. “I don’t want to fight Anya. I’m tired of us fighting for nothing!”
“I know.” Anya rubbed the back of her neck and shoved her free hand into her jeans pocket. She licked her lips and looked back at the dark brown eyes staring at her hazel ones. “I’m sorry I’ve been acting like a moron in school.”
Costia tilted her head, narrowing her eyes not sure she was hearing right. She crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Tell me what is wrong? Have I hurt you in any way?” Costia dropped her defensive stance and let her arms fall limp to her sides, the concern in her voice was genuine, and Anya bowed her head remorseful for her terrible behavior.
“You’ve done nothing Costia. It’s me. I’ve been a terrible friend because I um, I developed feelings for you.”
Costia frowned, her mouth opened slightly.
“Yeah, I’m in love with you Cos. For some time actually. Since things started to crumble between you and Lexa.”
“What?” Costia was surprised, shocked.
Anya took a tentative step forward. “I love you Costia.”
Lexa heard nothing for several minutes. She was holding her breath not sure how this was going to end, remaining still behind the stairs to avoid being spotted and ruining this moment.
“Anya I’m, I’m sorry, I ah, I thought that… oh God.” Costia was overwhelmed by this confession. She had never considered the possibility that Anya would see her as anything other than a friend.
Anya lowered her head embarrassed. “It’s okay Costia. I get it. You don’t see me that way.” Anya laughed, but the sound was empty. “The heart wants what it wants. Don’t feel bad. I hope we can still be friends unless I ruined that as well.”
“We’re friends Anya, always.” Costia picked her purse. “I better get going.” Costia tried to reassure Anya with a smile that they were good, she turned around and went to the front door.
As the door clicked Lexa came out of her hiding spot and what she saw broke her heart more. Anya was her best friend, her protector, and there was nothing she could do right now to make her smile. Lexa simply pulled Anya to her and offered a hug.
She was terrible at comforting people, but she had learned a little from Clarke. A hug was all she could give Anya.
“You should go Lex.” Anya pushed Lexa away. “At least she knows now how I feel.”
“I’m here for you.” Lexa insisted. She couldn’t care much about a party when her best friend was in pain.
“No, go and have fun for me. I’ll drink myself to sleep, don’t worry.” Anya patted Lexa on the arm and waved goodbye.
Okay, that was the cue to leave Anya alone. Lexa took a deep breath and headed to Raven’s place.
_________________
Clarke had spent the last 40 minutes trying to choose a nice dress to go to the party. She wanted something comfortable but nice fitting. In the end she opted for a deep blue taffeta cocktail sleeveless dress accompanied with black heels. The knee length dress showed a medium amount of cleavage so Clarke put on a necklace to complement the gown. She pinned her hair down in a simple bun, she checked herself in the mirror one more time and left her dorm.
“Jesus Raven, let me help you with those crates!” Octavia followed behind Raven trying to take the boxes from the arms of the mechanic.
“Octavia, I’m not handicapped, just stop treating me like I’m useless!” Raven pressed her lips together, eyeing Octavia hard.
“I’m not Raven. I just wanna help.” Octavia grabbed the boxes and went out of dorm to finish packing Clarke’s car.
“I’ll wait downstairs Clarke.” Raven let out a long-suffering sigh and went outside.
Clarke went to the kitchen table and grabbed her phone; she slid the screen to see if she had another message from Alexandria. She pouted when there was nothing on screen, she was so used to interacting with the woman almost every minute of everyday. She missed her online friend, well, online crush now. She hoped she didn’t spook her with her bluntness.
Checking that everything was in her car Clarke returned to her bedroom to pick up her car keys and noticed the cute raccoon plush on her bed that Lexa gave her.
A small smile appeared on her face. The cute plush reminded her of Lexa to some extent. Maybe it was the constant frown that the brunette sported, maybe even the eyeliner. She walked to the mattress and picked up the soft toy.
Clarke was torn between her feelings for Lexa and Alexandria. She was crushing on the mystery writer because this weird friendship they developed felt close to Clarke’s heart. Little by little the woman won her trust with her honest advice. Even when Clarke had been a brat, Alexandria never shut her down. On the contrary, she encouraged her.
Nonetheless, her other problem remained. Lexa was back in her life. The woman who broke her heart also was the same one she had met in school. Always caring, being there for her even when she acted like a bitch. Lexa stood by her side like the strong rock she was.
The wound left in her heart was still raw, bleeding every single day because the traitor thought she was doing what was best for them. Clarke understood it, and yet, she couldn’t forgive her.
Not yet.
Clarke put back the plush on her bed and went to the parking lot. It was time to move on and bury these confusing thoughts for the night.
Two hours later, and the party was at its peak. Jasper and Monty had provided the booze that was moving freely around the building’s social area. Music pumped through a good sound system, and some of their friends danced while others played beer pong at a table nearby.
The few lamps that worked provided a bit of illumination, still most of the area was pretty dark. The brightest light came from the TV set that Monty installed to play Mario Kart while others got high in a corner and others danced.
Harper and Monroe were now battling in beer pong so Clarke decided to go to the bar to get more moonshine. Miller was standing near the barrel and smiled as soon as Clarke stopped by.
“Hey Nate, fill this up please.”
“You got it Clarke.” Miller smiled and filled her plastic red cup with the alcoholic beverage.
Clarke took a sip and watched as Jasper raised his fist after winning the last race. On the other side of the social area, she met Bellamy who was waving at her.
Clarke quickly went to meet Bellamy, hugging him and kissing his cheek. “Hey Bell, can’t believe you came!”
“Yeah, my shift ended earlier, and I was in need of a break. You look pretty good Clarke.” The man raked his fingers through the dark curls of hair falling on his face and took a step back to appreciate Clarke’s dress. “Nice party too.”
“It is. Let me tell O you’re around. Get comfy at the bar, and I’ll be back.” Clarke finished her cup and threw it in the nearest trashcan. She spotted Octavia talking with Murphy at the back of the social area so she headed there.
Octavia was drinking listening to Murphy complain about his shitty job and crappy life. Murphy was already smashed by the way he leaned on the wall to support his weight.
“Really Octavia, you’re one lucky bitch!” Murphy tipped his red cup draining all its contents, smashing it in his hand before throwing it on the grass. “Nice school, hot chick. No blood on your hands.” Murphy laughed. “You gonna get married to Reyes and live your happy life, Blake”
Octavia drank from her cup cackling in laughter. “Dude, no one’s getting married yet and what happened with Finn… there was nothing you could have done about that.”
“Whatever Blake, you get the point. You can get any girl or boy if you get bored of carrying Reyes around, keep playing or not, I don’t have that luxury!” Murphy slurred.
“Raven’s not a burden, she’s my responsibility. You have guilt and so do I.” Octavia said.
“Guilt?” Raven arched her brow, eyes dead cold looking at Octavia. “It’s always been like this hasn’t it? You don’t love me, you pity me! I don’t need your pity O. You feel obliged to care for me, to be with me. You didn’t tell Bell about us because this doesn’t mean a thing to you! It’s all because you feel guilty that I ended up like this for you!”
“No Raven! I love you!” Octavia tried to reach and hold Raven, but Raven yanked her hand away.
“Save it, O. Don’t worry, you don’t have to carry me around anymore. We’re done.” Raven turned around and walked away.
Murphy chuckled. “Damn, she’s pissed!”
“Ray, wait!” Octavia was going to run after Raven, but Clarke stopped her.
“Shut it Murphy!” Clarke was about to kick his ass, but she didn’t want to cause any more trouble at Raven’s party. “Bell is here O. Raven needs her space, and you should speak with her but with less alcohol in your system.”
Octavia stood still, wrapping her arms around herself. “I’ll check on Raven, O. Go with your bro.”
Clarke was following the path that lead back to the front of the apartment complex. She saw Raven go around the next corner. As she got closer she heard Raven speaking with someone.
“Yeah I’m fine Commander.” Raven told Lexa and limped her way back to her floor.
“Wait! I think a ride will make you feel better.”
Raven face lit up her eyes moving to the keychain hanging from Lexa’s fingertip.
“You fucking with me?” Raven returned to Lexa.
Lexa shook her head. “Go take it around the block, and let me know if it needs a tune up.”
Raven took the keys from Lexa. “Sure thing Commander, have fun.”
Lexa lifted her gaze and noticed Clarke standing in the back. Clarke stared at the woman in front of her under the dim lights of the backyard. The black jeans framed her lean long legs, and that muscle shirt revealed the tattoo on her right arm. Clarke was gazing at every inch of skin available to her delight, but she shook her head scolding herself mentally for being stupid.
“I’m not stalking you.” Was the first thing Lexa said. “I got invited.”
Clarke didn’t know who might have invited Lexa, maybe Monroe, but she was here. And she looked so damn hot, however, Clarke couldn’t show weakness. “I don’t care Lexa, do whatever you want.” With that Clarke turned around and made her way back to Bellamy and Octavia.
She spent the rest of the night drinking and brooding with Octavia while Bellamy watched Caris and Emori play beer pong to the sound of Ariana Grande’s ‘Break Free.’ She couldn’t deny that she stole glances whenever she could at Lexa who was currently playing Mario Kart with Jasper, Monty and Echo. Who would have thought that Lexa was going to fit in so well with her group of friends?
“Fuuuuck. The commander wins again.” Jasper grabbed his head. “Okay this requires extra drinks. Miller bring the booze man!”
Monty was laughing seeing Jasper abashed by the abilities of the brunette in the game. “Clarke you wanna play? Maybe Clarke’s Peach can beat Lexa’s Luigi.”
“Nah Monty, I’m dancing with Bell.” Clarke stood up from her stool and pulled Bellamy to the dance floor.
Lexa just kept staring at her with that characteristic glare of hers. Once Miller refilled everyone’s liquor the game resumed.
Clarke danced with Bellamy to the rhythm of Rudimental’s ‘Never Let you Go’ moving to the beat of the music. More people went to dance since Lexa was kicking major ass in the video game zone. The two danced softly side to side and when the song’s beat picked up so did they.
Lexa decided it was a good time to go to the bar and get something stronger. That dancing was making her nauseous.
Clarke was not going to be intimidated by that asshole that looked so effing good in that muscle shirt and tight black pants sitting at the bar. She was going to have fun. She danced shaking her head and arms, and Bellamy tried to keep up, but he wasn’t a good dancer. Still he tried.
The rhythm changed, and now she was dancing to Fifth Harmony’s ‘Worth It’. That is the moment Clarke decided it was a time to move that booty of hers. She could feel Lexa’s gaze on her back so why not tease that traitor a bit?
With the sexy bass dropping, Clarke moved closer to Bell, swaying her hips in slow circles, feeling the beat in her bones. She turned around swaying her ass close to Bell’s front so she could see Lexa. Her green eyes were locked on hers as she moved. Clarke was pleased to see the woman drinking and following every movement of her legs and ass. Clarke smirked, she took a drink of her almost empty cup, letting a bit escape her lips, run down her throat and into the cleavage she was showing. Lexa’s predatory eyes followed the liquid moving inch by slow inch, her lips slightly open at the magnificent view.
Clarke chuckled and turned as she circled her arms around Bellamy’s neck.
Clarke felt sexier than ever, particularly by the way Lexa’s body reacted to hers. She loved to feel that power over the stoic woman who was calming the heavy thirst with the cool booze.
This was going to be a long night.
Octavia was sitting with Lexa at the bar. Lexa tried to ignore Clarke and instead made convo with another piece of the triad.
“How’s it going Octavia?” Lexa drank the whole shot in one gulp and asked for more.
Octavia let a long desperate sigh leave her lips. “Everything is shit Lexa. I’m the worst girlfriend on the fucking planet.” Octavia lifted her cup and chugged it down in one gulp.
Lexa shrugged with a tiny smile on her lips. “I don’t think so. I hold the title as far as I know.” Lexa turned around to see Clarke still dancing with Bellamy, now to the ‘The Feeling’ by Justin Bieber feat. Halsey.
“Raven is pretty strong. Whatever it is going on I believe you can fix it.” Lexa gulped down another shot.
“She is.” Octavia pouted. “She went through so much, and I’ve been acting like an ass with her.”
“Nothing that Lord Byron can’t fix Octavia:
‘She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that’s best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.’”
“Woah, that is smooth Commander, Clarke might dig that shit. I’m gonna have to try something else to impress Ray.” Octavia took a swig of her beer. “Gooosh I’m so drunk. Are you drunk?”
“Drunk and in love.” Lexa mumbled as she gulped down yet another shot.
Octavia cracked in laughter raising her cup in toast. “Drunk and in love, you said it right Commander.”
Lexa lifted her gaze and observed how pretty Clarke was in that dress, how she moved like a goddess with those curves that she wanted to trace and worship.
“I owe her a dance, last year we were interrupted. Excuse me.” Lexa’s legs were heavy. She didn’t think she drank too much, but she felt brave and made her way through the darkness keeping her eyes on Clarke.
Bellamy wiped the sweat from his forehead and leaned forward to make himself be heard. “Clarke, you think now is the best time to approach Echo?”
Clarke looked over her shoulder, she spotted Echo in the beer pong area. “I guess Bell, be smooth okay?”
“I’m always smooth.” Bellamy kissed Clarke’s cheek before departing to chat with Echo.
Clarke looked around, and she lost Lexa. She was gone, or so she thought.
The sound of Jetta’s ‘I’d Love to Change the World’ (Matstubs Remix) started to play.
Clarke closed her eyes hearing the piano softly, the ominous sound filling her senses as the vocals of the song began. She started to move her body swaying her hips ever so slowly, and then she felt light fingers on her hips steadying her. Clarke opened her eyes, and she smiled. She knew who it was just by the feel of body heat and the earthy smell mixed with alcohol.
“Dance with me.” Lexa whispered in her ear, the breath was hot against her ear.
Clarke turned around and was met with emerald green eyes that looked as if they had been swallowed by a black hole.
Green. Green. Green.
“Please?” Lexa asked. Moving her fingers along Clarke’s spine slowly. Looking at Clarke intently and drowning in the pool of those blue orbs, holding her breath for her answer.
“I’d love to.” Clarke sang with the song, and the sick beat dropped.
Clarke laced her hands behind Lexa’s neck, and they moved in unison with the beat, their bodies colliding as if it was a battle to see who would back off first. Clarke moved swaying her hips hard and rubbing her chest against Lexa. Lexa pressed a thigh between Clarke’s legs keeping a steady pressure while her fingers traveled lower, along Clarke’s thigh until she could lift the edge of the dress and be in contact with the hot damp skin.
Lexa gasped, and Clarke bit her lower lip as Lexa touched the electric skin. Clarke turned around so Lexa would have to shift her grip. This time Clarke didn’t shy away from grinding her ass against Lexa’s crotch, and Lexa captured the blonde by her abdomen, her palm splayed over her tight stomach muscles while the other ran over her thigh. Lexa leaned down and dared to trace her lips on Clarke’s neck and shoulder’s sweaty skin. Clarke moaned softly and thanked Jesus that the lighting in this place was crappy or else all her friends were going to see some show.
They were safe in the dark.
Clarke twisted and pulled Lexa to her. There was zero distance between their bodies moving against each other; she was so worked up that if Lexa touched her down there she was going to come asap.
Lexa kept her hips rolling against Clarke, their noses bumping by how close they were dancing or dry humping or whatever they were actually doing. Lexa cupped Clarke’s cheek “But I don’t know what to do.” She sang softly against Clarke’s lips barely touching them. “So I’ll leave it up to you.”
Clarke chuckled at Lexa’s terrible singing. It was cute nonetheless, and Lexa was hot and very close so Clarke closed the gap between them and kissed Lexa softly, just like their first kiss during the Winter Formal.
Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe the music or maybe the taste of chapped lips on hers, but it felt magical, surreal, fireworks blowing up behind her eyelids as soft calloused hands roamed her lower back and ass.
The song was coming to an end, and Lexa broke the kiss gasping desperately for the needed oxygen, her lungs expanding and contracting, begging to be filled. Clarke was heaving as well.
“Upstairs.” She managed to say and started to walk to Raven’s apartment pulling Lexa with her.
Once they reached Raven’s quieter apartment, Clarke pushed the door open and led them to the empty bedroom. Once inside Clarke shut the door and admired Lexa from head to toe.
Clarke claimed Lexa’s lips with more passion than their previous kisses, the two kissing as two women starving for sustenance, the heat of their bodies burning them as they moved awkwardly towards the twin bed.
Clarke pulled apart breaking the kiss momentarily; she wasn’t that drunk, and she had to make sure Lexa consented to this. “Lexa, you wanna have sex with me?”
Lexa nodded. “Yes Clarke, I want you.”
“Lexa you’re wasted. How can you be sure you’re agreeing to this?”
“I’m 45% sober Clarke. I want this.” Lexa circled Clarke’s waist, her hands moving enticingly over Clarke’s hips.
“What about your girlfriend? Won’t she get mad?” Clarke kissed Lexa’s throat.
“I don’t have a girlfriend Clarke. What about Bellamy?” Lexa asked in her intimidating tone. Not that it worked with Clarke because she laughed.
“None of your business. Too much talking Commander.”
And just like that they resumed kissing - fumbling to get rid of their clothes and scattering them around the room. Lexa removed the bobby pins from Clarke’s hair setting the wondrous hair free. Clarke popped open Lexa’s jeans and unzipped them, sliding her hand right where she wanted and was met with wonderful wetness.
“Fuck!” Lexa gasped at the contact.
Clarke was the first who bumped the mattress and laid on the bed moving until she reached the pillows on top. Lexa quickly removed the material away from her legs along her underwear. Her muscle shirt had already been discarded moments ago.
Clarke’s dress came off easily, the blonde pulled it above her head and threw it.
“Shit!” Lexa muttered and bit her lip. “Matching underwear.” Lexa babbled as she removed her bra.
“Don’t stand there silly, come and take it off.”
Lexa complied and crawled quickly to the bed and hooked her fingers on the panties and pulled them away. She straddled Clarke and unhooked her bra to reveal her ample bosom. The brunette gulped down trying to ease the dryness of her throat at the marvelous view.
Lexa leaned down, but this time she kissed her slowly, adoringly, moving one hand over the curves of her hip while her other hand cupped a breast. Clarke whimpered under the touch and arched her back. Lexa was quick to move her mouth along the line of her neck to Clarke’s collarbone and met her breasts. Her tongue lapped over the pink nipple until it pebbled, and she proceeded to suck it gently while she tended to the other breast with her thumb..
Clarke was in ecstasy. Lexa was focused in giving her pleasure, to take care of her needs. Clarke couldn’t let her turn this into a fucking lovemaking session. She rolled them over and clasped Lexa’s wrists taking control quickly, straddling the brunette and pinning her firmly underneath.
“I’m gonna have my fun first.” Clarke smirked and lowered herself to Lexa’s naked body, balancing herself on top with one hand firmly placed on the mattress and the other tracing Lexa’s hipbone tats, her mouth sucking the perky breasts. Lexa arched herself more, one hand entangled in the blonde curls desperate to feel her mouth.
“Someone’s eager.” Clarke chuckled and moved to the abs kissing her way south, her tongue tasting the saltiness of the skin. She stopped at Lexa’s navel and continued licking. Clarke kept exploring this body that she had memorized. As an artist she could close her eyes and sketch this naked body in a matter of minutes. The familiarity of being with Lexa again was comfortable, and she had missed it.
Clarke moved between the thighs of the brunette, leaving marks along the tanned skin of her legs. She bit and sucked until their were angry marks to remind Lexa of her pain. Clarke stopped just above her mound and looked at Lexa’s dark glassy eyes, extending her torture a tad longer.
“Please Clarke.” Lexa whimpered.
Clarke nodded and sank her mouth in the soft flesh, heat and wetness welcoming her as she dug her tongue between the labia of the woman she loved.
Okay no, she didn’t love her. This was just sex. Raw, good, fucking sex.
Lexa shut her eyes. With one hand, she dug her nails in the sheets and the other held the golden locks to keep Clarke where she needed her the most. Clarke thrusted with her tongue first the tight ring of muscles and kept circling the sensitive nub with her thumb. Her tongue was merciless in her fucking, alternating between soft and hard strokes so that she kept the woman on edge. Teasing her until Lexa begged for more. This was home for Clarke, this sweet scent mixed with the sour flavors coming from Lexa’s wet channel, flooding her, invading her greedy mouth. This was where Clarke wanted to spend her days and nights.
“Please” Lexa was on the verge of madness.
“Open your eyes, Lex. I want to see you.” Clarke said.
Green. Green. Green.
She repositioned herself into a comfortable position and slid one finger inside, then another, and began pumping hard. Her mouth constantly sucked on the clit as her drenched fingers were knuckle deep inside, curving them slightly to reach the spot that brought the most pleasure to Lexa.
“Claaarke, I’m gonna, fuuuuck… Claaaarke!”
“Let go baby, I got you!” Clarke slid three fingers and her pace was relentless, hitting the g-spot of the woman who changed her, Lexa buckled her hips matching Clarke thrust by thrust until it was too much. Lexa curled her toes and screamed Clarke’s name as she came.
She let her ride her orgasm with care until Lexa was okay. Clarke crawled back up after cleaning her good with her mouth and kissed her tenderly, Lexa hummed feeling herself in Clarke’s mouth. “You okay?”
Lexa affirmed with a nod. “Never better.”
Clarke kissed her shoulder and traced the tattoo of the arm of the brunette with her fingertips as she cuddled her.
“It’s my turn.” Lexa sat on the bed, her body glowing with the thick layer of perspiration watching Clarke smile lazily.
“Don’t you need to rest?”
Lexa laughed. “Clarke I’m 26, not 62. I don’t need rest.”
Clarke burst in laughter. “So full of yourself Commander”
Lexa cupped Clarke’s cheek and kissed her. “I’m serious, I have the stamina to keep you busy all night.”
Clarke sat and arched her brow. “Can you prove it?”
A smirk was displayed on Lexa’s face. A bit cocky if you asked her. “It would be my utmost pleasure to prove myself.”
“We’ll see about that.”
Lexa was quick with her hands and mouth, claiming every single inch of skin. She kissed her breasts and sucked them with her usual gentleness, her fingers traced her curves until she reached her drenched pussy and slid her index finger knuckle deep. Clarke hissed and dug her fingers hard on Lexa’s arms.
“More!” Clarke demanded. and Lexa complied pushing two fingers while her magical tongue lapped over the ridges of her hot skin, and sucked at her clit. Once Lexa felt Clarke was comfortable enough, she pushed three fingers inside giving some time for the wall of muscles to take her in. Clarke’s nails dug hard in her scalp and long slim back, but Lexa didn’t care.
“Fuck Lexa!” Clarke was a whimpering mess, but Lexa still had to show her she wasn’t kidding. She pulled out to a very disappointed Clarke.
“What the…”
“Turn around.” Lexa ordered. Clarke shifted and once she was in all fours Lexa lifted her ass in the air and plunged her fingers again.
“Holy fuck!” With the change of angle Lexa was going deeper and faster, fucking her from behind.
Lexa was on her knees pressing her wet pussy against Clarke’s butt as her fingers went inside and out of her cunt relentlessly, the sound of wet skin slapping against skin resounded in the dark bedroom along deep growls and moans.
“Lex… oh fuuck. Lexa!”
“Come Clarke!” Lexa’s arm was about to fall off, but that didn’t stop her. She wanted to hear Clarke screaming her name. “Come for me!”
Clarke screamed Lexa’s name loud enough for all the neighbors to hear.
Clarke collapsed on the mattress followed by Lexa. Clarke pulled the sheets over her drenched body, the bed was pretty small so she took a corner, and her eyes started to shut. Lexa took the space behind Clarke and snuggled her.
“Not so bad.” Clarke mumbled. She was spent.
Lexa kissed Clarke’s cheek. “You weren’t that bad either Clarke.”
The two laughed. The silence started to fill the bedroom little by little.
“You’re going to regret this, aren’t you?” Lexa pressed her body to Clarke, as if spooning her was going to stop Clarke from running away in the morning.
“Probably.” Clarke said. “But it’s still dark.”
Lexa sighed sadly, she kissed Clarke’s neck and inhaled the delicious scent of the girl. What if she told her the truth right now, maybe this moment would be more meaningful if she did. “I have to tell you something.”
“You’re going to ruin this. Don’t.”
Lexa sighed in resignation. “Good night Clarke.”
“Night Lex.”
The morning light crept through the dark room. It was eerily silent, and her head was killing her. Clarke opened one eye and realized this was not her bedroom nor her bed.
“Shit!” Clarke whispered keeping it as quiet as possible. She sat up slowly on the bed and took a look around. The first thing she met was the gorgeous tattoo that she displayed at her art expo last year.
Fuck me.
No dream or imagination. She slept with none other than Lexa Woods. Her ex-girlfriend whom she hated more than words could express.
Clarke couldn’t panic now; she needed to get her stuff and bolt.
This had been a big mistake.
The blonde slipped slowly off the bed and started to look for her clothes, which were in a galaxy far far away. She started to walk on her tiptoes and stepped on one of her bobby pins, she hissed, but was able to shut her mouth and not scream in pain.
Fuck fuck fuck.
She finally found her panties and put them on. She kept looking around the bedroom trying to find her bra and dress.
After five minutes of crawling, she finally was decent enough to do her walk of shame. She took a last glance at the sleeping woman on the bed. Her even breaths as she slept, her back not just had the gorgeous tattoo as Clarke had left a memento of her own. Her blue eyes moved over the uncovered skin and noticed that she had left Lexa with several red marks on the tanned skin. Clarke quickly made her way to the bathroom and checked herself in the mirror. Her skin was flawless, Lexa was always careful not to leave any love marks of her own. Clarke had no idea if she wanted to sigh in relief or in disappointment. The only evidence of their night together was the deep throbbing of her insides that reminder her that she had been fucked real good.
She grabbed her heels that were thrown in the corner and silently left the bedroom. She let out a long breath now that Lexa was out of sight.
“Sonofabitch!”
The blonde escaped and hoped Lexa was drunker than her last night. She needed to forget this happened.
Sadly for Clarke, Lexa had been awake for hours unable to sleep because the brunette knew that as soon as the light came her time with Clarke was over. She could allow herself to love Clarke in the dark.
She knew Clarke was regretting this, but she didn’t. This was the only time she allowed herself to be weak, the only time she chose Clarke instead of her head.
And now, she had to live with the consequences and the pain.
Because this time it was Clarke who walked away.