A/N: Honeymoon time!!!
Beta: @cos-geek-monkey
Word count: 5,647
Read on AO3 Previous chapters
CHAPTER 5: MEMORIES
“Ladies and gentlemen, let’s welcome Mrs. and Mrs. Woods.” Anya announced as Lexa and Clarke made their way into the grand salon of The Ark - the site of their fancy reception. The hall was decorated with earthy colors mixed with tones of gold and blue. The place was filled with several business people from Lexa’s world and their closest family and friends.
Lexa guided Clarke to the dance floor for their first dance. Lexa rested her hand on Clarke’s waist while holding her hand. Clarke leaned closer to Lexa anchoring her hand on her shoulder. “Mrs. Griffin has a better ring to it.” The blonde whispered in Lexa’s ear making her chuckle.
The two danced to the rhythm of Adele’s ‘Make You Feel my Love’ moving slowly with the rhythm of the song, looking into each other’s eyes, as if there was no one else around them, only the two of them.
“Who chose the song?” Lexa asked as she twirled Clarke slowly.
“Raven and O were discussing songs, obvs I told them we had no song since we’re not together ‘together,’ and they thought of a song that represented us.”
“Is that so?” Lexa scowled.
Clarke simply laughed circling Lexa with her arms and resting her head in the crook of her neck, the two of them waltzing along the dance floor.
“Sounds about right.” Lexa whispered as she dropped kisses on Clarke’s head.
A touch on Lexa’s shoulder broke the two women out of their bubble. A smiling Jake asked to dance with his daughter. And Abby asked Lexa to dance. The newlyweds split reluctantly from the comfortable closeness with one another and moved on to their next partners.
“I’m really glad I got to be in my kid’s wedding.” Jake began, moving side to side with Clarke.
“Dad!” Clarke scoffed, making the handsome man laugh jovially.
“Hey kiddo, I’m getting old, and you were so comfy being by yourself I thought I was going to die without seeing my kid happily married to her soulmate.”
Clarke sighed looking longingly at her now wife. “Dad, Lexa is not my soulmate. She’s my friend. And you know why I’m doing this.”
“Honey, when you see Lexa don’t you feel a connection? Like when you look at her, don’t you feel better? Happier?”
“Yeah but—”
“But nothing baby, she is. Sometimes they can be in the form of a lover, or a friend, or as both. You and Lexa bonded in such a special way when you first met. Your eyes became brighter as if you were seeing light for the first time. You two belong together, as the sky and the earth.”
“Dad that sounds dumb.”
Jake smiled and kissed her daughter’s forehead. “But that’s how it was. That ring you have is not fake Clarke. The spike in your heart rate when you saw Lexa waiting for you at the end of the aisle is not fake either nor the way you shine when she holds you.” Jake spun Clarke a couple of times as they danced on the floor. “This party? All the happiness we feel for you is not fake. We believe in you two, and whether you want to keep playing this game of yours or acknowledge that what you have is real is up to you two. We’ll support you no matter what happens, okay?”
Clarke nodded and hugged her dad so tight. “I’m scared dad, I don’t want to ruin this.”
Jake embraced his daughter like when she was a small child scared of the thunderstorms. Clarke would run to her father’s arms and stay in his warmth for as long as it rained. Her mother will hum a lullaby that helped her sleep. “Don’t be sweetie, you’re brave and your heart is strong.”
The song ended, and Jake kissed Clarke’s cheek. “Let’s get our wives back, shall we?”
Clarke giggled looking at the stern face of Lexa who simply nodded to all the things her mother said. Abby was probably providing instructions on how to take care of her daughter and throwing a threat or two. It was really hilarious.
“Hello Dr. Griffin, may I have Mrs. Griffin back?” Clarke asked her mother. Lexa rolled her eyes and took the hand offered by Clarke.
“But of course, honey. It was a pleasure Lexa.” Abby smiled and returned to her husband’s arms pecking him on his lips.
Clarke and Lexa made their way to their table as the rest of the guests danced and chatted.
“Are you having fun?” Lexa asked Clarke as she pulled a chair for her to sit.
“Yeah, best day ever.”
“Woah, you two are disgusting, really.” Raven made herself comfortable in a nearby chair. “Just kiss already, no one is going to be surprised.”
“Shut it Raven.” Clarke blew a kiss in Raven’s direction.
“But don’t worry lovers, you’ll have time to get cozy with each other on your honeymoon.” The dark-haired girl wiggled her eyebrows. Lexa groaned. She had no idea what crazy ideas their friends had in mind. She only could hope it wasn’t something strange or embarrassing.
The girls chatted for some time discussing general topics, about their plans for the next weekend and all the things that they usually did. Getting back into the comfort zone of their interactions.
“It’s cake time.” Octavia came to pick up the lovebirds and guided them to their wedding cake.” You two are gonna love this. It has a mixture of Lexa’s fave and Clarke’s.”
The cake had three tiers finished with delicate ivory flower stencils and monochrome ribbons in black. The cake was made of devil’s food and the filling was coconut pecan buttercream. Clarke and Lexa’s favorite flavors combined.
Lexa and Clarke posed for several pictures that they were going to publish in all the magazines and newspapers to spread the word that indeed the womanizer of DC had been finally caught by a woman before cutting the cake.
The newlywed couple held in their entangled hands what looked like a hunting knife provided by Lincoln who thought it would be more original to cut the cake with a badass weapon. Lexa was not going to argue with her friends’ decisions on her wedding anymore. For something that was a show for the press and shareholders, the wedding had been more than incredible; it was beautiful, and Lexa felt happy and proud to cradle Clarke’s hand in hers.
Together they sliced the spongy cake and amid claps they fed each other a piece. Raven began chanting “Kiss, kiss, kiss!” And of course their friends joined in, however, Lexa wouldn’t submit to peer pressure. Instead after their first bites of cake had been taken, she swept a very nervous Clarke in her arms and kissed away the tiny dollops of frosting from the corner of her mouth.
That earned them some whistles, and the laughter of their friends made Clarke unwind; she boldly took Lexa’s fingers and licked the cream from them.
“Alright you two, get a room!” Bellamy shouted earning more laughter from the guests.
The party continued until very late, however, Lexa and Clarke didn’t have all night. They had a plane to catch to their next destination.
“Okay Lex, here you go - the plane tickets. Bellamy will take you to the airport. Everything is ready in your hotel so make sure to have a good time.” Anya handed all the documents for their honeymoon trip and hugged the brunette. “Enjoy your week ladies, use it to relax.”
“Thanks Anya, we will.” Clarke began to say her goodbyes, Lexa too.
Together they waved to all the remaining guest and departed. It was time to begin their life as a married couple even though it was all a charade.
After changing into more comfortable clothing, the friends were taken to the airport with Bellamy at the wheel.
Clarke leaned on Lexa’s shoulder. Her eyes were closing, and Lexa smiled at the view.
“Come here.” Lexa helped Clarke lean on her lap as she massaged her scalp. “You’re tired, try to sleep while we get to the airport.”
“Mhmm, thanks.” Clarke hummed, she let herself relax. This party had taken a toll on the doctor, and after having a day filled with happiness, all Clarke wanted to do was sleep.
“No problem.” Lexa smiled while she kept massaging her until she felt the blonde fell asleep.
Bellamy checked in the rearview mirror and seeing the expression of her friend he simply chuckled.
“What?” Lexa asked looking at the mirror.
“You look really happy Lex. It’s not something one gets to see everyday. Clarke brings out the best in you.”
“Clarke is my everything. She’s really the best friend one could ask for.”
“Yep, the princess is the best friend all of us have had the pleasure to meet. However, this weird relationship you two have is something out of this world.” Bellamy laughed as he maneuvered the car turning on the freeway exit. “When Clarke introduced you I thought what a bitch, but seeing how you made Clarke smile and the way you cared for her, I had to admit that I was wrong, whatever Clarke saw in you had to be good so I trusted her. You make it hard for people to get to know you Lexa, even for us, but with Clarke you drop your mask and that has to mean something. This play or whatever this is, has significance. What I’m trying to say is don’t fuck it up.”
The smirk on Lexa’s face came with ease. “Is that a threat, Bellamy?”
“No, consider it friendly advice.” Bellamy affirmed with a cocky grin.
____________________
At the first crack of sunlight inside the room Clarke stirred in bed. She blinked several times trying to gather where on earth she was. She was tired after last night’s party and the traveling. Wiping her eyes with the heel of her hands she sat in bed, taking in the huge room.
A weird sensation called her attention. She finally opened her eyes and noticed the gold ring on her left hand.
Oh shit, I really did it.
Yes, Clarke Griffin married her best friend who was nowhere to be seen.
The room was decorated with flowers, and there was a bottle of champagne on the small table. The king size bed was pretty comfy as well as the warm sheets enveloped her body. Clarke touched the left side of the bed but it was cold, which meant that Lexa didn’t share the bed with her.
Clarke removed the gold ring from her hand and paid special attention to it. In the inner part the letters L + C were engraved, and Clarke couldn’t stop the smile spreading on her face. She lifted her gaze, but the only sign that Lexa had indeed come with her were the bags left in front of a closet.
Walking barefoot on the soft beige carpet, Clarke opened the double doors of her bedroom. “Lexa?” She met a huge living room with a 46’’ LED TV on the wall. The suite was equipped with a full kitchen, and as Clarke explored the hotel room she reached the white leather couch where she spotted an exhausted Lexa sleeping.
Her heart started to do that thing where it beat faster in the presence of Lexa. Her breaths were even, and she was wearing a simple baggie t-shirt and shorts. Clarke made her way to the brunette as silently as she could and took a seat on the coffee table in front of the couch to watch her wife.
Clarke smiled at the sight of the matching gold ring Lexa wore. She carefully pushed a chestnut curl from her face to see her peaceful face, her pretty lips. Lexa stirred turning on her improvised bed rolling on her back and pushing the pillow comfortably underneath her head.
“What?” Lexa mumbled, still her eyes were closed.
“You slept here?” Clarke asked. “You do know we have a king bed, right?”
Lexa sat, the sound of bones cracking resounded in the silent room as she adjusted from her slumber.
“You were tired, and I didn’t want to bother you Clarke. Besides, this is not bad.”
“Don’t be silly Lexa. How many times have we shared a bed? It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
“We weren’t married before.”
“What does that mean?” Clarke crossed her arms, “we’re friends dumbass, the bed is huge, and I need someone to warm my cold feet.”
A smile appeared on Lexa’s face. “And here I thought you wanted to take advantage of me.”
Clarke laughed at the idiotic comment. “Oh please Lexa, you’re not as hot as you think you are.”
“Ouch!” Lexa scrubbed her face trying to wake up. “Nothing like ego smashing first thing in the morning.”
Clarke winked. “At your service, now let’s get some breakfast and enjoy our honeymoon, Mrs. Griffin.” The blonde dropped a kiss on Lexa’s cheek and headed to the phone to order food before they began their adventure.
“Yeah, keep that up blondie.” Lexa finally was awake enough to start doing shit. She went to the bedroom and started to unpack their bags for their whole week in the gorgeous city of Polis. A city that was full of memories for the brunette.
The couple took breakfast on their balcony with a view of the beautiful beach. Clarke was impressed by the beauty of their honeymoon spot, the clear water, the white sand, it was such a wonderful place to be.
“Polis is a gorgeous vacation spot. I’m pretty glad Octavia and Raven opted to bring us here.” Lexa commented while she cut her smoked sausage with her knife.
“It’s my first time here. But you seem to know about this place.”
“Yes, this was my usual summer vacation spot. Until one day my parents were like, let’s go somewhere else, and we ended up in Mount Weather.”
“Oh, and that’s where we met.”
Lexa offered one single nod.
“Incredible. I guess you’re going to be my tour guide then.” Clarke winked taking Lexa’s hand in hers.
“Of course, I would love to.” Lexa seemed faraway. “Anya used to come here as well and together we spent all our summers at the beach and doing dumb things as kids.”
Clarke smiled just thinking about little Lexa and Anya having fun. “I can’t wait to hear those stories.” The blonde pulled out her phone and texted her friends thanking them for selecting Polis. “You know? I think that we need to take some pictures to upload. The press might want to know about your whereabouts as a married woman.”
“Right, that makes sense.”
“Okay then, let’s take a picture here with the ocean as our background.”
Together they posed for the selfie, holding each other closely. Clarke snapped the picture and uploaded it to her social media account tagging the company as well.
@DrGriffinClarke With the wife in our honeymoon @GroundersINC @LexaWoods
A second later Clarke got a comment from Octavia.
@BlakeOrgana Clarkey that pic looks like the millions you have w Lexa. Show us the love.
“Can you believe this?” Clarke showed the text to her friend. Lexa smiled shaking her head.
“Let’s show them.” Lexa stepped behind Clarke and circling her waist with her arms she leaned and kissed her neck. “This might look more like newlyweds, right?”
Clarke gulped down the sudden lump, feeling Lexa’s warmth and her soft breasts on her back, her hot lips on her neck moving softly. “Yeah sure.” Clarke snapped a second picture and uploaded it.
@DrGriffinClarke Wife is thirsty @LexaWoods
Immediately the reactions were swift, likes and comments flooded her account.
“Oh, I guess that’s what they were talking about.” Clarke was amazed at the increase in followers she had since it was announced she was dating Lexa.
@RavenMecha @DrGriffinClarke @LexaWoods Hell yeah Clarkey get some.
@Anyalives @DrGriffinClarke @LexaWoods gal pals
Clarke ignored the rest of mentions and put the phone away. “I guess no more pictures for the day. Now let’s get ready. I am dying to go to the beach.”
The two friends spent all day on the beach. When they got tired of the ocean waves and the salty water, the two of them walked along the coastline. Lexa pointed out the interesting places to go at night and shared stories of her childhood with Clarke. For some reason Lexa was careful with her words, as if guarding something. However, Clarke didn’t push for information. Lexa would open up if she needed to.
“At night I’d come with Anya, and we’d make a bonfire there.” Lexa signaled the area near a cliff where the beach expanded into a sand bank. Some logs were buried around a circle, some other kids probably kept using the place for their summer breaks. “The year before I met you I had my first kiss right there.” Lexa showed Clarke the area covered with bushes. Lexa let go of Clarke’s hand and took one of the flowers from the bush putting one in Clarke’s hair. “She kissed me right where we are standing. Her name was Ontari. She was brunette like me, hazel eyes and gorgeous tanned skin, a bright smile, and she was really skilled with a surfboard.” Lexa smiled as the memory clearly formed in her mind. “And with her hands too.”
Clarke had no idea why the way Lexa reminisced about that girl from her childhood bothered her. No she wasn’t jealous. Not at all.
“And what happened to her?”
Lexa shrugged, “I met you.” She said as a matter of fact. “I lost interest in Polis, instead I knew I wanted to spend my summers in Mount Weather with you.”
Clarke couldn’t help but feel giddy. That was pretty smooth.
Lexa kept walking with Clarke down the beach enjoying the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks and the stars twinkling above them. Far away another young couple were apparently doing the same. The place was a perfect romantic getaway. During their walk they spotted more couples getting cozy together.
“OH!”
“What is it?” Lexa grimaced.
“I think those two are skinny dipping.” Clarke looked at the couple deep in the waters. When she turned to look at Lexa she met a sad expression. Not like the one she had before.
“Lex? Everything okay?”
“I’m tired. I’d rather go back to our room.”
They made their way back to their suite and after a quick shower Lexa went back to the couch.
“Lexa come to bed. There’s no need to stay on the couch if there’s space in the bed.” Clarke insisted seeing that her stubborn friend was a bit off.
Lexa was seated leaning her arms on her thighs, looking out through the glass door that led to their balcony, as if seeing things in her mind, memories that were clearly bothering her.
Clarke touched her shoulder careful to not startle her. “Lexa?”
Lexa shook her head slightly. “Yes, I hear you. Are you sure?”
Clarke didn’t answer, instead she took Lexa’s hand and pulled her up from the couch guiding her to the king bed. She opened the double doors and let the brunette through. She sat on her side of the bed and turned her lamp off.
Lexa took the other side. She lifted the blankets and covered their bodies. “Good night Clarke.”
“Good night Lexa.”
Clarke hoped that whatever was troubling her friend disappeared and didn’t ruin their honeymoon or vacation, whatever this was.
She was wrong.
______________________
On the fourth night after enjoying the beach and all the water activities they could do during their stay, the newlyweds spent their last night at the local club. Lexa had been more quiet than usual; they had fun but her mind was elsewhere. Clarke had tried to reach her, but Lexa simply shut her out.
They ordered a couple of margaritas as the music blasted through the speakers. It was full of young people dancing and drinking.
Clarke wanted to keep Lexa’s spirits high so she pulled the businesswoman to the dance floor. They danced for some time until Lexa again insisted she was a bit tired and went back to the bar.
Lexa buried herself at the bar, drinking as Clarke had fun dancing with some dude. Not that it mattered, after all they were here as friends.
“Can I offer you a drink?” A young man sat next to her.
Lexa chuckled. “Sorry.” She lifted her hand showing the gold ring.
“Shame, a man shouldn’t leave her woman alone.”
That made Lexa chuckle, “A woman you mean. She’s dancing, I suck at it so I just drink.”
“Oh. Still a shame.” The man winked at her and walked away. However, that caught the ears of the bartender who refilled the glass of the brunette.
“On the house.” The woman smiled at Lexa. “Honeymoon?”
“Yes.” Lexa lifted the glass and gulped down the liquor. “Ah, that was good.”
The bartender refilled the glass again. “The blonde one huh?”
“That one. Mine.” Lexa smiled as she drank the next glass.
“She’s pretty.” The bartender leaned on the table making small conversation. “You’re pretty too, with all due respect.”
Lexa faced the bartender who was smiling brightly. Her lips were red by the lipstick she wore, and her eyes were a deep brown or maybe it was the lack of proper lightning in the club or maybe the size of the pupils hid the real color. Lexa lifted her glass. “For the pretty ladies then.” And she downed the next glass.
Lexa and the woman chatted while Clarke had fun dancing, Lexa kept an eye on Clarke just to make sure she was indeed having fun. Because that’s what friends do, take care of each other.
Talking with the bartender had been interesting. Lexa could keep her mind occupied and not think about the old memories that hurt her, memories that were fresh in her mind and had vividly returned as soon as she stepped back into Polis. She couldn’t blame Octavia and Raven for sending them here. No one knew about what happened here; it was a coincidence that her friends thought this could be a great vacation place, and Anya knew she had only happy memories here so it made sense to select Polis for them.
“Your wife seems content. Don’t you mind she’s dancing with others?”
Lexa nursed the rum in her hands, her mind was already buzzing, her tongue felt heavy. “No, she’s my friend, and I trust her.”
“That’s cute.” The woman slid her fingertip over Lexa’s arm. “Not the jealous type.”
“Not at all.” Lexa liked the way the woman touched her. It was intimate. Flirtatious.
Lexa looked at the deep red lips of the woman and licked her own. Lexa could forget about her inner struggles just like she used to do, on top of another woman, drowning in her gasps and moans, her fingers deep in the wetness. She could lose herself and forget the pain that haunted her.
“Look at that, break time. I’m gonna refresh myself a bit.” The woman winked and left the bar. Lexa followed her with her gaze and after noticing that she was in the bathroom Lexa finished her drink and followed in a bee line.
Lexa smirked. She liked where this was going. It had been too damn long. She missed the contact, the intimacy, the sweet scent of arousal. Having another body underneath to make her forget how useless and unworthy she was, how she wasn’t good enough.
As she pushed the door open, she found the woman sitting on a table. Lexa turned around slowly and locked the door. Her head was fuzzy, but her legs were supporting her well enough, her mind was another thing though.
“I’m married.” Lexa touched her ring as she approached the woman. “Is that appealing to you?” The brunette asked as she spread the woman’s legs to stand between her, leaning down on her neck and kissed her there.
The woman moaned in appreciation.
“I guess that’s a yes.” Lexa chuckled and began to kiss the stranger with fierceness and desperation. Her hands quickly trying to find warm skin underneath clothes. She kissed her hard pushing until the woman open herself, and Lexa used her tongue, drawing another moan.
The stranger unbuckled her pants with frantic attention as Lexa ran her hands over ample breasts making the woman moan in her mouth. Lexa let herself get lost in the hot skin and the cheap perfume, it wasn’t Clarke’s but she could do with that. The woman ran her hands over her wet underwear, Lexa moaned and thought of Clarke.
Clarke…
“… if I meet someone while we’re married I’ll talk about it with you first. And if it happens to you then promise you’ll do the same.”
Lexa remembered amidst her alcoholic state those soft words spoken by the only person who had seen her buried in the mud at the lowest point in her life.
“Shit!” Lexa pulled away breathing heavily. Her clothes were messy, and her lips were bruised by the intense kissing. “I uh, I promised. I promised. Excuse me.”
Lexa stumbled on her way back to the club. She got anxious, and her heart rate was over the roof. She was trying to pinpoint Clarke’s location, but her eyes were tired and her vision was blurry. Her head was killing her, It was too much to handle; she was aroused and lonely. Her best friend was nowhere to be seen, and Lexa was starting to panic.
She closed her eyes trying to calm down enough to find Clarke and instead saw Costia, her sweet Costia moaning and begging to come.
Lexa shook her head trying to snap out of it. She couldn’t because Costia was screaming as she fucked that stranger. Riding her like there was no tomorrow, the sound of flesh against flesh was deafening, and Lexa stood there watching like a fool as the bouquet of roses in her hand fell on the floor. The way Costia squeezed her breasts as she was close to orgasm, riding harder, thrusting herself in long fingers as her ass lifted her up and down. Her voice desperate to be fucked by that woman who was not her. A stranger who was pleasuring her woman. Lexa fisted her hands trembling with fury; her girlfriend was so into the stranger’s ministrations that no one noticed that she was right there standing in the doorway.
Lexa snapped her eyes open bringing her back to her present, and that’s when she found Clarke dancing too close to an unknown man. Her eyes were seeing red, and she pushed people out of her way to reach her wife. Her woman.
“Get away from her!” Lexa growled and shoved the man whose hands were tracing the soft skin of her spouse.
“Lexa what the hell?” Clarke noticed the flushed cheeks of her friend, her glassy eyes and her alcoholic breath. She saw the layer of perspiration coating Lexa’s features and the disheveled clothes. Both were unusual for Lexa. Clarke came to her own conclusion, and her heart broke a bit.
“She’s mine!” Lexa stated to the buff man who was not happy at all.
“What the fuck bitch!” The angry man took a step forward towering over Lexa, but Lexa was beyond pissed. She shoved the man again harder; people were getting away from what was soon to be a battle royale. Lexa was squaring up ready to throw some punches.
Clarke intervened stepping in front of her friend and pushed Lexa away before security came and kicked them out or Lexa killed that man, because¡ Lexa Woods knew how to fight. “Come on! We’re going back to our room!” She pulled Lexa away forcefully before the woman ended up in the headlines of the local newspaper. This was not the kind of press they needed.
After finally reaching their suite, Clarke left Lexa back in their bedroom and headed to get a bottle of water for the agitated brunette.
“Lexa, what the fuck was that?” Clarke offered the bottle, and Lexa accepted it reluctantly.
“I uh…” Lexa took a sip of the cool water, trying to remove the fog in her mind. “I kissed the bartender,” she admitted.
Clarke arched her brows and took the available space beside Lexa. She shouldn’t feel the pang of disappointment since they were obviously faking this marriage. Lexa had all the right to hook up with someone else. But not on their fake honeymoon, not when they had only been married less than a week, Clarke was deeply hurt and worried that Lexa went beyond the kissing stage, and she had to know if Lexa banged the bartender. “Okay? Did you two…” was all Clarke could muster. She couldn’t spit the words out.
“No, I didn’t make it that far.” Lexa lowered her head, not meeting Clarke’s eyes. “I’m really sorry.”
“What is wrong with you? You’ve been acting weird, and you won’t talk to me.” Clarke lifted Lexa’s chin so she could meet her eyes. “You almost punched that guy Lexa; you’re not like this. You don’t let your emotions rule you Lex. This isn’t you, so what happened?”
Lexa drank more water, it was making her feel better now, she closed her eyes trying to remember what she saw, but it was all so confusing.
“He touched you, he was grinding his dick on your ass!”
“Lexa, I was at a distance. I wouldn’t let anyone touch me like that, not without my consent.”
Lexa let that information sink in; she was being an idiot. Clarke was doing nothing wrong, and she had a sudden attack of jealousy. Clarke was no possession. She was her best friend. Lexa felt like utter shit for ruining this beautiful week with Clarke.
“Talk to me Lex. Please, I’m here for you, always have been. Tell me what’s hurting you.” Clarke begged. She was worried about Lexa reverting back to the old Lexa after all she went through. Clarke knew that the emotional scars were the hardest to heal, and Lexa was still healing from Costia and from her parents’ death.
“Costia…” Lexa sobbed, “She let that woman touch her. I was not good enough for her and she was… she was…” Lexa broke, and Clarke circled her body pulling her close to her chest, holding her tight against her warmth, rubbing her head and back.
“I brought Costia to Polis.”
That’s when it clicked for Clarke and explained the sudden change in her friend.
“We had another fight, and I wanted to make things right. Costia was mad again because I didn’t want to acknowledge our relationship to the press. For me it wasn’t important so I wanted to show her how much she meant to me. I brought her to my childhood vacation spot. We spent a weekend here, and I took her to the beach. We skinny dipped, and we made love everywhere. I loved her so much Clarke. I told her all the plans I had in mind for us, to build a family, to make her happy. I promised I’d give her anything she asked of me as our bodies entangled under the duvet.” Lexa took several deep breaths trying to calm down, to let the anger she felt dissipate. “She asked me to make our relationship public, to let the world know she was mine. I said no. I found her two weeks later fucking another woman in our bed.”
Clarke had no idea, Lexa always remained closed off, and she kept everything to herself. Of course, this place triggered the fresh memories still burned in Lexa’s mind.
“Lexa.” Clarke cupped Lexa’s face. “I am so sorry Costia hurt you so much. If I could go back in time, I’d stop you from dating her. But I can’t.” Clarke started to pepper kisses on her cheek and forehead. “I wished I could have protected you from all that pain. But you have me Lex, let me help you forget.”
Lexa looked into the deep blue eyes, the sincerity, the openness of her stare was a safe harbor. It was home to her.
Clarke was safety and comfort. Clarke was love and happiness. Clarke was her angel fallen from the sky.
“I need you.”
Lexa whispered and closed the distance between them. Her lips touching Clarke’s softly, tenderly.
Clarke was shocked at the contact but it felt right, perfect. Clarke closed her eyes and kissed her back opening for her friend, feeling the mixture of rum in Lexa’s mouth and her coconut chapstick. Giving herself to this moment of need for human contact, the need to feel loved and cared for. There were no fireworks or mental explosions, but there was something else brewing in the pit of her stomach, the way her heart beat intensified as Lexa cupped her face to deepen the kiss.
Lexa was clearly on the verge of drunkenness though Lexa wasn’t herself right now, and she was too vulnerable. Better stop things before they regretted anything. Clarke was the first to break the contact and leaned her forehead on Lexa’s. How weird that she felt empty now that she wasn’t kissing the brunette.
“Clarke…”
“Shh.” Clarke heard the pain in her voice, the need in her calling, but Lexa had to clear her mind for now. She had to come to terms with her current emotions. Clarke would do anything for Lexa, if a kiss helped her so be it. She was her friend after all.
“Let’s go to bed.”
Clarke cuddled Lexa until her breathing evened out, and she thought for some time before Morpheus trapped her in the dream world, why the term ‘friend’ didn’t fit Lexa anymore.