1. I Don’t Know What’s Going On
Aside from the fact that my overdraft is not actually my money (that was a hard old lesson to learn), it’s utterly disturbing how little I know about real life. One of the most frustrating things I’ve encountered is recognising and dealing with the limitations of my own experience and intelligence. On the bright side, this is when you can ask mentors/random-but-wise-looking old people for advice and guidance. Or your dad’s accountant can do your taxes. Whatever works.
2. Your Comfort Level Isn’t Negotiable
After moving 4 times in my three years of college, what truly resonated is you get what you pay for. You can’t go from having a slew of amenities to none, or even settle for a smaller room. You’ll hate yourself and everything around you, and it’s not worth it. Your surroundings need to be clean and comfortable for your head to feel the same.
3. Alcohol and Mixers Have A Lot Of Calories
Get used to drinking stuff with water. It’s easier than you think and your thighs will thank you, which leads me to my next point..
4. “We Accept The Love We Think We Deserve”
As cheesy as the line is, it unfortunately makes a great deal of sense. And it’s regrettable that my type is “raging fuckwit,” but some things are out of our control.
5. No One Really Hates You
Okay fine, maybe they say they do, but it takes effort for them to go out of their way to screw you over. There are few characters that vindictive or who have that much free time on their hands. It boils down to this: hatred is exhausting and everyone has to deal with their own concerns. They couldn’t care less about yours.
6. Koka And Super Noodles Are Delicious.
So very bad for you but fantastic comfort food and cheaper than chips. Get off your high horse.
7. Perception Is A Cruel Mistress
To quote my favorite author, K.S. Anthony: “People tell the world whatever stories they need to in order to preserve the stories they tell themselves about themselves.” It’s a knee-jerk reaction we implement out of necessity for our own dwindling sanity. Just bear that in mind and be kind to others who do it in spades.
8. The Internet Is A Terrifying Place
Every time I look at twitter, I shudder, because there’s another neo-prep wannabe taking photos of themselves gazing wistfully towards the water. On the other hand, I’ve made more friends than I care to admit through its various platforms, and it’s wonderful meeting people from all walks of life who share similar tastes or senses of humor. You’re all #blessings.
9. The Rule of Return
Everyone comes back. Whether it’s a month, three months, or two years later, it’s a cyclical pattern of dating abuse exacerbated through texting or Facebook messaging.
Delete and block when you can.
10. Save Your Money
Your wants and needs are going to change with every year. Buy the stuff that’s “missing” in your life, but remember that you can’t build a house out of empty beer bottles, regret and Jack Wills hoodies.
11. Relationships Do Change People
It’s a truth that you must accept. Your friends won’t want to change and they say everything will stay the same but in reality, they have found someone that they love hanging out with and they get to have sex with – which trumps you. It’s okay though, because your time will come and when it does, you’ll understand the world in a very different way.
12. Your Family Is On Your Side
There’s absolutely no use arguing with them. Either take their sage advice or don’t, but accept that they have an older set of your genetic makeup and have probably dealt with the same, if not similar, troubles you’re going through. You also don’t want to be the problem child who doesn’t end up with the good silver.
13. There Are No White Knights
You are not a prince or princess. No one has the time, energy, or empathy to come rescue you from your ivory tower made out of pizza boxes. Get a grip and be someone that can get what they want and fight their own battles.
14. Recognize What Makes You Happy
And if you’re not, leave. You (most likely) don’t have a bastard child and no one is financially dependent on you. The only thing that’s stopping you are your inhibitions and fear of failure, and failure is such a vague term defined by a society that still wears pleats. Change the course, go travelling and don’t use the excuse that you have no money – work all the hours that God gives washing dishes if you have to – there are no excuses.
15. Acceptance Can Be A Good Thing
It will come at a moment you least expect it, like sitting in a random pub on a Tuesday afternoon, thinking that this is exactly where you want to be and then seeing a group of 19 year old, hammered, playing cards and doing shots. You’ll realise at some point that you want more for yourself then sleeping in all day and eating crap that makes you feel like shit and that’s okay. It can be hard to swallow, but understanding that you’re not your 19 year old self anymore can be liberating too. It’s not a bad thing, you just changed without even noticing it.
16. You Need A Job
“Chase your dreams” and all those trite remarks made by guidance counselors paid to say them, but at the end of the day you’re going to need that health insurance for when your liver fails after all the drinking that took place while you were chasing them. If you can’t get your dream job (yet) then get any job that gives you money and keep moving forward. Just because you’re washing dishes doesn’t mean your goals have to change.
17. You Are Not Immortal
There’s a fine line between going overboard and not waking up. Know your limits.
18. Everyone Has Ulterior Motives
Identify and recognise what they are. It’s not evil; it’s human nature.
19. Know What You Want And Go For It
The main problem here is, lots of people can’t actually define what they want. Write it down, separate it into sections; man/woman, house, job, body, salary and then prepare yourself to work in each area to achieve your goals. And remember, if you want something you’ve never had, you’ll have to do something you’ve never done.
20. Invest in Key Pieces
Building a wardrobe takes time and money. Buy the best and most versatile you can afford and treat them with the respect you no longer have for yourself because you’ve eaten nothing but Subway and yogurt for the past two weeks.
21. Your ‘Personal Brand’ Unfortunately Isn’t Just A Marketing Buzz Word
Personal brands are strategy, not reality. Everyone has their own reasons for posting socially–whether they’re making money through affiliate purchasing programs, want to remain competitive in their field and make themselves more attractive to competing companies or brands, or they have a lifestyle image to uphold. Don’t believe everything you see on Instagram or read on Twitter.
22. In Sickness and Health – The Inevitable Will Happen
Don’t worry about what’s going to happen to the people you love, but accept that there will be a day that you get the random phone call telling you some bad news. It will happen, to all of us, and I can promise you – you’ll surprise yourself at how strong you’ll be when it does.
23. The Only Thing You Can Really Trust Is Change
Don’t get too comfortable – in anything. You might not love that person forever, you could potentially lose your job or be transferred to another country. Things are going to change in every aspect of your life and the sooner you realise that, the safer you’ll feel.
24. You’ll Never Have As Big Of An Opportunity To Change The Way You Look As You Do Right Now
Don’t put it off, because you’ll never be as young as you are today, to quote the Sunscreen song ‘You’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now, how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked’
Get out and exercise because once you turn 25… It’s 4 times as hard to get into shape. Trust me.
25. It’s Okay To Sometimes Throw In The Towel
Also, thanks to the Internet, people read far less than they’ll readily admit. So, congratulations on getting this far.
H/T PostGradProblems