Research Paper By Melanie Alexander
(Life Coach, CANADA)
Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense. – Buddha
We are unique, we are different from one another and we are always growing and changing. Seeking our authenticity and explanations in life is an individual journey, so why is there a growing fad to generalize how to achieve life balance, life satisfaction and happiness?
We have all heard it, “work/life balance” or “life balance”, it is an interesting concept. What is it really? According to the dictionary, balance means, “an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady; or a condition in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions.” It is easy to visualize gymnasts walking on balance beams and if they are not perfectly balanced from left to right they fall down. The theory of balance in that sense is simple to understand, but what about life balance? If we aren’t balanced do we fall off the balance beam of life?
In reality, in all areas of life we all wish that we were in perfect harmony and everything was going smoothly and perfectly, but that is definitely not always the case. We sometimes get off balance. We find ourselves focusing really hard on work and letting things slide in our physical health or we focus really hard on our marriage and our social life is forgotten. So what is this balance thing? What is life balance? Many scholars, psychologists and many others have been studying this idea, writing books and articles on it. Maybe there are too many insights and views, but why not one more? Let’s take it one step further though. First, let’s look at a few personal definitions of life balance:
“That sweet spot where you get everything done, maintain healthy relationships, a healthy mind and body, and you’re still able to sip (not chug) your morning coffee.” – Sarah Jacobs, cofounder of The Wellness Project NYC[1]
“You have to be able to afford the lifestyle you want and have the time to enjoy it, as well.” – Jason Weberman, dating and relationship expert[2]
“No person, no place, and nothing has any power over us, for 'we' are the only thinkers in our mind. When we create peace and harmony and balance in our minds, we will find it in our lives.” – Louise L. Hay
“Satisfaction with one’s entire life”[3]
Balance in life as stated by many people can be summed up in one simple phrase – it is different for everyone! Tada! We can now all find balance and live happily ever after! Not really, this just makes things even more confusing now, doesn’t it?
Regardless of individual definitions of life balance we still share 5 general areas of life that are the same for each of us. These can support us in seeking what life balance means for us as unique individuals.
The 5 distinct areas of life:
Professional: Career, purpose, calling
Financial: Literacy, budget, planning
Social: Family, community, relationships, friends
Personal: Emotional, character, spiritual, growth
Physical Health: Food, exercise, sleep, water
If life balance is unique to each of us, but the different areas of life are consistent across the board then doesn’t it make sense to define and proportion each of these areas to us as individuals to understand where our energy and focus should go? Wouldn’t that be the answer to personal life balance? Wouldn’t we then live boldly authentic to who we are?
According to Mindful Strategies,
Life balance is about feeling that we have our own freedom balanced with the discipline required to meet the demands and obligations we are facing.[4]
Ultimately achieving our unique life balance and living a fulfilling life first requires us to understand our own freedom and live authentically to who we are, different from those around us. With this, we are still all collectively part of the 5 areas of life and meeting the many demands of society in conjunction with finding the correct proportions of these areas. Finally we can balance the two and implement those proportions into our lives.
It is easy to say that once we figure out the unique proportions of each area of life and define our life balance that we will be set for a lifetime. This is not the case, we are living human beings, always changing, growing, and moving through different life stages. If we look at the idea of life balance in relation to the scientific term Homeostasis we can gain a unique perspective. “The study of homeostasis reveals that balance within living systems is not peaceful, nor quiet, is filled with change, but does harmonize the interior environment with the exterior environment…Living systems (organisms, ecosystems) are self-regulating. Living organisms regulate their internal conditions to balance their interiors with their exterior environments”[5]
Homeostasis in living systems is similar to that of individuals seeking life balance. Our environments are consistently changing and so are our interior emotions, bodies and personal growth so we are always going to be adjusting one area to find the balance in another. While finding the balance of these different areas, we become aware of how intricately connected each area actually is. For example, Joe is a 25 year old working individual who is moving into a house with his fiancé. He has been set in his ways for many years and has developed a routine that he enjoys in his current home. Once he moves into the house with his fiancé, Rebecca, he will need to adjust and re-evaluate his routine and his lifestyle to find that balance again. He will have to modify his finances, social life, habits and more. This is the same for each individual in many different scenarios and situations. When one separate area changes, progresses or is modified, all the other areas are altered as well, indicating the delicate balance between each intricately connected piece of the puzzle we call life.
Essentially with life balance we are trying to find the equilibrium of our unique self with the world around us and ultimately meet a collective goal that we all strive to achieve – living a life full of happiness.
What next? How do we do this?
We’ve covered what balance is, what life balance is, what the 5 areas of life are and how science relates to balance but why does this all matter? Why is it crucial to focus on all areas of life from a unique individual view to gain our personal perspective on life balance? Is it really crucial? And if so, how is that even possible in our hectic schedules to focus on so many areas of life to gain a glimpse of this balance?
First let’s look at the negative. If we neglect to focus on all the areas of life and are unbalanced then according to research this neglect could result in the following:
Weight gain[6]
Depression[7]
Lack of concentration, irritability and headaches[8]
Angst and Burnout[9]
These are just some of the effects of lack of life balance. Some additional effects could be, poor relationships with family and loved ones, lack of time to prepare healthy meals resulting in nutrient deficient diets, unnecessary or over spending, addictions of all kinds and many more. Yet, on the opposite side, if we achieve a balanced life then the negatives must turn to positives right? So the question becomes, if we don’t want to experience the negative effects of an unbalanced life but we want to live balanced, healthy lives how do we obtain that when we still have so many demands in life?
We can start by asking, answering, implementing, re-evaluating when necessary and revising the outcomes to the following questions:
Am I living in alignment with who I truly am?
Do I know who I am and who I want to become?
What does my ideal life look like in all areas? Professional, Financial, Social, Personal, Physical Health.
What is my belief of what these areas should look like for me?
Do I value all areas equally or does my balance only involve some areas and not others?
Which areas are connected? Which areas are on their own?
If areas are connected, how can they support each other?
What does balance really look like for me?
Is my internal experience balanced with my external environment?
Where am I off balance? What can I do to find balance again?
What structures do I have to put in place to find my equilibrium?
A fulfilling life is not about striving for perfect balance at all times in all areas of life. It is remembering to be aware of all the areas of life in individual activities that we perform on a daily basis. This will result in an ongoing journey with inevitable ups and downs that will bring us true fulfillment. Not every day of life will be perfect, but with the awareness and consistent reminder of the questions above we can maintain a level of balance and fulfillment that can last a lifetime. For example, when you work so hard day in and day out, remember to be aware of your physical health and ask yourself, am I taking the breaks I need to prevent burn out, am I drinking enough water and eating enough? Or should I be checking in on the kids or seeing how my friends are doing? Or when am I going to get in some personal development and is doing this work helping me financially? We all get laser focused and begin to neglect other areas at times. It is time to build awareness, seek the equilibrium that will bring ease of mind and balance to our lives which ultimately will lead to a better life.
You can read article after article, or book after book, go to seminars and conferences to help you figure out how to find happiness and fulfillment in your life but at the end of the day it comes down to you. Standing strong in your authenticity and figuring it out for yourself, and then implementing it. Making adjustments along the way to make way for growth and change. Life is a journey, a journey of balance and imbalance but before we get too far off track we can bring ourselves back to our happy equilibrium that is unique to each of us.
There is no perfect, one size fits all, balance that you should be striving for. The best life balance is different for each of us because we all have different priorities and different lives.[10]
Sources
[1] Newman, Kira M. TechCo. N.p., 16 Apr. 2014. Web. 14 May 2015.
[2] Newman, Kira M. TechCo. N.p., 16 Apr. 2014. Web. 14 May 2015.
[3] Meenakshi, S.Pattu, Venkata Subrahmanyam C.V, and Dr. K Ravichandran. academia.edu. www.iosrjournals.org, Dec. 2013. Web. 14 May 2015.
[4] Mindful Strategies. N.p., n.d. Web. 14 May 2015.
[5] Morning Earth - All Lives Seek Balance: Homeostasis. N.p., n.d. Web. 13 May 2015.
[6] Meenakshi, S.Pattu, Venkata Subrahmanyam C.V, and Dr. K Ravichandran. academia.edu. www.iosrjournals.org, Dec. 2013. Web. 14 May 2015.
[7] Meenakshi, S.Pattu, Venkata Subrahmanyam C.V, and Dr. K Ravichandran. academia.edu. www.iosrjournals.org, Dec. 2013. Web. 14 May 2015.
[8] Corringan, Lori. Houston Chronicle. N.p., n.d. Web. 13 May 2015. <http://work.chron.com/effects-work-life-imbalance-5967.html>
[9] Corringan, Lori. Houston Chronicle. N.p., n.d. Web. 13 May 2015. <http://work.chron.com/effects-work-life-imbalance-5967.html>
[10] Meenakshi, S.Pattu, Venkata Subrahmanyam C.V, and Dr. K Ravichandran. academia.edu. www.iosrjournals.org, Dec. 2013. Web. 14 May 2015.