So last night I started thinking about Youtuber!Klaine AUs and ended up writing out a huge idea for it in a post. Today I wrote that. It took me hours when I thought it would just be a quick drabble, so I really hope you like it! (I’m also not proofreading it so I’m sorry for any mistakes! I need to lay down now, haha)
Summary: Kurt gets popular on Youtube for a “It Gets Better” video. Blaine is popular for his covers. Kurt is out. Blaine is not. 8,500 words.
It Gets Better Really Happens uploaded by kurtehum
Published on September 20, 2012
1,238,380 views
“[Kurt sits in front of the camera, with a brick wall background. He takes a deep breath] I can’t believe how lucky I am right now. Growing up in a small town in Ohio, which was just so conservative and god even the parents of my bullies hated me and who I was, I never thought that it would get better. I always saw those Youtube videos about older people in the LGBTQIA community talking about the It Gets Better campaign and I just….never believed it, really. I had more bullies than friends in high school. Glee club was my only safe place and even then….performing didn’t end up being the escape I needed to get out of that town so I just - I took the chance and came out to New York City on my own with no plan. It’s been two weeks now and somehow - somehow I’m making it? [laughs] I got an internship at vogue dot com and it’s - it’s a whole new world for me and it’s amazing. My boss is probably the single most amazing person in the world and - now I can’t believe it but I’m making one of those videos I hated in high school because I thought it would never happen to me. [he reaches up and wipes away a few tears] Because I’m here in a city that accepts me for who I am and I’m actually thriving and I know I have so much more to do, but right now - I’m not in my little homophobic town anymore getting beat up by people who hate me just because I love who I love. Or well, hypothetically, because I still haven’t had a boyfriend but you know, New York City. It’s full of possibilities. [laughs] So to anyone like me who is watching this from Ohio or Kentucky or Texas or - or anywhere where you don’t feel safe being yourself….it can get better. It really, really can. [smiles]”
Kurt had uploaded his first video less than a month ago and the reception was mind blowing. Somehow it made itself onto Tumblr and had all these people reblogging it and telling how much it touched them and then the Trevor Project Twitter tweeted about it and Kurt was just some 18 year old kid in a city of millions and over a million people had now viewed his video and it was almost scary to think about it like that.
He had so many messages from people thanking him and Kurt must have gone through three boxes of tissues with the touching stories he’s heard, from people like him, still in high school that have told him: “I can’t wait to be able to do what you’re doing. Thank you.”
Then other people ask him if he’s going to make new videos and Kurt isn’t really sure. I mean, what would he do?
He’s sitting in his pretty much empty apartment - it’s basically a broom closet to be honest, but at least it has running water - and gets an idea.
Decorating an Apartment on a Budget uploaded by kurtehum
October 21, 2012
309,039 views
“Um, so. I still can’t believe how many views my first video has gotten. It’s weird to know that many people have seen me talk, actually. And…a lot of people have asked me to make more videos and I have - no idea what you want to see. [laughs] But I guess I’ll start with - being myself. And I like to be creative and decorate and - I’m still living in a mostly empty apartment but I’ve gotten a few bucks from my part time job and my dad so I finally have some stuff to decorate this place with and make it my home. And maybe you’re trying to decorate your place now and don’t have my obviously far superior taste. [grins] I can help with that.”
Soon, Kurt starts trying to upload a video a week. He’s busy, because he has a part time job at a coffee shop and his internship with vogue dot com, but he finds that it’s really fun. People like his video and he’s already almost close to one million subscribers, weirdly enough. He starts watching more “Youtubers,” which isn’t something Kurt himself had ever done before, but he finds there is a lot of funny people on Youtube. He admires the beauty Youtubers, and honestly grabs some ideas from them.
He starts doing fashion hauls, when he actually starts getting money (actual money!) from advertisements on Youtube. Plus he gets some freebees from work, since he’s sort of Isabelle’s favorite. He even asks her if he could do a music video in the vogue closet, using her and his friend Rachel Berry. She’s going to NYADA in the city and even though they were in Glee club together in high school, they never clicked. She was loud and overbearing and….Kurt was shy, even under all his loud fashion choices.
Being in the city together has meant they hang out a bit more, however, and Kurt is finding that she’s just as scared as he is in this city all alone.
That video goes very well, actually. He can’t monetize it for copy right reasons, but it gets him a lot of views and new subscribers so he calls it a win. Everyone comments saying they love his voice. Well. Not everyone, but he’s used to some haters saying he sounds like a girl. If there is one thing high school gave him, it’s tough skin to deal with trolls on the internet.
After six months, Kurt can admit that he - he could make a living out of this Youtube thing. He has already made a lot of friends who do, and have been for years now. He decides to quit his part time job so he can focus on his internship and video schedule.
Kurt can’t believe how lucky he is.
ooooo
Blaine feels trapped.
He’s felt trapped most of his life. Since he’s realized he’s gay at thirteen and wimped out on coming out.
To be honest, if the only two gay boys you’ve ever seen were put into the hospital after going to a dance together.
Blaine had been thinking about coming out right before the dance, but he was just - he was nervous. He wanted to tell his family first before school anyway, and Cooper would be visiting in a month so he decided to wait. Then the dance came and Blaine just went alone and he saw Andrew there dancing with a guy he didn’t know.
Andrew was a guy that had come out last month. The only out kid in their high school. Apparently the guy he was with was a friend from the private school in town, also gay. They were just friends, but they came together so of course, everyone hated that.
Blaine heard the next day that they were both in the hospital with broken ribs and busted lips after being beat up by the football team.
That had essentially locked Blaine’s closet out of fear.
After a few years of hiding, Blaine had gotten pretty used to it. He just kept…putting if off. Maybe the next year he’d be able to come out. Or the year after that. But his school never got more accepting. So Blaine had sort of accepted that this is how life would be until he could - get out of Ohio?
Blaine stayed inside a lot. He watched Youtube everyday, following his favorite vloggers. Then the summer right before his senior year, he decided that maybe he’d try to make some videos himself.
He’d probably uploaded five or so videos - which had maybe thirty views each - before he finally hit it big.
He was mostly doing covers of songs in his room. The video that finally made his channel was a cover of “Teenage Dream.”
Teenage Dream Cover uploaded by blaineee
June 23, 2012
1,603,938 views
Somehow, Katy Perry got a hold of it and tweet about it and well. That was that. He had a million views overnight. His other videos had more people watching them too and god he had subscribers coming out of his ears.
He still made cover videos, but he knew he couldn’t really make any money off those. That wasn’t Blaine’s goal at all, but there were so many people who made a living and - maybe he could too? He wanted to be a performer one day. He wanted to go to New York and be on Broadway and this could maybe be a stepping stone to that?
So he went to the drawing board. He started doing vlogs when he did something interesting: going to Columbus to see Wicked or when he went to LA to visit his brother.
When he got to LA he actually met up with a few of the Youtubers who lived there, which was crazy for him, because they were all actually famous level people at this point. They had millions of people subscribed to them - Blaine included.
When he showed up on their vlogs, it didn’t hurt his subscriber count. He even did some collabs - mostly Youtube challenges - and they were just so much fun to do. So along with his covers, Blaine started tackling the usual Youtube challenges that he could do by himself. He got requests to do Q&A videos as his subscriber count soared and well - things were ridiculously amazing.
Then he showed up on the Youtube scene in September.
Of course Blaine had seen kurtehum - or Kurt’s - “It Gets Better Really Does Happen” video. Pretty much everyone he was subscribed to had tweeted about it or mentioned it in their own video: whatthebuckshow, Tyler Oakley and the like.
Blaine had probably watched the video a dozen times, alone in his room, and ends up crying.
He wishes he could be as confident this guy on the screen. He’s always been envious of the out Youtubers. He wishes he could be confident like them and brave enough to come out, especially on camera, but he’s still - he’s still so terrified.
It could have been him that night, beat up in the dark high school parking lot just because he dared to be different. If he had come out when he wanted to, he might have gone with Andrew that night. Andrew, who had transferred out of school and moved to Arizona to get away from his bullies.
Even though he knows he’s too much of a coward to do what Kurt has done - live in Ohio as an out teenager and then make it to New York - he subscribes to his channel and watches all his videos from that point.
Kurt subscribes to him too, which makes his heart jump out of his chest when he does.
They talk a bit after a few months. Blaine comments on his videos and Kurt starts doing the same and then Blaine gets a message from Kurt:
“Oh wow! You’re from Ohio? Small world. I lived like two hours outside of Westerville before I moved to New York. How funny is that?”
So they start exchanging messages. Kurt becomes just one of the several friends Blaine has made through Youtube and he can barely believe it.
They talk about growing up in Ohio and how Blaine has been accepted to NYADA for the fall and is moving to New York and Kurt says that he’ll show him the city and his friend Rachel (which Blaine knows through Kurt’s vlogs) will show him the school, since she’s been there for the last year.
That summer, before moving to New York, Blaine goes to his first Vidcon.
He meets all his friends there, including a couple from overseas.
More importantly, he meets Kurt on the first day.
Kurt’s hanging out with a few of the beauty vloggers - Zoe Sugg, Ingrid, Tayna Burr - and Blaine meets up with them plus some of the “guys of Youtube” including Zoe and Tayna’s boyfriends and they all have lunch together. They hug when they meet - there’s a lot of hugging going on this week since not everyone gets to see each other everyday - and Blaine feels his whole body go numb at the contact.
“It’s so funny that you’re both from Ohio, though,” laughs Tyler Oakley once they’ve all sat down for lunch (at a huge table). “And I’m from Michigan! Youtubers must be regional or something.”
“We won’t hold the Michigan thing against you,” says Blaine. “Well, too much, right Kurt?”
“God, you’re like my step-brother. You’re obsessed with that football rivalry, aren’t you?” Kurt rolls his eyes.
Blaine holds up his hands in surrender. “Sorry, I can’t help it.”
“Oh god, straight boys, I could eat you up!” Tyler laughs. Then he turns to talk to Zoe and Blaine feels his face heat up because….
Even here, with some of his best friends, he can’t be himself. So many of the people at this table are gay or gay friendly, so why can’t he just - come out and say it?
Vidcon Vlog Day 1: SO MANY FRIENDS! uploaded by blaineee
July 23, 2013
209,029 views
“[camera is on Blaine, darkly lit] Oh my god I don’t know if you can hear me we’re in a very loud restaurant but look! I’m here with everyone! [he turns the camera to show other people vlogging to their own cameras] Look! It’s Tyler! [Tyler: Oh hey boo.] [Blaine laughs nervously] And Kurt! Say hi! [Kurt rolls his eyes and waves] I can’t tell you guys how amazing this is and it’s only the first day wow.”
Blaine would love to have some time to chat with Kurt alone, but it’s sort of impossible at an event like Vidcon. Everyone has different panels to speak at or their own meet and greets. Blaine performs a few songs at one himself. Plus everyone is trying to do as many collabs as they can manage and keep up to date on editing vlogs and uploading so everyone who wasn’t at Vidcon could keep up on what was happening.
They did exchange actual phone numbers at some point though. “For when you move to New York!” says Kurt with excitement. “When are you coming out again?”
“Uh, at the end of August. That’s when the dorms open up.”
“Ugh, the dorms. Rachel hated them. She ended up moving in with me and we got a bigger place together last month,” says Kurt.
“Yeah, I know, you vlogged about it remember?” laughs Blaine. “And at least I got a single room. My parents didn’t want me to get an apartment until at least a semester in.”
“Oh! Sorry. I’m not used to - it’s weird to think that everyone here sort of knows my day to day life, you know?”
“No, I understand.”
“I hope you do more vlogs when you move to the city,” says Kurt. “They’re always funny.”
Blaine feels like he might faint. “Thanks. Uh, yeah. I think New York will be a more interesting backdrop than Westerville, so I have been promising more. I’ve already been doing a lot of updates on my packing. After Vidcon I’ll really be doing a lot of stuff, I think.”
“That’s awesome!”
Tanya comes over then and pulls Kurt away. She had roped Kurt into doing a collab where instead of “My Boyfriend does my make up” it’s just “Guy Friend does my make up” and Blaine honestly can’t wait to see if Kurt does well or not.
He signs, watching Kurt disappear into the hotel - he’s by the pool with a lot of the other Youtubers now - and turns to run and jump into the pool, splashing Joe and Tyler (who yelps and threatens to murder him).
ooooo
Even though he’s gay, Kurt ends up being awful at putting on make up. He had watched the girls do it in Glee club before performances, so he really thought he’d at least be decent at it, but it does end up looking quite strange. Tanya’s eyeliner is a disaster and her cheeks are much too pink, but it does make for a funny video. Then they film the five second challenge for Kurt’s channel and pretty much fall over on the hotel bed they’re sitting on laughing so hard.
The Five Second Challenge collab with Tany Burr! uploaded by kurtehum
July 30, 2013
470,900 views
“[Kurt and Tanya sit on the edge of a hotel bed] Hi everyone! Kurt here with the one and only Tanya Burr! [Tanya: Hello everyone!] I just have to say that you’re probably one of the nicest people I’ve met so far here, Tanya. [Tanya: Oh my god you’re so sweet.] Plus your accent is adorable! Now right now we’re actually at Vidcon but I’ll probably be uploading this after I get home for you all. But today we’re going to be doing the five second challenge! [Tanya: I’m so excited!] Me too!”
/footage cuts/
Tanya: Okay you have five seconds to….run out into the hall and try to bring whatever Youtuber might be in the hall in here! Go!
[Kurt flies off the bed and out of frame. The door opens as Tanya counts down. Kurt returns after Tanya has already finished counting down, pulling Blaine into frame]
Blaine: What is going on?
Kurt: I lost!
Tanya: I can’t believe anyone was out there at all!
Kurt: Well, Blaine wave - you’re on my channel. This is Blaine! You must know him. If you haven’t you have to listen to his covers. I’ll leave his link in the description!
Blaine: Aww, you’re sweet.
Kurt: Okay we have to finish our video now. Bye!
[Blaine acts hurt, but leaves, waving to the camera]
Kurt hasn’t had this much fun in - well. He can’t even remember. The Youtube community has really welcomed him in the last year. There are people like Tyler who are out and embarrassingly enough hit on him in front of everyone (including the camera, god, the amount of “Turt” or “Kyler” gifs that will be on Tumblr after this will probably be ridiculous) and everyone else who isn’t gay but supports him….it’s foreign for him. Even though New York has been wonderful, being around people his own age that treat him like everyone else is - is wonderful.
And this is basically the first time he’s met anyone and they already make him feel more human than anyone who he went to school with at McKinley. Maybe even more than the New Directions, though he still loves them to death.
The only thing about Vidcon is that it’s exhausting. The bags under his eyes are ridiculous, which doesn’t make all the selfies he’s taking with people look good.
That’s another thing. The fans.
Weird.
He gets that people are fans of him. The number of his subscribers tell him that. Their amazing tweets and comments tell him that too. But seeing people in front of him with wide eyes and asking him if they can take a picture with him and get something signed is different, more real, than just seeing a number on a screen. He’s gotten recognized when he’s in the city a few times, but that’s usually one or two people at a time and the first time it happened Kurt thought they were kidding. Then he got his vlog camera out and basically wanted to hug the girl who’d come up to him and never let go.
Here it’s loads of people. Whole groups. He doesn’t have any official meet and greet at Vidcon, he’s honestly not that big of a name, but he does plan something through twitter and meets people for two hours at a park nearby and it’s a bit emotionally draining, but amazing.
He’s also going to have to get a new suitcase to transport all the gifts people gave him, what even?
Vidcon Vlog day 3: Meet and Greet! uploaded by kurtehum
July 25, 2013
207,389 views
“[camera turns to line of people] Look at all these fashionable people! Say hi! [crowd screams and waves; Kurt laughs off camera] This is so cool, oh my god. [sped up video of meeting people in line, then cut to Kurt alone in a hotel bed] Oh my god. I’m so tired but wow, was that amazing. I actually have a moment alone which I don’t think has happened since I got off my plane three days ago but I just - I really wanted to take a second to thank you all. Not just for today and really, you didn’t have to give me all the gifts that you did, but I promise to find a place in my apartment for them all! But I wanted to thank you for…. [Kurt gets choked up] for changing my life. A year ago I was in Lima hating myself because I didn’t think I’d ever leave that small town. I hadn’t been accepted to the college I wanted to go to and I just - I felt useless. And I know a lot of you know how that feels because I see your tweets and your comments and I just want to tell you again and again that you all matter. You matter to me because you make what crazy things I’ve been doing the last few days possible. I mean - I can’t even believe it. I’m surrounded by some of my best friends now who understand me and accept me for who I am and I can’t tell you how happy that makes me. How happy you all make me. I feel your impact everyday. Sometimes this, talking to a camera, is the only thing that gets me out of bed. [Kurt wipes away a few tears; then he laughs] And oh god, I was going to save this surprise until after Vidcon but - I just can’t wait. I got a full time position at Vogue dot com! I’m not longer a lonely intern getting coffee! And I just - I want everyone watching this who thinks things are awful and hopeless, like I did last summer, I want you to know that you can turn things around for yourself and achieve your dreams. Anything is possible. [Kurt laughs, still crying.] Okay, enough of this. I’m going to try to make it look like I wasn’t just crying and edit a bit, then go and find some lunch. Bye!”
Vidcon finally ends and Kurt is looking forward to his own bed, but it’s going to be another few days before he gets that luxury. He’s going to stop back home before he goes on to New York to visit his dad and Carole.
Weirdly enough, he and Blaine have the same flight.
“This is so weird,” says Blaine, bouncing excitedly in his seat. They had asked the woman who originally had where Kurt was sitting if she’d mine trading so him and Blaine could sit next to each other. She hadn’t minded at all.
“Very,” says Kurt, laughing. “Smile for the camera.” Blaine grins as Kurt turns on his vlogging camera. “I’m currently on a plane to Ohio with Blaine. We’re running off what I can only assume is some kind of drug they spiked the water at Vidcon with because I don’t know how he can be this chipper. I’m ready to fall over after the last few days.”
“As soon as we get into the air I’ll crash, I know it,” says Blaine. He is pulling out his own camera and points it to Kurt. “Look! Double vlogging!” he laughs.
Kurt turns his camera back toward himself. “And since Blaine’s hometown and my hometown are only two hours away from each other we’re going to try to meet up and do a collab before I go back to New York after visiting my dad. If we don’t, though, have no fear, because Blaine will soon be in the big apple with me! Finally, not every Youtuber will move to the west coast!”
When they take off Kurt takes a few videos out the window and of himself editing his latest vlog on his laptop. Kurt looks over to Blaine after about thirty minutes and tries to stifle a laugh when he sees that his laptop is open in front of him on the tray, his headphones in, but he’s fast asleep, leaning away from Kurt.
Yeah, he records that for the vlog too.
“Looks like someone really did crash,” says Kurt in a whisper.
When they land in Columbus, they walk to the baggage claim together - then Kurt hears his name called above the crowd.
He runs toward his dad, hugging him close. He hasn’t seem him since he came home around March and he’s missed him.
(He sees that Blaine recorded that moment when he goes to watch his vlog the next day, a caption on the screen reading: kurtehum has the /best/ dad you guys!)
Kurt introduces his dad and Carole to Blaine. “Ah, one of the other kids who talk to a camera for a living, hey kid,” says Burt, shaking his hand.
“Dad!” says Kurt, rolling his eyes.
“I don’t know if I’m to that point yet,” laughs Blaine. “I mean, I’m still going to school.”
“That’s good. Youtube might not be around forever, you know.”
“Oh, I definitely know,” says Blaine.
“Your parents picking you up, kid?” asks Burt.
“Uh, no I’m getting a shuttle back to Westerville, sir.”
“That won’t do! Come on, kid, let’s get your bags and we’ll drive you.”
“Sir I couldn’t -”
“Westerville is on the way, it will be fine.”
So Blaine follows Kurt to where Burt and Carole have parked after they get their bags, his camera out. “So Kurt’s dad really is awesome and he’s driving me home! How cool is that?”
“You won’t say that when you hear the kind of music he plays, Blaine,” says Kurt dryly to his camera.
ooooo
Kurt comes back from Lima and stops in Westerville before going to the Columbus airport to catch a flight back to New York four days later. It’s weird having Kurt in his house, his room, as they prepare for their collab.
They had decided that they should sing for Blaine’s video.
Blaine is nervous, as he shows him around. “And here’s where the magic happens!” Blaine says, gesturing to the music room.
It used to be Cooper’s room, but after he moved out his mom let him turn it into a music room. There is a piano, guitar, violin and some audio equipment that Blaine has been getting better on lately if he needs a different sound.
They decide to sing “It’s Time” and turn it into a duet, slowed down with Blaine playing the piano. They end up filming the full thing three different times, from various angles. That takes up a lot of time, plus they end up goofing off a lot, so they don’t end up getting to film the other video they had in mind for Kurt’s channel.
“That’s okay! In a month you’ll be in New York and we can film a million collabs,” says Kurt, getting all his stuff ready to finish his journey down to the airport. “This was really fun. I hope the video turns out good.”
“Are you kidding? You sound amazing!” says Blaine. “I always like the videos when you sing.”
“Well, thank you,” says Kurt, preening. “Anyway, I’ll see you in the city! You have to text me, okay?”
“Okay,” says Blaine, nodding. They hug and Blaine waves to him as the taxi picks him up in front of his house. He sighs when he goes back into the house, falling onto his bed to watch the footage he’s uploaded of their filming today.
God, he really loves Kurt.
It terrifies him.
He tells himself things will get better once he’s in New York, far away from Ohio and his parents who, Blaine isn’t sure would care if he came out to them. He’s also afraid they’ll care too much.
It’s Time Cover with kurtehum uploaded by blaineee
August 4, 2013
509,987 views
“[Kurt and Blaine sit at the piano] Hey guys! I’m here with Kurt, who I obviously haven’t seen in such a long time. [Kurt: Yeah, four days is a life time isn’t it?] [Blaine laughs] Well he’s catching a plane back to New York in a few hours but he stopped by my place and we’re going to do a collab today! We hope you like it.”
Twitter (8)
@ angley304 @ blaineee’s new video was AMAZING. He just keeps getting better!
@ taytay the heart eyes between @ blaineee and @ kurtehum though I’m in love
@ jamieee god I can’t wait till @ blaineee is in nyc and we get videos of their vlogs together all the time!
When Blaine moves out to New York, he already feels better. There is so much life here. Plus he saw a couple, two guys, reunite in the airport lobby after he landed with a passionate kiss and no one really did anything. Barely blinked.
He wasn’t in Ohio anymore.
He got a taxi to his dorm, his three large suitcases in the trunk. He was having his family send a few boxes of his other things after him to decorate the space. Once he got to his dorm and unpacked a few things, he texted Kurt letting him know he was officially there. They arranged to meet for dinner.
Moving Vlog! First day in New York uploaded by blaineee
August 25, 2013
235,398 views
“[busy NYC street, camera on Blaine as he walks] Hey guys! So I’m now on my way to the restaurant Kurt told me to meet him at. He insists that I didn’t need to get a taxi to get there so I’m trying to be a New Yorker and walk. Excuse me if I get out of breath. [he laughs] I already can’t believe today so far. I got a lot of stuff done at my dorm. It’s so weird to have such a small space all of the sudden. And don’t worry, I’ll still be doing covers but I’ll probably have to do electronic tracks for a while until I can find a piano on campus to film with or something. [video cuts to Blaine in a restaurant, camera on Kurt eating] Look who it is! [Kurt: Blaine no, oh my god, no filming me when I’m actually eating!] You can see we’re already getting along famously. [Blaine laughs] [Kurt: God they’re going to get annoyed with the double vlogging thing one day. I just put my camera down and Blaine picked his up.] Hey people like Zoe and Alfie get away with it! People love seeing two angles of the same day. I mean, why else would they watch 10 different vlogs from Vidcon that are mostly the same thing? [Kurt: True. Now turn off the camera so I can eat, Blaine!]”
Blaine starts classes and things get really busy quickly. He tries to stick to his video schedule while getting used to the work load at NYADA. He usually eats lunch with Rachel on campus, who thankfully is used to being filmed by Kurt by now and doesn’t mind him occasionally picking up his vlog camera when they’re together.
He spends a lot of his time when not in classes or in his dorm filming with Kurt now. The first two weekends Kurt takes him to all the tourist places. (It starts a video series on his channel called: Being a Tourist).
They finally do another collab, this time for Kurt’s channel. The first time at Kurt’s apartment is sort of mind blowing. He sees so much of it on camera that suddenly seeing it in person is just trippy. Did Kurt feel like this when he was at his house?
Blaine convinces Kurt do to do the “What’s in my mouth” challenge, which ends up being sort of terrifying and gross, but it’s funny too.
Blaine starts to notice that a lot of people “ship” him and Kurt together. It’s all over the comments when they’re in each other’s videos or vlogs and starts to show up on his Twitter notifications as well.
He tries to ignore it. It makes him - freak out, to be honest. Because…they don’t know how spot on they are. Blaine has never said outright what his sexuality is, but everyone has assumed he’s straight (like his friends at Vidcon) and that had been fine with Blaine. It was better than the alternative. But now - now people are saying things about him and Kurt and they just sort of think it’s funny, an online joke sort of. They know Kurt’s gay and he’s “straight” and it wouldn’t happen, but they still say it. Others adamantly swear that he is gay and god, he is, but they don’t know. He hasn’t told them but they still know. Blaine has tried to hide it for so long, but people still know or suspect and it feels so out of his control that he does try to ignore it completely.
It still haunts the back of his mind.
It’s nearly December and he and Kurt are sitting around Kurt’s apartment talking about the pros and cons of committing to Vlogmas. Kurt’s also running video ideas by him (”I want to do a baking video! That would be fun. Like Christmas cookies and stuff.”) and Blaine is sorting through his favorite Christmas songs to cover.
Then Kurt burst out laughing.
“What is it?” asks Blaine, looking up from his laptop. Kurt is looking at his, shaking his head.
“People are just - so - wow. You’ve seen the stuff about people on Tumblr shipping us, right?” Kurt says it so casually but Blaine feels his blood turn cold. He nods, unable to say anything. “I’m just checking the comments on my last vlog and god, they really like shipping anyone within ten feet of each other, don’t they? And look, they even have a ship name for us - Klaine - better than some of the other names I’ve seen I think.”
Blaine doesn’t realize he’s crying until Kurt suddenly stops talking and shifts, moving on the couch. “Blaine are you - oh my god - are you crying?”
Then Blaine can’t stop, once he realizes he is crying. He shuts his laptop and slides it away, burying his face in his hands and just sobbing.
He feels the weight of the couch shift next to him and Kurt is hugging him close and it makes Blaine cry harder and he just - it all comes out (quite literally).
“I’m gay.”
“What?” says Kurt, after a moment pause.
“I’m - I’m gay Kurt and oh god they’re right and how did they know? I’ve - I’ve hidden it for so long and I never thought anyone knew and I’m just - I’m scared.”
“Shh, it’s okay Blaine,” says Kurt, hugging him again. “Come on. Let it out.”
So Blaine cries into Kurt’s shoulder until he’s dry and then Kurt waits patiently for Blaine to calm down and he explains it all: the reason why he stayed in the closet for so long, the fear of being on display on Youtube and having people just assume he’s gay when he’s done so much to make people think the opposite and that the same time, wanting to be honest with who he is.
“I see you and - and Tyler and Hannah and so many others being honest with who they are and I wish I could be like that,” says Blaine. “Have the courage to lay myself out in front of people and not be afraid.”
“Blaine,” says Kurt. “You do this on your own terms. No one gets to decide when you come out of the closet. Even me - god I was obvious, I know I was - but I still came out at my own pace to my dad and my friends. And you are brave. You really are. Keeping this inside of you - it’s hard. I know it is. And you’ve been so brave, dealing with that all by yourself.”
“I don’t know - I don’t know how to tell people,” says Blaine. “But I want to. I want to be myself and I want….”
“What do you want, Blaine?”
“I want to be with the guy I like,” says Blaine.
“Oh,” says Kurt. He pauses.
“It’s - it’s you,” says Blaine softly.
Kurt stares at him for a moment. Then he leans in and kisses Blaine’s forehead. He smiles when he moves away. “We’ll file that away for when you’re less emotional.” Blaine smiles at him and god, does this feel good. He’s tired and his eyes hurt, but it’s the first time anyone has ever known the truth and it does feel good.
“Let’s order in,” says Kurt. “Rachel won’t be in for a while. Let’s get pizza.”
Over the next few weeks, a lot of things happen. Kurt is a constant pillar of support as he talks over coming out to the people in his life. He takes a week off from Youtube, posting a Tweet.
@ blaineee Hey guys. I’m going to be taking a few days to clear my head a bit. Then I’ll be starting up Vlogmas! I’m excited. Thanks for the support xxx
Kurt tells him he can do this as slow or fast as he wants to and Blaine believes him. But he’s had his whole life to be in the closet and just the last few days being out of it, at least with Kurt, has felt wonderful.
He tells his parents first, over the phone.
It doesn’t go well.
His dad isn’t talking to him and his mom is just confused. She tells him she will always love him but….Blaine knows it will take her a while.
He tells Cooper and it goes over better than he expected. “Oh Squirt, most of my friends out here in LA are gay! I’m totally fine with it. God, I feel dumb about sending you all those Playboys though. I can get you Playgirl if you want instead.” Blaine turns that offer down with a blush.
He slowly reaches out to other friends on Youtube. Tyler, Hannah, and other people he’s closest to from Vidcon. God, are they supportive. He doesn’t know why he was ever scared to tell them the truth. Tyler vows to throw him a party the next time he’s in LA. He tells Rachel, too, who has been a great friend as well.
Then there’s Kurt.
Well. They go out on a date a week after Blaine had come out to him and at first, he doesn’t really realize it’s a date. But neither one of them have gotten out their vlog cameras so far and Blaine realizes that there is reason for that. This is private. This is them.
They kiss that night when Kurt drops Blaine off at his dorm and it’s his first kiss with a guy and it feels like he is finally right. Yes, he’s gay. Of course he is. Why would he ever stop himself from being who he is and deny himself what makes him happy?
Vlogmas is a swirl of activity. He and Kurt are both posting a vlog everyday until Christmas, plus posting Christmas themed videos.
Blaine helps him film his baking video, since he sort of needs a cameraman for that. Blaine sings one Christmas song with Rachel and later in the month, one with Kurt singing “White Christmas.”
Blaine makes Kurt go ice skating with him, which makes for a hilarious vlog as Blaine holds his camera and tries to help Kurt skate at the same time.
Ice skating, hot chocolate and Christmas shopping! uploaded by blaineee
December 17, 2013
309,238 views
“[shakey video of Kurt on skates, getting closer to the camera] Kurt is angry at me because he can’t skate and I made him come with me. [Kurt: Kurt is angry because Blaine won’t put his camera down when Kurt is about to fall on his ass and doesn’t want two million people to see it happen.] [Blaine laughs] Come on, we’ll get some hot chocolate soon. [Kurt: Then we’re going shopping because someone still hasn’t gotten his Christmas shopping done yet.] Uh, I was waiting for you to help me?”
Vlogmas ends and Christmas day is here and Blaine didn’t go home because his dad still isn’t talking to him and he told his mother it would probably be best to stay in the city. Cooper is on location filming something and so Kurt invites Blaine over for Christmas at his apartment. Burt and Carole and Finn all came to Kurt this year, since his apartment is bigger this time around and Kurt insisted he wanted to host it.
They vlog that day too, but not as much as they usually do. The day after Christmas Blaine swears not to touch his camera for a few days, he’s so tired of editing, god.
He also vows to make his video coming out before the first of the year.
“Are you sure?” asks Kurt. “I want you to be sure.”
“I am,” says Blaine firmly. “The worst thing has already happened. My family…well. That’s happened and from here, it can’t really get worse. I know this community will support me.” He pauses. “I’m still scared shitless.” Kurt laughs.
The day he films the video, he’s like a squirrel stuck in a small room. He can’t stop moving. Kurt comes over to his dorm and before he puts on a pair of headphones, he kisses him softly and says he’ll be here if Blaine needs him.
Then Blaine sits down in front of his camera. It’s a simple set up: he’s just sitting in front of his wall, which has playbills from the last few months and other artwork that makes for an interesting video backdrop whenever he sits down to do something in his dorm room.
He pushes record and just - he starts talking when he can.
Being Honest, Being Me uploaded by blaineee
December 31, 2013
3,898,948 views
“[Blaine sits down, breathing out audibly. He looks at the camera, smiles nervously] Hi. I - god. Wow. This is happening. [He shakes his head] Okay I’m just going to - I’m just gonna - okay. I wanted to be honest with you all, my friends, and say: I’m gay. [He laughs, smile spreading over his face, a little teary] Oh wow. I said it. I said it. I’ve - I can count the amount of times I’ve said those words out loud on both hands and it feels so, so good to say. [Blaine takes a deep breath] I haven’t been honest with myself, with all of you, and my friends and family since I was thirteen years old and I knew I was gay. I wanted to come out then but - but then the only other gay guy, who was out, at my school took a friend, also a guy, to the dance and ended up in the hospital and I was terrified that would happen to me too so I hid who I was away for years. Now I feel the confidence to be who I really and tell everyone from the rooftops. It has’t been easy. It’s - [Blaine swallows hard; looks slightly out of frame of the camera] been really hard, actually. Before sitting down to this video, I’ve told people in my life. My friends and my - my family. [Blaine closes his eyes] My family….I’m not being spoken to, really. Not completely. And I think there might be some hope for that relationship one day but for now…it’s not great. My brother, god, he’s been great. You’ve seen him on this channel before. He loves me. And my friends who I’ve told - they’ve been so accepting and if they weren’t as amazing as they were, I don’t know if I could be here right now. They’ve done so much to inspire me on this journey to self acceptance. I’ve watched their videos long before I even started making my own and - they have meant the world to me. [Blaine smiles] And I think it’s really fitting that I’m making this on New Years Eve day because - I’m so, so excited to be looking into 2014 being out and proud and happy. I get to look into this coming year with my head held high and - and holding the hand of the boy I love. [Blaine smiles, huge, eyes crinkling]. God, I haven’t even said that to him. He’s in the room now but he has headphones on, out of respect to me when I record this. I might tell him before I put this video live. Maybe I’ll wait till he watches this back. But god, I love him. He’s one of the reasons - he gave me the courage to tell the truth. He told me I matter as I watched his videos and I will always be thankful that he was there, even before we met. [Blaine wipes away some tears] Okay. This - this is me, everyone. I’m still the same Blaine you knew before, but now I’m being honest with who I am. And to anyone - struggling, like I was, with your sexuality, I understand how hard it is. But I will tell you know that you’ll get there. It will be in your own time. Don’t let anyone force you into coming out before you’re ready. It’s your life. But I’ll tell you this: it feels amazing to be honest with yourself. [Blaine smiles] Okay. Now I’m going to edit this, upload it, and enjoy my New Years eve. I’ll see you all in 2014. [Blaine leans in, shutting off the camera].”
Blaine edits his video. It’s quick. There aren’t too many things to cut out, since he wants to be as honest as possible. Then he starts the upload.
He tweets about it.
@ blaineee uploading a surprise video! I’m probably as nervous as I’ve ever been uploading a video. I hope you all like it. xxx
“It’s ready,” says Blaine once it’s uploaded. He takes it off private before he can change his mind.
Kurt looks up. He’s been silent, knowing Blaine needs his time. Then he looks back down and pulls up what Blaine can only assume is his channel. Blaine hears his own voice come from Kurt’s speakers and his heart beats loudly in his ears as he waits for the end.
When the recording says it - “holding the hand of the boy I love” - Kurt’s breath catches and his eyes, which had already been filling with steady tears, widen. He looks up at Blaine, who is sitting next to him.
“Blaine….”
“So,” he says, smiling. “I love you.”
Kurt looks at him for a moment, then slowly grins. “I love you, too,” he says.
They finish watching the video. Tweets and comments are already coming in. They’re full of support and Blaine feels like he’s on top of the world.
“Come on,” says Blaine, holding out his hand. “Let’s go to celebrate.”
“Yeah,” says Kurt, closing his laptop. “Let’s.”
@ 1hayelyxo oh my GOD i’m so proud of blaine I’m so so so proud I’m crying wow @ blaineee
such a brave video I can’t stop watching it [heart emojis] @ blaineee
@ blaineee we’re here for you blaine!
@ eonline Youtuber @ blaineee comes out in a touching video! [link]
oh my god “we love you blaine” is trending! [crying emoji] @ blaineee
holy shit okay so the boy he loves is totally kurt right?? it HAS to be if he was in the room with him? I mean he even quoted that vlog from vidcon! #klaine
@ buckhollywood my video reaction to @ blaineee coming out! so amazing! [link]
oh wow klaine is canon #wediditkids
@ blaineee just inspired me to finally come out to my family. talk about new years resolution goals. check. we’re partying now!
ooooo
Flashmob Proposal!!! at Vidcon uploaded by blaineee
July 24, 2015
5,048,403 views
“[camera on Blaine, talking in whisper] It’s finally happening. I’ve probably been planning this for two months at this point and - it’s happening. God, I hope he says yes! [laughs] [video cuts to multiple angles, from different cameras. Kurt walks toward the hotel entrance, vlog camera out with Tanya and Zoe; then the music starts, he looks around confused] [All You Need is Love starts playing] [Blaine walks out from the hotel doors, grinning and starting to sing, reaching for his hand as he leads him inside] [Inside are their friends from Youtube and Vidcon attendees, singing along] [Blaine finishes singing and the crowd goes silent as he gets to one knee] Kurt Hummel….I have always admired your courage and your confidence and I’ve loved you since before we’ve even met. You’ve inspired me to live my life honestly and - I honestly love you more than this life could ever allow. But to start, I want to spend the rest of it with you. [Blaine pulls out a ring box] So what do you say - will you marry me? We can pick any state we want to do it in. [Everyone laughs, then holds their breath] [Kurt: Yeah. Yes!] [Blaine rises, hugging Kurt close. He slips the ring onto Kurt’s finger, then they kiss.]”
Vlog: I Said Yes! uploaded by kurtehum
July 24, 2015
4,389,498 views
“[camera tries to focus on Kurt and Blaine] [lots of noise around them as the crowd comes up to congratulate them] Blaine just - oh my god he just - I’m engaged! [Kurt holds up his hand, looking at it strangely] Oh my god. I’m engaged. My dad is even here! How long have you been planning this oh my god. [Blaine laughs. Blaine: A while.] I love you. I love you so much. [They kiss] [Kurt laughs] God there are like 50 camera angles of this thing I can’t believe it. [Blaine: At least our kids won’t have to hear the story of their parents getting engaged a million times.] Just watch it! [Kurt laughs] Come on - I want to get through to my dad. [camera loses focus, cuts out]”