“Name?”
“Trudy C-”
“Is that a nickname? I need your full name.”
“…Gertrude Chau.”
“Favorite mythical creature?”
“Unicorns.”
“…do you have a second favorite?”
“…Mermaids?”
“I can get you mermaids. What were you doing before you - how did you say you got here?”
“I looked under my bed for monsters and fell.”
Scribble scribble. “Before that, what were you doing?”
“We just moved and -”
“Hang on -” Papers rustle. “Which of the following best describes your attitude: excitement about your new opportunities, apprehension about your new school or neighborhood, resentment at loss of old friends and familiar settings, or other?”
“….what does resentment mean?”
“It means you’re mad that they were taken away.”
“That one.”
“Okay. And, fingerprints here in case you take longer on your quest than you’re supposed to and we need to do a locator spell; and would you like a dagger, magic wand, animal companion, or bow and arrows?”
“I only get one?”
“You can combine the animal companion with another option if you fill out form 37-J -”
“I’ll just take the magic wand.”
“There’s a bin of them by the door; take one and then recite this fairy-summoning chant to call a guide fairy and be led to your destination.” Stamp, check, peeling of carbon paper. “This is your copy. Next!”