little m
This is too darn scary for me now! Those of you who know my story, know that I WAS feeling much better, I had a lot of great days! And some crap ones tossed in! But for the most part, I really thought I was healing….
Now, I’m just getting to the point where I have so many more crap days, panic attacks, more balance trouble….seems the more I try to be normal, the worse I wind up feeling…
I’m afraid if I say it out loud it might be true…..don’t know when/ if I’ll heal ….. 
I figured I could post this in protracted…..
My husband said to me today when I said to him” I just want this to stop”
He said” You don’t even know what you have
That’s when it hit me! Maybe I DO have something else! Just maybe!
I know, I know, all my testing was negative , but maybe what I have you CANT see on a test!
I just know this really stinks now….
I’m not a positive person to begin with here….but I’ve tried to be positive for myself and for the others here…..but I’m beginning to lose hope now after all this time.
These bodily sxs just plain suck, I’m sorry! But this thing is relentless now!
I’m just so sad….and mad….and at my wits end with these sxs!
Won’t it just go away and leave me alone!
Maybe I do need help with pills after all , go back on lexapro or something …this is just too much for a person with anxiety to handle anymore…
I’m tired of suffering…
Anybody out there with any encourgement…please respond….
Much love, little m
Healingfrommeds
I know exactlqy where u are coming from. I am 30 months out from a klonopin rapid taper. I am in a killer wave right now and also feeling discouraged. What I can say though is that all of my physical symptoms have gone away–the GI issues, nerve pain, muscle stiffness…
I am stuck with the mental crap still and right now it’s worse than ever. I also just had a big stressor that was very triggering.
Gotta just keep on keeping on I guess
Karen
little m
Thank you healingfrommeds,
I have so many physical sxs yet, and they are what fire up the mental ones!
Gee, I hope your wave ends real soon…
This is a big pain in the butt right now..I just want to live my life!
Yes, we must keep on…no matter what!
Thanks…little m
Jadetortoise
little m,
I am 54 months out and the ABSOLUTE worst dizziness, physical sx, muscle spasms and tension, hot flashes and sweats, nausea, chills at night, fear, adrenaline and histamine surges, rash, losing hair, eyebrows and lashes, nerve pain, all senses heightened, mental stuff, racing thoughts and more.
Don’t want to scare anyone. I was on benzos a long time, and the last 8 years of it a high dose.
But what else could cause all of this? This much? I keep fearing other diseases too. But how could I suddenly get all these diseases at once?
Yes, I am really afraid I may have damage that will never heal or take another decade to finally resolve. I don’t have that much time here. I had barely any of this out of detox. It started slowly, months after, and is the most intense now.
I can really empathize. I wish my physical stuff at least would leave, it would be so much easier.
Well, maybe this isn’t encouraging, but at least it is honest.
Sending healing wishes your way. 
Jade
Gardenia
little m
i know how you feel.
today i had to hang onto hubby when out.
i thought we’d feel better off. i didnt expect all this new stuff
sorry, had to rant lol
FloridaGuy
Moderator
You are “only” 24 months off. All of your testing was negative. I am assuming that what you are feeling now is the same or similar to what you felt earlier in wd? If so, why would you think you have some kind of mystery illness?
This is why it is so important that the truth about protracted wd be told. People who find themselves symptomatic beyond the standard timeframe need to know that it might not be common to still be dealing with symptoms at 2, 3, 4 years off (and in rare cases even longer), but it is absolutely possible.
I can’t think of anything more tragic than for someone to end up back on another mind altering psychoactive medication trying to chase some phantom illness when the likely explanation is right there in front of them.
You ARE healing. If your body was capable of feeling good once, it is capable of feeling good again. And each time you get hit with another aftershock you are one step closer to that window that never closes. It seems to be a lot easier for wd sufferers to accept the fact that we can experience waves when we are a few months off but when we start feeling better and we feel healed the doubts start to creep back in. If it was possible to experience ups and downs in the first year why wouldn’t it be possible for the same thing to happen when we are a couple of years off or more?
Of course the choice to start a new medication needs to be made by you and your doctor. Just make sure you take into consideration that there are fair number of others who are still dealing with benzo related symptoms at 2 or more years off. I’m not sure what your history is with antidepressants but I would also recommend doing plenty of research on any that you might consider taking. I’m sure you know that there are forums just like BB for people who have had similar problems with that class of drugs.
Either way, I hope you feel better soon.
babyrex
Quote from: FloridaGuy on September 02, 2014, 01:14:51 am
You are “only” 24 months off. All of your testing was negative. I am assuming that what you are feeling now is the same or similar to what you felt earlier in wd? If so, why would you think you have some kind of mystery illness?
This is why it is so important that the truth about protracted wd be told. People who find themselves symptomatic beyond the standard timeframe need to know that it might not be common to still be dealing with symptoms at 2, 3, 4 years off (and in rare cases even longer), but it is absolutely possible.
I can’t think of anything more tragic than for someone to end up back on another mind altering psychoactive medication trying to chase some phantom illness when the likely explanation is right there in front of them.
You ARE healing. If your body was capable of feeling good once, it is capable of feeling good again. And each time you get hit with another aftershock you are one step closer to that window that never closes. It seems to be a lot easier for wd sufferers to accept the fact that we can experience waves when we are a few months off but when we start feeling better and we feel healed the doubts start to creep back in. If it was possible to experience ups and downs in the first year why wouldn’t it be possible for the same thing to happen when we are a couple of years off or more?
Of course the choice to start a new medication needs to be made by you and your doctor. Just make sure you take into consideration that there are fair number of others who are still dealing with benzo related symptoms at 2 or more years off. I’m not sure what your history is with antidepressants but I would also recommend doing plenty of research on any that you might consider taking. I’m sure you know that there are forums just like BB for people who have had similar problems with that class of drugs.
Either way, I hope you feel better soon.
Ki3
Physical symptoms suck! I feel exactly as you do and it’s almost as if your post is mine. I refuse to take anything though. Your body is healing. Don’t add anything else to the mess. The less it has to deal with the better!
Hang in there. Tie a knot and hang on.
gizmo
Little M
I’ve read your posts over the last few years and I know you’ve responded to my posts. I’m just a little ahead of you. Reading your post I feel the same way. My sx are physical but lead to mental. No relief to brag about for 25 months 2 days. What are we supposed to do?
Benzos or other rx are not an option for me yet but I do think about it.
I have to be honest and say I may have complicated things by tapering off prednisone before my sx were gone. My bad. Always looking for something to blame these sx on. I only hope that that’s what the problem is.
Hang in there.
I like the way Florida said only 24 months. We’ve made it 2 years. If I new it would end at ( or by)3 years I would have hope..?
MtnHigh
well said, FloridaGuy