Yo. I went on vacation this past week. We drove to Maryland to see my dad and then I spent a few days at the BlogU conference in Baltimore.
Here’s how the trip went.
Prior to our trip I had to go to Goodwill to pick up some accessories (and by accessories I mean a black leather fanny pack) for my 80s/90s/not-sure-what-decade prom outfit for the Nickmom prom at BlogU.
I was just mistaken as an employee in this Goodwill store. Probably not a compliment.
— AnotherBottleofWhine (@KateWhineHall) June 4, 2014
On Wednesday afternoon I picked up Steve and we took off for Maryland. We stopped at too many rest stops.
8yo is simultaneously breakdancing and karate kicking at the entrance of this rest stop. I’m just hoping people will start throwing money. — AnotherBottleofWhine (@KateWhineHall) June 4, 2014
And we entertained ourselves along the way.
My husband just asked me to look up how tall Billy Ocean is in case you’re wondering about the adventure level on our 13-hr car trip. (5’8″)
— AnotherBottleofWhine (@KateWhineHall) June 4, 2014
I made this discovery…with my nose.
“Natural” deodorant just means you’ll naturally smell like you don’t use deodorant. — AnotherBottleofWhine (@KateWhineHall) June 5, 2014
And then I made this discovery…also with my nose.
We’re only four hours into our car trip and the minivan already smells like a giant turd.
— AnotherBottleofWhine (@KateWhineHall) June 5, 2014
We stopped for the night at a hotel near the Indiana/Ohio border.
Not only do we get a room with a view of 10 Mack trucks at this hotel, but also free fresh fruit. pic.twitter.com/1BPunvjNwi — AnotherBottleofWhine (@KateWhineHall) June 5, 2014
I took a selfie.
I basically dress like a 60yo trying to be a 10yo. That’s my husband in the background trying to do a sit-up. pic.twitter.com/wNkodNM8JC — AnotherBottleofWhine (@KateWhineHall) June 5, 2014
Then we got an early start Thursday morning. Clear skies, clear road, clear sailing.
Skips rest stop because “my bladder can make it another 25 miles.” *10 miles later in traffic jam, searching for largest cup in minivan.* — AnotherBottleofWhine (@KateWhineHall) June 5, 2014
I reminisced about road trips with my sister when we were kids.
I’m “I can’t do anymore of my Yes&Know book on this road trip bc SOMEONE left the cap off my invisible ink pen and it DRIED OUT” years old. — AnotherBottleofWhine (@KateWhineHall) June 5, 2014
And then we finally made it to Maryland.
This frozen margarita tastes like my vacation has finally started. — AnotherBottleofWhine (@KateWhineHall) June 5, 2014
Kristi from Finding Ninee picked me up on Friday, somewhere around the DC Beltway, and we headed to Baltimore for BlogU.
My roommate was the Fabulous Julie DeNeen (she’s awesome and fun and totally laid back – I love her!). Our suite-mates were the very creative and funny ladies from Science of Parenthood.
In the evening there was a cocktail party and book-signing. There was also an open-mic for some lucky ladies (or the one brave man who attended BlogU, Mike Cruse) to read one of their posts. I had a few drinks.
Apparently, a few too many.
You know you’re intoxicated when you can sit on the toilet and bang your head on the sink and then laugh about it like I just did.
— AnotherBottleofWhine (@KateWhineHall) June 7, 2014
I read my post, Dear Mom Who’s Trying to Do It All, Cut That Crap Out, later in front of an impromptu open-mic group…except there was no mic. I don’t remember reading it.
The next morning I woke up with a headache – actually, I didn’t really wake up, I don’t know if I ever slept. I had to miss breakfast and the Keynote Panel. Gah! It was like I was back in college. Dumb.
Fortunately, I made it to the first session…with a woozy stomach. I feared having an accident, of the Depends variety, right in the middle of a session. But I pulled through.
I learned how to make better graphics from Robyn Welling, how to make money with my writing from Nicole Leigh Shaw and Anna Sandler, how to maximize my use of Instagram and Pinterest from Ilana Miles and Anna Luther and how to take my crap from my blog to a book from Jen Mann, Karen Alpert and Kim Bongiorno.
I learned a LOT. This conference was fun, affordable, intimate and gave me a lot of practical things I can do to move forward with my writing. If they do it again, I’ll be there. If you blog, go to this conference. It’s the best I’ve been to so far.
At lunch I WON a copy of Peyton Price’s Suburban Haiku. I was so hoping I would win and I did!
Then it was time for the NickMom Retro Prom. We all dressed up in prom dresses from the decade of our choice. It was serious business.
#nofilter#nickmomprom#blogu14 oh my god. @katewhinehall@kristicampbellpic.twitter.com/eX2jEKOSoh — Julie DeNeen (@jdeneen4) June 8, 2014
I had a minor issue on the dance floor with my dress.
Wardrobe malfunction at #nickmomprom The Ocel-o sponge I’m using as a shoulder pad shot out of my sweater and flew across the dance floor. — AnotherBottleofWhine (@KateWhineHall) June 8, 2014
It was a blast. They had a DJ and an extra dancer – that guy could move – almost as well as Sarah from Yoga Pants Mafia.
On Sunday, I got up without a hangover because I chose to not have a drop of alcohol at the prom – see how backwards I am? I got to give my first ever autograph when Jennifer from Real Life Parenting asked me to sign HerStories (y’all know I’m in a book, right?). Granted, she’s in the book too, so it was like we were trading autographs, except I forgot my book at my dad’s house aaaand I suck.
Later in the morning, my husband and family picked me up and we went to an Orioles game. My son wouldn’t stop messing with me.
Me: Stop that. 8: But I like pinching your fat. Me: Well, I don’t. 8: You have a mustache. Me: 8: A little one. Me: 8: …and a goatee. — AnotherBottleofWhine (@KateWhineHall) June 8, 2014
I showed off my bravery.
The biggest evidence of bravery in my life is the fact that I’ll wear this hat in public. pic.twitter.com/Q9RSBWRtfI
— AnotherBottleofWhine (@KateWhineHall) June 8, 2014
The kids went kind of nuts because they were bored and the Orioles lost, like 11-0 or something pathetic like that.
The most exciting part of this baseball game has been this bag of peanuts I ate. — AnotherBottleofWhine (@KateWhineHall) June 8, 2014
I spent Monday just hanging out at my dad’s house. Which made me think about this because we saw an ant or two.
Outside: Don’t step on those ants they’re God’s creation. Inside: Ants! Get me the ant motels, Raid, fly swatter, bleach, TNT and an anvil. — AnotherBottleofWhine (@KateWhineHall) June 9, 2014
Later, I tweeted this:
A 30-minute run isn’t so bad when you run for 2 minutes then feel winded, so you stop & lie down in the grass & tweet for the remaining 28. — AnotherBottleofWhine (@KateWhineHall) June 10, 2014
On Tuesday we drove home.
Just starting out on our 14-hour road trip straight through to home with the family. That’s it. That’s the joke. — AnotherBottleofWhine (@KateWhineHall) June 10, 2014
My daughter said this sweet thing.
5yo: I love you, mama. Me: I love you too, baby. 5yo: I used to hate you, but now I love you. Me:… — AnotherBottleofWhine (@KateWhineHall) June 10, 2014
We stopped at more rest stops.
I think my 5yo just performed her first drum solo at this rest stop by pounding on the side of the TP container until everybody went deaf. — AnotherBottleofWhine (@KateWhineHall) June 10, 2014
And I saw @dafloydsta’s tweet about the five stages of grief and thought about my own:
My five stages of grief: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Wait, what happened? — AnotherBottleofWhine (@KateWhineHall) June 10, 2014
I was hoping it would turn into a joke format, but I don’t have enough clout to get something like that started. Then we finally made it home.
Post by Kate Hall.
On Tuesday night I went in and published the embarrassing story of how my cousin’s husband got a moth stuck in his ear. I was supposed to post it on Monday, but couldn’t access my blog and haven’t figured out how to scheduled since moving to WordPress.
And that’s how our trip went. I’d do it all again in a heartbeat, except next time I’d get me some of those stockings Julie DeNeen wore. And I wouldn’t drink as much…on the first night anyhow.
Note: I’m moving next week (like, to a new house) so I may not be around as much. I have all this crap to pack.
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