By Julia Williams
“Cats being jerks” is something of a social media phenomenon lately. Evidence is everywhere you look – photos, videos, memes and personal posts all offering confirmation of cats being jerks.
At first I wasn’t fond of this new trend. I feared that labeling cats as jerks would not help their image in the eyes of some. “Jerk” does have a negative connotation, after all. But then I realized something: there will always be people who don’t like cats, but these are NOT the people creating this brand of social media humor. Who is, then? It’s the cat owners themselves, and I’ll tell you why. Some cats are just jerks!
It’s not really a bad thing though. Some cats are just inherently mischief makers. Cats by nature have a bit of a “devil may care” attitude. Cats behave like jerks because they don’t censure their desires in order to please us. They do what they want, and don’t care if they get reprimanded. Our displeasure is not something a cat loses sleep over.
Legions of cat owners know that this is just the way cats are, and we love them in spite of it. Sometimes, it’s fodder for a Facebook post that amuses our friends. We poke fun at our cats’ naughtiness because it beats getting mad at something we know they can’t control. It would be like saying to a leopard “I don’t like your spots. Can you please remove them?”
I read a funny post that said “Cats are like drunk friends; they break things and steal your food.” Haha! This is true, and those two things are probably the most prevalent ways that cats behave like jerks. Cats have a “what’s yours in mine” attitude, and if they want to play with that expensive gizmo you left sitting on the coffee table, they will. Oh, and expecting them not to lick the butter when you turn your back…well, that’s just foolish!
Some people even provide evidence of their naughty kitties, such as my friend Robin who posted a photo of her cat chewing on a package of hamburger buns. This cracked me up, and it’s a sure sign of a cat lover – they see a misdeed taking place and instead of stopping it, they get the camera!
If you’ve read this blog before, you know that my cat Rocky is the quintessential “Naughty Cat” who has inspired many a post here. Such as “Bad Kitty Confessions” and “Is There Anything This Cat Won’t Do?” Today I asked my Facebook friends if they had any funny stories of their cats being jerks. Boy, did they ever. Enjoy!
Naughty Eating
Tracey: Teddy just chewed up my tube of lip balm.
Emily: My boys broke into the food cabinet and ate the loaf of bread last night.
Natalie: Melly ate another pair of headphones recently. This is a regular occurrence.
JB: My cat licked my steak.
Dee: My ginger menace Dusty is also known as Mr. Naughty. He’s chewed up two Mac book air cords at $85 a pop. Mont Blanc pen and pencil set with teeth marks in both barrels? $300+. iPhone charger cords? x3= $60. That’s just in one week.
Kelly: Boris ripped open a bag of freeze dried chicken overnight. Lil chicken particles were everywhere. He and his sisters ate most if it. The vacuum got the rest.
Destructo Kitties
Jeanne: My scratcher used to have red paper with a cute design on the sides. Some cat (*cough*Daiquiri*cough) ripped off the paper and tore it into tiny pieces. I got home from work to red snow all over the living room.
Laraine: My problem child chewed up a roll of TP, fell thru a hole in the ceiling of the next door apt., pulled the bedroom window screen open in the middle of the night & got out.
Susie: I had a lovely armchair with a gorgeous purple throw over it. After 3 months I took the throw off to be washed and found that my chair’s back had been completely scratched off. And I mean completely – never saw anything like it. He did it sneakily when I was out, never when I was in the room. He knew exactly what he was doing. Clever but naughty!
Sue: Zoey pulled a planter off a shelf, dumping it all over the floor.
Naughty Nether Regions
Kimberly: My cat keeps dragging undergarments around the house.
Lester: My cat is a long hair calico tabby who is a bit overweight. So much so I call her Aunt Clara! Because of her physical girth and long hair, she often misses getting her bootie region. Thus I have to baby wipe. She turns over and loves it. Now that’s a naughty cat!
Jenn: Squeaky loves to lick me right after licking his butt.
Alana: My cat pooped in the bathroom, not in the litter box that was there, and dragged it all over the sink, toilet, floor and tub.
Naughty Climbers
Emily: Caster climbs the door frame and lets out a mighty roar when he reaches the top. Then he slides back down, like a fireman on a fire pole.
Carole: Viola got on top of the 9 foot tall TV center. She must have found a time/space portal because there is no way up there other than to jump 9 feet straight up.
Debbie: My cat climbed the door frame to the powder room and hung off the top, loudly chortling while I was on a conference call.
Robin: Bleu ended up hanging from the kitchen curtain rod as if he was doing chin ups.
Miscellaneous Naughtiness
Stacy: My Ollie steals dog toys from our neighbor.
Elizablest: Georgie, (1 year old skinny rescue) is always getting picked by Pinky (obese 8 month old). He was looking for his chance to get even. Today Pinky was on the high shelf. Georgie snuck up on him and pushed Pinky off the shelf!
Shannon: Curzon hooked his claw into me last night when I was giving him his thyroid pill. He tried to bully his sister this morning, and he nearly tripped me as I stumbled out of bed. Naughty 2am howling cat!
Is your cat a jerk too? Tell us about their naughty deeds!
Read more articles by Julia Williams